Disclaimer: If I owned it, I wouldn't be writing fanfic about it.

Author's Note: I usually prefer to write serious stories, but this silly idea just wanted to be let out, so here it is! The setting is in the 8th season, after the events of 8x04 "God Complex", but before the events of 8x10 "The Lesson".

It had been one of those awful cases involving children. The BAU had spent the last ten days chasing the unsub across four states before finally catching him in North Dakota. By the time they arrested him, it was just past midnight, so they arrived at the only motel in town around 1:30 in the morning to check in to catch a good night's sleep before flying back to Quantico.

There weren't enough rooms available for everyone, so they had to double up. Hotch said, "JJ, Blake, you two are sharing. Reid, Morgan, you're bunking together. I'll share with Rossi. Meet in the lobby at 11:00 in the morning."

Everyone nodded and then filed to their respective rooms. When Reid and Morgan arrived at theirs, Morgan claimed the bed by the door. Reid tossed his bag on the bed by the window. Reid went into the bathroom to change into his pajamas. When he was finished, he noticed that Morgan had also changed and had grabbed two beers from the minibar.

"It's been that kind of a case," Morgan said.

Reid accepted the beer and took a sip. He said, "Ethanol is considered to be one of the most effective truth serums available, and aside from its addictive potential, it has fewer side effects. It's also an aphrodisiac."

Morgan grinned and said, "Aphrodisiac, huh. Are you coming on to me, Pretty Boy?"

Reid blushed brightly and nervously ran his hands through his tangled hair. "No, Morgan. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything. I ramble sometimes. Maybe I should ask Hotch or Rossi to switch rooms with me."

"Relax, kid. I was just making a joke," Morgan said.

Reid laughed nervously.

Morgan said, "Let's play truth or dare."

"What?"

"It's either that or sleep, and I don't know about you, but after this case, I don't really want to see what kind of nightmares my psyche will cook up," Morgan said.

"Fair point. Okay."

"Your turn first. Truth or dare?" Morgan asked.

"Um, truth, I guess," Reid said.

"So, when you joined the BAU, there was a rumor going around that the reason you got in and got all of those waivers is because you were fraternizing with Gideon. Everyone said the two of you were just a little too close, if you catch my drift. Is it true?" Morgan asked.

"What?! No! How could you possibly think that? I earned my place in the BAU!" Reid said indignantly.

"I never said I believed it," Morgan responded. "And I know you earned your place. You're an excellent agent."

"Gideon was like a father to me. That was the kind of relationship we had. He never took advantage of me," Reid said.

Reid smoothly changed the subject by saying, "Okay, Morgan. Your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"All those innuendoes on the phone have me wondering. Have you and Garcia ever actually slept together?"

"No. She doesn't want to. I'm apparently not geeky enough for her," Morgan said.

"She said that?" Reid asked.

"Not in so many words, but what else would be the reason? I mean, right after she got shot, I told her that I love her, and then she starts dating Kevin Lynch. Then, last year, after she and Kevin had a fight, she called me over to her place in the middle of the night, and we got drunk and watched movies. In the morning, she thought we had slept together, and she was horrified by the idea. Then she got back together with Kevin. Then, after she broke up with Kevin, she decided to go to a Dr. Who convention. Instead of asking me, her best friend, who does she take? You - Dr. IQ 187 himself. Clearly she prefers geeks," Morgan said, dejectedly.

"Morgan, look at the kind of women you go for. You go to bars and pick up airheads. She probably thinks that she isn't your type," Reid said.

This was hitting too close to home, so Morgan stopped the conversation by saying, "Truth or dare?"

Reid contemplated choosing a dare, but he was apprehensive of what Morgan would pick, so he said, "Truth."

"Have you ever slept with anyone on the team?" Morgan asked.

"Yes," Reid said.

"Really? Who?"

"Well, that depends. Does it count if they weren't on the team when it happened?"

"Yeah, sure. Spill it, Pretty Boy," Morgan said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Garcia, Elle, Alex, Seaver, Rossi, and Emily. And I've made out with JJ and Hotch," Reid said.

"Damn! You get around," Morgan said.

Reid reached into the minibar and got out another round of beers. He smirked and said, "Yeah. What can I say? The brain is the most important sex organ, and mine is impressive."

"You don't get to stop there. Keep talking."

"Garcia and I went to Caltech at the same time. She was a freshman and I was working on my first PhD. We were both young, awkward teenagers. After her parents died, she dropped out and ran away. I didn't see her again until she joined the BAU," Reid said.

"I ran into Elle in Vegas a few months after she left the team. She told me that she missed me, and that she was sorry that she left me behind. She was in town for a private investigator conference; she decided to freelance. I offered to show her around town, and after a night of dinner and dancing, I walked her to her hotel room. She invited me inside, and one thing led to another. We still keep in touch, but we haven't seen each other for a while," Reid continued.

"What about Alex? I thought she was married," Morgan said.

"Alex and I were friends with benefits for about a year before she and her husband got married. We met in a seminar at Georgetown and hit it off right away. She's brilliant, beautiful, and great in bed," Reid said.

"I did not need to know that last part," Morgan said.

"You asked," Reid retorted. "Emily and I slept together the night after she came back from the dead. It was more of a 'hey, you're alive' thing than anything."

