And now for another story of which I shall try to update while working on others and dealing with the pressures of life. Enjoy! :D

Summary: WG and Fanatic are hired as security guards for the House of Mouse. How hard could guarding a club full of DISNEY characters be? …This is where we find out.

And disclaimer claims neither I nor Fanatic97 own any of the Disney, Transformers, Calvin and Hobbes, or Kingdom Hearts characters that will appear in this story.

My Kitty: Meow. *Translation: "This is going to be trippy."

Ignore my sarcastic cat who just lost her catnip mouse privileges, and LETS GET THIS STORY ROLLING!

*o*

It was a typical night at the House of Mouse. Beloved Disney stars pulled up to the club for a night of entertainment, watching a few Mickey Mouse cartoons, and seeing O'Mally and the Ally Cats perform (hoping the band wouldn't get cancelled or delayed THIS time). Everything was going smoothly: The cartoons were good, none of the villains were causing too much trouble, and Goofy only goofed up five times. It was all well…

*KA-BOOM!*

…up until the security guard got blasted back by Vinny's dynamite, regardless that his comrades from the Atlantis journey told him time and time again to leave it at home. When the security guard had tried to confiscate it, he only ended up hitting the detonator, which was the reason why he was planted against the brick, plastered wall.

"That's it! I QUIT!" The security guard shouted, prying himself off the wall and heading for the exit.

"Wait, don't go!" Mickey cried, rushing up in front of him. "I know this isn't the easiest job in the city, but you have to understand-"

"No, YOU have to understand, Mouse! I've been electrocuted, set on fire, pied in the face FIVE TIMES, hit on by two evil stepsisters, caught an allergic reaction to pixie-dust, not to mention that waiter of yours spilled ten plates of spaghetti on me all at once… AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE AN HOUR!" he pushed Mickey aside and stormed out the door. "And in case you haven't noticed, I'M NOT SUICIDAL!"

…he said this as he stood in the middle of the street, only to get hit by a bus.

Mickey stood outside the front door with Minnie at his side, hanging his head low. "Oh, Mickey, what are we going to do?" Minnie asked, laying a hand on his shoulder. "That was the 37th security guard this month!"

"I guess they don't make them like they used to," Max said, trying to lighten things up.

"Ah, that guy was a wimp anyway," Donald scoffed. "I'd do a better job watching this place!"

"So who's next on the list?" Daisy asked.

"No one, that was the last one the agency said they would send us," Mickey sighed, shaking his head.

Suddenly, Pete drove up, smirking. "Not having any problems with security, are you, Mouse?" he asked, slyly. "Because you know what I told you before…"

~Flashback~

Pete and Mickey stood outside the House of Mouse, a month prior. "Alright, Mouse, I've been noticing a lack of security around here, lately. Either you find yourself a good security guard, or this place gets shut down!" Pete was demanding.

Mickey shrugged. "Security Guard? That will be easy," he said.

"You'd think that, wouldn't you? Word on the street that there's been quite a few loonies running around… and if I find out there's been anything dangerous happening in or around this club, you can kiss this place goodbye! Do we understand each other?"

"Don't worry about it. I hire only the best!"

~Present~

Mickey's shoulders slumped. "Um, well, we've been looking into it, but haven't found anyone suitable for the job JUST yet- but we've still got plenty of resources, so don't try anything just yet!" he lied.

Pete burst out laughing. "HA! I've seen the guys leaving this place! Only a complete MANIAC, filled with every kind of INSANITY, who was absolutely PSYCHO, would sign up for the job!" he teased.

*descending whistle*

A large shadow covered Pete's car just then. "What the…?" he looked up.

*CRASH!*

A giant safe landed on the car (Pete included), and the door opened, revealing the two authors, Wherever Girl and Fanatic97. "Did someone say 'psycho'?" Fanatic boasted.

"And insanity?" WG added.

"AND MANIAC?" They exclaimed together.

"Oh no…" Max groaned, covering his face. "It's my brother's crazy girlfriend, and one of her even crazier friends."

