Chapter 12: YOU SHOULD EAT FRUIT WITH YOUR WIVES

? OSAKA. HIGH SCHOOL. PACKING UP FOR AMERICA. POST BREAKING UP WITH KAZUHA.

BUT I MEAN THAT IN THE FRIENDSHIP WAY. WE'RE NOT TOGETHER. I JUST...DON'T THINK WE'RE GOOD TOGETHER. I MEAN I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING SHUT UP.

I blindly throw my clothes into my suitcase. My plane takes off early tomorrow and I can't wait to get out of here. I'll be in a new place where there's no one I know and new people to meet and no love confessions.

…no love confessions from the one person I feel the best with…

…and no more being that person's best friend.

I slump and stop throwing my clothes. I'll be alone in America. Now that I've effectively ruined my one friendship I have a clean slate. I guess that's fine. I mean not really. I feel like punching a wall and breaking things but whatever I'm used to being on my own. Plus I'm growing up and adults make these kind of decisions, right?

Someone knocks on my door. "Hei-chan, I'm coming in," Mom calls before opening the door. "Good gracious Heiji! I know you're messy but this is ridiculous." She shuffles in and immediately starts picking up some of the clothes that missed my suitcase.

I grumble something.

"Alright, tell me what's wrong. You've been acting weird ever since your graduation ceremony." She sits on my bed. "Plus Emi-san told me that Kazuha's acting differently also."

I stiffen. I keep my back toward Mom. I know my face can't hide my emotions.

"So it's something dealing with Kazuha?" She asks.

I go back to throwing clothes in my suitcase.

Mom sighs. "Fine, don't tell me and stew in your problems. I swear you and your father are too alike." She begins folding some of the clothes I'm packing. "I can't believe you're finally leaving. I told my mahjong friends that you were going to America and they were so impressed."

I stop for a moment. "Were they?" I ask, turning around.

"Oh now you want to talk when someone's complimenting you?" Mom laughs. "Yes they were. 'Wow, Heiji-kun is making some adult decisions!', they said."

"Well, I am an adult now, right?" I ask.

"I guess, but you're only eighteen. I'm still helping you pack." She smiles, gesturing to my suitcase.

I walk over and give her a hug. "You don't have to help anymore," I say.

Mom lets out another sigh. "Whatever you say, Mr. Man, but remember you're my Hei-chan!"

"You're my old hag." I laugh when she ruffles my hair angrily. "Night, Mom," I say as she leaves.

"Goodnight, Heiji." She closes the door.

Right, that's why I'm leaving. I'm a grown up now. Everyone else is doing amazing stuff, why can't I? Even Kazuha's mature… I mean she said she loved me. Love is an adult thing, right? Right?

I finish packing and set my suitcase by the foot of my bed. I check my desk to see if there's anything I forgot. On the back corner of my desk there's a small picture of me and Kazuha as kids. We're at a theme park and we're both wearing ball caps that have ears on them. The hats were two big for our heads. I stare at it. We're grinning at the camera hugging each other.

She's better without me, right?

Right.

12:50 P.M. KAZUHA'S APARTMENT. SITTING AT THE DINING TABLE WITH A LAMP POINTED AT MY FACE. UNCLE TOMOYA WASN'T KIDDING ABOUT INTERROGATING ME.

One would say that Uncle Tomoya and my dad love their jobs too much, but that person isn't me because I'm already in enough trouble as it is. I would like a quick and painless death, thank you very much.

Uncle Tomoya sits across from me once again smiling as if we're at a goddamn picnic social or something. "Comfortable?" he asks.

"Is there an answer that will get me out of this?" I ask. There's no harm in trying right? "I am very comfortable if that helps me get out of this."

He just laughs, turning to my dad who is standing behind him. "He's hilarious," he tells Dad.

"I know. I have no idea where he gets it from," Dad responds. While I'm happy that my dad is self aware that he has no funny bone in his body, I would be MUUUUCH happier if he stopped this from happening.

Uncle Tomoya turns back to me. "Heiji, Heiji, Heiji..." he says with a deep sigh. "I never thought I would see you in a place like this."

"…in your daughter's apartment…that you allowed me to enter…?" I ask slowly.

"His mouth is something he got from you," Uncle Tomoya tells Dad.

Dad grins. "A Hattori isn't a Hattori if he's not a smart ass," he says. Well I'm glad my terrible attitude toward the world is genetic.

"What I mean is," Uncle Tomoya starts again, "that I never thought you wouldn't be dating my daughter."

"Oh…" is all I can say because what else can I say to that?

"I mean, we were all thinking it would happen," he continues. "If I were a betting man, I would've put a million yen for your and Kazu-chan's relationship. I would be in serious debt right now!" Way to sound like a James Bond villain, Uncle Tomoya. I'm starting not to feel as scared for my life as I did before. It's sorta setting in that I'm just in my best friend's apartment with her and my dad who are off work and wanted to play Good Cop/Bad Cop over my relationship problems.

God…I don't know if this makes my life look weird or theirs.

"Even my subordinates would ask if you two got together!" Uncle Tomoya tells me as if this is not the weirdest thing for policemen to talk about. Yeeeaaah definitely weirder for them more than it is for me.

"I'm glad crime is at an all time low that policeman can talk about two young adults," I say.

"We're good at our jobs, son," Dad replies, now sitting at the table.

Uncle Tomoya nods. "Damn straight," he agrees.

THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY KAZUHA AND I ARE THE TALK OF THE POLICE STATION. DO YOU GUYS NOT HAVE LIVES OF YOUR OWN TO FIGURE OUT?

"And yeah you two can be friends, but I just never thought you'd be the one that hurt her the most," Uncle Tomoya sighs.

Oh god. I knew this was gonna be like the boss battle of this topic but damn I'm feeling even worse about everything.

"But that's beating a dead horse," Uncle Tomoya chuckles. "Just like your dad, you know how to fix your mistakes." He leans back in his chair. "Somehow I can't stay mad at you two."

Dad shrugs. "It's the Hattori charm."

"Our charm is ruining the good things we have in life and being accepted for ruining said good things?" I ask him.

"Exactly," he says.

"How has our bloodline survived this long?" I ask, moving the lamp out of my face. I feel like the interrogation is over now. Thankfully this Hattori charm still works.

"No one knows, son," Dad answers. "No one knows."

Uncle Tomoya laughs. "It's great seeing you though, kid. You look healthy and happy," he says before dramatically swinging the lamp to shine in my face again. "Now tell me everything you know about this tennis boy," he mutters as he leans over the desk with a grimace.

"WHY ARE YOU MARRIED TO THE JOB?" I exclaim.

"Kid, c'mon doing interrogation stuff is hilarious outside of work," Uncle Tomoya turns to Dad. "Right, Heizo?"

"Damn straight," Dad nods.

I groan. "Why can't you guys be normal middle aged people and like…eat fruit or something?" I sigh in my hands. "Please eat fruit with your wives."

I'm literally begging them to eat fruit. What has my life become in this moment? Also why the hell would Uncle Tomoya ask me about Teruaki? Doesn't Kazuha tell him about her…boyfriend?

I ask him this. It's not like this situation can't get any weirder. "Also he was your next door neighbor. You should know him," I add.

"True, but all I remember is the phrase 'am I right' for some reason…" Uncle Tomoya says.

I'm surprised I find this more saddening than hilarious. I mean it is hilarious that literally people only remember Teruaki's catch phrase more than his personality. But geez I didn't think he was that forgettable.

"With that being said," Uncle Tomoya moves the lamp out of my face, "Got a mission for ya, kid." He grins at me.

I have a feeling it's something awful.

