UNIQUE

Ryder had a smirk across his face.

I didn't find the situation funny or him charming.

"I wish you wouldn't say such things about Sam…" I felt a bit of guilt, Sam looked so uncomfortable at lunch. He pulled me closer. "Ryder…"

"Go on a date with me" he suggested eagerly to me. My eyes looked around the emptying hallway, people were looking. Was it such a bad association?

Ryder and I have been texting for the last few days…I allowed it to happen because he already knew what I…was. Apparently he had friends of friends in Carmel High.

He told me when he gave me the candle in school, it was laundry scented.

I felt guilty, each time I lit it, I thought about Sam. I put a hand on his chest; I could feel my purse drop to my bent elbow. My hand felt the fabric of his cotton shirt; I could see his broad shoulder figure. I couldn't lie, he was a damn good looking guy...and he liked me for me…should it be more complicated than that?

Unique would NOT live her life like this, nu uh, I needed to allow happiness back into my life. However, I was terrified. Ryder would be the first guy who knew all about me and still wanted to…

"I see it in your eyes, just say yes" I needed to let go of Sam, be support for him when he needed…but no more. I caused him trouble. And he was already troubled enough.

"Yes" why did this make me think of Jessie? Thinking one thing, saying another, I felt him cup my face with his hands.

"That's what I like to hear" his smirk changed into a smile and we held the contact. His phone buzzed.

"Of Coach is pissed" I looked at his larger hands thumb the phone. "Sam is skipping out on football practice and uhh…I need to be there" he scoffed and looked at me. I simply shrugged and he walked off with a grin…lord I felt weakness in my knees.

Sam loved football, and after what he sacrificed for me…why would he skip it now? Reaching into my purse I pulled out my phone.

'Why aren't you at practice? Get back in the game!'

I tried to keep it friendly.

BUZZ!

'I'm sorting out my priorities'

What did that mean? I looked around the school hallway and began to make my way to the busses.

'I thought you loved football?'

I regretted bringing up love... there was a delay.

BUZZ! 5 minutes later he texted me.

'There are a few things other than football that I love' I swallowed hard.

I had to remind myself I was with the OTHER handsome, dyslexic football player who had a thing for Star Wars. Brushing hair to the side I looked at the passing 'scenery' of Lima. How could all of this happen in such dead place? I don't feel like I had a place here.

'And what are you going to do? You just got back to playing again' Guilt hit me. With what Kitty had done too…I should be near Sam, supporting him but it always leads back to…us.

BUZZ!

'I've already lost things more important than not playing football' The bus stopped, it jerked me from the text. I got off and started walking home; I just kept starting at the text. What was I supposed to say? For now I threw the phone in my purse and dropped it on the dining table.

I distracted myself by doing chores and tending to dinner for my parents.

"Unique, I don't remember giving birth to you with a permanent frown on your face"

"huh?" Mom walked up to me. She touched my face, I stopped slicing carrots.

"What is upsetting you?" I looked away and went back to cooking.

"Boys" she nodded.

"Did they do something we need to talk about?" I could tell she was really worried.

"No…I am fine, I swear" I put the knife through another carrot. "I can take care of it. I just need to think" I felt her hand move to my shoulder.

"Okay sweetheart" and she left. After homework Ryder texted me, he wanted to do that date tonight. I told him no because I wasn't feeling well. In all honesty I thought he was pushing too much. But should I have said no to a guy like him? A lot of girls like him and he likes me for who I am, which is more than I can say about Sam.

Stupid of me, but I asked Ryder.

'What do you do when you are about to lose something?' I looked at the phone and waited.

BUZZ!

'U fgit for it J, spakein of. Dtae tormorrow?' I squinted at it.

SAM

"Never understood why you were a bottle blonde…" Blaine was massaging my hair, I wasn't sure how we got from Mortal Kombat to this. Must be the power of the Gay Force.

