Dan's P.O.V.

I smiled to myself and hopped the stairs up to the flat. I opened the door and shut it right behind me.

"Phil, I'm home!" I shouted to the quiet flat. I threw my shoes away and put my jacket on the rack before I realized that the flat was too quiet. Was Phil even in here, or did he go out without telling me? Usually he didn't do that, but I think it would be just a good thing. He was too much indoors anyway. I walked the stairs up to Phil's bedroom and knocked on it, just to make sure if he was home or not. No answer. "Phil, are you in there?" I asked and tried to knock again. No answer. I opened the door slowly.

Phil lay on the floor, not breathing. There was two empty pill bottles on his nightstand and one on the floor, opened, but the pills were all over the floor. Like he got it open, but he dropped it and fell on the floor trying to collect them back in the bottle. One bloody razor blade was on the bed and one was still on Phil's hand. There was blood all over the floor and the bed. The sheets and the carpet was ruined and so was Phil. Phil's both wrists were open and cuts were covering his whole body. His thighs and legs, arms and chest, everywhere was deep bloody cuts. It was like there was nothing left of Phil.

"Phil!" I shouted and ran over him. I knelt down next to him and pulled his head into my lap. "Phil, what the fuck have you done? Phil, answer me!" I yelled and tears started to stream down my face. "Phil, please, answer me", I said holding his head. I moved his hair away from his face. He wasn't breathing. His chest wasn't raising and falling again and again. His heart wasn't beating. He was dead. And there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing. "Phil, I need you, I love you, you can't leave me", I cried and buried my face in to his hair. "You can't be dead, I love you. Do you hear me? I love you. Just please, come back."

I woke up from my nightmare and tried to catch my breath. I glanced quickly on the other side of the bed, where Phil was sleeping peacefully, breathing, his chest raising and falling again and again, his beautiful heart beating. I leaned down and kissed his forhead before I stood up. I didn't even watch the clock, I just walked out of my bedroom. Then I heard screaming back from my room and ran back there. Phil was screaming and shaking violently on the bed. I jumped on the bed and pulled him close to me.

"Phil, it's okay, everything's okay. You were just having a nightmare, you'll be okay", I said trying to calm him down. It wasn't easy to hold him, as he was shaking so much, but I did it anyway. He needed me, I needed to help him. "Shh, you'll be okay, it was just a nightmare", I continued and rubbed his back in a sign to calm him down. Finally, after a long time, he calmed down and I felt him getting comfortable against me. I already thought he was asleep. "Just a nightmare. Everybody has nightmares, even I do. Actually I had one just a bit before you", I continued as I thought he didn't hear me, but then he pulled away.

"You had a nightmare?" he asked. He was tired and his eyes were sleepy. I nodded slowly.

"But let's not talk abou that, you're tired", I said trying to change the subject and pulled Phil back close to me. He shook his head, but he didn't resist. I played with his hair and yawned. I was tired too and I wanted to go back to sleep.

"What was your nightmare about?" Phil asked and wrapped his arms around my neck, pushing me down to lay on the bed.

"Nothing, it was just-", I cut myself off. The nightmare was the worse I've ever seen. Even thinking about it made me cry. "It was jsut about you. I-in the dream I found you dead, f-from your room and, and", I wasn't able to continue as tears streamed down my face. Phil pulled away, but I couldn't look him in the eyes. "And I'm afraid that you're really gonna kill yourself, that the next time I come home from somewhere, I would find you dead, and I couldn't take that", I continued and tried to wipe the tears away with my arm.

"Dan", Phil said. "Dan, listen to me", he said and took my head between his hands. "I'm not gonna kill myself. Not when I have a reason to live. Dan, I have you", he said and looked at me in the eyes, making sure that I was listening. Then he pressed his lips on mine and it felt amazing. It felt better than our first kiss. Suddenly I wanted to feel Phil as close to me as possible, so I moved my hand in his hair and pulled him even closer, deepening the kiss. Phil smiled against my lips and finally pulled away to catch his breath. I stared at him in the eyes and pulled him against my side.

"I love you", I said.

"I love you too", Phil said and buried his face in to my chest.

Phil's P.O.V

I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it on the bathroom floor. I stared at myself from the mirror, thinking why I was like this. Why was I fat and ugly? And why couldn't I do anything about that? I glanced at my wrists, covered with cuts. Those little lines felt so good and I wanted more of those so badly. I wanted to make them, untill I got to the point where I didn't feel anything anymore. But I couldn't. I promides to Dan. Why did I have to promise that to him? Did he really care about me or were we living in a dream? I didn't know where Dan had put my blade, but I had another one too. I needed that blade so badly.

I turned around quickly and stepped out of the bathroom before I could do anything. I walked to Dan's room, where he was on his bed, laptop on his lap, probably scrolling through twitter or tumblr.

"Dan", I said and tried to keep my voice as steady as possible. Dan's gaze lifted up quickly and he pushed his laptop away, on the floor. "I-I need the blade", I confessed and dropped my gaze to the floor.

"Come here Phil", Dan said and I looked up at him. I sat down on the bed and cuddled up close to Dan. He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me back and forth. "Do you wanna talk?" he asked.

"I feel ugly. I don't know how you can look at me day after day", I said as Dan lay down pulling me with him. "And I don't know why you're with me when you could have someone so much better", I continued and Dan listened stroking my hair.

"You're not ugly, you're beautiful. And I don't want to have anyone else than you. You're my everything and I hope you know that", he said and I smiled a bit. "I really don't want you to think like you're ugly. Everybody knows the truth. I don't want you to think thing like this at all. They're just hurting you and I don't want you to get hurt. I know that you're own mind is what you're battling against, but you need to know that you can win it by confusing it. You need to think happy thoughts", Dan explained. I pulled away and looked at him in the eyes.

"How?"

"Like this", he said smiling and pulled me into a kiss. It was, again, perfect and it did make me think about happy things and it did make me happy. 'Cause that was the moment I realized that I can be happy again and with Dan, I can be happy for the rest of my life.

So here it is, the last part of my second fanfiction! So it's over now and I hope you liked it. This final chapter took me forever to write and my internet wasn't working on this computer but now it is and now I can finally upload this! Than you for all the lovely comments and sorry for all the grammar issues, I'm from Finland... But thank you for reading and I think I will write something for you soon!

-Mari