Chapter 4: Happy Little Vegemite

Oz was at home, cooking his dinner (tonight was a chickpea and rice dish with a Moroccan spice mix he'd ordered from online and had mailed to a drop-box in Lhasa) when his satellite phone rang. Oz's eyebrows raised. The Council (re: Giles) tended to call him up every once in a while just to make sure that things were under control in his neck of the woods (or really his plateau of the mountains, but Oz wasn't a pedant), but the latest call had only been about a week ago. He wasn't due for another "are you still alive and are the local beasties under control" call for a good month as far as he was aware. So it was with some trepidation that he answered.

"Yo."

"Oz? That you?" Oh. He recognised that voice, and it wasn't Giles. Huh. Interesting.

"Yep. Hi Buffy," he said, and waited.

"So, how are things?" she asked him. Oz felt his eyebrows raise. Odd, that she was going the small-talk angle. Oz and Buffy had never really conversed much. Sure, they'd spent time in the same vicinity when Oz had been dating Willow, and on the occasional Scooby mission when he'd been around to assist, and Buffy had watched over him a few times when he'd been all furry, but they didn't often actually talk. So for Buffy to be ringing him out of the blue like this, and wanting small-talk? This was weird.

"Things are happening," Oz said in his customary deadpan. He deliberately left his statement ambiguous so that it could have referred to himself, or the reason for the Slayer's call. "You all alright?" he asked.

"Oh you know, the usual," Oz could almost see the valley girl hair-flip. "Demons, vampires, teenaged girls acting like they're the first ones to discover hormones." Oz snorted.

Since Willow had activated all the Potentials, it sounded like half the Council buildings were filled with teenaged girls. He was honestly half-surprised he hadn't been asked to host any of them yet, but he figured it was only a matter of time. There would eventually be some girl who wanted to try the Himalayas, and if that happened, Powers That Be knew that he would want to at least meet her and give her the lowdown before she went tromping around causing trouble. He had actually met two activated Potentials from the villages, but he'd put them in touch with the Council, and they'd both promptly seized the chance for a British education and had absconded off to London with the full support ad blessings of their families. Last he'd heard, at least one of the girls, Khalama, had found herself a part-time job and was sending money home, much to the delight of her family, who boasted about how wonderful their daughter was to anyone who would stop to listen.

"Fun," Oz stated dryly. "So if it's situation normal, then why are you calling me?"

There was a slight pause, and Oz could hear a slow intake of breath.

"Okay, fine, I'll make with the 'splainy," Buffy sighed. "Easter Island. Whole lot of bug demons dead. Don't suppose you have any idea who or what could have done it?" The way she said it suggested that she didn't really think that Oz would have any answers, but was asking more to cross his name off the list.

Oz was about to say no, when he suddenly had a thought.

"...What sort of injuries did the bug demons have, and how many were dead?" he asked.

"What looked like an entire tribe, and apparently it was a combination of incredible blunt trauma and some kind of... energy burns that seemed to obliterate a decent number of them. Why?"

Ah, Oz thought. That got her attention.

"I don't know for certain," he said, "but it might have been a friend of mine doing a bit of stress relief."

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that," Buffy said in an odd tone, "I could have sworn I just heard you say that there's an entire tribe of apocalypse-seeking bug demons dead because a friend of yours needed some stress relief."

Oz shrugged, then remembered that he was on the phone, not skyping, so he expanded with a verbal answer.

"He's got issues."

Oz grinned as he heard the sounds of a gobsmacked Slayer. Sometimes he just loved being the deadpan one. It always caught the babbling ones off guard.

Buffy eventually regained coherence.

"Okay, Wolf-man, talk. Who's your pest exterminator friend?"

Oz leaned back in his chair, and kicked his feet up so they were resting on the table.

"His name is Vegeta, and he says he's the Prince of All Saiyans..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Is it just me, or is Vegeta being unbelievably creepy lately?" Krillin asked, cracking open a beer.

