When he first awoke, all Donatello found was darkness.

He lay in silence. Waiting. Slowly a dark green form began to materialize before him, so familiar in shape it made his heart ache. Though exhaustion plagued him, he could not bring himself to fall back into the dreamless slumber from which he had awoken.

He heard Raphael speak his name, no more than a whisper barely lifting off his lips.

Don knew he needed to say something. Anything to ease the strain of worry that plagued his older brother's face, the thin lines of stress carved around his forehead and mouth. Or even a smile, no matter if it didn't reach his eyes.

I'm so sorry Raphael.

I never meant for any of this to happen.

"Hey," he croaked, "What's a guy gotta do to get some food around here?"

The flicker of relief was instantaneous. Raphael's shoulders fell, though Don could still see how the shadows of sadness refused to leave even as Raph smiled down on him.

"You little bastard," Raphael's voice was soft, and he was quick to reach up, manfully wiping his newly moistened eyes as took a small step back before whispering, "Just a sec, I'm gonna grab ya some water."

Donatello could already feel the papery thin skin around his lips beginning to crack just from the few words he had spoken. As Raph darted out of sight, Don quickly flicked out his tongue, hoping to hide the evidence of the metallic bursts of liquid he felt slowly beginning to slide down his chin. Though his efforts proved solely in vain, for the moment the older turtle stepped back over to him he instantly crinkled his beak.

"Quit talkin' so much brainiac, you're makin' it worse. Here, see if ya can drink this."

With a deliberate care, Raph tipped the glass gently against Don's lips.

Don attempted to lift his head, but he stopped instantly as the pressure building up in his temples promptly escalated. Instead, he could only wait for the cool liquid to seep into his mouth, bringing with it a moment of refreshing relief. But the instant Don attempted to swallow, the water burned in his throat, and the young turtle burst into a fit of violent coughs.

"Damn it," Raphael growled guiltily, yanking the glass back, "sorry."

With nothing at his immediate disposal, Raph brought his arm forward, using the bandages wrapped around his wrist to attempt to wipe away the dribbling water from his brother's chin.

Don grimaced and turned his head aside, his fingers weakly twitching in the faintest effort of swatting the other away.

"Raph…" Don hesitated as his voice clawed up his chest and he inhaled slowly, forcing the words steady, "…help me sit up."

Raphael immediately hesitated, his shoulders stiffening at the request. Still, Don kept his dark eyes locked on the luminescent emerald hues of the other, even as Raph shook his head.

"I don't think that's a good idea Donnie," Raph almost fidgeted where he sat before he poked the lip of the glass he'd set down earlier, "I'm not so sure I'm the best one to move ya, better wait for Master Splinter or-"

"You guys haven't turned me over at all, have you?"

Raph blinked, his forehead crinkling, "Uh…no?"

"And I can't feel my toes either," Don sighed, his gaze dropping away wistfully, "so I suppose it's safe to assume the circulation in my legs is utterly shot too."

"You can't what!?"

Raphael's attention shot over to Don's feet, when he suddenly stopped as a soft touch gently grazed his left arm. Instantly a cascade of goose-bumps washed over him as glanced down to the thin, pale green fingers now resting against him.

"Please Raph."

Don could feel Raph shudder beneath his icy fingertips. For a moment the older turtle refused his plea, staring only at his hand, the floor, anywhere but Don's gaze. Until at last he lifted his head, and a pulse of hope shot through Don's veins.

"Fine," Raph muttered, "but just for a minute, alright?"

"Scouts honor."

Donatello bit his tongue as Raphael reached over and gently began to extract his arms from his sides. It was the only way to keep himself from screaming at the top of his lungs as the fiery agony of white-hot needles jolted up from his wrists, and plummeting deep into his chest with every shallow breathe he took. He felt Raphael pause, and Don gave a hiss, clenched his fingers tight into fists and locking his arms around Raph's shoulders.

"I'm fine," Don's words were sharp as he bit back another wince, "Pull me up."

Raph mercifully wrapped his arms around Don's chest, pulling him up the rest of the way until he sat up unsteadily on the sofa.

For a few moments Don could only hear the thundering of his heart crashing in his skull, his vision exploding with black lights as he struggled to steady himself. His arms remained latched around Raphael's neck, trembling. He knew full well Raph's sturdy frame was the only thing preventing him from collapsing on the spot.

"Shit, I knew this was a bad idea…"

"No."

Don snapped his head up so fast he almost pulled away, though he was glad when Raph instinctively reached out and steadied him. He swallowed hard, forcefully shaking his head, "No…thank you Raph."

It took him a few seconds to realize he had rested his forehead against Raphael's, eyes closed once more. The elder turtle's searing hot flesh was a welcome relief to the bitter cold that gripped him to the core. Even the awkwardness of such proximity was not enough to dissuade him into pulling away from his temporary relief. Instead he focused on slowing the rapid pulsing that ached through his body, his upper body swaying slightly.

He didn't know how long he sat there, thankful for his older brother's rare bout of patience. At last the ringing in his skull began to subside, and with a slow exhale, Don forced himself to slowly pull away, staring down at his knees. Yet he stopped as he caught sight of a harsh glint of metal at Raphael's waist.

