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Cristina decided to chalk up the fumbling of her stiff fingers to the cold temperature and the relentless old lock. Teddy loomed behind her, so close she could feel her warmth, like a mother hen. The walk to her apartment had been short, but no less awkward with attempts at light conversation wedged between painful lapses of silence.

"Do you need help?" Teddy asked. Her eyes were half hooded with fatigue, back bent awkwardly from too many sleepless nights on an on-call room's cheap mattress.

"No," Cristina growled out, too agitated to bother to hide the fact. The old, disfigured lock seemed hell bent on denying her access. Her other keys on the ring hit the doorknob sharply causing hard raps to echo down the empty corridor. The ugly designs on the carpet below their feet were stained and reeked of bleach and lemon air freshener.

The door finally swung open after a bit of swearing and angry flicks of the wrists. A cool gust of wind made Teddy shiver as Cristina carelessly tossed her keys into a chipped red dish. She toed off her shoes, beaten up converse, then turned and stared, waiting.

Teddy cleared her throat and looked around, trying to mask her overall discomfort. The apartment smelled old, like a grandma's house filled with odd figurines. Not much had changed since the last time she had been there but little personal items were missing. The green afghan she remembered was gone, along with some books on the bookshelf, and some photos.

"When did Callie leave?" Teddy asked, looking anywhere but the small Asian woman who looked decidedly childlike in her mismatched zebra and tiger stripped socks.

"Not long after you."

The statement hit her like an iceberg between the shoulder blades. She inwardly winced, but allowed her face to remain an expressionless mask. She refused to let guilt overwhelm her.

"Why did you come back?" Cristina's voice was dry, emotionless, with eyes to match. Her head was cocked to the side, genuine curiosity present in her body language and facial features.

Teddy swallowed. Why had she come back? She didn't seem to have a reason anymore. At first it was like she just knew she couldn't function away from Seattle Grace, away from her. She hadn't missed her; she had ached for her. For her body, her fiery cold spirit, the secrets behind those molten eyes that only she and a select few could keep. But she wouldn't tell her that. She had already returned, wings clipped and tail between her legs, sobbing mournfully. Reliving it almost seemed cruel.

"I don't know," she said finally, running her tongue over her teeth. "I just couldn't live without you I guess."

Cristina didn't seem shocked by the admission, or even surprised. Her body language didn't change, nor did her face show any sign of pleasure from the statement. She was just staring at her, eyes empty yet open, mouth a blank line.

"Then why did you leave?"

The question she had feared finally surpassed her lover's beautiful lips, innocent and sad. She swallowed, closing her eyes and moistening her dry lips.

"You should sit down," she whispered, eyes still closed. She heard Cristina sweep past her, got a whiff of her unique scent, cinnamon and something else. Teddy opened her eyes to see her on the couch, knees pulled up to her chest, hair nearly reaching past her shoulders. She absentmindedly wondered when was the last time she got it cut.

She sat on the other end of the couch, afraid of crowding the decidedly jumpy woman.

"We were complicated to begin with," Teddy began, rubbing her itchy eyes. She cleared her throat before continuing. "Do you remember how we got together in the first place?"

Cristina remembered of course. It had been a dirty fuck in the men's bathroom at a dive bar because that one was closer than the women's. Teddy had shoved her tongue down her throat, tasting the slight burn of tequila Cristina had swallowed. They had been pushed against the door, the light bulb long broken, but still smelling the acrid stench of piss and vomit. Cristina had woken up the next day, damn near concussed, to the sound of Teddy retching in toilet.

"I remember."

Teddy nodded, still not looking at her.

"It was…different, we were different." She gave a joyless laugh. "We are different. It took us a long time to simply get comfortable with each other and even then…"

"What's your point?" Cristina was anything if impatient, voice slicing the thick air like a blade. She looked Teddy head on, brown eyes searching for the meaning behind the other woman's words.

Teddy sighed, licking her lips. "I was scared."

"What?"