"I want you to get to know the guy for me. You two were friends before so you can be friends again!" He laughs.

I fucking knew it. "Can't you literally ask your daughter to talk to you about her boyfriend? It's not like I'm dating him. I already have Kudo as my rebound and possibly Kaito if I'm wearing a wig."

Dad sits up at this. "Choose the Kurobas—the story Aoko-kun wrote was really entertaining," he says.

I sigh loudly. "Dad I'm going to take you reading erotic fanfiction about me and my roommates written by said 'Aoko-kun' as being a supportive father to stop myself from having a migraine." I rub my temples.

"Now I wanna hear it," Uncle Tomoya says.

"YOU SHOULD EAT FRUIT WITH YOUR WIVES!" I exclaim, covering my face. My life is just a train wreck. This is my destiny.

"And to be clear this isn't about me being a helicopter parent," Uncle Tomoya says. "It's more like reminding you what's important. It's been years since Kazuha spoke about what she's doing, you know? She's happy."

For a brief moment, the intimating cold shield Uncle Tomoya has lowers and he actually looks like a dad that's relieved over his only daughter. This sorta puts things in perspective. The Kazuha I knew growing up is gone. That makes sense since I'm not the same person I was when I was eighteen. In doing so we have to recognize what makes each of us happy. And even though he pisses me off, Teruaki is someone that is a part of her happiness.

Ugh…now I have this weird feeling to like…know what he's like. I mean I know I'd be annoyed as hell but I want to be a better friend.

Before I could say anything, there's the sound of talking by the door. It unlocks and Kazuha walks in with our moms in tow.

The three of them stare at us. Mom sighs and shakes her head at Dad. I agree Mom. Kazuha's mom smiles at me.

"Long time no see Hei-chan!" She happily waves.

I wave back. "Hey, Aunt Emi," I say. "Your husband interrogated me."

Kazuha narrows her eyes at her dad. "Are you kidding me, Dad?"

"It's my life's work, Kazuha," Uncle Tomoya replies, turning off the lamp.

Aunt Emi walks over to her husband and pinches his cheek. "You said you were going to be nice to Hei-chan, Mr. My Life's Work," she snaps before giving me another smile. "Hei-chan, you can ignore my idiot husband."

"Seriously," Kazuha sighs. She sits next to me and hands me a small bag filled with dog cookies. They're spotted dogs with iced fireman hats on their heads. "Chocolate chip Dalmatians," she tells me when I eat one.

"I'm going to lose my abs," I tell her in the middle of my chewing. These are ridiculously good. I'm trying so hard not to eat them in three seconds.

She laughs. "When we left Sera said they're planning to make triple fudge brownie poodles."

"Kazuha," I tilt my head back as I imagine the deliciousness of those brownie poodles, "my summer bod can't handle this."

"Hey, when I first started working at the café I had to increase my gym hours. You can do it too."

Ugh but I hate the ggggyyyymmmmmm…..

"Do I get cookies?" Uncle Tomoya asks.

Kazuha crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at her dad. "It depends on what weird stuff you were telling Heiji."

"I didn't say anything…weird per se…" Uncle Tomoya begins.

I point my half-eaten cookie at him. "Not only did he mention 'The Confession' but he also talked about how he and my dad apparently had bets if we would date or not."

Kazuha flushes, scowling at her dad. "Dad! Are you kidding!?" She starts scolding Uncle Tomoya and between you and me her face is really cute right now. Like seeing her…angrily embarrassed is really funny to me but in the 'haha she's making a cute face way'. God I feel like I'm so out of touch with romance that I don't know if I can actually describe anything I'm feeling.

IS THIS WHAT A CRUSH IS? FUCK IT'S AWFUL.

Dad reaches over to grab a cookie from Mom who raises them out of his reach.

"No cookies for you either, Mr. Gossip-At-The-Water-Cooler," Mom says.

"Technically we gossip in the break room—" Dad gets interrupted by Mom's scolding.

I hear a small chuckle next to me. I look up to see Aunt Emi giving me a warm smile. She has a couple of gray hairs in her bob haircut but other than that she doesn't look like she aged since I left.

"To think she chews him out more than I do…" she says, gesturing to Kazuha. "But it's good to see vitality in her again."

"Yeah," I say softly.

Aunt Emi ruffles my hair. "I missed having you around Hei-chan. I'm glad you're back! Did you find what you were looking for?"

I blink in confusion at the question. "I wasn't really looking for anything, Aunt Emi. Just doing the ol' college thing, you know?"

She shrugs. "Everyone's looking for something. The annoying thing is we don't know we were until we find what we needed," she says. "When your mom first told me you were leaving for America, I thought, 'Ah, Hei-chan is figuring out what he wants'."

I chew on the rest of my cookie, thinking about the night I was packing for my flight to America. "I was defintitely trying to figure out stuff…" I finally answer.

Aunt Emi nods. "Mhm! And a change in scenery always helps you 'figure out stuff', as you say. You find out you missed something you had or want something completely different than what you first thought." She grins and ruffles my hair again. "But don't let this old lady make you worry. You and Kazu-chan are still young! You need to do fun stuff while you can!"

Something I missed, huh?

I look back at Kazuha who is still fuming at her dad. Haha there is a sense of de ja vu as I've seen her fuss at Uncle Tomoya for years. Is it weird to say that I'm reminded of how she was before I left? Kazuha has always been energetic and while she still has that now, she's quieter than usual. Of course, everyone's been telling me that haven't they? Kaito and Aoko said she spent her times alone on the roof, she snapped at Ran just for mentioning me, and now she's dating Teruaki. Hell, he even said that she's acting different now that I'm back.

Is Kazuha searching for something? I wonder what it could be…but she may have found it with Teruaki. Ugh I feel myself pouting now. Crushes fucking suck.

"Kazu-chan, Shizuka-chan, I think you chewed out those old coots of policemen long enough," Aunt Emi laughs.

"You make a fair point, Emi-san," Mom says. "They'll do something else stupid on the way back home."

"Exactly!" Aunt Emi nods. "Kazu-chan, I meant to say this earlier, but your hairpin looks really nice!"

Mom clasps her hands together with a big smile of her own. "I noticed it too! It's very a pretty green."

"Did Teruaki-kun buy that?" Aunt Emi asks.

It takes every fiber of my being not to let out the loudest and smuggiest laugh ever. As if Teruaki would have enough taste in his body to find a gift like that. I have all the taste! I'M TASTY—no that doesn't sound right.

Kazuha smiles brightly, bringing her hand up to play with the hairpin. "Actually, Heiji bought this for me."

I gulp when her bright smile turns toward me. Ohh man I feel my face heating up again. I ignore Mom's mischievous grin.

"Huh I'm surprised you actually have an eye for nice things," Dad says, completely ruining the moment.

"You say this as if you don't ask for my help every time you need to buy something for Mom," I reply. "See? If you ate fruit with your wife, you'd have good taste also."

Kazuha snickers at me. "What the hell—heck—kinda phrase is that, Heiji?" Ah I see she has to curb the swears too.

"A good one," I say.

Aunt Emi lets out a small sigh. "I suppose we'll get out of your hair now."

"You guys can stay the night. I don't mind," Kazuha tells her mom.

"That's very sweet of you, Kazuha-" Mom says.

"She wasn't going to let you and Dad stay over," I interrupt.

Mom talks over me. "THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU, KAZUHA. However, we already made some plans. We're all staying at a hotsprings outside of Tokyo."

"The bus we have to take is late. So we decided to find you kids," Dad says, taking a cookie from my bag and eating it.

"Only you would make visiting sound like a waste of time." I roll my eyes.

