Title: He's A Slytherin

Rating: T (for now)

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter or concepts. That all belongs to J.K. Rowling

Warnings: Some violence and mature language.

Genre: Humor (for now)

Summary: Harry gets shuffled into Slytherin, and yeah, it's not his first choice, or his choice ever, but he's always been good at making a crappy situation into amazingness. Everyone in Hogwarts seems to expect a little four eyed push over…heh, they are NOT correct.

~oOo~

'Oh, okay. So this is how we're playing it. Fine by me.'

Newly Sorted Slytherin Harry James Potter took in all his House Mates with a cool gaze. Professor Snape had just finished his little introduction speech, going over the rules, the high expectations he had academically and socially for his Slytherins, and pretty much giving them all free reign to ostracize Harry.

Weeeeeeeeeeeell fuck him too.

When that nice giant fellow Hagrid had introduced him to the magical world of magicalness that was Hogwarts, Harry's hopes had been high. A brand spanking new school with no Dudley to ruin his reputation, no Dursley's to try and beat on him, and no teachers to assume the worse of him and make school work that much harder. And plus, magic. Hello? Who wouldn't want to study bending the laws of nature? Dumb people, that's who!

And then this happened.

"…everyone knows you don't belong here Potter, so I would watch myself if I were you," Draco Malfoy, the little douche Harry had met in Madam Malkins, yammered on snidely.

Harry let him go on for a few more seconds before swiftly swinging his arm around and punching the blond boy in the face.

The Malfoy heir did a full spin and collapsed to the floor with a solid thunk.

The room descended into stunned silence.

Finally realizing that their Head Hancho was in need of assistance, Crabbe and that other guy charged at Harry from either side. Just at the right moment, Harry bowed, causing the larger boys to bash their heads together. They too, joined their boss on the floor.

'Wow, I thought that only happened in cartoons,' Harry thought with no small wonder.

He turned his attention to the still stunned Slytherins. Clapping his hands together with a huge smile – as if he hadn't just punched the lights out of the most politically influential child in his year – Harry stepped over the bodies and conjured an ornate throne. The casual display of power didn't go unnoticed by the older years, as they gaped at him in shock.

"Why good evening everyone!" Harry exclaimed gleefully. "I don't think we've all been properly introduced. So! My name is Harry Potter; I'm a Half-blood, I like long walks on the beach, I killed a Dark Lord when I was a baby, and if any of you fuck with me I'll rearrange your face."

His fellow First Years seemed to have gone cationic. Some of the older years had started to draw their wands, but with a flick of his Harry summoned them all to him, scattering them behind his chair.

"Also," Harry chirped as if nothing happened, "I don't give a fuck about the points system or detention or getting expelled. So, you know, if anyone still has the silly idea to bother me, I'll be happy to completely ruin any chance of all of you getting the House or Quidditch Cup.

"Wow! That was a really fun chat guys! I think we've really connected, you know? Like on a deep, emotional level." He rose from his chair, disappeared it and the bruises on the three laid out Slytherin's faces. Without so much as a backwards glance, Harry headed for his dormitory.

And that set the tone for the next 7 years.

~oOo~

End Notes:

Just an idea that popped up.

Should I continue? Yes? No? Maybe So? Let me know!