"I was scared," Teddy repeated, "The shooting had just happened, everyone was mourning, everything was so screwed up. You were barely holding on…"

"So you decided to leave?" Cristina asked, voice tinged with disbelieving anger. Her eyes stung, her fists balled in her lap. Just outside, they could hear a door slam, then hasty footsteps, the ding of the elevator, then nothing at all.

"It was more than that," Teddy said, looking anywhere but the resident. "You needed time to heal and so did I. We weren't good for each other then. You had gotten into drugs and I…. I didn't know how to save you."

They're silent several moments, contemplating each other's words. The hum of the AC rung in both their ears.

"I'm sor-"

"No," Cristina said, stopping her with a shake of the head. "It wasn't fair to you. We were both reeling. I almost died. You had to deal with that and so did I. you're right, we weren't good for each other."

They sat in silence for several moments, chill settling around them like a disconcerting blanket. Cristina began to tremble but whether it was from emotion or coldness, Teddy couldn't tell. Hesitantly she moved closer, inch by slow inch. Her throat felt raw, like she'd just swallowed nails. She coughed. Cristina flinched as an arm was placed around her shoulders, not pulling, just there. She stared into nothingness, vision blurring along the edges, fists uncurling.

"I'm tired," she said finally, wriggling but not shying away from Teddy's slight embrace. She rubbed her bruised knuckles and Teddy watched the action, wondering how they got that way but feeling it would be futile to ask.

"I punched some lockers," Cristina said, as if she knew exactly what Teddy was thinking. She glanced at her sideways, eyes slitting like a cat's.

"Oh," was all the other woman could say. She didn't need to ask why, she already knew. "Let's get you to bed."

On any normal day, Cristina would smirk and make some perverted remark about sex. Yet, as the rain poured down outside, harder and more ragged, she simply didn't have the energy.

She nodded at Teddy, rose unsteadily from the couch, swaying under the effects of vertigo. The blonde steadied her with a firm hand on her shoulder, and a tender spark in her eyes.

They padded silently to the bedroom. Cristina was unabashed by the state of it, merely brushing aside papers and clothes. She sat on her bed and looked up at Teddy, waiting.

The attending swooped down, catching the other woman's lips in a slow, warm kiss. Her warm calloused fingers brushed against the hem of Cristina's top, and with the smallest nod of permission, she pulled it up and off. She did the same with the damp jeans until Cristina was shivering in her bra and panties. The porcelain skin was dotted with Goose bumps but she didn't cover herself, just stared up at Teddy with open, trusting eyes.

She brought her hand to Cristina's cheek, running a thumb over the full lips before dropping to the ground and groping for a clean shirt. She pulled it over the resident's head, smoothing the black tendrils with gentle strokes of her fingertips.

"Come on," Teddy murmured, pushing back the duvet and sheets. "We both need this." That was the truth, they needed sleep, to shut of the thoughts and emotions that seemed to drown them like tidal waves.

She obeyed, crawling slow and animalistic under the covers while Teddy flipped off the lights. Under the veil of darkness, she stumbled over hardback books, ceramic mugs, dirty clothes… A small part of her was relieved that an idiosyncrasy was still intact after everything. She crawled next to her lover, feeling the cool material of Cristina's shirt rub against her skin. She wiggled out of her shoes and jeans, leaving her barelegged and vulnerable in the darkness.

The whites of Cristina's eyes were visible between the shadows, unblinking.

"Close your eyes," Teddy whispered, feeling her own eyelids droop with exhaustion.

The rain still poured against the windows, lightning slicing the night sky, followed by the burning rumble of thunder.

Cristina nodded, allowing her eyes to close and her body to truly sink into the soft contours of the mattress. She could feel fatigue seep into her bones, like a familiar drug entering her veins. She stiffened at the thought, knowing Teddy was only a few feet away from the substance that had singlehandedly destroyed her.

"Sleep," Teddy cooed, slipping into unconsciousness, but the resident already was for the first time in months.

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A/N: Well, this is the latest chapter. The last one should be up soon, well hopefully. Anyway, please rate and review, I wanna know what you think.