An Accidental Husband – Chapter 1

A/N: Bored in the library, Leon Tao makes a single change to a database record, but what was meant to be a joke changes everything for John and Joss.

AU due to the premise, bad IT, bad science and some OOC moments. This story notes events from season one and contains spoilers from season two episodes The Contingency, Critical and Prisoner's Dilemma, but details, timelines and events may vary or unfold differently.

The usual disclaimers: Nothing you recognize belongs to me.

Leon Tao knew he couldn't touch any other financial stuff, but he had to do something – he was stuck in this wreck of a building with a bunch of ramen noodles and a dog.

He'd pulled together the items that Finch and Reese had asked for, but that was hours ago, and Leon was getting antsy – and bored.

All his life he could never sit still – that's what really got him into trouble, he thought. He'd play around a little bit – a million here and there – and all the sudden eight million dollars was gone and a bunch of people were trying to kill him.

You'd think someone would appreciate the crippling blow he'd dealt to the Aryan Brotherhood.

Leon leaned back in the surprisingly comfortable chair. He was alive, he'd made some new friends and they'd let him help on their latest case, just like those two detectives.

Especially that female detective…

She'd shown up out of nowhere, and nailed that monster Titus with that – Leon didn't know what it was, a grenade launcher or something – weapon, cool as a cucumber, her little nod to John Reese like this was normal, like she took down rampaging bull elephants every day.

She'd saved their lives.

And while Leon couldn't see the look John Reese gave her, if his soft voice when he thanked her and the way she stole a glance at him as he walked away didn't say there was something between them, the way the air crackled around them did. It was so strong, so powerful that even Leon, who'd only spent a few moments in their presence, felt it.

Imagine what it must be like to be around that every day. Reese's friend Finch and the other detective probably wanted to lock the two of them together in a room with some booze, a supersized box of condoms and a mattress and let them go at it, until they got it out of their system – or at least got it down to a dull roar.

John Reese was wound very tight, Leon thought – he needed a good lay – hell, that guy probably needed a hundred good lays before he could even begin to relax, and that detective…beautiful and deadly – was just what John needed.

What any guy needed.

Leon's face grew hot as images of John and the detective twined together flooded his mind.

So many positions, so little time…

Maybe he could join them…no…John was into cameras, maybe he could watch…no…big guys like John get tired, maybe then he could watch…she had her own handcuffs, maybe she could -

Leon slapped his own face, hard. "Bad boy, bad, bad boy!" The dog raised his head, looked at him questioningly. "I meant bad Leon, bad, bad Leon."

He leaned forward to scratch Bear behind the ears and after a few moments, the dog lowered his head back down. As he straightened back up, Leon suddenly noticed a file folder partially hidden by a graph on one of Finch's many screens.

Now this was interesting. A whole bunch of aliases for John. Leon scanned through them – the most complete one was for a John Warren – a workplace, an apartment, documents, photos - the works. Leon then hacked into the NYPD personnel databases, quickly scanning through the photos of detectives until he found her. The two would make an impressive couple, he thought, looking at their credentials.

And they were both so pretty.

He typed in a change to the detective's personnel records, then paused, his right forefinger poised over the Enter key. "What do you think," he said to Bear, as he used his cast to nudge another screen with their photos on it towards the dog. "Your new Mommy and Daddy?"

Bear jumped up and he let out a single happy bark, his tail wagging furiously.

Leon pressed the Enter key.

'John Warren' became her husband the day of the fight in the parking garage. It looked like the detective took some time off right afterwards – just enough time for a brief honeymoon.

Leon knew the change wouldn't last - Finch would thoroughly review every file he accessed, scan every report, check every account – but it amused him to think that Reese's boss would see what he'd done.

If they were pissed, it was their fault – they should have given him something else to do.

Now, some more noodles – or maybe some hot pockets.

"Hot pocket, Bear?"

The dog followed him into the next room.

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What Leon Tao didn't know was that the city was testing a new program to facilitate updates to employee records. With hundreds of programs, thousands of databases and millions of files, a small army of staffers was kept busy trying to keep any changes up to date. On any given day there were marriages, divorces, adoptions, guardianships, insurance updates, address changes, performance reviews, etc. – on and on and on with the city's tens of thousands of employees.

For years, efforts had been made to create a master database or at least link the thousands of databases and files together, but the expense and sheer effort was overwhelming. This new program would simply search each database and file, making the changes. Some record updates would be prioritized – medical insurance for example, while others, such as employee discounts at various businesses around the city would come later.

A random group of employees had been chosen as part of the pilot. A memo had been sent out to every city employee, but like all official missives, there was not a verb to be found in the multi-word, multi-syllable sentences, so it was ignored, including by 99.99 percent of the police department. The officers knew that this program wouldn't make it easier to catch perps or put more money in their paychecks, so they didn't waste time reading the memo. In the past any so-called improvements caused more problems than they solved, so the few officers who did read the document waited cynically for the program to fail.

It didn't – the pilot program ran too well, quietly making its updates not just to the prioritized records, but every other record it could find, even after Finch found and corrected the single change Leon had made.

Jocelyn Carter was one of the employees randomly selected for the pilot program.

There were no massive batch updates, new reports run or change control notices filed, which would have alerted Finch. Leon hadn't changed Joss' last name or her home address, which would have alerted the detective.

'John Warren' was quietly added to every relevant record of Jocelyn Carter's, one at a time.

He was now her husband.

TBC