Kazuha chuckles. "Either way, it was nice seeing you Uncle Heizo."

Dad opens one of his eyes to peer at Kazuha. She smiles at him. He goes back to his usual 'eyes-practically-closed' squint. "…it's nice to be seen," he says.

"Gross, is this how you would be if I had a sister?" I ask him. I immediately start laughing when he starts glaring at me. One of my greatest joys is calling my dad out whenever he's actually feeling emotions. We're lovable jerks to each other.

Uncle Tomoya checks his watch. "Well we better get going—the bus will be coming in about twenty minutes."

"Kazuha and I can walk you guys to the station," I say, getting up.

Kazuha gasps, clapping her hands. "Before you go let's take a picture!" She gets her cell phone out of her back pocket. "It's been a while since we've all been together."

We all position ourselves in a group as Kazuha raises her phone to get the perfect shot.

She beams. "Alright! Say cheese!"

She takes three different pictures before she's satisfied. After scrolling through them she shows us the best one. The six of us are all crowded together—Dad and Uncle Tomoya in the back, Mom and Aunt Emi in the middle, and Kazuha and I are in the front. Everyone's smiling except for the two old guys, but that's because they're old guys who don't eat fruit with their wives.

Yes, I love that phrase now.

Looking at the six of us, it does make feel all nostalgic. You know how sometimes nostalgia just feels like you ate a big ol' bowl of soup and your belly is warm and you feel like sleeping? That's how I feel right now.

America was cool, but I'm happy to be back home.

Also…now I really want soup.

1:30 P.M. AT THE BUS STATION. SAYING OUR LAST GOODBYES. WHEN I ASKED ABOUT THEIR, MOM SAID, "HEI-CHAN, WE CAN SHIP OUR BAGS BEFORE WE ARRIVE PLACES. THE FUTURE IS SCARY—OUR BAGS CAN VACATION BEFORE US."

"I know you're joking, but I kinda wish the people at the hot springs dress your suitcases in yukata as if they were vacationing just to scare you," I laugh.

Mom swats at me. "Heiji, you're not easing my worries."

"Is that why you took your sword back?" Also I can't wait to hear how people react to her just having a sword casually while riding the bus.

"I'm taking it back because you stole it, not because I'm wary of ghosts," she says. "I live with two mystery lovers; I know that they don't exist." Says the lady holding her sword close.

Dad shrugs. "We've been arguing over whether ghosts can feel pain the entire train ride over here."

I start cracking up. Of course they did. Mom isn't afraid of most things since she knows how to fight, but anything supernatural is terrifying for her. I guess because it's not based in reality. Heh, this should also explain why she's nervous about the idea of her luggage vacationing. Anything personified isn't good for Mom's health.

"Heizo!" Mom flushes. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

Dad shrugs again. "I knew Heiji would find it funny."

"I do," I say with a grin.

Mom lets out a sigh. "What am I supposed to do with you two?" she says with a smile of her own. "Well, we should be on our way. It was nice seeing you, Heiji."

"Yeah, same here," I say. "Hope you enjoy your trip."

"Work hard," she says.

"I will."

"Clean your room."

"Got it."

"Wash behind your ears."

"Done and done."

"Don't spend too much," Dad adds.

"I'll pretend my debit and credit cards don't even exist," I say.

"Fill your fridge with food," Mom says, crossing her arms. "I didn't teach you how to shop and cook for nothing."

"I'll shop this weekend for the bulk sales."

"Good boy," she nods before smiling. "And keep being romantic," she says.

I nod. "Yep, yep—wait what?" I stop nodding. "WHAT?" I repeat louder, causing the Tomoyas to glance in our direction. They've been having a long goodbye too a couple feet away from us.

Oh god, my face is so red.

"You heard me, Mr. Buying-Gifts," Mom says. Her smile is now a teasing grin. She tries to be polite and cover it behind her hand.

"Ugh, please leave so the embarrassment can stop," I groan, pushing them toward the bus.

Mom laughs at me and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before she gets on the bus. Dad ruffles my hair and give me a couple pats on the back.

"Did you know phones are used to call people?" He asks me.

"I'll call more, Dad," I say. Yes, it's very easy to understand Heizo-Japanese. "Did you know I like souveniers?"

He chuckles. "I'll buy something for you." He ruffles my hair hair again and gets on the bus.

Kazuha gives her parents one last hug. Aunt Emi and Uncle Tomoya give me a wave before heading on the bus. Uncle Tomoya uncharacteristically winks and gives me a thumbs up and I let out a noise of disgust. I don't even want to know what that was supposed to mean. Knowing him it's about me getting to know Kunisue or whatever. I walk over to Kazuha as the bus drives off.

She smiles at me. "We got some crazy folks, huh?"

"Tell me about it. My mom wants to stab ghosts," I say.

"That explains why Mom asked if ghosts could feel." Aunt Emi, don't get involved with my mom's superstitions. "Hey, you wanna go to Mako's place?"

"Rad," I say. Nothing better to round out this nostalgia day with the best pretend brother in the world. "What about work?" I clocked out when I met up with my folks, but I never said if I was going to come back or not.

"Never fear, I got our backs. We both have a half day today, but we'll be working full days the next two days," Kazuha tells me.

"Double rad."

Kazuha glances at one of the shop windows we pass by. She quickly fixes her hair. "Ah, I'll have to get a trim soon…" she mumbles.

"You look good with short hair," I say. Whoops. I meant to just think that, but hey a compliment is worth saying aloud.

Kazuha turns to me a bit surprised before chuckling and playing with the ends of her hair. "Really? Thanks, Heiji. When I first got it cut, a lot of people didn't recognize me," she says. "Sachiko and Ayama were completely floored."

"I bet, but change is good."

"Says the guy that has the same haircut since he was five."

"Kazuha, I can't help this hairstyle makes me a 35 on a 1 to 10 scale."

She grins at me. "Does 10 signify really vintage?"

I playfully elbow her which makes her laugh. Hearing the sound makes me smile too. "You saw me in that wig when I was forced to be Manko. I look unfortunate with long hair."

"I heard Kaito thought otherwise," she says.

I groan. "Kaito and his fiancé are gonna be the death of me one way or another."

She laughs again and we fall into comfortable silence. Despite walking to Makoto's restaurant a few times, I feel like I've been going there forever with Kazuha. Man this nostalgia-soup feeling is not going away soon.

"It was nice seeing your folks again Heiji," Kazuha tells me as we round another corner. She looks down at the ground as she walks beside me. There's a small smile on her face. "Felt like home."

"Yeah," I say. I'm glad she also had the nostalgia-soup.

She snickers. "I hope Dad wasn't too hard on you."

I sigh loudly.

"Oh god he was wasn't he?" She asks, pulling out her phone. "I have a right mind to call him right now and—"

"No, spare him," I tell her. And by him I mean me more than Uncle Tomoya.

"What did you guys talk about?" She asks.

"Nothing much," I say. One can't say, 'Hey your dad wants me to be a good pal and get to know your boyfriend' after all. Granted he didn't need to threaten me. I want Kazuha to be happy just like anyone else. "Nothing I don't already know," I rephrase, a little bit softer than before.

She gasps loudly over what I just said. WOW WHAT'S THE POINT OF GIVING OUT SUBTLE HINTS? "THEY HAVE THE NEW ALPACA PLUSHIE IN HERE! THAT'S SO UNFAIR!" She exclaims as she makes a beeline to the arcade we're walking by.

I follow her inside and the ringing of several game jingles blares in my ears. Boy, it's been a while since I've heard this. There are mostly teens playing the games at moment with some couples walking around here and there. The crane game is near the entrance and Kazuha is practically hugging the machine.

