Red roses mean love

By kimetara

Multipart

Chapter Twenty

          Tifa walked back down the hallway in a daze, having subconsciously decided not to think about what just happened until she reached the security of her room.  It wasn't until she was sitting on her bed that the incident returned in full, clarified detail.

          Dear God...what had just happened?

          Her hand raised automatically to the assaulted shoulder, and she suddenly became aware of the slight sting.  Tifa stood back up, turned the light on, and rummaged through her bag, pulling out a Cure materia.  When it was done, if she peered at it carefully in the mirror she could make out a barely noticeable white scar, slightly raised beneath her sensitive fingertips.  Maybe it would fade with time.  It didn't really matter.

          She changed into her pajamas and returned to the bed, staring down at the torn shirt in her hands.  If it weren't for that, she might have thought it all to be some strange, surreal dream.  Maybe she'd just gotten a scrape working.  But no, there was the torn seam as well.  And...her lips were swollen and slightly tender.  Tifa felt the warmth of flustered embarrassment rush through her, but ignored it, instead turning off the bedroom light and opting for the softer glow of her small bedside lamp.

          Her fingers absently rubbed the peach-colored material as she sat, trying to figure out what happened.  Marianna...had she been right?  And Shera.  Had she been blind to a man's affections again?  Tifa almost groaned.  When would she learn?  Although...it had been a long time, since she thought about such things.  A long time, living in the slums, and then loving Cloud.  She hadn't paid attention to signs of attraction from anybody in years.

          Besides...was that Chaos, or was that Vincent?  Those wings...and his eyes...he hadn't been in control when that kiss happened.  Well of course he wasn't, or else it never would have happened.  Tifa sighed, resisting the urge to rub her temples.  She couldn't tell; Vincent would never tell her anything about Chaos.

          She should go look for him.  But doubtless, he was somewhere outside in the night, and she had no way to find him.  He was impossible to track...and she knew, deep inside, that he would not want to be found.  Not until he himself had come to terms.

          She closed her eyes and sighed again, the memory of his warm breath against her sensitive neck rising unbidden.  The sensation nearly caused her to shiver.

          "Tifa?"

          She blinked her eyes open.  They were tired, no longer focusing quite right.  "Yes?"

          It was Shera.  The older woman walked over and sat on the bed beside Tifa.  "Tifa...is Vincent in bed?" she asked uncertainly.  "I know you took him up, but I could have sworn I just saw him leaving the Highwind..."

          "No, he's not in bed," Tifa replied quietly.

          Shera frowned.  "What happened?"  Her eyes fell on the ripped shirt and widened.  "He didn't..."

          "No," Tifa shook her head hastily.  "It's not like that."

          "Oh, thank goodness," she sighed in relief.  "I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have asked you to take him up.  It's just that Vincent is always such a gentleman-"

          "It's alright," Tifa cut Shera off reassuringly.  "I would have helped him even if you hadn't asked."

          "I see."  There was a pause.  "...did he ever tell you what a red rose meant?"

          Tifa glanced sideways at her friend sitting next to her.  She had been wondering about that.  "No.  What does it mean?"

          Shera sighed.  "It isn't really my explanation to give."

          "Oh."  It was a good thing, Tifa decided.  At least now, she had something to say to Vincent the next time she saw him.  It would hopefully make things easier...hopefully.

          "Shera...do you have any thread?" she asked suddenly.

          "For the shirt?"  Shera stood and nodded.  "Of course.  I'll be right back."

          "Thanks."

          For the rest of the night, Tifa sat and sewed.  The thread was white, as Shera hadn't had any peach thread available, but that was fine – you could only see it from the inside, after all.  She used double-stitching, ensuring its strength.

          The stars had faded by the time she was finished.  When she was done, she gently stroked the soft cotton material, tracing the new stitches.  Securer, more binding than the originals.  Stronger.

          Vincent...

