Title: Free Cell
Pairings: Kamui/Yuzuriha, S/K
Notes: You know ... three months ago if you had asked me whether My Love and I would have a sequel I would have said 'no, nope, never, the ending is the ending take it for all it's horrible unsatistifyingness' because the fic completed what I wanted to convey. But the more I thought about it, the more these unbelievably funny and cute scenes kept popping into my head until finally I started to write them out at work about a month or so ago.

So yes, duh.. this is a sequel to My Love and I. It is not necessary that you have read Love to understand and enjoy this fic, but if you plan to read it you may want to do it before you read this one since this fic will likely spoil a lot of Love's plot for you I plan to make this much more "romantic comedy"-esque and not quite as philosophical ... but those of you who've read my work before know how good I am at that.

In addition, although My Love and I was almost exclusively an SxK fic, this one is not (at least I don't plan to make it hahahah). The principal relationship explored is Kamui/Yuzuriha. SxK does play a part in the story here-- especially in the second chapter-- but I consider it rather minor in the larger scope of the fic (sorry my SxK sisters, I just can't seem to let them be together and happy can I?) ;;;;;;

Lastly, about the title: might as well clear this up right now. It's a metaphor. Free Cell is a card game (PC users running Windows probably have it in Accessories Games) in which one must sort the cards in ordered piles by suits (similar to Solitaire) by moving the cards in and out of available cells. The trick is balance and foresight, move cards too recklessly and you'll trap yourself. The title serves as a metaphor for what Kamui must do in this fic, mainly juggle his loved ones around so that they all fall into order.

You know ... I think that's the longest introduction I've ever written for a fic ;;;;;;;;;;;;;

-Chapter 1-

"He's out."

"Really?"

"Like a light," Kamui nodded, closing the door gently behind him before he let go of the massive sigh he had been holding in. He did not try to hide his exhaustion as he flopped down on the couch, Yu wouldn't mind anyway she was probably just as tired.

"Aww and he missed the end of his movie."

The obscure children's video-- that both of them had seen a dozen times by now-- sat frozen on the screen, Kamui switched the pause mode in favor of the stop-eject and put it back in its case. "Yup."

"He'll be upset in the morning..."

"You mean after he recites the entire ending by heart? Yeah, I'm sure he'll be crushed."

"Oh Kamui..." she rested her head on his shoulder, a level of familiarity that Kamui allowed very few people. But they had been through too much for it not to be so, and on some days she seemed like an extension of himself. "Do I detect a hint of bitterness?"

"We've watched that movie 5 times already," Kamui groaned. "It's not even a good movie... Every Thursday I pray that he will pick another movie, any other movie. In my desperation I walked him past the X rated stuff in hopes that something would catch his eye that didn't include a handful of midgets."

"Dwarves," she corrected.

"Whatever..."

"And hey I would think you'd be happy about his appreciation for your kind, shorty." She giggled and rubbed his head tenderly. In her heels she was taller than him and she never quite let him forget that.

Kamui grumbled something nasty and rested his head on her lap. "There were no short Japanese men in that movie."

"If you say so grumpy."

He stuck his tongue out at her.

When Chiaki was learning to speak he had smiled broadly at Yuzuriha threw up his arms and proclaimed, "Mommy!"

"Yu-zu-ri-ha" Kamui had quickly corrected, but his son only blinked at him dumbly and insisted, "Mommy!"

"It's all right Kamui," Yuzuriha laughed as she lifted Chiaki up into a welcoming hug. "I don't mind if you don't."

"Well of course I don't mind." He had begun to think of them as one happy family himself, but he would never want to impose ... "but ... I figure ... you have a life of your own, I wouldn't want to trap you in this kind of responsibility."

Yuzuriha had a way of laughing at him like he was little more than a sweet but helplessly retarded child. And in many ways Kamui couldn't feel patronized when she patted him on the head and shoved a cookie in his mouth. He loved her for it.

"It's no trap," she assured him. "How could I ever live without you two in my life?"

"Neh," Yuzuriha snapped him out of his thoughts. "Are you going to fall asleep during our movie?"

Kamui yawned a little and shook his head.

"Long day at the office?"

"Brutal..." he yawned again. And almost as an after thought he murmured, "I have a parent teacher conference tomorrow morning."

"Again??"

Kamui nodded, "something about an impromptu revolt of kindergartners."

"You're kidding..."

"Nooo a few of the kids were so hysterical they had to cancel the class project."

"Oh dear..."

"Yeah..." Kamui agreed. "I don't quite know what to do with him myself. On one hand I think it's good that he's so spirited and confident, on the other..."