The Z warriors were gathered, but for once, the event was social, rather than the impending end of the world. It was Gohan's birthday, and this was the "family" party. Much to the chagrin of Krillin and Yamcha, Vegeta being the eldest of the only two pure Saiyans left in the universe counted as family in Goku's books. So he was here, lounging casually against the wall next to the buffet table.

That wasn't unusual behaviour for him. Saiyans with their ridiculous metabolisms and appetites were often found in easy-access range for food if they weren't outright stuffing themselves.

No, the creepy part as far as Krillin and Yamcha were concerned was that he had what looked suspiciously like a genuine smile on his face. Not a glare. Not even a smug smirk. An actual, honest-to-Kami smile was gracing his face as he looked fondly over at Trunks and Goten wrestling. Trunks was winning, which might have provided some explanation for Vegeta's expression if he was anyone else, but Krillin and Yamcha were starting to feel distinctly weirded out.

"Do you think he's gotten laid?" Krillin asked, his tone doubtful.

Yamcha snorted and was about to reply when a louder noise of derision came from directly behind them.

They turned to see Piccolo looking sardonically amused.

"Come now, you both remember when he was with Bulma," the Namekian pointed out with not a little amusement at the cringe this comment provoked in Yamcha. "Did he ever look even close to this relaxed?"

Krillin considered this and started snickering. "True. But they did argue all the time. That probably wouldn't have helped."

"Ugh," Yamcha groaned, raking one hand through his hair. "Do you mind not reminding me that my girlfriend used to have really bad taste in me- I mean, bedpartners?"

"Used to have?" Vegeta suddenly called from the buffet table. "You seriously think that you are an upgrade?" he stated incredulously as he started to walk over.

Yamcha and Krillin paled. Damn Saiyan hearing!

Piccolo just looked even more amused, folding his arms and taking a slight step back to show he wasn't about to interfere.

Vegeta moved closer until he was just within arm's reach of Yamcha, who cringed in front of the much shorter alien.

Vegeta just stood there, hands on his hips, and raised one eyebrow.

Yamcha made an "eep" noise, and skittered away, closely followed by Krillin, who mumbled, "no offense man, I was just talking," before making his exit.

Vegeta made no move to follow, merely staring out at the duo until they'd vanished around the corner.

Then he snickered.

Piccolo stared, flabbergasted, as the snicker quickly turned into a guffaw.

Soon, he wasn't the only one staring as the other party-goers were staring at the usually grumbling stoic Vegeta was indulging in a full belly-laugh.

Goku wandered over, chewing on a chicken drumstick.

"Hey Vegeta! Want to share the joke?" he asked in that genuine cheery fashion that only he seemed able to pull off around Vegeta without sounding strained.

Vegeta's laughter trailed off, but he was still grinning. "Nothing you should worry about Kakarrot. You had to be there."

Goku shot Vegeta a surprisingly shrewd glance, (he had known Vegeta for years, after all,) but he decided to let it drop.

"So what's got you so chipper, Vegeta?" he asked him, slinging an arm around Vegeta's shoulders.

A split-second later, he was picking himself up off the ground from a half-kilometre away. Note to self: Just because Vegeta's in a good mood does not mean that the rules have changed about personal space, Goku thought to himself ruefully as he rubbed his shoulder and brushed grass and twigs off himself.

A few seconds later, he was in front of Vegeta again, looking none the worse for the wear despite his sudden cross-country flight.

"Seriously though," Goku said, cocking his head. "I don't think I've ever seen you looking this..." Goku paused thoughtfully as he tried to decide what word best described Vegeta's expression.

Vegeta's grin developed a hint of familiar smugness, and he ushered Goku out of earshot of the rest of the party. Well, except for perhaps that pointy-eared Namekian, but Vegeta's experience told him that the green slug was unlikely to spread his business around just for kicks.

