A/N" This was supposed to be the final chapter, but it kinda got away from me. I know it's been awhile, just trying to kill some time and get the writer juices flowing.

Santana's mind was racing as she entered the loft she shared with her wife. After weeks of debating she had finally decided to broach the subject of trying again. She knew the Broadway star would be hesitant to agree after watching Santana crumble into herself for months, but they had finally found their new normal, and Santana was ready, she could only hope Rachel would be too. "Rach?" She called out hoping to pinpoint the woman's locations.

"In the bathroom Tana," Rachel responded when she heard her wife.

The Latina hung her jacket and kicked off he shoes before venturing to their in suit. She smiled softly and stopped to lean against the door frame when she saw Rachel sitting cross legged on the bathroom counter doing her make up.

"Hi baby," Rachel smiled at the woman through the mirror. "How was the studio? You're back early."

Santana shrugged; it had been quite awful actually. She was so nervous about speaking with Rachel she hadn't been able to focus on any of her music, and eventually everyone agreed it would be best to start the weekend early and get back at it on Monday. "It was okay. I was a little distracted, so we cut out early."

"What has you so distracted?" Rachel asked as she brought the liquid eyeliner up to her left eye.

Albeit, not exactly the first conversation she expected to have with Rachel when she walked in, but Rachel was asking, and Santana didn't want to lie to her about it. Plus, the sooner she got this off her chest the sooner they could figure it out.

"Tana?" Rachel asked craning her neck to look back at her when there was no response.

"I want to try again." The Latina finally blurted out.

A puzzled expression came over Rachel, she was having a hard time following Santana's logic. "Oh, well, I'm sure if you call the guys with the promise of pizza, they'd be happy to meet you back at the studio-"

"No, Rach," Santana interrupted realizing Rachel hadn't followed. She loved her wife to pieces but sometimes the girl could be a little dense when it came to the obvious things. "I mean," she pushed herself off the door frame and approached her wife, "I want to try having a baby again."

The black eyeliner tube fell to the ground as Santana's words washed over Rachel. This certainly hadn't been something Rachel expected when she woke up this morning. It's only been six months. Is she just saying this for me? I don't want to push her. What if she's not ready. What if I'm not ready? Rachel's mind raced a thousand miles a minute as her eyes remained locked on the fallen tube.

"Rach," Santana prodded gently. She rested her hand on the Broadway stars back, trying to coax her back to reality. "Baby?"

Large chocolate eyes snapped up to meet the Latina's. "I have to get to rehearsal." Rachel turned and climbed off of the counter. "It shouldn't last long," she hurried out walking passed Santana and into their walk-in closet to change out of her lounge ware.

"Wait, Rachel," Santana called walking after her. "Don't do that, please don't shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out babe. I just need to get to rehearsal."

"Yes you are, you're not even acknowledging what I said."

"I heard you Tana," Rachel huffed while she pulled a loose fitted acid washed gray shirt on. "I just don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you tell me how you're feeling." Santana grabbed hold of Rachel's hands to stop her movements, so she had her full attention. "You've been so good and so caring for me these past few months, but you haven't told me anything about what you're feeling. If you're not ready, that's fine, I understand, but you have to talk to me Rach." Santana pulled her wife in towards herself so she could wrap her arms around her.

Over the last few years the dynamic of their relationship had certainly changed, it used to be Rachel who couldn't hold back her feelings and Santana who had to have them dragged out of her. But now as Rachel grew and developed as a person she had taken on more of the silent type, always putting the Latina's needs above her own, doing everything she could to absorb the role of protector over her wife, who had learned to stop fighting the world and to become in tune with her feelings. It was different from how they started but they had grown together in a way that worked for them, and although it had it's drawbacks at times, like now for example, they wouldn't have it any other way.

Rachel sighed into the familiar warm and protective embrace of her wife and hugged her back. "I know babe, I just, I need to figure out my head." She took a step back to look into the Latina's eyes, "We can talk when I get back okay? Rehearsal should only last a few hours." Rachel wrapped her hand around the back of the raven haired beauty's neck and pulled her into a deep slow kiss, her attempt at conveying the undying love and devotion she held for the woman, showing her that she wasn't running away from her or the idea of trying again. Just trying to figure out her own thoughts. "I love you Santana," she whispered against the woman's lips.