I can't help but laugh at her pressing her face in the glass of the crane game. I look over her shoulder and see the damn thing is filled wither several alpaca plushies. "Do you want me to try and get it?" I ask.

My eyes widen.

WAIT. SHOULD I ASK THAT? ISN'T THAT A BOYFRIEND OR A BEST FRIEND THING TO DO? WOULD A BEST FRIEND GET THEIR OTHER BEST FRIEND THAT THEY HAVE A WEIRD CRUSH ON AN ALPACA PLUSHIE? WHY IS LIFE SO MUCH HARDER NOW. THIS CRUSH CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL.

"No need, Heiji," Kazuha gets change from her purse and puts them in the game, "I get all of my plushies myself so I can feel the rush of winning." She leans close to the game with her brow furrowed.

I let out a small breath of relief. Thanks Kazuha for unknowingly saving me from my personal hell and making me worry about how many alpaca plushies you own.

The first time she just missed the new plushie she's aiming for. It's a rainbow colored alpaca that has a polka dot bow around it's neck. Kazuha grumbles as she gets more change and puts it in the game. She sighs when she has to pull out a small ziplock bag filled with yen coins. KAZUHA HOW FREQUENTLY DO YOU PLAY THIS GAME. HOW MANY ALPACAS ARE IN YOUR ROOM?

The big question is…where did she hide them when I wasn't in there? I've been in her apartment twice and I didn't see any of them.

"Did you go to the arcade in the US?" she asks before sticking her tongue out in concentration.

"Yeah sometimes I did. I mostly went with Ran and Kudo," I answer. "Luckily where we were in California there were a lot of arcades. Apparently, there's not many in America."

"That sucks," she says before pressing the button to launch the crane. We both watch with bated breath as it reaches down toward the rainbow alpaca.

"You sure you got it?" I ask.

"Heiji, I'm as sure as your love for coffee," she says. Damn, that's pretty sure.

We gasp when it grabs the rainbow alpaca. The crane slowly rises back up and begins moving over to drop the prize in the slot.

"Come on, you piece of shit do the right thing," she mutters under her breath.

I snicker. "Does cursing out the machine help?"

The crane drops the alpaca in the prize slot.

"HELL YEAH IT DOES!" Kazuha jumps up and down letting out a whoop before reaching to get her prize from the slot. "COME HERE YOU RAINBOW CUTIE!" She cheers as hugs the plush tightly.

Some people glance in her direction as she continues gushing about her new prize. Kazuha pulls out her phone and takes a selfie with it. She looks over to me with a big smile.

"Get in the picture too, Heiji," she says.

"You sure?" I ask as I get in the shot. "I honestly didn't think you'd get it." I fix my hair some as I look at the phone.

"Yeah," she grins, "Gotta document the dummy who didn't believe I'm superior to him in every way."

"Wow." I quickly flick off the camera just as she takes the picture.

Kazuha bursts out laughing. "I knew you'd react to that," she says looking at the photo. "I'll post this to Twitter later."

"Go ahead," I shrug. "But now that I think about it, I guess you're right." I start walking out of the arcade. "You do surpass me as an ahou after all."

"Ahou!" She says behind me. I look over my shoulder and see her grinning. She gestures to the DDR machine at the back of the arcade. "You're an even bigger ahou if you're going to leave the arcade without playing DDR."

I'm not telling her this, but she's right. I can't believe I was about to leave without playing the greatest dance game in existence. Kazuha follows me as I practically push people out of the way to reach the DDR machine. I haven't played it in so long.

"It's been so long, old friend," I tell the DDR machine.

"Should I leave you two alone?" Kazuha asks.

"No, because we're playing this game and I'm destroying you." I get in my spot.

Kazuha gets in hers. "Wow, what a big game you're talking for someone who always lost."

"QUOTE THE RAVEN, 'NEVERMORE KAZUHA'!" I shout, already selecting what song we're dancing to.

She laughs loudly and honestly it made me so excited that I wasn't paying attention when the game started. I don't remember which one of us got the other into playing DDR but it's something we always did after school or during school breaks. When I say we spent too much time at the arcade, I mean the owner of the arcade had to tell us that he was closing one time. We literally stayed at the arcade for like five hours playing DDR.

Of course when I left for America, I made sure to visit the arcade to keep up my skills. Ran and Kudo would come along with me, but they preferred watching. Ran liked recording me play and Kudo enjoyed yelling 'NERD' behind me. I liked flipping him off as I made my 300 combos. Makoto would join us whenever we had a martial arts meet, but the crowd always made him nervous.

Right now, Kazuha and I are in sync as we dance to Kimono Princess, one of Kazuha's favorites. She's still holding her alpaca plushie. While it was fun to play with Ran and Kudo, it is much more fun to play with Kazuha since we're complete addicts to this game. What's annoying about playing with Kazuha is that since she's also addicted to this game, she rarely misses or has bad timing. At the end of the of the round we're both heaving for air.

"God, it's so crazy that's only like a minute…" I say between breaths.

Kazuha leans on the back rail, fanning herself. "I know, right?" she says.

Our scores are tallied: Kazuha has 215 and I have 214.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!" I scream as Kazuha victory dances. "WHAT WAS THE ONE POINT OFF FOR!?" I check the screen to see what fuckery is happening here. I WAS ACTUALLY PERFECT.

"Ohh," Kazuha points at my side of the screen. "You got an OK and I didn't. You always had weird timing."

"This is actual bullshit," I mutter.

Kazuha pats my back. "I know what will make you feel better, Heiji," she says. "Sunkiss Drop."

"YES," I blurt out.

One day after school Sachiko and Ayama joined us at the arcade. They were watching me and Kazuha and one of them said we should join a couples competition. Hey, I remembered their names! I'm getting better!

"I hope I still remember everything," I say as Kazuha chooses the song.

"I'm sure you do, Heiji," she tells me as we wait for the song to start.

So Kazuha and I spent a lot of time practicing one of the hardest and one of our favorite songs, Sunkiss Drop. We didn't just perfect the routine on one side of the screen. No we decided to be extreme and memorize both sides so we could easily move across the whole board. We even had like cool jumps and stuff planned! But the competition was after a martial arts tournament and Kazuha and I were so tired that we slept through the DDR competition. What was worse is that Sachiko and Ayama actually went to the competition and were really upset we didn't show.

Just to let you guys know, we still remember it. I guess you can get a man away from DDR, but not DDR away from the man.

…that sounded cooler in my head.

Some of the people in the arcade are looking in our direction. I can't tell how many as I'm too focused on the screen, but from the sound of things, there's a small handful of people. There's something about hearing all of the music of the other arcade games and general buzz of people talking that's so great about arcades. Like you'd think you'd get a headache from it, but it's just a room full of people having fun.

And speaking of fun, this is probably the best fun I've had in a looooong time. I hear Kazuha laugh beside me and it makes me laugh too. I can't help but remember us playing after our club meetings and then walking home even more tired than we were before. It sounds weird, but it was a good kinda tired.

When we finish the song our scores are identical—303. We hear some clapping and a whistle. Kazuha turns around and beams at the person behind us. There's only a couple of people that can make her react like that. I know Makoto's at work today so that means it's…

"Kunichi," Kazuha hops down and walks over to her boyfriend. "How long were you watching us?"

Teruaki greets Kazuha with a hug and a peck on her forehead. Restrain from feeling anything, Heiji. This is a test of endurance.

"I was actually on my way to your place, and then I heard Heiji swearing as I passed by," he says giving me a wave. "I remember I had to walk you home a couple times because you guys stayed here for hours. You guys are crazy for this game, am I right?"