          She had attached herself to him, had made him her anchor.  And he had never failed her.  She had to be careful not to use him, but she needed him...needed him to be there, to care about her.  Her heart wasn't open yet to another love, but his friendship was vital to her.  Still, she wouldn't be a burden...she would never be a burden to her friends.

          To Tifa's mild surprise, she felt tears trickling down from the corners of her eyes, and she hurriedly wiped them away.  She didn't even know why she was crying, except...except for this aching in her chest, warning her how thin the threads were...

          Almost morning.  Vincent opened his eyes and forced himself into a sitting position.  He hadn't slept, no, he'd been in a near catatonic state.  Thinking in nothingness.

          He would return to the Highwind.  If he left now, he knew it would weigh forever on Tifa's soul, despite what he had done.  Too kind.  He would return, show her that he was in good health *hah*, and then take his leave.  It had been a mistake to stay in her companionship for as long as he had.  He would not stay, would not be a danger, not again.

          Depression weighed him, made him wish he could be motionless, could sit there on the ground forever.  Would never have to face her again; wouldn't have to say good-bye, wouldn't have to see the fear and shame in her eyes.  Or maybe...wait for her to come find him.  But he summoned the will to stand, and began the walk to the airship.

          He had been lucky, that the monsters had left him alone.  Had they come after him that night, he would not have provided much of a fight.  Then again, it might have been better had they come after him.

          It'd just mean more work for me, Chaos grumbled.  Of course.  If he was unwilling to fight, his demon could do it for him.  How useful.

          Vincent's morose humor ended at the sight of the Highwind looming above him.  He had walked faster than he wished, but it didn't matter – he would have had to reach his destination sooner or later.

          At least she was waiting for him.

          She hadn't run away when he came into view.  No...she was descending from the Highwind, walking forward to meet him.  His gaze traveled up the length of her body, registering the mended seam, mussed hair, tired eyes.  She still mustered a smile for him.

          "Here."  Tifa tossed him a spare shirt as she walked towards him, which he caught and slowly pulled on.  It was gray.

          "Thank you."  For a brief moment, he paused, steeling his will.  "I will be leaving you now."

          She ignored his comment.  "What does a red rose mean?"

          Vincent stiffened, just slightly, but enough.  "...what do you believe it to mean?" he replied at last.  Doubtless, she already knew, yet it was a confession he was not yet comfortable with.  And why was she asking now?

          Tifa rubbed her eyes wearily.  "That's not what I'm asking.  I want to know what it means to you."

          "Roses..." Vincent looked away.  "They...used to be signs of affection."  Couldn't bring himself to admit it to the open, to her.

          "...okay."  It wasn't the answer she was looking for, but it was good enough.  Enough to reassure her that he cared, that he wasn't doing this out of pity or responsibility.  "Come on, let's go back in before Nanaki starts wondering where we are."

          "You should go.  I am leaving," he repeated.  It wasn't often he repeated anything.

          She gave him an odd look.  "Don't you want to wait to say good-bye to everybody else?"

          "No."

          "I see."  She brushed a strand of hair back from her face.  "Well then, just let me get my stuff and we can leave."

          "Don't be foolish," he reprimanded, sharper than intended.  "You know I mean to go alone."

          Tifa blinked, then chuckled.  "Oh, really Vincent," she smiled, only faintly bittersweet.  "Do you think I'd let you just go off by yourself?"

          "..."  Yes.  Yes, he had.  He had expected her to be frightened, because all others were.  And yet...Vincent realized his calculation held a grave mistake.

          Tifa had never been frightened of him.  And she wasn't now.  She was watching him patiently with those beautiful, altruistic burgundy eyes, waiting for his answer.

          "I am a danger to you," he attempted to explain, already knowing it was futile.  Sure enough, she only shrugged.

          "It's okay.  I'm used to danger," she grinned, then her expression become more serious.  "Honestly, I'm certain I'll be fine.  And if it came down to it...I'd probably be able to defend myself pretty well.  I just didn't want to hurt you," she finished lowly.

          "Besides," it was Tifa's turn to look away, "I trust you more than anybody.  You really are my best friend; I know I can always count on you.  I...I can't give you a rose back, but maybe...in the future..."