"I found an invading force to massacre," Vegeta said.

Goku blinked. "A what?" On the one hand this was Vegeta, and so really, this made complete sense. On the other hand, what the HFIL?

"An invading force, Kakarrot. A tribe of beings that wanted nothing more than to destroy all of humanity and to conquer this planet. I got a tip-off, and I found them and killed them until there was none left breathing." Vegeta's satisfaction was practically palpable. "I haven't killed so many in battle since before I came to Earth."

Goku stared at the Prince of All Saiyans (all one and two halves of them). "Ooookay," he said finally. "How come I never heard about this?"

Vegeta shrugged. "It happened on this tiny island in the middle of the Pacific. Had some strange stone heads on it."

"Ah," Goku nodded faux-thoughtfully. "I know that one, I've flown over there a few times... but hang on, so you say there was a bunch of aliens who wanted to invade from there?"

Vegeta shrugged. "My friend calls them 'demons'. Apparently there are many kinds, but ones near Hellmouths are more likely to be... I mean to not have the humans' best interests at heart." Vegeta's grin widened. "And they are entertaining to fight. I actually almost broke a sweat killing them all. You know," Vegeta frowned thoughtfully, "I never realised how much more enjoyable it is fighting when one is doing it because one has something worth protecting. I used to enjoy the battles for Frieza, but the fact that I was fighting on behalf of that reptile freak always left a sour taste in my mouth. Fighting for a worthy cause is far more enjoyable. Especially when it's a chance to show an entire new species how far superior Saiyans are."

Goku carefully hid an eye roll, but his grin echoed Vegeta's.

"So let me get this straight. You're in a good mood because you had a really good fight recently?"

"Correction," Vegeta's grin became slightly feral. "I am in a good mood because I won a good fight recently. I feel better than I have in more than a decade."

"Huh," Goku cocked his head to one side as he considered this. He wondered how much Vegeta's foul mood of the past... well pretty much as long as Goku had known him, if he was honest- had been simply because he could not beat Goku, the only opponent that Vegeta considered "worthy" of their acquaintance.

"It's a shame though," he thought out loud.

"Mmmm?" Vegeta asked.

"Well, I was just thinking it's a shame that there aren't invading armies for you to fight more regularly. You're almost..." Goku hesitated. The next word could spoil what was an incredibly rare mood for his long time rival, occasional friend.

Fortunately, Vegeta seemed to understand what he was getting at before he shoved his foot down his throat.

"It's funny you should mention that," he said, still grinning.

"Oh?" Goku asked, intrigued.

"See, I've been talking to this person I met in Tibet, and he told me..."

From across the clearing, Bulma watched one of her oldest friends talk to her ex, and was startled at the body language she saw. Vegeta actually looked... almost mellow. She hadn't seen him look like that even when they'd been having regular sex. The fact that most of said sex had been fairly angry might have had a little to do with this, but still. And whatever he was talking about, Goku looked more intrigued than he had in ages. She couldn't help but wonder what on earth they were talking about.

So she sidled up to a certain turbanned Namekian, figuring that he would be able to hear whatever it was that the two Saiyans were talking about so animatedly.

"So Piccolo," she said, smiling winsomely at him, "how are you doing today?"

Piccolo looked unimpressed.

"Just ask, woman." Bulma only rarely spoke to him, but when she did, it was because she invariably wanted something. Piccolo had previously debated mentioning to her that attempting to flirt information out of him was not only completely useless, but mildly nauseating. His race reproduced asexually! Human mating rituals were not far removed in Piccolo's mind to a dog humping his leg.

Unaware of this train of thoughts, Bulma pouted in a fashion she thought was cute, and said, "I was just wondering what could be so very fascinating to Vegeta and Goku. I know you can hear what they're talking about."

Piccolo considered simply telling Bulma to get lost, but then had a much more fun idea.

"Vegeta has met someone new. That's why he's so happy."