"You wish he wouldn't embarrass you quite so much," she smiled easily.

"Something like that..." Kamui muttered. "I can't explain it very well ... it's not really him, he's perfect just the way he is ... it's something..."

"Kamui ... it's okay to be dissatisfied. You've given up your whole life to raise this child, that's a noble thing but still there's no shame in feeling dissatisfied."

"I'm not dissatisfied with my life Yu. To be honest I didn't feel my life was mine to do as I pleased with for most of it anyway. It's hard to be bitter about that."

"Then you're dissatisfied with me."

Her comment shocked him. Never had it even occurred to him that he had a right to claim any such thing. He was not entitled to Yu's help and companionship, what right did he have to feel dissatisfied with it?

"Of course I'm not. Don't be ridiculous!" Then realizing how harsh and insensitive that sounded he amended. "I couldn't have gotten by without you."

She smiled knowing, "but I'm not the one you'd like to raise this child with."

"No... I wouldn't want Subaru to raise Chiaki with me."

"No? Why not?"

"Because ... Subaru ..." he laughed. "I want to say he wasn't a very stable person, but that's not really fair. I don't believe he would have done anything to hurt Chiaki or anything like that ... but ... he's still not the person I'd want playing parent with me.

"Besides, even if I did feel that way there'd be no point to wishing it. Subaru's gone, probably for good."

"And you have to make do with what you have."

"I'm sorry, I've offended you.."

"No you haven't Kamui. Had you told me you loved me more than Subaru-san I wouldn't have believed you."

"Daddy can we go to the zoo after?"

Kamui gripped the steering wheel as he nervously scanned the traffic for a place to maneuver. Traffic in this area of Tokyo at this time was murder, he should have remember that. They should have taken the train; whatever possessed him to think that the sea of cars would just part under his command? The world didn't spin for him anymore.

Well who was he kidding? The world never spun for him, quite the other way around.

"You sir, are in trouble." It was his best adult sounding voice. One he had spent years perfecting even though he didn't feel anymore like an adult now than he did four years ago.

"No zoo?"

"Absolutely no zoo."

This was his fourth parent teacher conference since school had started. It wasn't so much that Chiaki was a bad child as it was he had an extremely neurotic teacher who had made shaping Chiaki into the perfect scholar her personal crusade in life. Although Chiaki did do his share to provoke her hissy fits, ever since the rice ball incident she had Kamui's number on her speed dial and made frequent use of it too.

This time Chiaki had objected to the class project and had staged an environmentalist protest of four and five year olds. Practically a revolt, his teacher had said.

Well it was better than the last time, where Chiaki had attempted to explain the dog that only Mommy and Daddy could see and Hondo-sensei thought it was some bizarre sexual metaphor. Had that been an interesting meeting...

"But Daddy, balloon launches are bad cause the balloons come down and little baby seals choke on them. Hondo-sensei was going to murder the baby seals Daddy!!"

So you see, it wasn't his fault. He was really defending such a righteous cause.

"It was not Hondo-sensei's intention to do anything to hurt the baby seals Chiaki, and even if it were we show respect for our elders."

Yu had warned him this morning just before they left not to give into the sweetness and honesty of Chiaki's intentions. He had to lay down the law no matter how sympathetic he might feel towards his son's cause.

Who'd have thought that among them it would be Yuzuriha who turned out to be the down to earth one? She had been so idealistic and energetic as a child. But as an adult she had been a great asset to him, helping him since the very beginning where he hadn't a clue how to change a diaper let alone feed and protect a child.

He had always been fond of her, but in recent years he had grown even more fond of her. Enough for cute pet names and the occasional chaste kiss. And for Kamui, that was a lot.

They had been dancing around romance for the past four years. Kamui had already had two great loves in his life, a third seemed entirely unlikely. He never said this to Yu, but she seemed to understand as if he had. Kamui could not help feeling guilty that he could not give her more. Unfortunately, there was a parade of tragic loves great and small that had managed to cripple his ability to accept her fully.

He had often thought she deserved better, but she had fallen in love with the little boy in the back seat and there could be no shaking her now.

As it had been years ago, Kamui did not permit himself to think about Subaru often. If he convinced himself that Subaru was never coming back and the Sumeragi did it would be a pleasant surprise. If not then at least he could move on with his life. There were lonely nights sometimes, long after he had put Chiaki to bed where he would lie awake and allow himself to slip into his great weakness and think of the man. Memories would flood his body with hot sensations and he would find himself at his lowest, hoping futilely Chiaki didn't wake up and need to use the bathroom.