          She didn't want to be alone.  He could recognize the pleading in her voice, in her eyes, no matter how she tried to hide it.  Tifa feared only two things – rejection and loneliness.  Or maybe they were only one thing.

          At any rate, it didn't have to be him.  She was asking for it not to be him.  Asking him not to leave her behind.

          Perhaps this was why Cloud had left.  Vincent struggled with himself.  If he proved a danger, he could never forgive himself, but if he left her alone in her fragile state...

          "Is it that difficult?"  Tifa's soft question drew his attention.  She watched him, her expression worn.  "Nevermind.  I didn't mean to put you on the spot.  I'm sorry."

          "Don't apologize."  The words slipped out.  "I should be begging your forgiveness," he added, that rare weariness reflecting in his visage.  Why did there always have to be such conflict?  Why couldn't it ever be simple?

          "It's okay, you know.  I'm not...angry, or disgusted, or whatever you think," she spoke after a moment.  "Why don't you let me make my decision for me?"

          "What do you mean?" he asked.

          "You don't have to feel so responsible for me, Vincent.  I'm not afraid."  Every quiet, deliberate word was dead-on center.

          "...I understand..."  But still, if he was a hazard to her well-being...

          She gave him that odd look again.  "No, I don't think you do."  Tifa abruptly turned her back to him and crossed her arms.  "Leave if you want."  Her tone was flat, completely unlike her.

          So.  He was hurting her even now.  But pain was always a possibility, and while one was certain, the other...maybe it would prove to be all right.  He wanted it to be all right.  And she wanted him to take the chance.

          "I'm sorry."  Her shoulders slumped at his words, and he almost smiled.  "I will continue accompanying you."

          "...you will?"  She hadn't turned to face him yet.

          "Yes."

          Tifa stared down at her shoe, rubbing the toe into the dirt.  "...you won't leave me unless you want to?  I mean," she clarified, "won't leave out of worry for me.  Only if you really want to go."

          "Yes."  Vincent was feeling the strangest sense of amusement.

          "...promise?"  Tifa turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.

          He couldn't suppress the smile this time.  "Yes."

          The rest of the day was fairly uneventful.  Yuffie left in the morning by chocobo with many hibiscuses and jasmines, whining about being the "stupid Mistress of Wutai" and training and many other things the others had already learned to block out.  Cid and Reeve were miserable until about three in the afternoon, but all of them stuck around to cater and cheer them up.  Neither of them could figure out how Vincent had managed to escape the morning after syndrome, and Vincent didn't feel like enlightening them about the side effects of the alterations he had undergone.

          After a few discussions with Shera, Nanaki, and the still-recovering Reeve, Tifa forfeited her flower expedition.  The two week escapade had served its purpose, and now she felt ready to try her hand at returning to normal living, and was ready to go back to Nibelheim.

          It was an unsaid mutual agreement that Vincent would return to his mansion, and she to her home.  They both felt quite strongly the pulls of decency and common sense against living together.  At first Shera was slightly disappointed, but as the day went on it mattered less and less.

          When they had finally dropped everybody off – Reeve in Gongaga with a batch of cheerful flowers, from daises to marigolds, Nanaki in Cosmo Canyon with a few beautiful exotic desert specimens, and Tifa and Vincent in Nibelheim with forget-me-nots and roses – Shera watched from the window as the two walked down the path, spoke for a few moments at the well, then split off to their own respective houses.

          Something had happened the night before, she was sure of it.  She could tell Tifa was distraught when she had come in.  And she had seen Vincent bolting out of the Highwind.  But they seemed to have resolved it all...in fact, mayhap she was wrong, but it the two appeared even closer than before.  Less awkwardness, less caution, more warmth.  A bridge crossed.

          "Do you think they'll ever get together, Captain?" she spoke aloud, wistful.  Cid shrugged.

          "Don't know.  Vince's a hard man."  He exhaled a small smoke ring.