"I love you too mi amor."

Rachel fumbled with her keys a bit before finally balancing the bag of takeout in her arms and successfully unlocking the door. Santana looked up from the canvas she was working on as one of the many law and orders played on the tv when Rachel entered. "Hey babe," she hopped up from her spot and met her wife in the kitchen. "Oooh, what'd you get?" She asked as she took the brown paper bag from the woman and pulled it open.

"Thai, your favorite. Fresh spring rolls, duck curry, pad thai of course, and extra sauce and extra white rice." Rachel provided as the woman pulled everything out of the bag.

"You are a saint, you know that?" Santana gushed and leaned over to give Rachel a peck, though Rachel had other plans and pulled the woman in against herself to kiss her fully. Santana's hand's tangled in Rachel's hair and she pulled the woman closer, parting her lips when she felt Rachel's tongue lick her bottom lip. Santana couldn't stop the whimper that escaped when their tongues met and instantly the food was forgotten as she was hoisted up on an empty countertop and Rachel stepped between her legs. "Wait, wait, wait," Santana panted out breathlessly, the feeling of Rachel's lips traveling down her neck making it very difficult for her to keep her bearings.

"What is it? What's wrongs?" Rachel questioned her lips continuing their slow trail down the woman's neck and to the deep chest line Santana's shirt put on display

"We should talk, before we do this."

"Why, you have an IUD?" With this, Santana knew she had her answer, and it hurt, that Rachel could be so careless in the way she gave it. She pushed the brunette back and hopped off the countertop before heading towards the bathroom and slamming the door closed, "Tana, what's wrong? What happened?" Rachel asked chasing after her.

"What's wrong?" Santana half-heartedly shouted as she pulled the door open revealing tear stained cheeks while she wiped furiously at her eyes. "You don't want to try again, and that was your delivery."

"What are you talking about?" Rachel asked softly, "I never said that."

"You said I have an IUD Rachel. An IUD which means I can't get pregnant."

Rachel's eyes widened in understanding. She hadn't meant to say it, at least not like that. It's not that Rachel didn't want to try again. She had spent most of rehearsal trying to figure out how she felt about trying again and was forever thankful that most of rehearsal revolved around what everyone was doing when the focus of the scene rested on someone specifically. And seeing as Rachel was the lead, that meant most of the scenes revolved around her, and it gave her time to think about her conversations with the Latina before she left.

Rachel took Santana's hands and led her back to the living room, she motioned for her to sit on the couch and wait while Rachel gathered the food and any utensils and bowls they would need.

Santana watched Rachel carefully trying to pinpoint if this was going to lead to an argument or if Rachel was finally going to open up to her about everything. Rachel passed the pad thai to her wife and motioned for her to eat before sitting down next to her with her own curry and rice. She took a minute to compose her thoughts before speaking.

"I want to try again Tana," Rachel whispered, finally breaking the silence between them. "I just don't want to try again right now." Santana felt tears form in her eyes, but she pushed them back, not wanting to break Rachel's train of thought and push her into doting wife mode when more than anything Santana needed her to be I'm deep in my feelings wife mode. "I was thinking about what you said, before I left, about me not sharing my feelings with you after it happened, and I think that's because I didn't want to process my feelings. I threw myself into work and into…" Rachel trailed off, she didn't know how to phrase the next part, she didn't want Santana to feel like she was blaming her by any means because she wasn't but taking care of her wife did in fact serve as a distraction from herself.

"And taking care of me," Santana supplied before setting her food down on the wood stained coffee table.

"I'm not blaming you Tana-"

"I know baby, but it's true. You put so much focus on me and making sure I was okay, that you forgot to check in on yourself."

"If we're being honest, I didn't want to check in on myself. I didn't want to deal with it," Rachel sniffled trying to fight back her tears, but the second Santana wrapped her arms around her petit frame the dam broke. Santana pulled the woman into her lap as sobs racked her body and finally, she allowed herself to feel everything.

Several hours later found Santana and Rachel lying in bed with their limbs intertwined as they reveled in the felling of being with one another. "Rach?" Santana asked softly, not wanting to break the trance they were in with one another.

"Yeah?"

"I think maybe we should talk to someone about what happened. I don't want you shoving this all down after today, and obviously seeing as we didn't have this conversation earlier, I didn't do my part as your wife by checking on you."