Never for a moment though, not even in those desperate midnight hours, did he regret leaving.

At night just before he went to sleep he would allow himself to hope that maybe, since his first love had returned to him the second one would to.

It was one of those silly things he thought about when his mind was on the edge of dreaming.

They finally pulled into the school parking lot. Traffic had made them ten minutes late and children were already racing about the playground as they waited for morning session to begin. He unbuckled Chiaki from his car seat and lead him firmly by the hand as the child's eyes roamed the playground longingly.

"Daddy can't I--"

"No, trouble remember?"

"Oh..."

Hondou-sensei was a nice enough woman, a little younger than Kamui with no children of her own. It was this last thing that added a touch of irritation to each one of these visits, not that Kamui felt being a parent somehow gave him a superior expertise to her degrees. But he sometimes felt her ideas about parenting were idealistic and without proper grounding.

She greeted him warmly as always and smiled at Chiaki with a dash of trepidation-- something Kamui found particularly amusing-- indicating to a place he might play while they talked.

"My concerned are as follows," she began. It was a quality Kamui admired, she was always straight to the point ... or perhaps it was because they were always ten minutes late for these meetings. "Chiaki displays little respect for authority and is unsophisticated in the ways of the world."

"Well ... he's four..."

She smiled with a pained and overly frustrated patience. "I meant for his age, he shows little enthusiasm for student government despite his obvious leadership qualities."

That CLAMP Campus kindergarten even had a student government was something Kamui found unquestionably ridiculous.

"He has a lot of potential that remains unfocused. Left to his own devices this could quickly develop into a host of vices that will be impossible to correct once he reaches adolescence."

Well good, thanks for the ten year warning on this disaster, Kamui thought irritably. The urge to roll his eyes was almost impossible to suppress. So Chiaki was an uncontrollable force of nature, well Kamui could have told her that.

"It is critical that as parent and teacher we work together to direct Chiaki's energy into healthily responsible habits. How much of the classics have you read him?"

"Well there's Momotaro and a few old fairy tales ... but we're both really more partial to more modern stuff."

Another pained smiled told him that yet again he had answered incorrectly. Maybe he had missed a chapter in the instruction manual that came with Chiaki? "I see ... how many chapters of the Kojiki?"

"What?"

"It's very important that he develops a clear sense of his culture and pride in his traditions, do you attend regular Buddhist or Shinto services?"

"Ahh ... we visit the Togakushi shrine once a year and then there the 'Black Year' memorial services ... but everyone goes to that so I suppose that doesn't count..."

"Shirou-san," she addressed him respectfully but sternly. "Do you realize how important cultural identity is to your son's development?"

"We go to all the festivals," Kamui offered meekly.

Hondou-sensei seemed defeated by her failure to instill Kamui with his proper parental insanity and changed gears, throwing them into a far more uncomfortable topic. "What about your ex-wife?"

It seemed to be her retreat policy to bring this up. Yu was not a subject he liked discussing in this context because he never felt particularly comfortable side stepping the truth. Yu was not his ex-wife since technically, they had never been married. But it was much easier to let people assume that than to explain that Yu had been a support that helped him live through the ordeal of raising the child he had suddenly decided to adopt. That she was not Chiaki's mother anymore than he was Chiaki's father and that there had been no inclination of romance between them before the child came into the picture. That they lived in separate apartments not because they were divorced but because they were just close friends.

Plus he hated out right lying about it, knowing that eventually these lies would come back to him.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't read him anything like the Kojiki..."

"Really? I'm surprised," Hondo-sensei replied with a tad bit of smugness. It was no secret that the reason Kamui always got stuck in these meetings was because Yu and Hondou-sensei had a mutual animosity for one another. A professional jealousy really, Yu as an adjunct graduate student got more respect for teaching on a college level, while Hondo-sensei got paid better and had job security. Kamui often wondered if Hondo-sensei suggested things like starting Chiaki on French to prove to them all that she could match their level of sophistication, or whether she followed this philosophy for all her students.

Kamui squirmed in his seat and wondered why he and Chiaki always got caught in the crossfire of their resentment. He was a highschool dropout, it's not like anyone should need to flaunt their degrees at him. Still he endured each one of these meetings silently since-- although he may not be skilled at optimizing his son's potential-- he was pretty sure watching his mother rip out his teacher's throat and beat her to death with it would not be favorable to his developing authority problems.

"I mean really ... incest, murder, the skinning of a pony alive ... what was I thinking? This is perfect bedtime story material!"

