just a one shot DON'T read this if you're not okay with suicide and stuff okay?

In-Between

"Clare…? Are you home?" the voice sounded just like mom's, tired from work just like every day she'd come home from a long day. "Clare, honey?" it was mom no questions asked about it. She knocked on a door. But I kept my eyes closed. The door knob clicked "Clare Edwards! Answer me. I saw your shoe's near the door…" she screamed that lead into a sobbing, I finally opened my eyes, seeing the same four walls that I hate covered in posters of people I love. I was sitting on my bed, my messy bed. Mom was still crying saying 'no' over and over again; I followed her eyes to find out why she was so upset. I gasped. Me. she was looking at me, she was crying over me…I had finally done it, ended my life. But I thought once you died you stopped seeing and moving, hearing, feeling, breathing….That everything stopped. Why am I still here if I'm hanging from the ceiling?

Mom stood and ran out of the room still crying I could hear her yelling and crying in panic on the phone most likely. I stood and walked over to my hanging body, my pale, cold hanging body I went to touch my hand but, my hand went right through the cold one.

"What…?" I questioned quietly "what is going on?" I whispered. I heard the sirens coming down the street from an ambulance that I could see from my bedroom window. Mom ran out as dad ran over to her, she must have called him too. Her face now red and puffy from so much crying. I wish dad would have found me so mom wasn't so much of a mess. The paramedics ran in with a stretcher. could they see me…? No they can't. I'm not alive, but what am I if I'm still here…I wish my questions would get answered.

They checked my body hanging from the ceiling. Checking for a pulse but of course, didn't find one. The lady paramedic shook her head "she's gone…" she said to the man in the same uniform as her that stood beside her. The lady went to call it in to the station as the man took my body down and carefully set my body down on the stretcher, he looked sad like he's seen this before and is trying to handle it better.

"Where is she? Where is my daughter? Just let me see her!" dad had run up the stairs and the lady paramedic is trying to calm him, I walked out into the hallway and saw dad push past her and into my room "she's not dead, you're crazy, why would you eve…" he stopped mid-sentence and dropped to his knees "no…NO!" He cried, dad never cried in all my life, he was the tough guy and because of me he broke, I ruin things and now seeing mom and dad cry it made me want to cry because I caused this. I closed my eyes trying to stop from crying.

"Why are you sad, Clare?" I jumped opening my eyes, and a girl, someone I've seen before stood in front of me. One who had killed herself just like me a couple years back. She still looked the same like she hasn't aged in forever. Behind her was a boy one from a couple months ago that was also bullied to death.

"Why…I." I choose not to answer her, but looked around. Mom, dad, and the paramedics were all gone and everything was a grey tone it was like I wasn't in real life anyone. I was still in the hall way though.

"Clare, you never answered me" she said. Alli. That's her name I remember now and Wesley was the boy. "because…because I just ruined my parent's lives" I said "what... Why I am here... and where am I?' I asked.

"and yours." Alli mumbled but Clare didn't hear her.

"Well..." Wesley started "you're in, in-between" he said.

"In-between?" I questioned.

"Yes, it's where people like you and I go, to be shown what could have been if we stayed alive "he explained.

"How do you even know how I died?" I asked.

"I tell them" a dark voice said, I couldn't see his face it's like it was only full of darkness but carried a voice "I tell them cause I know how everyone dies, but this place is special, I show you what you could have done in your life if you hadn't of killed yourself"

"I really don't care what could have been" I told the man.

"We have to go; we have another lost soul to save… Bye" Alli said with a smile and her and Wesley disappeared.

"Come, watch" he said, I walked closer to him

"I don't understand why you want me to see this, it's not like I can change what I did" I told him he moved his hands in every which way and something started playing.

A man opened a door to a house a new house, -he had dark brown hair so dark it looked black, and green eyes. - throwing his keys in his pocket after. He held balloons and a car seat for a newborn and set them on the couch in the beautifully decorated living room. Then a lady walked in she had light brown hair and bright happy blue eyes. She sang to the new baby only a couple days old. "home sweet home, Anna" she said smiling down at the baby with a little bit of black hair on the top of its head. The man walked over.

"Go have a shower I'll watch her" he said, she looked at him with hesitant.

"I...uh...I" she didn't know what to say she didn't want her baby hurt.

"I won't hurt her; I would never do that to you or our baby" he looked her in the eyes and she nodded with a smile. It was like he read her mind in that moment.

"Okay, thank you, Eli." she pasted him the baby, then kissed him and quickly run up the stairs. An Eli walked over to the couch and sat down holding the baby and run a finger down its little face.

It stopped, whatever he just showed I stopped and I looked up at the tall no faced man "why did you show me that?" I asked "that wasn't even me." I said the man chuckled and nodded

"It was you Clare, you living your life" he started "it's because in this story of your life, you told someone, your mom, dad, and therapist. They helped you get better. They helped you with you self-harm, depression, anxiety. They even reported the guy that raped you, and he got caught, you even won the trial against him, you won. And he got thrown in prison" he took a breath "Clare; you started living life once more but were still scared everything would break again, until you met Eli. He helped more than him and you even know, you saw him that was Eli, he…"

I cut him off "why, why are you telling me all this, I can't change what I did, I'm gone now and stuck here" I cried "forever and always" I took a deep breath.

"Are you sure…?" no face asked

I nodded "yeah..."

"Close your eyes" I did "now open….'

I opened my eyes with a gasp, sitting straight up in my bed; I looked around "it…it was just a dream..." I sighed. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand, it was 5:34. Mom was still home. And it was … the day I was going to kill myself. I threw my phone on my bed and got out and kneeled down and grabbed the rope from under my bed, I looked at it in my hands and thought for a while. Do I want to meet Eli? And hold that baby in my arms? And get help? I think I want to actually, but if I tell mom. She'll be so disappointed in me. I stood up and went down stairs, I found her in the kitchen drinking her morning tea watching the morning news "mom?" she turned around.

"Oh, honey. Hi, good morning" she looked at me "what are you holding?" she asked I held the rope up "mom, I want help, I was going to kill myself while you were at work today...and I don't want to do that now' she got up and hugged me tightly.

So I wrote this for this short story thing I had to do in English and I just changed it so it had Degrassi characters in it Umm….yeah depressing stuff, I know but that's what I write so you enjoy it or you don't, review?

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

Xoxo