"Keeps me cool and…'popular with the ladies'" My inner Bond came out.

"Well Mr. Bond, perhaps you might want to get a change of style? I mean…he does get new gadgets all the time, why not a new look?" I raise my hands defensively.

"No no no. Some things are classic, like the suite…like my do, you dig?" Duh.

"Alright Alright, we'll wash it out soon"

BUZZ!

"Fight for it?"

"Huh?" I felt his fingers stop. I read Unique's words again.

"It's something Unique is telling me to do…" I did, I tried…wasn't it over? After Kitty, wasn't she just now another woman hurting me? My heart telling me to be around her was dumb to the truth: it was never going to happen.

"What would you be fighting for…Sam?" I hear his voice, he was worried.

"Just for my old life back" Blaine's hands guided my head into the sink, washing out the chemicals, his touch was nice. "I wish my high school life could have been…less crazy" To be honest, I just didn't want to be around much. McKinley held monsters darker than I could possibly imagine…Kitty flashed across my mind.

I shuddered.

"Sam!?" Blaine squeaked down at me. The water stopped, a towel was wrapped around my head. "Sam…" I was crying into his chest now…fuck. How can you get over something like THAT? I couldn't say anything…I… "Sam…" his hand rubbed up and down my back. "I spoke with Mr. Schue about setting up a privet session with talking to you, but even he said that we could not…Sam…what's going on?"

I cried harder.

"I can't Blaine, I can't" muffled in his chest. Tell another man I was stripped of my dignity and pride. It has to be my secret...

I pulled away, and looked into his eyes…he looked upset too.

Suddenly my brain began to flash and bang with feeling, eyes shut, hands on his shoulders. He kissed me, while I felt the fire of his thinner lips against mine I couldn't help but think of Kitty and Unique. I didn't fight him, he held me.

I didn't know if it was right or wrong, it was something that felt good. I felt less lonely. My sexual desires for Unique came up, as did the shameful ones for Kitty. I was so confused, I just didn't want to be alone.

We fell to the kitchen floor. He was on top of me, we still hadn't said anything. Our lips were locked together.

What about Kurt? I pushed him off, he gave a loud thud.

"STOP!" I could hardly see. I put the dry side of the towel up to my eyes…

"Sam…" I could hear him standing up.

"Why did you do that!?" I leaned over the sink, I felt sick.

"Because I see what you need"

"AND WHAT IS THAT?" Fuck, I slammed the towel into the kitchen counter. His hands touched me, I should have shrugged them off…but I didn't.

"You need someone to love you. You are in so much pain…Kurt doesn't love me anymore, he's in New York… too busy, and I felt like our friendship has changed Sam" he was looking at my face, I avoided his eyes. "We've become best friends…I feel like there is more between us…Sam" I looked at him wide eyed. I couldn't say I was attracted to…him…but the way he cared, and touched me…I wanted more.

BUZZ!

To get out of this situation I grabbed my phone that had fallen on the floor. I felt the towel jerked out of my hand.

"Sam…you're getting the floor wet…-" His voice tuned out. Mercedes was coming to visit Glee club this week…

'Sam, I keep hearing from everyone you are shutting people out and become introverted. I can't wait any longer. Something is wrong and I'm getting to the bottom of it' No, stay away…don't be the good part of my past that shows up.

I don't want to show you the man I've become. Blaine was drying my hair. I grabbed his wrist.

"Sam…" I used my power to pin him against the kitchen counter. I felt strong. "Sam!" his face was flinching. I smashed my lips against his.

Fuck Kitty, fuck Unique, fuck Mercedes, fuck off everyone.

"Love me Blaine" I demanded of him. He began to lift up my shirt with his other hand, I still pinned down his wrist.

"I will" I felt his words breathed out on my cheek. I threw the phone in a random direction, I heard it clank. "Don't be so viol-" I shut him up with my tongue in his mouth, he didn't seem to mind.

I was fighting for what I wanted.