Money.

The root of all evil, or so they say.

What a joke. Money isn't evil. Money is paper or pixels on a screen. The people who had it on the other hand… well, now that was a different story.

In his experience, people were the root of all evil. People who had money were usually just evil in bigger ways than the rest of them.

They say that money can't buy happiness, which he also disagreed with. You may not be able to buy happiness as such, but you could make all the sad things go away. Still, love it or hate it, if you had money, you had freedom. You had power, influence, and the friends that those things bought.

Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. If you didn't have money, you may find many of your goals are suddenly a lot more difficult. The usual response to a lack of money was to get a better job, cut down on the spending, etc, etc. Kehre had a few different methods in mind. Sure, they may not be as … common, but that wasn't the point.

He smirked to himself. Well, maybe it was a little bit the point. Brushing some hair out of his eyes, he looked back down at the locked door in front of him. This was certainly on one end of the legal spectrum, and it wasn't the happy end.

Now, he knew, stealing is bad. Thieves never prosper and all that jazz. What nobody had ever bothered to tell him was that thieves do prosper. They prosper right up until they're caught. Naturally, the obvious trick is to never get caught. Easier said than done, particularly with all the Overseers looming menacingly.

As was human nature though, when the authorities cracked down on crime, crime evolved. Gone were the days of holding up convenience stores or storming banks. This was the age of subtlety. The age of social manipulation, of crime committed on the other side of the world from the comfort of a computer chair.

As the focus shifted to technology, some lagged behind. Some, like him, preferred the old fashioned way of things. The oldest tricks still worked more times than not, and there was something to be said for the comfort of a lockpick and the knowledge of how to use it.

Kehre was struck from his musings as the door clicked open. The smirk vanished, to be replaced with a carefully neutral expression. The clock was ticking now, and he needed to focus. There would be time for musing later.

The storm raging outside might discourage the average passer-by from investigating, but it wouldn't stop the Overseers and their Watchers. He was just lucky the government hadn't figured out how to get people to accept the things into their houses yet. Once that happened, his particular brand of 'wealth relocation' may well fade into obscurity.

He paused to remove his wet raincoat, and backpack, placing them carefully by the door. Didn't want to track water into the house – he was, after all, a considerate thief, not some scoundrel.

The owners wouldn't be back for a good week or two in any case, so he could afford to take his time.

By the time he was done, everything of value would… well, mostly be left where it was. For the most part, stealing almost any items was an exercise in frustration. Even back alley pawn shops usually had an iden-check these days, a device which confirmed you were who you said you were, and that the items you were selling did in fact belong to you.

Some thieves had figured out ways around this, most of which involved trying to fool either the device or it's owner into thinking there was some manner of error. For the most part, dealers couldn't be bothered to scan the unique identifier manually, and simply waved the purchase through.

Kehre stayed well away from that. While it may seem like a good way to make a quick buck, there were too many things that could go wrong. He was happy with cash and easily traded goods, thank you very much.

Of those, alcohol usually went for a premium, and nicotine could be sold for any amount he cared to name. Shame those were so rare, but then again they wouldn't be restricted substances if they were easy to get a hold of.

As an added little bonus, it was almost impossible to check if these had been purchased legally. The usual chemicals trackers used on everything else would change the taste, and thus were never used.

Kehre strode confidently through the house, mentally building a list of things to take. While this particular house didn't appear to have a security system, it was possible some of the more valuable objects were linked to a separate system. Often, they would send a silent signal to the police, while spraying the perp with a bright red dye that was incredibly difficult to get rid of.

He was fairly certain there was nothing of the sort here, but it was good to have a plan of attack before the attack started. Making things up on the fly was all well and good, but best to leave it as a last resort. By figuring out the most valuable objects and their locations, even if everything went horribly, he could still grab something on his way out.

Striding into a large office, he paused to cock an eyebrow at some kind of fancy floating sculpture in the corner. These people clearly had more money than sense. And judging by the fact that they could afford a month-long holiday to Nepal, they had a lot of the former.

As the world was dragged grudgingly into the future, the United Nations had grown in power and influence. Now calling themselves the United World Coalition, or UWC, they were responsible for the recent bounds in drone technology and surveillance. As they grew, their reach grew with them until there were very few countries not under control. The ones left untouched were mostly third world countries – places with a populace unwilling to bow to any form of authority, and the stubbornness required to wage a guerrilla war to prevent it. The UWC decided to let them be, reasoning it simply wasn't worth the manpower needed to enforce their idea of justice.