"I didn't know you slept with your gear and sais on."

"Not usually. Only after you-"

Don's shoulders twitched as Raph's words sharply cut off. Slowly he turned his head upward, but he stopped the moment he met his older brother's stare.

Even through the murky gloom of the night, Don could see the hard lines plaguing Raphael's forehead and mouth that hadn't been there just a few short months ago. Though they did nothing to detract from the startling intensity of Raphael's sharp green eyes, piercing straight through him, searching for an answer Don wasn't sure he had.

Don tried to swallow, tried to respond. But the words never came.

Instead, Raphael spoke for him.

"I knew you weren't gone." Raphael's voice was hushed, strained. Don could feel him begin to stiffen, the only thing preventing his hands from bunching into fists was the fact that he was still steadying Don where he sat. "Did you really think that we…that I…"

Only now did Don look away.

The guilt gnawed at the pit of his stomach, a sickening sensation shooting through him. He swallowed hard, forcing the nausea away.

"I blamed myself."

Don exhaled slowly. Even within the darkness inside his own head he couldn't hide from splashes of red that tainted his memories. The fear for his brothers, terror inflicted by his own doing, forever burned in his mind, "My stupidity, my…narcissism. It almost killed Mikey. It almost killed you all."

"And this option was so much better?"

Donatello twitched from the bite in Raph's voice, though he didn't fight back.

He deserved it.

"…I…I wasn't going to abandon you guys." Don's vision was blurred as he continued to stare at the floor. "I just…I needed…"

"Stop talkin'." Raph said flatly, "You're makin' your mouth bleed."

For half a moment Don almost listened. But then he wrenched his head back up, locking on Raphael as he spoke with force.

"I needed you guys to know I could keep you safe."

Don's throat constricted as the eyes of his brother instantly glittered as his words settled in the air. He had felt Raph flinch beside him. It was painful.

Suddenly he felt Raph move, pulling one arm away from where it had been firmly gripping him. Don sucked in a quick breathe as Raph brought his hand forward, fingers extended. Slowly Raph reached closer, until Don could feel his fingertips only a hair breadth's away from the long, deep scar he could still feel tugging at the side of his mouth.

There Raph's hand hovered, trembling. Raphael swallowed, allowing a shaky gasp to escape.

He remained there for only a moment or two until he began to pull away. Don's hand shot up, gripping him by the wrist as firmly as his weakened strength would allow. Raph froze as Donatello gave a small squeeze.

"You have always protected me Raphael." Don spoke firmly, "Always."

Raph said nothing. He didn't nod. Didn't pull away. He only whispered.

"Was it worth it?"

An agonizing chill gripped Don's heart, and he didn't answer.

He could feel his skin burning. Every wound transformed into a thousand needles slowly digging beneath the surface of his flesh with every struggling gasp. Yet it hardly compared to the soft voice of his older brother, filling his head with a question he couldn't even begin to comprehend.

Was it worth it?

The wicked blades of countless scalpels sliding across his flesh, forever impaling his body every waking moment thereafter.

Was it worth it?

The warmth of his own blood, flooding his eyes and filling his vision, a twisted mercy from the steely pressure of two metal prongs slowly cracking open the crown of his skull.

Was it worth it?

Screams that had choked in his throat. Shrieking into a black void of nothing, a mere, useless distraction from the slow, steady wait for death.

And yet his brothers were safe.

"Where is it?"

Raph hesitated, but then Don saw his attention shift as he turned just slightly and nodded over to the living room table.

Carefully, Don pulled away from Raph's hold. He leaned over, peering through the darkness for the familiar shape, the dull sheen of dark metal or the glowing hue of crimson that had been his only thought to destroy for countless days on end.

At last he found his prize.

His creation.

His monster.

Metalhead.

"Donatello."

Don's gaze snapped back to Raph as he flinched.

"What?"

Raphael blinked, "Huh?"

"You said my name."

Raph frowned, "No I didn't."

Don hesitated, studying Raph for a few seconds, though the confusion etched in his older brother's face was clear. Swallowing, Don shook his head, "Never mind."

"Donatello."

A cold shudder swept through Don as his body suddenly recoiled. He tore his attention away from Raphael, glancing through the murky darkness as the soft whisper of his name tickled in his ear.

"M-Mikey? Is that you?"

Raphael paused before leaning in slightly, "Mikey's asleep in Master Splinter's room. What's wrong?"

Don could feel Raph's gaze locked onto him, though he avoided turning back to him as an icy hand slowly began to creep up his spine. Again he tried to swallow, searching in the direction of Leonardo's bedroom, though Raph was quick to interject before he could question what he already knew the answer to.

"Leo's sleepin' too. What is it Donnie? What do ya hear?"

"Donatello."

A piercing jolt shocked through Don and he wrenched himself away from Raphael's gentle grip. He instantly felt his body begin to shudder, heart thundering so fast it crashed inside his skull.

"Donnie."

His head snapped up, could see the wide eyes of Raph staring back at him filled with absolute terror.

"Donnie, what's wrong?"

