Author's Note: To my faithful readers-I'm sorry I've been slacking! I will try to update my other stories soon. Life has been hectic, and add some writer's block to that and hopefully you can understand why I've been MIA. To my new readers-I hope you enjoy! You may have gathered that I'm not the most consistent author, but I'm planning this as a collection of HP one-shots, so hopefully the wait isn't as bad as with chaptered stories.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, it belongs to the wonderful JK Rowling.

The Deepest Desire of Severus Snape

Severus Snape put down his quill and looked up from his grading to glace at the clock. It was past midnight. He sighed, but coming from him the noise sounded more like an unpleasant rasp. He gathered up his students' less than satisfactory work and left his office, locking the door behind him. He fully intended to go straight to bed, but a now familiar impulse took over him. Snape willed it to go away—he had been giving into it much too often recently. Especially since that boy had come to Hogwarts. Nevertheless, he found his feet diverting him of their own accord. He soon found himself in front of door, quite unremarkable from its fellows. Yet, Snape knew that behind the door was something very special.

He looked down the hallway both ways to make sure no one would come upon him. As a professor, Snape was not subject to the scrutiny of students; however, if one of his colleagues discovered him there they would ask questions. Snape did not want them to know of his weakness. He pushed the door open and crept in silently. It was a classroom, disused and empty save for the ornate mirror placed against the back wall. Severus Snape was a clever man, and it had not taken him long to discover the mirror's power. Yet he could not prevent himself from falling under its spell.

He knew what he would see in the Mirror of Erised; he had seen it many times before. Still, he approached the mirror cautiously, both dreading and hoping it would not show him what he wanted to see. A face slowly formed before his eyes. It was a woman's face, with brilliant green eyes and fiery red hair. It was Lily Evans' face. Severus sank to his knees in front of the mirror, tossing the homework he had been grading aside. He pressed his hands to the cool glass of the mirror, wishing he could sink through it to be with her.

The sight of the woman he loved thrilled him. Here, through the mirror, he could be with Lily as he'd never been with her in life. And in the mirror was the only way he could set eyes on her again. He had never had photos, and if he'd had, he would have had to destroy them. Owning pictures of the mother of the Dark Lord's vanquisher would not have made him very popular with the Death Eaters. They would have made it impossible for him to turn spy and try to undo what he'd done.

The sight of the woman he loved tormented him. Whenever Snape visited the mirror, he was tortured with the thought that he could have prevented her death. He could have begged the Dark Lord for her life. He could have gone to Dumbledore sooner. He could have disposed of that worthless vermin Wormtail before he had the chance to betray the Potters. There were a hundred more things he could have done to save Lilly Evan's life, if only he had thought of it.

"Lily… Oh, Lily," Snape moaned. He buried his face in his hands and, though he did not weep, Severus Snape felt his soul breaking into even more pieces. He wondered how many more times he could endure this feeling before it destroyed him.

When he had gained something akin to his composure, Snape pulled his face out of his hands. He stared into Lily's eyes for a long time, watching her smile and wave at him. Finally, he gathered up the discarded parchment and pulled himself, with great difficulty, to his feet. When he turned to the door, there was someone standing in front of it.

"I did not expect to find you here, Severus," Albus Dumbledore said quietly.

Snape was too wounded to explain himself. He stared at Dumbledore without seeing him, his dark eyes showing more emotion than the old man had seen in many years.

"It is Lily, isn't it?" the headmaster asked wisely.

The potions master did not nod, but the slight jerk of his head was answer enough for Dumbledore.

"Severus, you must know the danger of this mirror."

Snape closed his eyes and bowed his head. "It's the only way I can see her, Albus."

"Yes… but it is tearing you apart." Dumbledore replied. "I came here tonight hoping to find another here, hoping to warn him against using the mirror. But it seems you too have fallen under its spell. How long have you been coming here, Severus?"

Snape shrugged. Then he felt compelled to ask, "Who else has been using it?"

"Her son," Dumbledore said, nodding to the mirror where Lily's image was only just still visible to Snape. "And I imagine he sees her too."

"With Potter," Snape spat, but it didn't have the same venom it usually did.

"Yes, I should think so."

"The boy didn't even know her, how can he justify—"

"Severus!" Dumbledore interrupted sharply. "You cannot judge what another sees in the mirror. I suggest that you stop coming here. Shortly I will have finished my work with the mirror, and it will be gone. You are a sensible man, Severus. Don't ruin your life by wondering what might have been."

"My life is already ruined," Snape returned and he tried to stride past Dumbledore.

The headmaster continued to bar the way. "That is not true, and you know it! You have done much to help us. If you continue to watch over Harry, I believe you will do even more good."

"Who says I've been watching over him?" Snape demanded. He pushed past Dumbledore again, and this time the old man let him through.

The next night, Dumbledore also warned Harry Potter of the mirror's power and of its inevitable disappearance. When Severus Snape went back to the classroom a week later, the Mirror of Erised was gone.