Defying Gravity

"What?"

"It was one time," Edward sputtered. "It meant nothing and I was—"

His sentence is cut off when Alec gets into the backseat of my car. "Hey, guys, who's excited about this party?"

I gripped the steering wheel dangerously tight, my whole body coiled like a snake. Edward has the decency to look ashamed, but I am torn between punching his fucking face in or dropping them both off at the side of the road.

However, this is Emmett's party and I promised we would be there.

My face flushes as I slowly turn on the engine, desperately trying not to think about how much of joke they probably think I am. As it turns out, all those years of insecurities and thinking Edward might actually want a man—were right.

I would never be enough for him.

Somehow I drive to Emmett's house. Alex finally got the message and stopped trying to make conversation with us. The drive had been intense silence, my own thoughts racing, trying grasp at why it hurt so fucking much. The pain was worse than anything I could ever imagine like my heart was being physically torn from my chest.

I parked in the driveway, my hands still grasping the wheel tightly.

"Jasper?" Edward said my name quietly. "Are you coming?"

"In a minute," I replied.

"I'll wait for you," Edward answered.

"No," I said sharply. "Go to the party. I just need a minute."

"But—"

"Get the fuck out Edward!" I barked, my voice raising alarmingly louder with each word.

Alec gets out immediately and Edward didn't move for several moments before he finally got up and left. I sat in the car, breathing hard for several minutes, with my pulse racing.

"Jas man!" Emmett called from the front porch. "Get your twink ass inside!"

I take some time to gather my thoughts before exiting the vehicle, unable to even plaster a smile on my face. "I'm here jackass," I mumbled.

"About fucking time! Are you driving tonight?" Emmett slurred, throwing his arm around my shoulder.

"I am not now," I grunted and then snatched a cup from the nearest table.

"That's the spirit!" Emmett hollered, slapping me hard on the back.

I drained my glass and nearly gagged as the alcohol burned my throat. On impulse, I decided to get wasted, super fucking wasted. That way nobody would ever notice the gaping hole in my chest. Emmet steered me inside and thrust another drink into my waiting hands.

The next few hours blurred together. I spent most of my time with Emmett and his jocks, talking shit and drinking hardcore Whiskey. The more we talked, the drunker I became, the drunker I become the more I wanted to tear Edward apart for doing this to me.

Moving here had been a mistake.

One big colossal mistake, that I was paying for because Edward didn't have to balls to tell me he was so unhappy. I fucking hated him for that. I hated him for pretending to accept me, for pretending that I was the man he wanted.

Suddenly I felt ill. The thought of them together made my stomach wrench. Alec had a cock, a real one. That could thrust and come and make Edward puddy in his hands. God—I felt sick.

What the hell am I doing here? Being around both of them is a thousand times worse.

"Jas, you okay man?" Emmett chuckled. "You gonna be sick?"

"Can you get someone to drive me home?"

"What?" Emmett scoffed. "Fuck that, why?"

"I don't feel well—"

"It's my birthday man," Emmett grunted. "Sleep on the couch, but as my best friend you can't go anywhere."

Fuck—how could I refuse that? "Sure, no problem."

"God, what's wrong with you? Panties in a twist? I'll get Edward."

"Don't," I barked at Emmett savagely, causing several people to stop and stare at us.

"Oh my God," Emmett rolled his eyes. "You've got to be kidding me! You guys got into a fight, didn't you? That's why your all moody and pissed off. I'm going to rip him a new one!"

"Emmett wait—"

"No, seriously? On my birthday? You guys can't keep it civil for one evening?" Emmett demanded and then took off into the crowd.

I bolted from the room immediately afterward. Hoping that when Emmett found Edward, they wouldn't find me and just give up searching. I ended up in the backyard next to the Keg and poured myself another drink.

The evening was pretty warm, my tight shirt stretch comfortably across my muscles as I scanned the scenery. Most of these people I didn't know. They were Emmett's friends from the football team, they all matched the meathead jock descriptions, except for a couple of few who obviously had wandered in the party looking for a good time.

"There you are," Edward said coming to stand beside me. "Emmett said you where in the kitchen, but I didn't see you."

"Fuck off," I grunt and then take a long drink of my beer.

"Let's not get into," Edward mumbled.

"Well, if you can keep your cock in your pants before the night is over maybe we won't have to." I barked harshly. "Leave me alone."

"Never," Edward said quietly.

Something akin to agony twisted in my gut. We had said those words year ago and had meant them. We made promises, we made vows. Edward had fucking promised me the world. Hell—we were seventeen, what did we know back then?

"Stop it."

I couldn't believe he had the fucking balls to say that to me when I had bared my soul to him, trusting him completely.

"No," Edward replied. "I meant every single word that I said. Just because we got off track—"

"Got off track?" I spit back to him. "You fucking cheated on me. Those vows mean nothing, not anymore. Especially when you had your cock deep in someone else."

Edward looked around cautiously, the tension in his jaw obvious as he tried to control his emotions. "No matter what….I've always loved you." He said quietly.

Rage burst through my body. He doesn't get to say that, he doesn't get to take the moral fucking high road while he slept with Alec, throwing away years of our relationships for one night.

Throwing me away for one night.

Fuck him for saying that. Fucking him for doing this to me—to us. Goddamn, these feelings. The anger was so abrupt and explosive I felt my face beet red.

"Fuck your love," I bark, tossing my drink in his stupid face.

Edward stood there drenched in beer, his face stony as several people turned around to stare at the commotion. I threw the cup at his chest and stormed off toward the living room.

A/N: Stay tuned the rest will be posted soon. Those of you who want to know exactly when subscribed to my blog for the exact date.

Thoughts?