Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you free

Today was the day. It was 11:15 in the morning and Fitz was milling around his hotel room wasting time. Today was the day he would take one giant step towards his presidency. Today, he would accept the Republican party nomination at the Republican National Convention. He was elated and nervous, all the stereotypical human emotions to be expected on such a momentous day. Yet, he still felt empty. He wasn't at the peak of happiness that he knew he should be. His campaign rose from the ashes of ten points down and smashed Sally Langston on super Tuesday, basically garnering him the bid. Fitz was never supposed to be in the running for this. He was just some pretty boy Governor from the sunny side of the country who had everything he wanted in life fed to him with a silver spoon. Now, this wasn't necessarily true but that was how the media was playing him. Somehow the man that had to work for everything—acceptance, credibility and love—was the most privileged man in the world. He was the David that had to overcome Goliath.

But he never would have made it here alone. He had his firecracker of a wife Mellie by his side for over twenty years constantly pushing him to reach his potential. His best friend Cyrus Rutherford-Beene who had been his confidant and advisor since he graduated from Harvard law. And of course there was Olivia Pope. The campaign fixer. The love of his life. Olivia saved him in more ways than one. She saved his campaign and his dreams of becoming President. She saved his soul and his heart. She saved his fantasies of true love existing. The moment she walked into his campaign headquarters four months ago he felt the attraction. An attraction that he could not find a way to explain. He had been attracted to plenty of women over the years, more frequently since his marriage turned irreparably sour over the past two years. But something about Olivia shook him into the very depths of his soul. Her large brown doe-eyes, the smooth mocha shade of her skin, the way her hair was curled to the highest level of perfection about her beautiful heart shaped face. He had to have her. And he got her, but he was going crazy over the fact that eventually they would be no more. His entire life he wanted nothing more than to become the ruler of the free world, and now all he wanted was to hold his Livvie in his arms for all of eternity; in this life, in death and into the next.

"Look happy, Fitz. This is a pivotal day!" He felt her petite arms wrap around his waist and her head rest on his left shoulder. He took in her scent and closed his eyes allowing the view from his window to vanish from his eyes.

"I am happy."

"You don't look happy. You look...I don't know how to describe it. But happy is not the first nor second thing to come to mind." He turned so he was looking at her and he was instantly breathless. Every time felt like the first time when looking at her. His legs would go weak and his head spin a little.

"What's troubling you?" He took her face in his hands and rested his forehead on hers.

"Nothing."

"You suck at lying."

"If that were true people wouldn't think I was blissfully in love with my wife." She chuckled quietly. Mellie had always been a touchy subject for them. He had to fight Olivia from constantly calling herself a whore for sleeping with a married man. Morals were everything to her, and regardless of his marriage being long past dead, it sometimes made her feel cheap being with him. He spoke about a future with her and he honestly meant it. He was at his end with Mellie, divorce being on his mind for a long time. His connection with his wife was very similar to that of his father: he couldn't stand him and yet he could never rid of him. The man haunted him, prying at his insecurities and manipulating him constantly. He knew he was better off isolating himself from him, but he could never completely get away. He was obligated to Mellie for being with him during the worst times of his life, but he couldn't be with her anymore. Now he had a reason to leave.

"You really want to know whats bothering me?" Fitz was leading her around the hotel room in small circles, imaginary music leading their waltz.

"Obviously. I only asked about three times. And you know I never ask for anything twice." He smiled and kissed her lips gently.

"I don't want to go out there and accept that nomination without you by my side. That is whats bothering me." Her eyes shifted into small slits as she glared at him.

"Fitzgerald—"

"You know it turns me on when you say my name like that." She stopped their rhythm and broke their embrace.

"I'm not playing around. We have had this discussion a million times! This...whatever we are, can never be more. It never should have started to be honest."

"We are way beyond the shoulda coulda woulda's. It did we happen. We did happen. We fell in love." She averted his gaze and he knew she was starting to retreat. "I'm starting to reconsider this."

"Reconsider what? Becoming president? Over a silly affair?"

"Liv, stop. This is serious."

"I'm the only one here being serious!"

"Look, the past few months with you have been the greatest of my entire life. I just feel so content with you. I don't have to be anything or anyone other than myself. I have been searching my whole life for this feeling. I thought it would come by winning a presidency but now...everything I knew before you was superficial."

"You know better." She sighed deeply and rubbed at her temples. "I love you, so so much. I don't think I have the words to explain how much I love you. But I know how much becoming president means to you. I want this for you. No, I need this for you. I can take any reason from you for backing down, but I cannot be it. You need something better than fresh love."

"Says who?" He closed the space between them and placed a kiss on her neck. Her body tensed for a moment then instantly relaxed.

"Says the supposed love of your life." He kissed his way up her neck to her cheeks and finally her lips.

"Not supposed. There is no question that you are the one." She fell into his kiss, her body completely entangled with his. Their lips moved against each other seamlessly, like air moving through the universe. His hands moved to the tiny buttons on her silk blouse. As he began to pry at them her hands rested on top of his halting him. She shook her head.

"We can't right now. We have work to do."

"Work can wait." He captured her lips again and lifted her into the air causing her legs to wrap around his waist tightly. She was laughing into his kiss, her sounds of happiness vibrating inside of him.