"W-what?!" Bulma looked entirely shell-shocked.

"Oh yes," Piccolo nodded sagely. "Apparently this new person understands Vegeta's needs so he is happier than he's been since before he came to Earth."

Bulma gaped at him, then excused herself faintly before walking off, pale-faced.

Serves her right, Piccolo thought to himself. If she wanted to know so badly what they were talking about, then she should have just asked them herself rather than cowardly using him as some sort of gossip medium. Maybe next time she would hesitate before demanding he eavesdrop on private conversations for her.

Piccolo repressed a grin. Whatever happened next, that had been so worth it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was a few days after Buffy's call that Oz was relaxing on his favourite boulder. He had been meditating before, but now he was sitting eating his lunch. He hadn't seen Vegeta for a while, and so when he suddenly felt a presence behind himself, he wasn't entirely surprised.

"Yo," he said in greeting, looking over his shoulder.

To his surprise, the person he was greeting was not Vegeta.

"Hi!" the man said brightly. Everything, Oz contemplated, about the man was bright. Bright way of speaking, bright eyes, and bright orange clothing. Oz wondered who this guy could be, and then considered the way his black hair seemed to stand up almost on end and had a thought.

"You wouldn't happen to be Kakarrot by any chance?" Oz asked.

The expression on the newcomer's face was a little surprised, and more than a bit delighted.

"I prefer Goku really, but wow! You mean Vegeta has talked about me?"

Oz smiled slightly. "You could say that." Actually, it was a pretty rare conversation that Oz had with Vegeta wherein Kakarrot did not feature at some point or another. Vegeta was apparently fairly annoyed with him about the whole being able to defeat him thing, and would occasionally wax lyrical about it. Otherwise, Kakarrot would inevitably come up when Vegeta wanted to disparage something- if Kakarrot liked it, Vegeta had a tendency to assume it was what he termed "low class". Privately, Oz was a little too entertained by his bitching to call him on the fact that he seemed to know Kakarrot's opinion about almost everything, which would normally be odd if one thought another's opinions weren't worth anything.

But Oz had more than a few suspicions about what Vegeta really felt about the other last Saiyan, and the fact that Vegeta had apparently mentioned Oz himself to Kakarrot confirmed that if nothing else, Vegeta was more than happy to share personal details with "that idiot Kakarrot". You don't share personal details with people you hate.

Kakarrot was beaming like his birthday had come early. "Oh wow! That's kinda awesome. I used to think he hated me, you know? But he seems to have come around a fair bit. He was even smiling at me the other day at Gohan's party!" Huh, apparently Kakarrot was on the same wavelength as he was. Funny. "He's never been so happy! I mean, he was pretty bummed just after Bulma dumped him, but he seems to have really cheered up a whole lot since then. Say," he scratched his chin thoughtfully, "that would have been about when he first met you!"

At the back of his mind, Oz wondered if somehow by some unlikely circumstance, Kakarrot was related to Willow. Insight hidden behind seemingly mindless babble wasn't something that Oz had run across in many other people.

Oz shrugged. "I wouldn't know," he demurred.

He was about to ask Kakarrot why exactly he had tracked him down, when he heard a whooshing sound. He turned to see that Vegeta had just flown in.

"Hey Vegeta!" Kakarrot greeted cheerfully. "We were just talking about you."

Oz grimaced a little at how that sounded, but Vegeta was well versed with the ways of Kakarrot.

"If I know Oz at all, I would have to assume that you were the one talking, whilst he was listening with an expression you couldn't read."

Kakarrot laughed a little awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "Heh. Well... you could say that?"

Oz smirked. "Hi Vegeta."

Vegeta jerked his head in acknowledgement, before turning to Kakarrot. "What the HFIL are you doing here?"

Kakarrot practically pouted. "But Vegeta! I wanted to meet the guy you said knew about where to find the aliens to fight!"

Oz raised an eyebrow as Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"So," Oz said. "It was you that took out the bug demons on Easter Island."