Oh yeah…he did come by sometimes didn't he? I suppose I blocked it out LIKE I BLOCKED OUT HIS ENTIRE EXISTENCE. But alas, he's here…dating Kazuha. And she's happy.

Neat.

"Yo, Teruaki," I finally decide to greet him. "We were going to Mako's place to eat. You can join us if you want," I say.

Both Kazuha and Teruaki look at me as if my head suddenly turned into a snake's. A part of me wants to say I know how to be a nice person, but I don't feel like it.

Kazuha smiles. Ugh, it's one of those 'I'm proud of you' smiles. "Wanna join us? You had tennis practice earlier, right? I'm sure you're hungry. Plus you can hang out with Mako too."

"Sure. I never met him yet, am I right?" He tells Kazuha before turning to me with a grin. "You're okay with me coming along?"

I roll my eyes. "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't," I say, getting off the DDR machine and start heading out of the arcade.

I take out my phone and start texting Makoto.

Me: BROTHER MAKO KAZUHA AND I ARE HEADING TO YOUR RESTAURANT AND AM I RIGHT IS WITH US AND I'M USING YOU AS A FUNNEL TO SCREAM.

His response is a simple one.

BroMako:…well at least you're honest.

"Aw man, this is a real treat, am I right?" Teruaki says as we wait to cross the street. "It's like the old days when we walked home from school."

Gross of all the memories to bring up why that? I remember feeling highly irritated each time he hung out with us. "No nostalgia soup for you," I tell him.

"What's that, Heiji?" he asks as we cross the street.

"Nothing," I grumble.

He laughs. "You're always hip with the new thing, am I right?"

Oh my god I'm about to have a migraine.

Kazuha is in between the two of us. "Never mind Heiji," she says. "I'm just glad that we can hang out like we used to. It's like nothing changed!"

"Well some things have changed," Teruaki replies, taking Kazuha's hand in his.

I take out my phone as we start crossing the street.

Me:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BroMako: You know, I'm glad you warned me beforehand.

"How's tennis?" Kazuha asks her boyfriend.

"Today was the final practice before a break," the boyfriend says. "I know I've been out of the picture for a bit, but we can finally chillax, am I right?"

Of course he uses the word 'chillax'. Who is he, Genta?

The boyfriend leans down to peck Kazuha's cheek. "Thanks for being patient with me," he says.

Boyfriend. What a phrase. Remember when I was annoyed about Kazuha getting too chummy with Hakuba? Man how time flies. I decide to reminiscence with the Tin Man.

Me: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss when you were my main problem.

RobotHawkPrince: Well, that's one less paycheck to process this week.

Me: You're my friend too, buddy.

RobotHawkPrince: WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

Kazuha blushes. "You don't have to thank me…" she mumbles.

"'Course I do!" Teruaki says. "I was gone longer than usual thanks to weather delays at the tournament."

"Yeah, but you called so it wasn't like you weren't there," she says. "But I'm glad you're here now." She smiles at him.

My eyebrow twitches. Did they forget that I'm here? HAVE I, THE GREATEST PERSON ALIVE, BEEN FORGOTTEN?

Me: I'm gonna do something stupid.

BroMako: While I think it's commendable you're telling me this, I know you're not going to read my message fully to stop you and are already doing whatever the 'stupid' thing is.

"ON NO YOUR ROOTS ARE SHOWING," I yell loudly.

Teruaki immediately reaches up to touch his hair. "Wait, really!?" he whips his head to me. Huh, I didn't think he was self conscious about that kinda thing. I was just trying to get his attention.

HAHA GO ME!

"Are they?" He bends his head down for Kazuha to see.

"I mean, they are, but I don't think it's nothing to fuss over," Kazuha says with a shrug. "Your hair kind reminds me of a pudding cup whenever it's like this. I think it's kinda cute."

Teruaki immediately brightens, his cheeks reddening. "Oh! Well, I'll push off redying it a little while longer," he chuckles before grinning at me. "Nice one, am I right?"

NO IT'S NOT. HOW THE HELL DID THAT BACKFIRE?

2:00 P.M. KYOGOKU FAMILY RESTAURANT. MAKOTO, MY SAVING GRACE, DECIDED TO SIT WITH US BECAUSE HE KNEW I NEEDED THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.

"The lunch rush is over," Makoto replies. "And I haven't sat down in a couple of hours."

THAT'S CODE FOR HE KNEW HE NEEDED TO BE HERE.

But he's right, aside from our table, there's only two other tables full at the moment. I can only imagine the lunch rush is like here. Ours is crazy and we only make drinks. I can't even being how crazy it can be serving actual food.

"Oh geez," Kazuha says between bites of her fries. "I feel kinda bad for having you serve us…"

Makoto shakes his head as he leans back in the booth. "It's alright Kazuha," he says. "It's my job. Plus seeing you here makes me happy."

"Mako, please warn someone when you're going to be really honest," she says covering her face. "I had the urge to sob happy tears, but I don't want to cry over my fries."

"I can't believe you just ordered a plate of fries, ahou," I say as I eat my food.

Kazuha points a fry at me. "Don't make me the weird one, ahou! Who eats soup in the middle of the day?

I purposefully slurp my soup loudly before answering, "Nostalgia soup."

Teruaki gasps and turns to Makoto. "Is that what you serve here? That's a cool name, am I right?"

"It's not called that here. Heiji makes up so many strange phrases, I choose not to keep up with them," Makoto replies.

"That's because you can't say nutterbutter," I say.

He clears his throat loudly when he flushes. "Pardon my rudeness for not introducing myself earlier," he bows his head. "I am Kyogoku Makoto—"

"The prince of kicks," I say.

Kazuha grins. "The prince of every girl's heart."

"The hottest thing since a piece of toast."

"There's a line of tickets to see his gun show."

"STOP PLEASE," Makoto shushes me and Kazuha with a red face.

"Brother Mako, it's because you react this way that we keep doing it," I say, happily going back to eating my soup.

Kazuha snickers as she dips her fries in mayo. "…hottest thing since piece of toast…" she mumbles to herself.

"Either way, it's nice to finally meet you," Makoto tells Teruaki. "You may use my first name if you wish."

Teruaki bites on the end of his chopsticks. He ordered gyoza. "I know I'm the oldest one at the table, but you have a big bro vibe to ya, Makoto," he says.

I start eyeing Kazuha's fries. I kinda hate I didn't order them. Instead of actually asking for some, I wait until she's distracted by her phone to take some. I force them in my mouth just before she turns to me. She narrows her eyes at me and I just shrug.

"I've been told," Makoto replies, taking off his glasses. "I do have a younger sister, Minori. She works in the kitchen."

I start reaching for more fries when Kazuha starts scrolling on her phone again.

Makoto slaps my hand away. "I'm also friends with these two."

Our conversation drifts from Mako getting to know Teruaki, Kazuha showing off her new alpaca plushie to Mako, and Teruaki being Teruaki. No that last one we didn't talk about, but he was just so happy to be here. It was weird.

Like he's still grinning like an idiot now.

"What's with you?" I ask. Hey, I've always been someone to call things out. I assume it's a part of the Hattori 'We're Born Assholes' Bloodline. "You've been like so happy this whole time."

"Ahou," Kazuha rolls her eyes. "People can be happy."

Teruaki laughs. "It's fine, Kazuchi. I was just thinking how I always wanted to just hang out with you guys," he says. "Kazuha always told me how much fun she had with her best friends and I always wanted to be a part of those memories. Sounds cheesy, am I right?"

WOW.

WOW.