He could hear Yuzuriha's childlike giggle on the other end. "You need to stop taking this stuff so personally Kamui."

"They think I'm a bad father."

"No, they just want to ensure that they give Chiaki every opportunity available to him."

Kamui grumbled something unintelligible under his breath and with a sigh threw his feet up on his desk. "I know his education is important, but what's the point of forcing him to understand something he's too young to appreciate? They don't want him to excel they want him to sit up and bark on command."

There was a muted shuffle and the sound of Yuzuriha murmuring something to another in the room.

"Yu? Jesus I'm sorry, I'm holding you up at work aren't I?"

"No, no, it's all right. I just have a class in a minute."

That was a polite 'yes but I love you anyway' Kamui nodded to himself and made his excuses quick. "Well I should be getting back to things here myself. Thanks for leaning an ear."

"Anytime Kamui I'll meet you for dinner tonight and you can rant about it properly okay?"

Kamui did some quick calculations, he picked Chiaki up from daycare at 5, ran some errands and made the kid something to eat ... he could probably enforce an early bed time as punishment for Chiaki's behavior and then have a pizza ordered by 7:30 and a bottle of wine. He sighed, "that sounds great."

"Good, I'll see you tonight then."

One of these days Kamui would learn to take the subway. One of these days he was going to sell his car and just start walking every where, because traffic in Tokyo was so horrible and so unpredictable he would probably get places much faster if he walked. The problem was that Tokyo was also incredibly unbalanced, still raising from its ashes. Some areas were congested and overpopulated and some areas were barren and abandoned. Subways had constant delays and construction ... lines didn't even run to all the districts yet.

And if the rows and rows of endless cars proved anything it was that transportation in Tokyo was a nightmare.

While he rested his head on his steering wheel he glanced at the clock, 4:55, great. He was going to be late picking Chiaki up from daycare.

Frustrated he turned and parked his car at the curb. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, might as well take ten minutes for fresh air and stretch his legs. If traffic hadn't cleared up by then he'd call the daycare and tell them he'll be late.

He was also illegally parked, but what the hell did he care? If they wanted to tow his car they'd have to get thrown this traffic first.

The only pleasant thing about his situation is that he was only a block from the park. It used to be Ueno Park, but housing development projects had eaten up some of its land and it had been renamed. Kamui couldn't remember the new name, which was funny because he was in the real-estate business. One would think he'd pay more attention to these things.

The blossoms were wilting. The petals fluttering towards the ground and for the first time Kamui had known they were not replaced with lush buds of sweet perfumed flowers. It was later spring and the Sakura was shedding it's blossoms to make way for hungry green leaves.

Ofuda-- drained of their power-- had fallen to the ground some time ago. They tumbled a few steps whenever the wind picked up like old spirits dancing on the grass. But otherwise they were dead, lifeless, empty.

Kamui stared at the scene he had wandered upon quite unconsciously. He had not been to this place in four years. Though at night when his bed was cold he sometimes longed to see Subaru again he would never allow himself to think of coming here. If Subaru was to be found here then he had not finished what he must do, and in that case there was no point in seeing him.

But tonight he found the most frightening sight had lured him from the citizens enjoying the early evening as it set in the park. Drawn him even, from his car in the mist of traffic to this spot, draw him out of his very life.

Green eyes stared with a dreary and drugged expression. There were smiles in those eyes, but there was also the most haunting peace. Like a peace of death.

"Subaru.."

When he started running, he could not stop. He slid in the mud and landed soundly on his knees next to the man. Pants cake thickly with mud he moved to touch the body that was cradled between the giant roots of the Sakura. "Subaru!"

Subaru turned his head and smiled vacantly. His eyes shifted toward the ceiling of fluttering petals above them with a child's fascination. "Kamui ... Isn't it beautiful?"

Surely the Sakurazukamori was connected to the Sakura but does that mean if the Sakura loses it's dark power that the Sakurazukamori dies? He shook Subaru a little trying to awaken him from his trance-like state. "Subaru, snap out of it."

"Kamui..." Subaru smiled faintly. "I did it ... I really did it."

Subaru had been unconscious for nearly threes hours. He had passed out in Kamui's car-- which by some miracle of God was speeding down empty streets-- and not regained consciousness for more than a few seconds since then.

Kamui was more than willing to admit he was terrified. Subaru looked almost too peaceful, almost too airy, like his life had been drawn out of him leaving only a beautiful but empty shell.

Too gentle...