He continued, "Rossi and I didn't go all the way. It was after a particularly bad case. We were stuck sharing a room, and we got drunk. I had always had a little crush on him, and I stupidly made a move on him. To my everlasting surprise, he didn't kick me out or report me to Hotch. I, uh, gave him a blow job. He fell asleep before he could return the favor, and I'm kind of grateful for that. I don't know if I could have faced him the next morning if he had. It would have been too embarrassing. We never spoke of it again."

"Well, now I know why Hotch never assigns the two of you to share rooms on cases," Morgan said.

"You think Hotch knows?" Reid asked.

"I doubt it. Rossi probably told some white lie about how he doesn't want to share with you because you snore. If he told the truth, Hotch would have had a talk with you about the fraternization policy," Morgan said.

"Oh, I've already gotten a very long and very stern lecture on the fraternization policy from Hotch," Reid said.

"Do tell," Morgan replied.

"On Seaver's first case with the team, after she got chewed out by Hotch for breaking protocol and confronting the unsub alone, she came to my hotel room crying. I comforted her and told her stories of all the trouble I got myself into when I was new. The stories made her laugh, and she's beautiful when she laughs. She thanked me for being nice to her and said I was the only person who wasn't treating her differently because her father was a serial killer. She kissed me, one thing led to another, and we slept together. Hotch caught us the next morning when he went looking for Seaver and couldn't find her. He knocked on my door and saw her in my bed when I answered. He was beyond pissed," Reid said.

Reid continued, "He didn't say anything at that moment, but when we got back to Quantico, he called me into his office, and I got a lecture on how she was a cadet and I was a supervisory special agent in her training unit, which put me in a position of power over her, and that I abused that power. The only reason he didn't report me to Strauss was because he didn't want to have to deal with the paperwork. But he made me go to sexual harassment prevention training and told me that if I so much looked at Seaver again, he would sic Strauss on me in a heartbeat. So I kept my hands off of her until she transferred into Agent Swan's unit. Then we went out a few more times and decided to be just friends," Reid said.

"Wow. I can't imagine Hotch freaking out like that," Morgan said.

"I think it had to do more with his own feelings of guilt than anything. Right around the time Haley left him, Hotch and I were on a custodial interview together. After the interview, at the hotel, he got a little drunk and made a pass at me. We got as far as some heavy making out, but still with our clothes on, before he changed his mind. He apologized and said that he would understand if I wanted to file a sexual harassment complaint against him. I told him that I wouldn't be filing a complaint because it only counts as harassment if it's unwelcome. He said that it still wasn't right of him, that it was an improper use of his position of authority, and that it would never happen again. We've never shared a room on a case since," Reid said.

"Okay, what about JJ?"

"Do you remember that top secret date I had with her?" Reid asked.

Morgan nodded.

Reid continued, "Gideon thought I had a crush on her, but I didn't. I memorized a bunch of football statistics so that I wouldn't look clueless. JJ thought it was really sweet. It turns out she had a crush on me, but I was totally oblivious to it. Well, after the game, I drove her back to her place and walked her up to the door. She invited me in for coffee. I didn't realize that coffee was a euphemism, so I said yes. As soon as we got inside, she started kissing me. She told me that I was sexy and that she had been hoping to get me in her apartment since she met me. I was flattered."

There was a long pause. Morgan said, "And?"

"And nothing."

"After all of that, she just stopped and you went home?"

"No. After that, she took me to her bedroom. But I couldn't go through with it. She's like a sister to me. I just don't have those kinds of feelings for her. She was really embarrassed, so we decided the whole thing was top secret. Then I went home. You can't tell her that I told you this," Reid said.

"Don't worry, my lips are sealed," Morgan said.

"Truth or dare?" Reid asked.

Morgan was feeling a little relaxed after his third beer, so he said, "Dare."

"I dare you to start a prank war with Rossi," Reid said.

"Deal. I've learned a few science magic tricks from you over the years. It's on!" Morgan said.

"No...then he'll think I did it!" Reid whined.

"Too bad. You should have thought of that before you picked it. Your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Reid said.

"Clearly you're into both men and women, but you've never made a move on me. Why not? Aren't you attracted to me?" Morgan asked.

"Morgan! I can't answer that!"

"Sure you can. It's the rules."

"You're not going to like the answer," Reid said.

"I'm a big boy, kid."

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. Yes. I'm attracted to you. How could I not be? You're hot," Reid said.

"Why haven't you done anything about it?" Morgan asked.

"Because you're the straightest guy I know, and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or hurt our friendship. Even though this conversation might suggest otherwise, I really am capable of keeping it in my pants when I need to," Reid said.

"You're right, Reid. It would have made me uncomfortable. I would have gotten over it, though. It wouldn't have hurt our friendship. Did it hurt your friendship with JJ when she was interested in you but you weren't interested in her?"

"No."

Reid sighed.

"What's wrong?" Morgan asked.

"I've really made a mess of things," Reid said.

"How so?"

"There's nobody on the team I can share a room with without causing drama. You're the only person I haven't either slept with or tried to sleep with. And now that you know, it will cause drama if we share," Reid said.

"It's not going to cause any drama on my part, Reid. I'm flattered that you're attracted to me, but I trust you. I know you would never do anything to make me uncomfortable. So I'm fine rooming with you if you're fine rooming with me," Morgan said.

"Okay, but let's not talk about this again," Reid said.

"Deal. What happens in North Dakota stays in North Dakota," Morgan said.

They climbed into their separate beds and turned out the lights. Morgan said, "Hey, Reid?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me more about your mystery payphone woman?"

"Goodnight, Morgan."