FUCK HIM. FUCK HIM FOR TUGGING AT THE FEW HEARTSTRINGS I HAVE.

God, he service aced my reasons for being a jerk to him. Kazhua gasps excitedly.

"OSAKA NIGHTS!" She proclaims.

"That sounds…like a cheap love hotel," I say.

Kazuha turns to me still excited, "I'm too excited to care! We can have sleepovers at my apartment whenever we're free! Osaka Nights!"

"I'm not from Osaka," Makoto replies.

"Haido is close!" she says.

"…it's not," he says with a chuckle.

"What about HaidOsaka Nights?" I suggest. "That way Brother-Mako feels more included."

Kazuha lets out a whoop. "HAIDOSAKA NIGHTS!"

Teruaki laughs at her enthusiasm. "Sounds fun to me."

And honestly…it sounds fun to me too. Hey, I know I got weird crush feelings but I'm still a friend. Like I can't drop being a friend just because I occasionally think Kazuha is cute.

Wow. I was able to think that without getting frazzled. Maybe I'm growing up?

I ask Makoto to let me out of the booth so I can go to the toilet. At the same time Minori comes out of the kitchen to call her brother to help bring out more food to customers. While I'm in the bathroom, I get a text. Or rather, several.

*THREE'S COMPANY APARTMENT*

Former-Laptop: I NEED SOMETHING FUNNY IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

DOVES: I WAS THINKING ABOUT BANANA FLAVORED SODA DOES THAT HELP?

DOVES: WAIT WHY?

I stare at my phone. Well at least I just finished washing my hands.

Me: Kaito banana sodas sound really gross.

Former-Laptop: It kinda does Jerkaito.

DOVES: But grape soda sounds okay?

Former-Laptop: It makes more sense!

Me: Well to be fair, American grape soda tastes like straight sugar.

DOVES: AHA!

Former-Laptop: Out of curiosity what is your favorite soda, Heiji?

Me: Peach.

DOVES: THAT'S OUR FAVORITE!

Former-Laptop: FUCK YEAH IT IS! Aw I'm so happy now!

DOVES: Why did you need a joke/happiness Bimboko?

Me: Great question for a fiancé to ask—why do you need happiness, lady I'm about to marry?

DOVES: THAT'S NOT HOW I MEANT IT.

Me: First you leave her snoring on the floor and now this.

DOVES: OMG SHUT UP. YOU DIDN'T PICK HER UP EITHER.

Me: Wow and now you want another man touching your fiance.

DOVES: AOKO SAY SOMETHING.

Former-Laptop: LOOOOOL THIS IS HILARIOUS.

DOVES: OMG AOKO ARE YOU SERIOUS.

Me: LMAFO SHE DOESN'T EVEN HELP YOU.

Former-Laptop:Now Kaito it's not every day you're the teaser.

Me: Also I like how you're forgetting you tease me all the time also.

DOVES: BUT YOU WERE IN A WIG THAT HAD TO BE DONE.

Me: WOW.

Former-Laptop: Heiji is literally doing what you do to Shinichi all the time.

Me: Teasing Shinichi is like breathing.

DOVES: It really is.

DOVES: Seriously though what's up? I know you want a laugh when you're nervous about something.

Me: Nice rephrasing.

DOVES: shut it.

Former-Laptop: I have to make a call that I really don't want to make.

DOVES: To help with the café? I thought you liked all of your café friends?

Former-Laptop: It's not a friend. At least on my side. Any other jokes before I dial this phone number?

Me: I'm currently hanging out with Makoto, Kazuha, and her boyfriend.

DOVES: HAHAHA!

Former-Laptop: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL THAT SOUNDS AMAZING.

Former-Laptop: Ah, there's nothing more hilarious than your life Heiji.

Me: Remember when you two weren't engaged and you were worried Hakuba wanted to break you up?

DOVES: AW PIGEONS! MY PHONE IS BLACKING OUT ALL OF A SUDDEN!

Former-Laptop: Whoops seems like there's a glitch in your phone Heiji. All I'm reading is I love you Aoko omg you're the best boss I ever had.

Me: I GOT YOU TWO ENGAGED. I EXPECT A WEDDING PRESENT.

I stuff my phone back in my pocket. I'm super serious—I expect a beautifull wrapped box on their wedding day. I head out of the bathroom and almost run into Makoto's back.

"Oh sorry, Heiji," he says. "Come over this way, they won't see us here."

"Who?" I ask, following him toward the kitchen doorway. It is hard to see from the booths. I gasp. "Is my dream of us being in an action flick finally happening?" I eagerly look for bad guys to beat up. "I can think of one liners like a motherfucker, Brother Mako."

Makoto chuckles. "No, I was watching Kazuha and Teruaki-san," he replies.

"Note to self: Makoto likes stalking."

"I don't!" He hisses, his face reddening. "It's just after I finished serving other guests, I noticed the two of them talking." He glances over to our booth. "They seem nice."

I decide to see what he means by that. At our booth Kazuha and Teruaki are chatting while she feeds him fries. Kazuha grins at something Teruaki says before nodding and responding. I feel the nostalgia-soup feeling drain out of my body. I'm bothered that you can tell they're in their own world and they're not bothered by anyone else.

AND I'M SUPER BOTHERED THAT THEY LOOK SO HAPPY!

I look away with a sigh. "They look like a nice couple…" I say.

"I agree," he says. "Sorry, that's probably something you don't want to hear."

I shrug. "I mean as her friend I do want to know she's happy with Teruaki, but it is kinda…" I trail off.

Makoto nods. "I understand. If it helps, we have another problem now." His face is even redder than usual.

"What's that?"

"…look for yourself…" Makoto mumbles, glancing down at his hands.

I look back at the booth and almost choke on air.

Kazuha and Teruaki are now…currently…making out…THEY ARE CURRENTLY MOUTHING EACH OTHER IN A PUBLIC SPACE BECAUSE FUCK OTHER PEOPLE APPARENTLY. SURE THE BOOTH SORTA BLOCKS THEM FROM OTHER PEOPLE BUT WE SEE EVERYTHING IN OUR POSITION.

"What the hell how are we supposed to go back?" I whisper to Makoto.

He covers his face. "I don't know! I don't even know what to think!"

For some reason we both have the urge to hide behind something but there's nothing to hide behind. Instead we go into the kitchen. Minori gives us a weird look before heading out the back door.

"Maybe it'll stop shortly?" Makoto says as he reaches up to push up his glasses.

"You don't have your glasses on," I tell him.

He pauses and checks his shirt pocket for them. I watch him check all of his pockets for his glasses.

"Did you leave them somewhere?" I ask.

His eyes widen. "I left my glasses on the table."

"What."

"My glasses are watching them…." He says, covering his face.

"HOLY SHIT. THEY'RE MAKING OUT IN FRONT OF YOUR BLESSED FRAMES!" I try to whisper this but it's very hard.

Makoto groans. "Do I give them that pair and use another pair?" he asks. "Is that how it's supposed to work? It's like if I workout in one of your shirts, it's better if I keep it right? Isn't this situation similar?"

"Dude, I don't even know!" I say, now pacing. "HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GO BACK!?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Makoto also starts pacing. So now in this kitchen there's two grown men nervously walking back and forth. Minori comes back in from the backdoor, sees the two of us frantically pacing, and goes back outside. "Did they believe we left for good?"

"I don't think so," I say. "I think Teruaki just wanted to be handsy while they had a chance." I can't help but tease Makoto. "You'll be doing that soon with your dream girl."

Makoto almost trips. "Heiji, I am already at the height of embarrassment. I don't think I can take much more."

