Disclaimer: I own nothing. Womp.

Author's note: I'm upset they needed to write Malese out of Big Time Rush for a few episodes, but they needed to and they could have done it this way, or something like this, in my opinion. Lucy's my favorite female character and I was upset about about making her look helpless because she was heart-broken. She's SO much more than that and they really could've have done a better job writing her character out. However, I can't really do anything about it. It is Big Time Rush, after all. We all know now that Kucy was meant to be canon and Jo was supposed to be written out, figured I'd do both. Also, it's time I'd finally write a fic based on the show. Enjoy. :)

Lucy

Well, Kendall's ex-girlfriend was back. That was unfortunate, on my part, at least. Actually, maybe on her part, too. The elevator door did open when Kendall and I were in the middle of a kiss. Did I mention she was standing in front of the elevator door? Great way to introduce myself to someone he used to have feelings for, right? The key phrase is "used to," however. The look on his face when he laid eyes on her made it obvious those feelings were still there, and this is also where I talk about how my stomach dropped when I saw the way he looked at her. Just when I thought we could start our relationship, something, once again, got in the way. It wasn't Logan, James or Carlos cock-blocking or making fun of us. This time, it was Jo.

That meant Kendall was in my shoes now and I knew it sucked. Having to choose between someone you have history with and someone you want to date is more and just difficult. It's stomach dropping, heart wrenching and head-ache causing. Over-thinking occurs a lot and you know someone ends up heart-broken in the end. I would know- I just went through that whole ordeal with Kendall and Beau. Compared to Kendall, my decision was more than easy. When an ex cheats on you, it's almost definite you'll never go back to them and it was definite I wouldn't go back to Beau, and I don't exactly think he was heart-broken over it. However, Jo didn't cheat on Kendall, so he lacked a bias in the category.

Kendall rarely ever talked about Jo. He probably only mentioned her once or twice, so me telling her I heard so much about her was nothing but a bunch of bullshit. I'm only saying that to make myself feel better about myself, though. I'm sure she was nice, but she was Kendall's ex-girlfriend. Oh, and she was blonde. What a surprise.

Kendall wasn't going to talk to me about it, if anything he would be avoiding me until he thought it through and he would be confiding with Logan and only Logan. What could I do about it, anyway? Sit around and wait for him to make-up his mind? I did want to but that's exactly what I was doing at the moment. What if he didn't pick me, though? There was nothing I hated more than this Taylor Swift-esque feeling, but there was no way to get rid of it. At the moment, at the very least.

Okay, let's look at everything. If he picked me, I'd be happy and things would be great. If he picked Jo, he'd be happy and I'd still leave and go on tour for six months. Right? Right. I'd still get to be an opening act on a world tour. I'd get to visit the cities I've always wanted to visit, play my music to a bunch of fans and gain more. More people would be introduced to me and my music. What did I have to lose? Life would be gre-

Wait.

I was going on tour. How could I forget to factor that in? My god. How could I let that slip my mind?

I didn't exactly want to add onto the list of "what-ifs," but this definitely took a toll on my thinking. I guess that's what comes with being an up and coming musician. There was no way I was going to turn down such an amazing opportunity for a guy, even if it was Kendall.

That would be unfair to him. I didn't want to put him in another "Big Time Break-Up" and "Worldwide" scenario. I would be guilt ridden knowing I put him through something like that for a second time. What would happen to him if he did end up picking me and I still had to leave? If Jo stayed at the Palm Woods, he'd have to see her. Maybe not every day, but he wouldn't be able to avoid her completely. What if he felt guilty for hurting her and was upset I wasn't around? His sweet heart of gold wouldn't be able to handle it, then the Taylor Swift-esque songs written by Kendall and sung by Big Time Rush would come rolling out. It would make them, and him, sound less rock than they already did. Should I remind you of the whole "Paralyzed" and shutting down the streets ordeal?

There was also the "he picks me and I go on tour and he still has feelings for Jo and he'd be seeing her all the time, not me" scenario. Oh, look at Lucy being an overly attached girlfriend. My bad. We were dating for maybe seventeen seconds when Jo popped up from what seemed like out of no where.. This is the part where you laugh about my life being a joke.

After scrolling aimlessly though the internet, I set down the laptop and let out a sigh. There was nothing I could do about that. I had to leave, he still had feelings for Jo and that meant leaving him behind. There was no way I could put him through all of that. I mean, hey, it'd suck for me, knowing that he was with another girl and all, but at least he'd be happy. If he still had feelings for Jo, then he still had feelings for Jo and I was going to let him take care of that.

Kendall

Well fuck. I was conflicted and I knew it wasn't going to be easy. There was Jo, my ex-girlfriend. I did all I could to win her over and she ended up having to leave for a movie opportunity. I couldn't interfere with that, so I let her go. She was supposed to be gone for three years and I honestly thought I would never get over her, but I did and I met Lucy. Of course the other guys called dibs and I didn't really mind; I wasn't ready for another relationship. I got to know her a little bit more and that changed my mindset completely.