He could see his own breathe, white and foggy with every strangled gasp that wracked his chest. A horrifying chill settled around him, cloaking him in a frigid vice that hadn't been there just a moment ago.

"No…no…"

His hands flew up, covering his ears desperately. No.

"Donatello."

"No…please…"

Shrill. Oily. The voice seeped between his fingers, curling inside of him until its blackened grip latched on. There was no way to escape.

"Donatello!"

Don's head shot up. Then he saw it. The soft, hazy white mist, slowly seeping into the lair. It blanketed the walls, casting everything in a thick fog, inching closer second by second.

"Donnie!"

For a moment Donatello froze, suddenly feeling the tight grip of Raph latching onto his arms. Raphael hadn't moved where he sat beside him, though Don could feel how his fingers trembled.

He almost stopped. Caught in the stare of the other, he found something he hadn't expected.

Real.

This was real.

"Donatello…"

He heard the voice inside his own head, felt the freezing breath tickle against his neck. With a painful cry Don wrenched himself away from Raph's grip, the stinging knives shooting through his legs as he suddenly forced himself to stand.

"No! Raph…we have to get out of here! We have to get the others…"

He stumbled.

His knees buckled before Raph instantly shot to his side, grabbing his waist firmly.

"Whoa…Donnie…calm down bro, I don't think you should be standin'…"

But Don was already shaking his head furiously, the ground swerving beneath him though he refused to be eased back down. The voice slithered in nearer.

It was coming.

"…Donatello…"

Don winced as he once again tried to wrench himself from Raphael's grip, though the older turtle held him fast to his spot. He blindly reached out, fingers sliding as he tried to grasp Raph by the shoulders.

"Please Raph…" each exhale was a harsh stab deep in his chest, "…we have to get out…"

"Donatello." Raphael refused to be swayed, though Don could see the fear lighting his eyes, "You need to calm down."

"Donatello!"

It screeched all around him. The white mist filled his lungs, burning his throat. There was no time. No time.

Don lunged for the glinting metal strapped at Raph's waist, causing the older turtle to jerk back in shock.

It was all the time Don needed.

Raph's sai was heavier than he expected, but he gripped the handle tight with both hands, staggering back a few paces as he desperately pointed the weapon outward.

"They…they found me again…They're going to take you all away from me…"

Raphael's hands were up, palms open. The mist swirled around his feet as he carefully stepped forward.

"Donnie," Raph spoke evenly, "put it down. No one's takin' us anywhere bro. We'll figure this out okay?"

A sickening realization suddenly hit Don like a punch to the gut. Raph couldn't see it. The thick, murky cloud that was rapidly enveloping them both, filling their lungs to choke them from the inside out.

Don's grip tightened on the handle.

He could feel the stitched up wounds stretching and threatening to burst wide open. But as Raph took a step toward him, Don stumbled back, clutching the weapon with quivering hands.

"No...No, I'm not going to let them take you!"

Tears burned as they burst forth, blurring his vision already filled with the intoxicating mist.

They had found him.

They were there.

Somewhere Raph was still calling his name.

Everything had been taken over by fog, shrouding him in its unforgiving clutch. Agonizing tremors of strangled wheezes shook though Don's body, the sai beginning to waver in his desperate hands.

"Raph!"

Only now Raph was silent. No voice of his brother…nothing, except that shrill, metallic voice, calling his name. Tears as cold as ice slid down Don's face as he spun around, frantically searched for any sign of his brother.

"Raphael!"

Donatello felt the steely touch of bony fingers dig into his arms, gripping him tight from behind.

A strangled cry broke free from his throat, and he felt the deep wound in his side rupture open, warm liquid oozing down his leg. He tried to wrench himself free, but his brother's sai slipped from his grasp, clattering uselessly to the ground.

They took him.

They took Raphael.

With a final scream of desperation, Don gave a violent twist from his captor's clutches. His leg instantly gave out beneath him and he fell forward.

"Donatello!"

Don's eyes snapped open.

Firm, strong hands steadied him before he fell. Familiar hands.

"F-father?"

Master Splinter stood suddenly before him. Holding him. Protecting him.

Don swallowed hard and looked around. The mist was gone, the lair filled with only the worried faces of his three brothers.

His gaze locked onto Raphael's, standing closely beside Splinter in terrified silence. Raph was clutching onto Splinter's robes, something Don hadn't seen him do since they were children. Behind him Don could see Mikey, small whimpers escaping him as he tightly gripped Leo, who seemed to be holding on just as forcefully in return.

They were all there.

"It is safe, my son."

Don could still feel his heart thundering in his chest. The warm blood continued to trickle down his leg from the damp bandaged now wrapped around his side. Slowly Don looked away. He spotted Raphael's sai, laying in the ground just a step away. A dull strip of pale purple cloth was wrapped around its handle.

Donatello blinked, peering at it closer as though he was seeing it for the first time.

He looked back up just as he felt the warm arms of his father carefully pull him in close.

A sigh escaped Don as he at last allowed himself to return the embrace. He saw the faces of his brothers one last time before he closed his eyes.

They were okay.

His family was safe.

For now.