004.
7.30.99
Hermione
ยป
Her eyes were glossy with tears that she hadn't shed. Her head was pounding with a hangover that she didn't drink herself into. Her muscles ached with fatigue of a workout she hadn't planned. Most mornings, she was awoken by her vividly terrifying nightmares. Not this morning. This morning, she woke feeling fully rested and without fear. Instead, regret was flooding her. And disgust. She was so disgusted with herself... with Sirius. Her body had betrayed her. She'd wanted to shove the man away, but every time she tried she just ended up pulling him closer. And now here she lay, nude and curled up against him. Even now, her body still ignored all logic. She craved his warmth and the scent of his bare skin was filling her nostrils. She'd never smelled something so wonderful. She'd never felt something so amazing.
Of course, she was a virgin. She was Hermione, the bookworm. Not Hermione, the slut. But she supposed now she was a slut, or, at least, in her own eyes she was. Everyone else would just view what she did as abiding by the law. She viewed it as going against her morals. They hadn't even used protection.
She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing more than anything to just disappear into thin air. But she didn't. She was still nestled against Sirius, her head resting gently on his inked chest and her lithe frame cradled by his arms. She listened to his breathing. Inhale, one second, exhale. Inhale, one second, exhale. Inhale, one second, exhale. She pondered as to how she could be both frantically anxious and perfectly tranquil all at once. She came up short with an answer.
For a long while, she just stared up at his stubbly chin, her mind blank. It wasn't until a ray of sunlight leaked through the window's curtains that she finally and gently pulled herself away from Sirius. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around herself. She was completely naked in front of a man that was not her father. She felt beyond uncomfortable. Hermione knew he'd seen it all already, but she still couldn't help herself. Luckily, her movement hadn't woken Sirius and she managed to make it to the bathroom without disrupting him. The last thing she wanted to do right now was confront him. Just thinking about how uncomfortable it would be shot a shiver down her spine.
Peering down at her body, Hermione caught her lower lip between her teeth. She had bruises caked on her inner thighs. Her gaze lifted to the mirror. Her hair was wild, her lips were swollen and parted, and hiding on her neck was a dark hickey.
She groaned and covered her face with her hands, her stomach churning.
How could she have acted so foolishly? She should have shoved him away, told him to get out of her apartment, demanded he never come back. But she didn't. She wanted to beat herself up. But Sirius had already done that, and she'd loved it.
Shaking her head, she snatched a hair tie and pulled the mess that she called hair up haphazardly. She splashed water on her face, willing herself to wake from this horrible nightmare. She didn't want to believe that this was reality. She'd already dealt with enough, what with fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts. This was just the icing on the cake. Or, rather, the icing in her cervix.
Unwillingly, Hermione silently opened the door again, peeked out to ensure that Sirius hadn't woken yet, then tip-toed over to steal a sheet from her bed and wrap it around her body. This time, however, she did disrupt the man.
He snored loudly, abruptly. As he lifted his arms out from underneath the sheet to stretch them, he blinked open his eyes. Hermione froze, as if she'd been caught doing something despicable. Her own eyes were wide and observing. Her heart was hammering in her chest. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet. She was dreading it.
When Sirius's gaze focused on Hermione, he cracked a small smile. "Good morning," he greeted, his voice deeper than usual with lingering fatigue.
"...Morning." Hermione responded, hesitantly sitting down on the bed beside him. Small talk. Good. She still had to collect her thoughts for when they discussed the previous night, if they did.
"Did you sleep well?" Sirius yawned, sitting up as well.
"Mhm." Hermione nodded before pursing her lips. She could almost feel the tension in the air. She tried to avoid his dark eyes. She'd stared into them far too much the night before.
Sirius cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. He hesitated before turning to Hermione and scanning her face with concern. "I didn't hurt you at all, did I?"
At his question, Hermione finally looked at Sirius. He was worried that he'd hurt her? She blinked, her eyebrows tugging together in confusion. "No, it... um," she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear awkwardly, her gaze dropping and her cheeks reddening. "It felt good actually," she admitted sheepishly. "I am a little... sore though."
Sirius grinned slightly, conspicuously embarrassed as well. "I'm sorry. I just, uh... I haven't done that in a long, long time. I might have went overboard."
Hermione shook her head, disagreeing. "If you went overboard then I'm glad you did. It was amazing." Somehow, she felt both frigid and relaxed all at once. She felt closer to Sirius now. He was no longer a father figure to her. He was no longer someone who she solely viewed as a friend. All anxiety washed away from her. It seemed easier now to look at him, hear his gentle voice, accept him and what they had done. She couldn't say that she was alright with what was going on, but she could say that she no longer was entirely opposed to it.
A smile of her own tugged at her lips, despite the embarrassment flitting around inside of her. She was feeling daring, and curious. But most of all, she was feeling the effects of Oxytocin.
Before Sirius could respond, Hermione climbed into his lap, weaved her fingers through his hair and gently molded her lips to his. She could tell he was surprised by her action by the way he tensed. Soon enough, the tension died down and he rested his hands on her waist, returning her kiss eagerly. Their lips mingled just as they had done the day before and before they knew it, they were connecting their bodies once again. This time, Hermione did not feel rueful. She did not feel disgusted. She felt blissful.
As the two were laying back down in bed together, somehow they fell into discussion about the war. They spoke for hours, comforting one another, expressing opinions, expressing agreements. Hermione told him all about what happened after he'd been trapped in the Veil, and Sirius told her all about what happened before she was even born. They went on and on, talking all day about everything - Hogwarts, Professors, Harry, the Weasleys, Voldemort, their home lives. Sharing one particular event concerning the erasing of her parents' memory of her, brought Hermione to tears.
It was as Sirius was holding Hermione and pressing a kiss to her head as tears slid down her cheeks that she realized it.
The Ministry of Magic was right. They were a perfect match.
A/N: I'm so sorry this is so short! And I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile! I've been going through a lot lately and haven't had the will or the time to get on FanFiction. But now I'm back and ready to continue writing.
(If you don't know what Oxytocin is, it's the "love" hormone released in women when they have sex, give birth, or breastfeed.)
Please review! No flames, please. If you didn't like it, tell me what you didn't like and suggest how I'd fix it. Constructive criticism is my best friend.