"Alright, alright…okay, alright…" I say trying to think of something to stop everything from happening. "Well let's not freak out—they probably stopped since they're in public."

Makoto nods. "Maybe they're also embarrassed," he adds.

"I'll check," I say as I edge to the door. I slowly open it, and peek behind to scope the situation.

OH GOD IT'S STILL HAPPENING. ALSO WHAT THE HELL THEY DIDN'T EVEN FINISH THE PLATE OF FRIES I COULD'VE EATEN THOSE DAMMIT.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME EAT HER FRIES!?" I hiss at Makoto when I'm fully back in the kitchen.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He asks. "Is the deed…done?"

"It shifted into high gear."

"BUT HEIJI MY GLASSES!"

"I KNOW AND THOSE UNEATEN FRIES!"

"HEIJI YOU CAN GET MORE FRIES!"

"WELL YOU CAN GET MORE GLASSES!"

Makoto lets out a breath before ruffling his hair. "Let's calm down. We won't get anywhere by flying off the handle," he says.

"Right." I nod. "What's the plan?" I ask as he checks one of the fryers.

"I'm giving you more fries," he says. "You're going to think of a way to stop them."

"WHAT THE HELL WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT?"

"Because I'm now busy making you more fries as a reward." He smiles at me. "Heiji, you're the only one ridiculous enough to think of an equally ridiculous plan to save my glasses."

I glare at his peaceful smile. The amazing smell of fries wafts to my nose. "I'm doing this for the fries, not your now-defiled glasses."

He laughs. "Two servings of fries for my best friend."

UGGHHH….

I begrudgingly thank him and begin thinking of what to do. Knowing Teruaki he's gonna be extra handsy since he hasn't seen Kazuha in a while. Which ugh that ahou should know we're trying to come back but she's probably caught up in her lovey-dovey emotions. UGH! THIS IS FUCKING DUMB.

And I guess…I have to do something equally as stupid. My eyes land on a napkin dispenser on the counter. Makoto watches me grab several napkins and walk out of the kitchen. My eyebrow twitches when I see those two are still kissing as if it's going out of style. I glance down at my crumpled napkin balls.

This must be done.

I slowly rear back my right hand and lift up my left leg as I imagine myself on the pitcher's mound. I played a lot of baseball growing up and watched tons of Koshien. If I wasn't so in love with kendo I'd probably be a baseball star. Of course my favorite pitch is a fast ball. Not only was I good at speed, but my control is amazing too. Yeah I'm tooting my own horn, but I need to pump myself up as I continue doing this incredibly stupid thing.

I throw the napkin at full speed. "AHOU HIS GLASSES ARE WATCHING!" I shout as it hits Teruaki square on the forehead.

THOSE FRIES ARE GONNA TASTE AMAZING AFTER THIS.

3:00 P.M. AT THE APARTMENT BUILDING. GETTING OUT OF THE ELEVATOR. I FINISHED OFF MY FRIES ON THE WALK BACK.

AND THEY TASTED LIKE FUCKING VICTORY.

My phone goes off from another text message.

*WE'RE MAKO'S FANGIRLS*

Ahou: I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS.

Ahou: LITERALLY ALL OF MY LIFE.

Ahou: AND I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE YOU FUCKING PELTED US WITH GODDAMN NAPKINS AHOU.

Me: THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO AHOU? SIT BACK DOWN AND POLITELY SAY HEY STOP SUCKING HIS FACE PRETTY PLEASE?

Ahou: ONE WAS ENOUGH. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO THROW LIKE THIRTY AT US.

BroMako: Who changed the name of this group chat? I thought it was HaidOsaka.

Ahou: I DID BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM TO DO SOMETHING STUPID MAKOTO. NOW PREPARE TO BE EMBARRASSED MR. HOT-STUFF.

BroMako: No…

Ahou: ALSO MR. HANDSOME-AS-HELL WHY WERE YOU LIKE 'PLEASE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY' ABOUT YOUR GLASSES? YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE KUNISUE AND I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH THEM.

BroMako: ….but they witnessed your…uh passion….

Me: Mako…of all the words to choose why that one.

Ahou: I AM LIVID WITH YOU TWO. WHAT HAPPENED TO POLITENESS?

BroMako: I would like to be informed when public displays of affection are polite.

AmIRight: Now now Kazuchi. I thought it was kinda hilarious.

*AmIRight changed group name to HaidOsaka*

AmIRight: That was a great throw, Heiji! You should've been a baseball star, am I right?

Me: For once, you're extremely correct, Teruaki.

AmIRight: Kazuchi, it was an awkward situation for them. A couple napkins tossed at us is nothing, am I right?

Ahou: …fine.

I let out a sigh as I dig in my jacket pocket for my keys. Of course she'd cool out when her boyfriend politely asks her to. Uggggh I hate whatever this feeling is.

When I open the door, I see Kaito sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone. We look at each other for a brief moment.

"I feel weird," we say at the same time.

"You also hung out with your best friend's boyfriend and thought they were a better match than you thought?" I ask, heading to my room. He follows me with a small laugh.

"Oh yeah, you said that was happening," He says, sitting on my bed.

"Yeah," I answer. "After dropping our parents off to the train station, Kazuha and I decided to hit up Mako's place to eat and we ran into Teruaki on the way there."

"I like that you call him Mako." Kaito smiles.

I shrug. "He's like a brother to me," I say. "Anyway, Mako left to do something in the kitchen and then I left to go pee and when we both came back we saw Kazuha and Teruaki making out as if they didn't need to breathe air for the rest of their goddamn lives."

Kaito winces. "Ouch."

"TELL ME ABOUT IT!" I say, waving my arms. "ALSO HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO APPROACH A MAKING OUT COUPLE?"

"Keiko usually starts tapping our heads when she catches me and Bimboko going at it," Kaito replies. "Hakuba usually stays out of the room and times us—he times our freezer makeouts too."

"Of course he does."

Kaito laughs. "It's more like he's making sure we don't get hurt."

"He's too good for you," I tell him.

"Bimboko and I buy him a lot of gifts for that reason alone," he says. "So did you and Makoto leave Kazuha alone or…?"

"Oh I started throwing balled up napkins at her," I answer easily. Kaito laughs loudly, hitting the side of the bed.

"OF COURSE YOU DID!"

"But I got fries out of it."

He grins. "As one should in this situation."

I sigh as I start changing. No, I don't care. I suppose changing in the locker rooms back in high school does that to you. I roll my eyes when Kaito blows a wolf's whistle at me once I take off my shirt.

"Yes, it was rough and I am now forever sad and will eat ten pounds of coffee ice cream," I say.

He laughs, now hugging one my pillows. "Mind if I join you? Today we had a meeting about the café and this critic Koizumi-san. Turns out Sagu-chan and I met her before at one of my shows."

Huh, that explains why Hakuba was kinda awkward when she came by.

"She seems the type who would enjoy drinking wine and staring at paint drying with like Mozart playing in the background," I say putting on my sleeping shirt.

"Boo!" Kaito snickers. "I was enjoying the view."

"I know you're joking, but today my dad suggested I should change my rebound from Kudo to you and Aoko. So there's that," I tell him.

Kaito almost falls off my bed laughing. "YES BECOME A KUROBA! BIMBOKO WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY!" He says. "Oh man she's gonna be inspired for future fics for years now."

At least someone will benefit from the strangeness that is this entire day. And honestly Aoko deserves it since there's a target on her café now.

"But back to Koizumi-san—she was at one of my shows. Remember when you and Hakuba first met? It was that night," Kaito says, sparing me the fake flirting when I change pants.