According to the doctors there was nothing wrong with him. No reason why he should be floating in and out of a comatose state. No reason for him to be in that comatose state in the first place. And therefore, most frustrating, nothing they could do but wait.

He squeezed Subaru's hand a little as if trying to nudge him awake. It was foolish and useless but he had been there for hours and would likely be there all night.

...wait

"Shit!" Kamui hissed as he shot out of his seat and raced out into the hall. He had forgotten ... how could he have forgotten?

"Oh god, oh god, oh god..." His finger could not dial the numbers fast enough. He had given everything up for this one promise that was most important to him, and now he had let it all slip away so foolishly.

"Hello?"

"Yuzuriha! It's me--"

"Kamui Shirou you have better be dead and locked in the bowels of a fiery hell," Kamui pulled the receiver a little away from his ear so Yuzuriha's yelling didn't make him deaf. "I'm going to kill you."

"I know, I know ... I'm sorry ... I'm really really sorry--"

"Don't tell ME you're sorry, tell the little boy who was left standing alone in the dark for a few hours because his dad forgot about him. He was in tears when I got to him Kamui, tears and he's been worried sick all night because you weren't answering the phone and know one knew where the hell you were--"

"Yuzuriha I'm at the hospital."

There was a brief pause on the other end. He was sure Yuzuriha had heard him if only because she had stopped yelling at him. "Oh my God what happened?"

"I found Subaru. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I know I should have called you and asked you to pick Chiaki up but I found him and I wasn't sure if he was hurt or dying or what ... so I just dragged him to my car and drove to the hospital as fast as I could and everything happened so fast I completely forgot--" he banged his head against the wall. "I'm the worst father in the world I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry--"

"Forget it, it wasn't a problem, how's Subaru-san doing?"

Kamui sighed and leaned up against the pay phone. "They don't know, he's been wobbling in and out of consciousness. He's alive, not very stable ... but alive. I'm going to stay here, will you take care of Chiaki for the night?"

"Suresure, no problem. I'll pick up his things from your apartment tomorrow and he can spend a few days here with me."

"That would be great," Kamui smiled. "Thanks Yu ... how is he?"

"Scared out of his mind, but nothing permanently scarring. He'll get over it as soon as he knows you're safe and haven't abandoned him. Hey ... you want to talk to him?"

"Sure, put him on."

There was the sound of shuffling and Yuzuriha speaking very gently to the sound of sniffling in the background. Kamui felt his guilt go up yet another notch. Jesus he really had been crying hadn't he?

"Dad?"

"Yeah ... I'm here. Listen I know I was suppose to pick you up today and I'm so sorry I didn't get there, but a really good friend of my is very sick and I couldn't leave him alone. Are you okay?"

When raising a child for four years one became remarkable skilled at certain things. Like recognizes the sound of nodding over the phone for example.

"Uh-uh, they called Mom and she came to pick me up."

"Good, you're going to stay with her for a couple of days okay? So be good. I'll be over to see you tomorrow."

And on schedule came the out pouring of confessions of crimes both real and imagined from the four year old's mouth, as if Kamui was just telling him a story and he really was abandoning him because he had been such an unbearably bad child. "... and I'm sorry I stole a cookie out of the cookie jar when I thought you weren't looking. I'm sorry about the seals--"

"Hey-hey, easy there," Kamui smiled. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you Chiaki. I just want to make sure there's someone to take care of you okay? My friend might need me right now, but I'll be back. Don't you worry, I'm not going anywhere okay?"

More nodding sounds.

Kamui glanced at his watch even though he knew perfectly well what time it was. "Now I notice that it is way passed your bedtime, so why don't you go get ready for bed?"

"Okay Dad, Bye."

"Sleep well,"

"You two," Yuzuriha's voice had returned. "Are just too adorable. Really you make me all sparkly."

Kamui let go of the groan he was holding in while he eased his young charge's mind. "Okay, tell me honestly ... how upset was he?"

"Oh I told you, he'll be fine once he sees you haven't stopped loving him for one of his unforgivable offensives-- I heard him give you the list, ah the things we feel guilty over as children..."

"I just can't believe I could forget. It's like I saw Subaru and all I could think about was getting him help."

"It's understandable, you were panicked. And he'll be fine Kamui, it's not like it's the first time he's crashed here you know? He wasn't even waiting for that long, the daycare women called me after a half an hour. You worry about Subaru-san, I'll take care of the little one ... deal?"

"Okay,"

"Pinkie swear?" Yuzuriha prodding him.

"That's a little difficult over the phone isn't it?"

"No excuses from you, you make Subaru-san you're top priority right now!"