Vegeta's immediate smug smirk answered that more definitively than any mere "yes" could.

Oz snorted and shook his head. "You know, you freaked the hell out of the ICW."

"ICW?" Kakarrot asked.

"International Watchers Council," Oz said. "They're the ones normally in charge of keeping the things that go bump in the night under control."

Vegeta nodded casually. "What, do they think I stole their kill?"

Oz laughed outright at that. "Kill-stealing isn't something that bothers them, so much as players they don't know. That said, since I vouched for you, there are several fans of your work." Oz smirked. "Some of their researchers figured out that it was you and you," he said, nodding to Kakarrot, "at the Cell Games, and from what I hear the video-link is being passed around faster than Super Sexy Make-up Tips Online amongst the Slayerettes."

"Slayerettes?" Kakarrot asked.

Oz shrugged. "Bunch of teenaged girls who received the powers of the Slayer- that is, enhanced speed, strength and general ability to turn vampires into dust and demons into corpses- when a certain witch I know decided to activate their Potential."

Kakarrot looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Teenaged girls? I've got a teenaged son. And a wife. Liiiitle awkward."

Vegeta just rolled his eyes again. "I've endured the attentions of people impressed by my Princehood before. Just because they scream for your approval and attention doesn't mean you need to even seriously acknowledge them. A mere nod in their direction can be enough to make their day, but you don't owe them anything," he sniffed disdainfully.

Oz and Kakarrot just stared at him.

"What?" Vegeta demanded.

Oz just shook his head. He had more pressing things to worry about than the fact that Vegeta was apparently used to (and scornful of) having hordes of screaming fangirls.

"Anyway," Oz said, "The Slayer wants to meet you."

"Ah yes," Vegeta said slowly. "I remember you telling me of her prowess in battle."

"Battle?" Kakarrot asked blankly.

Oz gave Kakarrot the cliff notes version of what the Slayer was, and Vegeta considered.

If he was honest with himself, he had been intrigued by what Oz had mentioned about the Slayer... Buffy, that's what her name was. A woman with a kill-count like that, a human woman, now that was a person that Vegeta might find worth talking to.

He interrupted whatever Oz was telling Kakarrot about.

"Oz. I will speak with the Slayer." He pulled out a business card. "This is my number."

Kakarrot goggled. "You have a phone?"

Vegeta grunted. "What of it?"

"You never gave me your number!"

"Who said I wanted to talk to you?"

Oz repressed a smile at their bickering, but decided to cut across it before Vegeta did as he was threatening and decked Kakarrot into the next mountain range. "I'll figure out what continent Buffy is on, and I'll let you know how to contact her," he said.

Vegeta nodded. "I'll see you soon," he said, and then flew off.

Kakarrot sighed.

Oz turned to him, surprised.

"I'm glad he's found someone he can talk to," Kakarrot said in tones that were far more serious-sounding than anything Oz had heard from him so far. "I've probably been the closest thing he's had to a friend while he's been on Earth, but he doesn't talk to me, you know? I mean, we're sparring buddies, and most of the time I feel like we've got respect between us, but the guy you try your hardest to beat into the dirt isn't exactly the guy you tell your problems to, you know?" Oz just nodded, and Kakarrot continued to babble. "Even though the rivalry's mostly friendly now, and our sons are totally best buddies," suddenly a thought appeared to occur to him. "Hey! Vegeta just left then! Dang, I wanted to ask him something, so nice to meet you, see you sometime later, bye!"

Kakarrot raised his finger to his forehead, and then disappeared in a flash of light.

Oz blinked.

Teleportation. Somehow he had not been expecting teleportation.

Shrugging, he got up from his rock. He had some phone calls to make.

...

A/N: Hey guys, I'm not dead. And neither are my stories. See? Update :P

Next episode will be Vegeta and Buffy meeting for the first time. Stay Tuned!