And then Jo showed up.

Neither Lucy or I were having good luck in the relationship department today. First her ex-boyfriend shows up and now my ex-girlfriend comes back. This was just not fair. I was positive I was over Jo and I had already moved on, but seeing her today made me think otherwise. What if I did still have feelings for her? That couldn't be fair to Lucy, but Jo made it clear she still had feelings for me. That would be unfair to Jo.

But Lucy was leaving for tour. That part I didn't forget. Would we really just be starting out just to have her leave for six months?

I had to break this down. There was Jo: an ex-girlfriend who left for an once-in-a-lifetime-job-opportunity and was meant to be gone for a few years. I had my history with her and I went through so much to win her heart. No one could replace what I had with Jo, not even Lucy. She was back and nothing seemed to beat what I felt when my eyes met those chocolate brown eyes of hers and saw her blonde locks falling around her shoulders.

Then there was Lucy: that rocker chick who told me Big Time Rush's music didn't rock the second I met her, the girl Carlos and James were trying to win at first. She was only girl I knew with red and black hair and the only person I knew who would lie to her parents just to chase after her dreams. I had to admit, she was a bit more rebellious than I was used to, but that's what I liked the most about her. She was different from the rest. I had her within reach and the guys weren't cock-blocking this time around. All I wanted was to start a relationship with her and it was such a short distance away. She was leaving.

Damn these mixed feelings.

There was pros and cons for both of them. Never in my life did I think I was going to be torn between two girls. Let's look at it this way: Jo was back and Lucy was leaving. You'd think I'd pick Jo since Lucy would be gone for a while, but would I still be feeling this way if Jo hadn't returned? Maybe it would be different if I knew she was coming back. That wasn't the case, though, so seeing her when the elevator door opened took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting to see her back so early and those feeling I had for her were back.

With Jo, I always felt that something was wrong, like I always made mistakes and she would critique me for it. With Lucy, she understood whatever I did and didn't freak out over the little things. It felt like I was in your typical relationship with Jo and with Lucy, I felt it was original. That still didn't change the fact that I had feelings for the both of them.

Then again, if I really did still have feelings for Jo, would I have any kind of interest in Lucy? That's when I decided maybe it wasn't Jo I should go for. It was Lucy. It had to be Lucy.

Even if that meant waiting until she came back.

Lucy

I was able to find Kendall hiding in a cabana by the pool. I couldn't tell if he didn't want to be bothered, but I didn't care and if we discussed what I was thinking, it would make his decision much easier. I sat in the chair across from him before he had the chance to protest against me doing so. "Okay, before you tell me to leave I-"

"You," Kendall said firmly. He stare locked on me as he crossed his arms and leaned forward against the table. His lips curled up a bit as the smirk appeared across his face. Dumbfounded, I did nothing but stare at him in response. "Lucy," he said. "It's you. I pick you."

Now those words took me by surprise. "What?" I thought he needed more time to think- he was in the middle of a major confliction. I didn't think he would need such a small amount of time to think about it. If Beau didn't make my decision so easy to make, I know I'd be stuck. Maybe I would've still picked Kendall, but hell, I'd be the most conflicted person ever.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" His left eyebrow cocked up, but soon the look of worry took over his green eyes when I wasn't responding. "Lucy, please don't tell me you lost interest in me already." He sighed and frowned.

"What?" I sat up straight in my chair and shook my head. "No, Kendall, absolutely not. It's just..." I tried to process what was going on. "What about Jo?"

He sighed once again and slumped back against his chair. "Jo is Jo," he shrugged. "Sure, we have a lot of history, no one could replace what we had and I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about her, but she left. She was supposed to be gone for three years and she had been gone for a while. I've moved on already."

This time, I was the one raising an eyebrow. "Didn't seem like it when you realized she was back." I pursed my lips and looked down at the table to avoid eye contact with him.

"I was just surprised. I didn't know she was coming back."

After a few seconds, I shrugged and looked back up at him. "All right, I'll give you that. I think you're forgetting something, though. I'm leaving in two weeks, remember?"

"I know," he said. "How could I forget? Thing is, Lucy, if I really liked you, I'll be willing to wait until you come back. Besides, I'm comparing six months to three years here."

"And what about Jo?"

"I think she'll understand," he said. "I hope she understands. If she stays, there's no way I can avoid her and I definitely want to stay friends."

"Good for you. I'm not going to be friends with Beau."

He laughed. "Good. I should go talk to her."

"Go ahead, I'm not stopping you," I smiled. As he got up to leave, I sat back in my chair and let out a sigh of relief. He was already near the pool entrance of the lobby when he turned around and called out my name. I looked up and sawing looking straight at me.

"I am looking at no one but you, Lucy Stone," he called out. A smile stretched across his face. "I'm taking you on that date tonight and I am letting no one make me think otherwise." I smiled back. This date was something I was looking forward to.

Sure, I'd be gone for six months, but Kendall was willing to wait and so was I. He was sure as hell going to be worth it.