The few countries left were kept afloat only by tourism, as people from around the world tried to get away from the ever-present oversight of the UWC. Generally viewed as places to let loose, they were dens of inequity and violence to a one. That a family of four was able to afford the exorbitant protection fees demanded by the international compounds boded well for the thief.

Kehre was nearing the end of his list when he found… It.

It… was the safe.

The safe was several hundred pounds of reinforced steel, bolted to the floor, protected by all the security technology that could be crammed into its frame.

It was also an opportunity.

No matter how rich this family was, nobody had the kind of money needed to buy one of these on a whim. After all, this wasn't just any safe. This was the latest and greatest in secure item storage. Featuring three layers of biometric security, it was generally considered impossible to get into by anybody but the owner. It also had motion-activated cameras installed in key spots around its frame, with the footage being stored in a hard drive inside the safe itself. It sported a tracking beacon linked to a geo-fence around the property.
If anybody tried to steal the whole thing and open it at their leisure, it would send a signal to the police. If it detected any attempt at forced entry, it would send a signal to the police. If more than three attempts were made at opening the safe via the biometric scanner, it would, surprisingly enough, send a signal to the police.

It also undoubtedly held some pretty serious valuables. Kehre could practically already hear the blessed silence of his landlord leaving him alone for once.

He reached deep into a pocket and pulled out a chunky, black device about half the size of a brick. It looked like it had been put together by a blindfolded monkey, with various wires and zip ties branching across the face. It was also the reason he was behind on his rent.

While Kehre tried to avoid any house with a security system, he wasn't stupid enough to think he would be able to do so forever. He needed a backup option, a get out of trouble free card. After carefully putting out feelers for the better part of a year, an associate of his had told him about someone named Otto.

Apparently, he was some kind of genius, but the part Kehre was more interested in was the claims he made about being able to get anybody anything.

It had only taken a few weeks for this Otto to get him the device in his hands. Unfortunately, it cost most of his savings upfront, and he was still paying off the rest after almost 5 months. Equally unfortunately, or maybe the opposite, he hadn't had a cause to test it. After all, only an idiot would purposefully get themselves in danger by testing it on anything on the street.

This was the perfect chance to test it on something that wouldn't be able to take him out if it failed. If it could even just interrupt the workings of the safe, the automatic disengage should kick in, opening the safe… well, safely.

Seemed like a bit of a cheap trick, but considering he had never even heard of a portable EMP before, it wasn't the kind of thing the manufacturers would worry about defending against.

Hopefully.

Still, no reason to test fate. Kehre turned and moved back towards the entrance, pulling a few items from shelves and cupboards as he went. Arriving at the backpack he had left by the front door, he carefully stashed the two bottles of expensive looking brandy in the bag, followed by a cred chip he had found in a bedside drawer, and a few odds and ends. It was a smaller haul than he would normally bother with, but every little bit helped. He'd get a hot meal out of it at least.

As a final touch after his shoes and raincoat were on, he pulled his plain black scarf up to the bridge of his nose. Just in case the EMP failed and the cameras remained operational.

Steeling his nerves and running over his escape route one last time, he moved back to the office.

Pressing the EMP to the side of the safe, he took a deep breath and pressed the button on the side.

A high-pitched whine started building, setting his teeth on edge. If this Otto kid was blowing smoke out his arse, Kehre would be having words with him. The kind of words that didn't involve talking, to be clear.

The device bleeped it's readiness. Kehre closed his eyes, turned his face away, and pressed the button again. The device heated up for a second in his palm before letting out a low whine and going black. Huh, that was it?

Kehre was just about to start cursing upstart kids who fleeced honest thieves out of massive amounts of money when the lights flickered. Eyes snapping back to the safe, he saw the backlit screen fade to black.

A loud clunk echoed through the room.

The 2-inch thick door swung open.

Sirens split the air.

Hi all!

8 years ago, a much dumber me started writing… something. I really have no idea where I was originally going with this idea, but I figure I may as well try completing it now. The title will stay the same as homage to the original, but pretty much everything else will be different. I'm going to try to update at least once a month, but we'll see how that pans out. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, or just criticism in general.