"Fitz." She said softly. He looked at her, the wide grin on her lips had faded to a simple smirk. "The country is waiting for you. Lets not keep them waiting forever." He thought about her words for a moment. He set her down and watched her as she grabbed her laptop from her bag by the dresser. As they went over his speech his mind was never completely focused. Her words were stirring around him. Fitz spent his entire life not following his own heart and pleasing others. He could never leave anyone else waiting. Fitz was tired of waiting.

Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here

"This is so exciting! We're one step closer to Pennsylvania Avenue!" Mellie was running around the green room tidying and touching things. She was so restless from her excitement at her becoming closer to the title of First Lady. She couldn't help herself when she got excited, she had to be in control, so she would just tidy up. Fitz watched her out of boredom. It was now 8:30 in the evening and he would be giving his speech at 9:15. His excitement from earlier had all died away as the moment grew closer. He was thinking himself into oblivion and being with his wife for the past five hours had driven him to the edge. So he watched her, hoping to find a morsel of what attracted him to her all those years ago. There was something beyond her bold strength and dedication to her goals that drew him to her. There was something, but for the life of him he could not remember what it was. Fitz concluded that the "something" was never there, but simply his rationalizing for marrying the wrong woman. He spent the past twenty years of his life trying to figure out why he would marry someone who wasn't the love of his life. He believed in love and miracles along with hard work and dedication. Marrying someone out of convenience was never in his plans. But, when Fitz wanted something he could never have it. He wanted to wait for love, but everyone else had political capital to gain. Life: two million. Fitz: zero.

"Did you tweak your speech today?" Mellie asked him which sent him back to reality. He nodded. He and Olivia worked on the final touches of his speech for about an hour before Cyrus came to grab her to get ready for the long day. He was sad that they didn't get to spend more time together. He knew that after today their time together would begin to dwindle.

"Well? How does it sound?" She was looking at him with this eagerness. She was living through Fitz, her desires to be in the oval working through him like puppet strings. She wanted to imagine herself up on that podium accepting the nomination. At this point Fitz was willing to switch places with her.

"Its magnificent. We worked really hard on it." She skipped over to the table covered in h'orderve's and drinks and grabbed herself a bottle of water. Fitzgerald felt like he was suffocating.

"I want a divorce." The words slipped from his mouth and for a moment he was scared shitless. Mellie's back tensed to a 180 degree position.

"I'm sorry, honey. I didn't hear what you said." She turned around slowly, a fake smile on her face. Fitz knew he was given the chance to take it all back, to change his mind and stick to the status quo and become president. But he didn't want to. He felt powerful.

"I want a divorce, Mellie. I can't do this marriage anymore."

"Excuse me?" She seethed. The smile was gone now and the true Mellie was revealed.

"Don't act like this marriage hasn't been over for years!"

"That is not the point here! You are twenty minutes away from walking out on stage in front of millions of viewers and accepting the nomination to run for president. You expect to keep your nomination, much less win with a scandal to start that off?"

"This isn't a scandal. I don't want to like to the American people or to myself anymore! They deserve better. I deserve better."

"Who else will walk around and wipe your ass like I do? I saved you, Fitz! When you were a little broken and shattered overgrown man child, I was around. I glued you back together, piece by piece, and turned you into a political powerhouse. You think you can keep this up without me? I will end you." A roaring laugh escaped from the pits of his belly. It was becoming hard to breathe, he was laughing so hard.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You!...Me!...Hell, I don't even know!" He choked out between breaths. "I just...I don't fucking care anymore! If I become president or not anymore, it honestly does not matter to me. I want it, I really do, but I want happiness more. I want to live. I can't live if I am still chained to you."

"What makes you think I will agree to a divorce? Are you even thinking about Jerry and Karen?"

"Mellie, the kids have literally come to me suggesting we split up. They are just as fed up with this shell of a marriage as I am."

"What the hell are you going to do? Walk on that stage and accept that nomination just to have it taken away?"

Fitz shrugged. He honestly had no fucks to give.

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground

As Fitz waited in the wings for his time to go on stage, he paced frantically. He was nervous. Could he really go out there and just use the speech he already had? Everything had changed in the past half hour and now nothing was certain. His entire speech was on the certainty that he was the perfect choice for this nomination and the country. He wasn't even sure where he would be sleeping tonight.

"You ready, Fitz?" Her voice sang to him. She was standing next to him looking at the monitor as the Governor of New Jersey was introducing him.

"I asked Mellie for a divorce." He could hear her neck crack as she turned to face him.

"You what?"

"I am getting a divorce and I am going to become president of the United States."

"Are you out of your mind? Why would you do that?"

"Because the American people deserve a president that is willing to be honest about all aspects of his life. I couldn't lie about loving her anymore. Not while loving you." They kept facing forward; they knew one glimpse at each other and they would fall apart.

"You cannot ruin your chances to be with me!"

"I am not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me. I deserve better. I deserve a first lady that loves and appreciates me and raises me up. I deserve you." He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her quickly.

The crowd erupted in applause and Fitz took the stage leaving Olivia before she could speak again. He embraced the governor then waved at the crowd. He took the crowd in; the American people were watching him now. They were waiting on him to sell himself to them. They were waiting on him to express his undying devotion to the woman he loves, his true first lady. They would vote him into office not simply for his political platform, but his complete honesty.

Because he was a man in love with an incredible woman.

And there was nothing more honest than that.

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy