Disclaimer: The world of One Piece and its characters belong to Eiichiro Oda. I claim no ownership over his work, and this is just a silly little fanfiction written by a silly little person for a silly little bit of fun.

Carry me

Following their victory over Caesar Clown and his underlings on Punk Hazard, the Straw Hat Crew and their allies, including the rather barbaric G-5 Marines were partying in full force, much to the disbelief and annoyance of Trafalgar Law, who preferred to get out of the island as soon as possible.

Next to him sat the Vice-Admiral Smoker, who although uninterested in partying, was over watching his men, as well as their captives. Looking at his Right Hand Tashigi laughing so happily with the rest of Straw Hats brings some comfort to his heart, though he can only wonder how their relationship would be had they not been pirates.

The Captain Tashigi was indeed laughing happily with the children, now in her care until they reach the G-5 Marine base, which was quite an heart-warming sight, considering how much she had been through these days. She seems to share a bond of trust with the Cat Burglar Nami, if not a bond of friendship already, and between bouts of laughter, were chatting eagerly, relaxing among themselves. While Franky the Cyborg was playing with the children, one could hear them exchanging stories.

"…and I had Zoro carry me on his back all the while! Although he's always grumpy, he can be surprisingly kind at times. Well, I guess I kind of guilt-tripped him into it as well. " said Nami, retelling their adventure at Alabasta.

"Him? Kind? Well, I guess, if he wasn't so dismissive towards women." replied Tashigi, still angry towards his attitude during their fight against the harpy, although she was kind of grateful for his help.

"Now that you remind me, how come you were carried like this? That was kind of an embarrassing pose, wasn't it?" noted the navigator, referring to the sack carry when their group met while fleeing the deadly gas.

As soon as she heard the question, the Marine became surprisingly silent, visibly embarrassed by it. She still managed to muster a rather unconvincing reply: "The gas was coming, we didn't have time to consider which was the better position. He just grabbed me and ran."

"Considering his strength and stamina, I don't think he would have a problem changing your position while running." Said Nico Robin, who was quietly listening until now, "Though, if I think about it, both of you should be aware of that, wouldn't you? I am guessing you did try to change the way he carried you?"

Both pirate women had their eyes on the Marine, whose cheeks are rapidly reddening, while she still stood silent. The archeologist continued: "If we think about it, wouldn't that sack carry the least embarrassing position?"

"How so?" replied the navigator, "I had him carry me on his back, and neither of us wre bothered the slightest by it."

"You were ordering him around in this position, weren't you? Giving him directions and such." said Robin, "Besides, I guess neither of you two considered it awkward to have both of your face being so close to each other."

"I see. It's true that he considers me a witch that deserves to go to hell." sighed Nami, "It's kind of frustrating though, that he is completely immune to my charm. Must be related to his self-discipline, I guess."

"That's not true!" finally answered Tashigi, her blush still quite visible, "He was the one who declined it, after trying it for a few seconds. Something to do with my face, that bastard!"

"I see, that explains our first question." calmly said Robin. "But there is another position that should be less… awkward than a sack carry."

"A shoulder carry? Isn't that kind of dangerous?" asked Nami, "They were in a building that was also on the verge of collapsing. I don't think that would be a good idea."

"No, not that." replied her companion, "It would have also been awkward with the balance while running. I was talking about the bridal carry."

"Isn't that even more embarrassing?" wondered the navigator, "I don't see why he would do that."

"Let's consider first that our Captain here is a rather well-known sword enthusiast. Now, in a position such as a sack carry, I am pretty sure that our swordsman's katanas would easily catch her attention. Do you think he would be happy with her trying to grab his weapons?" asked the archeologist. "We can all agree that he wouldn't. The bridal carry offers, besides the inability for our friend to… touch his swords, an easy way to monitor her condition, and to defend her as well, if needed, and it would have been more comfortable on top of it."

"But wait! If this position was so convenient, why didn't he carry her like that?" asked the orange-haired thief, "Although I can guess Sanji would have been even angrier. Not that Zoro would care anyways."

"Oh, but I think he does, though not about our cook." replied Robin, "First, from the piggyback carry question, we can be sure about two things: First, that unlike towards you or me, having our Captain's face close to his somehow unnerves him, and second, if a position was awkward to him, he would refuse to carry her so."

"What are you getting at?" wondered Nami, although she herself had an idea about the answer, if her rather mischievous smirk was an indication.

"Now, with the bridal carry, since he wouldn't have our Captain's face just next to his, and she would be unable to… touch his swords. So why didn't he carry her like so? Is it because it was awkward for our Marine friend? Was it awkward for him?" said the archeologist, "Or maybe it was embarrassing for both? Considering our swordsman's general attitude and lack of romance, I find it very amusing if true."

That was the breaking point, the navigator, and some other members of the Straw Hat Crew (Zoro and Sanji were thankfully not among them) who were quietly listening until now exploded with laughter while imagining their grumpiest companion carrying the Marine Captain like a bride, while both of them were blushing furiously, like the strangest couple one would ever meet on the street, and yet it somehow fits them, which only made it funnier, because it could really have happened.

The poor Captain Tashigi who remained silent with embarrassment was now hiding her face, completely red. She know she wouldn't be able to convincingly deny it, and her only hope before she dies of embarrassment was to derail the subject, before the shouts of "Swords couple" and such would reach the entire island, otherwise Vice-Admiral Smoker would scold her to no end, and it would be the biggest gossip for months to come in the G-5 base.

"N-no! He, he didn't!" the Captain weakly shouted, hoping to refute their claims.

"He didn't what?" shouted one of the bystanders, between two bouts of laughter.

The honest Captain, in a last ditch of changing the subject, responded:

"He didn't let me touch his sword!"

The ensued laughter could be heard for miles from the island.

End

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