"Thank you, Max… for that MARVELOUS introduction," WG said with a smirk, then turned to the reader. "Anyone who can guess where that quote comes from gets a cookie-"

"OH! Hocus Pocus!" Fanatic exclaimed, sticking his hand in the air.

"DARN IT, FANATIC! THAT WAS FOR THE READER!"

"Sorry. …Do I still get a cookie?"

"Um, who exactly ARE you kids?" Mickey asked, a bit confused and startled.

"We're just two authors looking for a job…" WG said, smiling while rocking on her heels.

"And from the sounds of it, you've got a position open!" Fanatic added, while munching on a cookie.

"Well, are you sure you're qualified?" Minnie asked. "This job is a tad, er, hazardous."

"Are you kidding? They just dropped out of the sky in a SAFE!" Donald snapped.

"…What the heck was that all about, anyway?" Max asked, looking at the safe.

"Lets just say, the employees at Wal-Mart don't like to be messed with after 3 AM with loony antics," Fanatic answered.

WG rubbed her hands together. "So! When can we begin?" she asked. "Because I'm saving up for a college tuition and need the cash, and babysitting is getting me nowhere."

"Uh, lets start with an interview, first. Right this way," Mickey said, albeit nervously, as he and the others showed the two authors the way in.

Pete stuck his hand out from under the safe, waving it wildly. "Hey! Someone get this thing off me!" he shouted in a muffled voice.

*o*

After an interview, going over a few references, and going over a few rules, Mickey decided to hire the two authors… mostly out of desperation, considering they were his only solution. "I'm glad you guys are willing to work here," the famous mouse said to them, shaking their hands. "Now, are you sure you'll be willing to handle the hours, let alone any oncoming mayhem?"

"Hey, we've dealt with worse," Fanatic assured.

"Yeah, there's nothing we can't handle," WG said… then her eyes bugged out. "OH MY GOSH! IS THAT BELLE AND THE BEAST?!" she then whipped out a ridiculously large autograph book, rushing to the table.

"…except WG's heart-rate,"

Mickey watched the crazed authoress run from table to table, getting autographs from her favorite characters, villains, and sidekicks, up until Fanatic threw a net over her and dragged her back. "…Why do I get the feeling this was a bad idea?" he moaned, then went to his dressing room.

Fanatic dragged WG to the front door. "Calm down, woman, we're only on the first chapter for Lord's sake!"

"Sorry… my nostalgic inner-Disney fan kicked in," WG said, shrugging. "You should've seen it when I first ran into the Fangface gang,"

"Yeah, it was all over Fox News… where on earth did you get the machete, anyway?"

"Amazon. …So are we going to start guarding or what? Because I'm already up to four pages and nothing interesting has happened yet! When is the action going to start?!"

"Don't ask ME! You're the one writing the story!"

"Well YOU'RE the co-author, and this whole story was YOUR idea!"

Fanatic sneered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Not MY fault you're losing your touch…"

"Oh, THAT'S IT!"

The two authors got into a brawl…

…not noticing two shadowed figures sneak into the building.

Meanwhile in the building…

Mickey stood on stage. "And now, here's a cartoon, starring our friend, Goofy!" he introduced. As the lights dimmed and the cartoon started, he stepped off the stage, meeting the others backstage. "Well, how are things going?"

"So far, not too bad…" Minnie answered, though heard the sound of the authoress being thrown through a window. "For the most part… Mickey, are you sure hiring those two was a good idea? Max said they're sort of… goofy."

"That's ridiculous!" Goofy scoffed. "Everyone knows I'M Goofy!"

Mickey and Minnie exchanged looks. "Well… they're the only ones who were willing to work, and if they can pull it off, it'll keep Pete off our backs," Mickey answered. "We just have to give them a chance,"

"Lets just hope nothing goes wrong," Daisy sighed.

*o*

A/N: Next chapter… will the authors manage to keep the job? (I hope so, I've got a college fund at stake here!)

Also, special thanks to my co-author, Fanatic97, for this idea.

Please review, but don't flame. Seriously- I carry dynamite by the stacks! (wow, I am insane, aren't I?)