          "Hmm...maybe just on the outside."  Cid 'hmphed' in skepticism, and Shera adjusted her glasses.  "Oh, that reminds me.  Tifa left her present for you.  She said it was on your bed."

          "Alright," he grumbled, standing and heading towards his bedroom.  He still felt a little woozy, $(&#@ it all...how come Vinny got lucky?  "Where is the $)#@% thing..." he muttered, scanning the room.  Oh, there on the bed.  Seemed like something she would do.

          Cid opened the bag and dumped the contents out on the blanket.  A little plush world, a pack of breathmints, highlighters and a few pens, a bottle of pink lotion, chapstick, and popcorn.  He raised an eyebrow, then read the card.

          Happy birthday Cid!

          I wasn't sure about what to get you...after all, you've already got everything you need, right?  Hehe, OK, here's my explanations before you think I've gone crazy.

          The world: I remember when you told me about how the Planet looked just like a little kid that needed to be taken care of.  It really touched me when you said that, and...I just wanted you to remember, since I always will.  What you said kept me going in a tough time, and I want to thank you for that.

          Breathmints: Smoking's bad for you!  =)

          Highlights/pens: Do you still lose these as often as you used to?  Just incase, here are some extras!

          Lotion/chapstick: Stay in touch with your feminine side...just kidding.  I know your skin can get awfully chapped, being in the cold wind for so long, so just incase you ever feel you need it...

          Popcorn: Remember that conversation we had once?  "You've got a hard shell, Cid Highwind, but you're such a softy inside.  Just like popcorn."  "What the ____?  (I forgot which choice expletive it was.)  Popcorn?"  "Yeah!"  You know it's true...  Popcorn Cid!  Don't worry, it'll be our secret.  ^_~

          Well, thanks for everything.  I hope your birthday was fun!  And be sure to visit now and then; after all, we're just a mountain range away!

Love and best wishes,

                   Tifa Lockheart

          Cid grinned as he skimmed the card over, shaking his head.  Tifa was such a sweetheart.  Had an uncanny knack for reading people's emotions too; girl near scared him off with her psychic popping up, asking "you okay?" at just the right moments.  Then again, it was how she managed to wriggle her way under his skin.

          "Like popcorn, huh?" he flipped the package in the air.  "Maybe."

          "Did you say something?" Shera poked her head into the room.

          "...yeah.  Here," he tossed the package over to her, which she caught neatly.  "Make some &@^$# popcorn!"

Final (and long!) Author's Note: Whew, that's that.  Oh boy...I'm gonna get killed for this.  *runs away from pitchforks and torches*

          Er, well, I just couldn't come up with a plausible way for them to get together at the end of only a few weeks to a month right after Cloud's leave-taking (at least not without an overly drastic twist and a pinch of OOCness).  I'm very sorry if I disappointed anybody...

          Speaking of which, I'd like to thank everybody for reading and reviewing!  This story would never have been completed with all of your support (in truth?  I didn't actually like this story in the beginning...but the sheer magnitude of readers made me feel guilty enough to keep updating, and then as my love for the Vincent/Tifa couple revived, it became one of my favorites to work on!).  It's an amazing feeling, to be able to provide enjoyment to such a large number of people, and I really appreciate all of your guys' patience and encouragement!  =)  I know, I don't often show how much these reviews mean to me, but trust me...a good review can cheer me up or kick me back into a fic when all else fails.

          Also...if it interests anybody, I am planning a sequel.  However, as always there is a catch.  Here it is: I'm writing a multipart Rufus/Tifa fic as a school project that will be taking up all of my time, so I probably won't return to the world of fanfiction.net and start working on the sequel until mid-February.  (And then I may not start publishing it until I've completed it, since I've found it a lot less stressing to be able to update regularly without worry, and it's probably a lot nicer for the readers.  It depends though.).  Plus, I'm going to do some serious revision of this story before working on the sequel (many many edits).  So...yeah, it's going to be a while.  *sigh*

          Well, I believe that's everything...once again – thank you for reading!

~ kimetara