Just a heartbreaking little thing. CoopBoon hurt/comfort. T for violence, angst, and one minor swear.

Disclaimer: Only fanfiction writers torture characters this much.

Hear Me Out

He'd get through it, of course. He always did.

It involved a lot of physical exercise, usually in the Course, and avoiding people even more than usual.

It would pass. Eventually.

Cooper strode down the hall (Back straight, head up, don't make eye contact, watch forBLOOD RUNNING IN LITTLE RIVULETS PAST HIS BOOTS, THE WOMAN SCREAMING, BEGGING HIM - no. Don't think about - chin up, watch the crowd, look busy). People quickened their pace as they passed him, glancing nervously at his sheathed knife out of the corners of their eyes. The mission is over. You've made your report. Go to the Course and PLEASE SIR HELP MY BABY BEFORE THEY COME - stop thinking about it! Go to the Course. No time to think there. Empty your mind -

"William?"

No.

It was Hazel, of course, coming down the hall. She looked so pleased to see him that he felt guilty for not wanting to speak to her. Cooper forced a smile onto his face. "'Lo, Hazel."

"It's good to see you back," she said, beaming. "You were away for a long time."

I'm still therePLEASE SIR HAVE MERCY. "It's good to be back." His voice sounded stilted, even to him. Maybe she wouldn't notice.

But of course she noticed, those damn beautiful eyes never missed a thing. "William, are you all right?"

"Bit tired," he answered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just got here."

She did not look convinced. "Go and get some rest, then. And if...if you want to talk, you know where to find me."

"Right. See you." He could feel her watching him as he strode away. Talk. He couldn't talk about it, not with anyone VYES EMERGING FROM THE TREES, SCENTING THE BLOOD PLEASE TAKE MY BABY PLEASE. The only thing to do was distract himself until he forgot it. Abandon all sleep for a few nights so it wouldn't invade his dreams. It always worked, if always meant sometimes.

The simulation had barely started when he froze. Vyes were peering from the trees, their eyes feral and their twisted muzzles dripping with blood. He gripped his knife, gritting his teeth as images flashed before his eyes. THE NEWBORN WAILING BEHIND HIM AS HE STABBED AND SLASHED AT THE DARK FUR

"Stop!" he yelled. "Stop the simulation!"

The vyes flickered out of existence, and the room went dark.

Cooper stood still in the middle of the small space, cursing under his breath. After a moment he inhaled and straightened up, walking out of the room.

Dales was staring at him, bemused. "Everything all right, Commander?"

Cooper ignored the attendant and stalked past him into the elevator. Pressing the button for the ground floor, he leaned back against the wall as the doors slid shut. It was a long way up from level eleven, but it felt like mere moments. Exiting into the fresh evening air, he took several deep breaths and began making his way towards the Manse. He would take a shower. Lock himself in his room. Meditate. Read. Maybe even sleep, and hope the nightmares wouldn't come. Anything.

What am I doing? Cooper stared at the closed door in front of him, his heart pounding. This was ridiculous. Insane. You're setting yourself up, mate. You know what'll happen. The Agent swallowed. This was the only option left. Nervously, he raised a fist and knocked. Please be asleep, please be asleep.

She answered almost immediately, looking surprisingly awake for this time of night. "William. What can I do for you?"

Help. Please. "Sorry to bother you this late," he began.

"Don't worry about it. I was up reading."

"Right. Um. Ah." He hesitated, embarrassed. "It's just...I was looking for someone...to talk to."

"Come in."

Hazel's room seemed to be a cross between a cabin and a library, with a fire burning merrily in the hearth and an entire upper level devoted solely to bookcases. Cooper sat down in a comfortable armchair, and she took the opposite one, looking at him expectantly. Cooper stared into the fire, unable to make a sound.

After a long moment, she spoke, softly. "What's bothering you, William? I knew there was something on your mind as soon as I saw you in the hall earlier."

He fiddled with his hands, and then, not looking at her: "The mission...I was in Zenuvia." He stopped, unsure, and then continued, prying the words like teeth from his own mouth. "The village I was supposed to go to'd been ravaged. Nothing was left, 'Azel." His accent was thickening, but he plowed on. "Just houses burned to the ground, ashes and such. I seen this kind 'a thing before, but then there was this lady..." He swallowed hard. "Lyin' on the ground with a baby in 'er arms. She was dying. She'd been attacked. 'Ad her kid maybe five minutes before. Got 'urt protectin' it..." He sucked in a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "She begged me to 'elp, to take her baby away...it was cryin' cause its mother was cryin', didn't know what was goin' on, what was...what was gonna happen." Now the words were pouring out of him, desperate to be heard. "I turned around, and all these vyes were comin' out of the trees, ready for blood...I fought 'em. I fought as hard as I could, 'Azel, with the lady behind me screaming that I should take her baby and run, but when the last one went off into the trees an' I turned around...she was dead, 'Azel, and her baby weren't there anymore. I'm not saying...I mean..." he took a shuddering breath. "I don' exactly know what 'appened to it, but I never found it...it was just...I turned around, an' it was gone...I can still 'ear it crying...and the lady begging for me to protect 'er kid...'er voice...I-I can still..." Cooper put his head in his hands, feeling hot tears pressing at the backs of his eyes. NO. You will not cry. You WILL NOT. He sat stock-still, waiting. She wouldn't understand. She couldn't. She'd be repulsed. She'd get that look on her face and stammer out something about how maybe he should go get some rest. And then she'd avoid him. She'd try not to talk to him, duck out of his way in the halls, stare at him across the room in horrified fascination, afraid to get too close. That's right. Keep away from the monster. Everyone keep away. I'm too damn dangerous.

"William..."

He couldn't take it. Standing abruptly, Cooper moved towards the door. "Sorry to bother you. 'Night."

"William!" Hazel followed, catching his arm, and he stopped, closing his eyes in taut anticipation of the worst.

She put a hand on his shoulder, and he could feel her eyes, those eyes, looking at him. Judging him.

"I'm so sorry."

Startled, he opened his eyes as her arms went around him. Just like back in the Workshop, his brain suddenly became unable to process this turn of events.

She pulled back and looked up at him, a tear rolling down her face. "I could never have imagined...I'm so sorry, William. Why in God's name didn't you tell me?"

His bewildered question answered hers. "You don't...you don't think I-I'm a monster?"

Her mouth opened slightly, and she promptly guided him back to his chair and sat down across from him, leaning forward to take his hands. "William Cooper, I will never think you a monster."

"You don't...you're not...?"

She looked him in the eyes, and for a moment the only things in the world were brown and blue. "I can't pretend to understand completely, but I'm not going to leave you alone because of that. I know you too well."

A tiny noise escaped, unbidden, from Cooper's throat. "Nobody...nobody ever..."

"You never talk about your missions to anyone?" Thank God for her perception.

He shook his head. "They can't...they think..." His voice betrayed him completely, and his next words were spoken through tears. "I've scared away too many people."

Her arms went around him again, and he buried his face in her shoulder. "Shhh..." she murmured as he fought to control himself. "It's all right to cry."

"Dales" is just some guy I made up to work on Level 11. Just because.

I realize the mission might not seem bad enough to traumatize someone like Cooper, but I was trying to keep it appropriate for the site.

Thanks for reading, and as we say in my hometown, Don't Forget To Be Awesome!