(A/N): Has anyone heard of Bad Translator? It's a Bing computer program that translates your text multiple times (35 times max!) just to show the common errors that programs like Google translate can make. And of course I had a sudden, overpowering urge to put various lines from Sherlock through Bad Translator and post the results for your amusement. This fic is NOT me farming for reviews, being lazy, or destroying the Mofftiss's script. It's merely here for comic relief-and believe me, some of these lines have morphed into something extraordinarily funny. Oh, you should also be aware that Bad Translator sometimes forgets to change snippets of text back to English, as you'll see below. And of course feel free to review if you'd like more. Enjoy.

-1-

Dinner at Angelo's

John: "You're not a girlfriend?"

Sherlock: "A woman is not really my field."

John: "Good, good, good. Do you have a girlfriend? In the meantime, good."

Sherlock: "Well, you know."

John: "Thus we will be friends."

Sherlock: "I know it well."

John: "And the United States should be very good."

Sherlock: "John the Baptist, I think this might work—"

John: "No—"

Sherlock: "—but—"

John: "You must prove that this music is bad."

Sherlock: "Thanks. Abundanci."

-2-

The Drugs Bust

Sherlock: "Get a room!"

DI Lestrade: "Rejecting evidence stems from the leaves of the plant."

Sherlock: "What is this!?"

DI Lestrade: "It's a child."

John: "This guy is seriously addicted; you're in the right place."

Sherlock: "John."

John: "He said to think you can find happiness on a daily basis, I'm sure."

Sherlock: "John the Baptist, you may not want to exist."

John: "No..."

Sherlock: "How do?"

John: "…You?"

Sherlock: "Shut up. I am not your speurhond."

DI Lestrade: "No. Anderson is my speurhond."

Sherlock: "Anderson? Is this going to be destroyed?"

Anderson: "Oh, I volunteered."

DI Lestrade: "Medicine is much attention. Yes, that is my name."

Sgt. Donovan: "Is this a person eye?"

Sherlock: "Move that back!"

Sgt. Donovan: "They were in the wave of microphone!"

-3-

Severed Head

John: "A head. A severed head!"

Sherlock: "The tea alone for me, thanks."

John: "There is no leader in the fridge!"

Sherlock: "Is there?"

John: "A rocket head!"

Sherlock: ""In other countries, and to give it? I don't care what it is? Produced by Morgo Bart's. Measure the saliva goes after death. See the taxi driver."

John: "Yes."

Sherlock: "A study on the lovely pink. Nice."

John: "I know that pink phone is a woman with a lot of pink. Did you like it?"

Sherlock: "Ummmm, not."

John: "Why not? I believe that you will be satisfied."

Sherlock: "Flattery? Xialuoke ·Xia Locke · Sherlock Holmes will appear within a few seconds the person and stuff. Incredible, amazing, but how much ignorant stuff."

John: "Wait, I didn't mean that—"

Sherlock: "Oh, you meant ignorant and imaginable in a good way! Look, it's no problem for me to sleep with the Prime Minister." (Haha)

John: Or that the council is moving around the sun."

Sherlock: "The second time! But that's not important!"

John: "It's not important to know this information?"

Sherlock: "Well, if you ever do, delete me."

John: "Are you sure you want to delete you?"

Sherlock: "Listen: useful things are my hard drive. Really helpful to fill people's heads with all kinds of nonsense."

John: "But it's a solar system!"

Sherlock: "Oh, Satan! We are home to the national football team of the month and it is a part of this issue."

Should I continue? :)