I pause for a moment to think back to that. With all the craziness in my life, I'm surprised some stuff feels like a looong time ago. But I do remember what he's talking about.

"Woah wait Hakuba knows how to flirt with people?"

"Heiji, I'm his best friend. Of course he knows how to flirt with people," Kaito says this like I personally offended him. "Who do you think he asked to help create 'Prince Saguru'?" Of course he did. It all makes sense now. "They happened to see each other from across the bar and with a little pushing from me he went over to make his move."

"Wow, that sound so unlike him," I say. I can't even imagine Hakuba in a bar in the first place. I can easily picture him in the watching paint dry scenario I made up for Koizumi.

"Well after like ten minutes he got too embarrassed and left."

I snicker at this as I put my clothes in my hamper. "That sounds like R2-D2." I turn back to Kaito and see him hugging my pillow tightly and biting his lip. He gives me a nervous laugh. "What did you do?" I ask.

"Soooo…" He starts slowly. "After Sagu-chan left, I thought I should help him out and be a stellar wingman." I love how he's so confident in his wingman skills when he's only dated his high school sweetheart. Oh god does that mean he's been wingman-ing for Hakuba since high school? "So I changed my disguise to him—"

"You have a…Hakuba disguise?" I interrupt. "That you keep on hand?"

He shrugs as if this is a normal thing. I hate that I wouldn't be surprised if he told me that he's actually a spy for the government. "I have tons of disguises. You're one of the few people I can't do because of your skin tone."

Thank god for my amazing tan skin.

"So I disguised as him and decided to talk to Koizumi-san some more. She actually started warming up to me, er to me as Sagu-chan," he continues. "Of course I had to take off the disguise since I had a show to continue doing. I didn't think about changing out of Sagu-chan—"

"That is the creepiest phrase," I say.

"And I took off my disguise on stage…" he trails off, now playing with his fingers.

I gasp when it all clicks in my head. "Oh my god are you saying that she thought you were flirting with her that entire time?"

"Well she came up to me afterward asking that same thing and I told her that Sagu-chan was real at first but then I took over," he answers. "Then she asked why."

"A correct response," I say, crossing my arms.

"And I said I wanted to get to know her some more which is true because I thought I could tell Sagu-chan some more info on her later, but uh…" Kaito is looking anywhere except my face. "…she uh…may have…a small…crush on me? Maybe?"

I sigh loudly. "Didn't you say you were engaged?"

"Well at that point I didn't pop the question to Aoko, yet," Kaito says. He plays with his fingers again, this time he's making cards appear in the palm of his hand.

I roll my eyes. "You know what I mean, Kaito."

"...I didn't think it would matter. Tons of my fans have crushes on me, it's no big deal…" he mumbles into the pillow.

"BUT YOU DON'T FLIRT WITH THEM AS SOMEONE ELSE!" I exclaim. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT SINGLE?"

"I DIDN'T THINK SHE WOULD COME BACK INTO MY LIFE!" He counters.

"Are you serious?" I sigh. "Did you tell Hakuba and Aoko this?"

Kaito looks up at me with the biggest pout I've ever seen. "They don't even know that I disguised as Saguru that night."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS, KAITO!?"

"I JUST WANTED TO BE A WINGMAN FOR ONCE!" He wails before covering his face in the pillow.

I KNEW HE WASN'T A GOOD WINGMAN! I FUCKING CALLED IT! OH MY GOD.

"Hate to say it, Wingman, but when she came by today Scarlet Witch wasn't chummy with Astro Boy," I tell him.

"…what's with you and nicknames?" he asks.

"No distracting questions!" I say. "How come you didn't bring this up? I think Hakuba would love to know Koizumi was rude as hell to him this morning."

"Oh no, she was? She really liked him! I could totally tell!" Kaito sits up and curls up with my pillow. "And it's not like I could bring this up when Aoko is now super worried about impressing Koizumi-san. After the meeting she started calling all of her café friends to help her out with suggestions and stuff and was like actually doing her job!" Hilarious how he also knows we goof off more than actually work.

I walk over and sit on my bed across from him. "Do you have some sort of plan to straighten this out at least? Such as telling the truth?"

He immediately brightens. "So I gave this a whole bunch of thought because I knew you would ask!"

Literally anyone would, but I'm glad he knows he needs to fix this. God, I can imagine how Kudo would be in this situation. He would literally just do nothing with the belief everything will work itself out.

"When Koizumi-san comes to the café, I'll be in the back baking with Sera. The only people she'll see are the people making coffee and Aoko and Hakuba! So if I just do nothing and stay back there verything's all good in the hood!" He explains happily, eagerly waiting for my response.

"How are you the same person?" I ask flatly, covering my face. "You're literally the same…"

"Anyone here?" Aoko calls from the door. "Please let there be other people…" Woah she sounds distressed.

"We're back here in Heiji's room!" Kaito calls. "I'm on his bed so imagine what you will! He even changed in front of me that rascal!"

I roll my eyes. Wait, there's more footsteps. It's not just Aoko in here. I guess its Hakuba? But he would've said hello already I feel.

Aoko finally pokes her head in our room with her phone ready to take pictures. "Damn, you were fujoshi-baiting me."

"You make a cute face whenever I do," Kaito grins. Dare I say it's almost anger inducing how secure their relationship is? "What's up, Bimboko? You look like you need a hug."

"Yeah," I say. "Also, is Hakuba here or something? It sounded like someone else came in with you."

Aoko forces on the angriest looking smile I've ever seen. "…Kyoko's here…" she says through clenched teeth.

Kaito's eyes widen. "Woah wait really?"

"Kyoko?" I ask. Why does that name sound kinda familiar?

A woman pokes her head in the doorway, all smiles. Her hair is in a long braid that's slung over her shoulder. She gasps excitedly.

"Kaito, is that you?" Kyoko skips past Aoko and gives Kaito a hug. Aoko leans against the doorframe with a frown. "It's been so long!"

"Imagine that," Aoko says flatly.

Kaito stiffens when Kyoko hugs and awkwardly pats her back. His eyes dart over to Aoko's in confusion."Yeah, it's been a long time…" he avoids looking at the woman's face when she releases him as he mumbles, "uh, I'm not sure how to address you…did you change your surname?"

Kyoko laughs behind her hand. "Nah, it's too much trouble!" Behind her, Aoko rolls her eyes. Kyoko looks at me still smiling. This is one happy lady. "You're the new roommate! Aoko was telling me about you while we were in the elevator!" she says.

Aoko sighs. She looks almost sick at the idea of introducing Kyoko to me. "Heiji, this is Nakamori Kyoko…Kyoko this is my roommate Heiji." she mumbles, lazily gesturing between the two of us.

Nakamori…? Wait a second.

"I'm Aoko's mom!" Kyoko cheers.

Aoko scoffs and rolls her eyes.

And the hits keep on coming…

WHOO! HELLO! It's been a while with this story! I'm back with another update. Lol I think this chapter shows how much I've aged. The tone to me feels similar but I dunno...better? I feel like it feels better. This chapter is about three times longer than the usual! I remember before I used to only allow myself 13 pages for each chapter and this one is about 38 pages. I think the chapters from here on out will probably be longer. I was able to put a lot of good stuff in the chapter this time! Gosh it's been a couple years but I do plan on completing this! A lot of fun stuff in this chapter! Tons of texting! I realized that I haven't had Heiji or anyone use their phone so now there's texting! This section of the story is one of favorites when I first planned it out. There's more hijinks and craziness coming up! Next chapter Kyoko and Aoko chat, Kaito blackmails himself, and Heiji continues to earnestly do stupid things. Gotta love that guy. See you next time!