Rachel snapped up at that, that's not at all what the case was "No, that's not what happened, you were going through a lot San and-"

"We were going through a lot Rachel," Santana corrected. "The pregnancy was a loss for both of us, not just me, and I should have checked on you just as much as you checked on me," she said cupping her wife's cheek and leaning in to kiss her softly.

"I will always put your needs before my own Santana."

"I know that," Santana said as she slid her leg over Rachel's waist so she could climb on top of her, and Rachel's hands instinctively found the Latina's hips. "And I love you so fucking much for it baby." Santana leaned down to ghost her lips against Rachel's. "No one has ever taken care of me like you do. But my point is-" Santana faltered when felt Rachel's hands slip under her shirt and begin to caress the underside of her breast.

"Your point?" Rachel teased as she lifted the shirt over her wife's head and threw it to the side before kissing down the valley of the woman's chest.

"My point is, I want to take care of you too."

"Hmm, I can think of a few ways you could take care of me." Rachel murmured against tan skin while she rolled a nipple between her fingers.

"Rach, I'm being serious." Santana whimpered and pushed Rachel back so she could focus.

"I know you are. I am too. I came to the conclusion that I should talk to someone while I was at rehearsal. I didn't know you'd want to come with me, but I see your point. So, we can find someone tomorrow and set up an appointment. Now," she accentuated the word with a roll of her hips so Santana could feel her semi hard member against her center. "I want to make love to wife."

Santana looked down at the woman before her, eyes shining with undying love and devotions, she couldn't believe how lucky she had gotten with a woman like Rachel, someone to love her so unconditionally, to put her needs above her own always, it never failed to amaze her or to soak her panties. Santana pulled Rachel's shirt off and quickly followed it with the bra before leaning down to capture her lips in a searing kiss.

Rachel's hand gravitated down into Santana's short and slipped in between the waist band of her underwear stopping when she felt her fingers make contact with slick folds. "Fuck, Tana, you're so wet."

"Fuck." Santana moaned out when Rachel's fingers thrust inside of her setting a slow teasing pace. Santana hips canted up trying to convey her need for more from her wife. "Please baby."

"Please what?" Rachel asked her lips latching on to a dark nipple and pulling Santana rougher against her fingers.

"I need more."

Rachel kissed up the Latina's body stopping to suck on her ear lobe the way she loved before whispering in her ear. "Tell me what you want Tana."

Santana threaded her fingers in Rachel's long locks before pulling her head back and forcing their eyes to meet "I want you to fuck me Rachel. I want you to shove your cock inside of me and-" Santana was cut off by Rachel flipping them over and pulling down the Latina's booty shorts and thong before sheathing herself inside of her wife.

"You're so tight Tana." Rachel moaned out dropping her head down to rest on Santana's shoulder as she thrust in and out of the woman at slow and fulfilling face.

"Oh fuck," Santana mewled loving when Rachel made love to her like that. Her nails dragged down the woman's back stopping at her ass in order to push her deeper.

"I love you so much Tana," Rachel panted in the woman's ear. "All I ever want to do is take care of you and make you happy." Rachel admitted thrusting harder loving the way Santana tightened around her at the words.

"Look at me," Santana requested wrapping her legs around Rachel's waist, so her hands could tangle in the woman's hair. Abiding by her lover's request Rachel pressed herself up on her hands so she could look at Santana, her hips never faltering in their movements. "Take me." She demanded before pulling Rachel's hair just hard enough to get the desired reaction from the woman.

Rachel thrust harder into her wife, hissing at the pleasurable pain of her hair being pulled "I was trying to make love to you," Rachel grunted out letting her instincts take over at the hungry look in Santana's eyes.

"Then make love to me, the way we do it, and fuck me." Rachel, not one to deny her wife of anything, especially not when she was enveloped in her pussy walls, hiked one of the Latina's legs over her shoulder and pounded into her wife mercilessly. "Oh fuck, yes Rachel. That's it baby." Santana cried out loving the new angle and depth Rachel was hitting.

"Is this what you wanted Tana? You wanted me to lose control like this?" she accentuated the question with a particularly hard thrust. "Fuck you feel so good."

Her thrust grew sloppy as Rachel felt her balls tightening in familiar fashion and she reached her hand in between their bodies in order to find her wife's clit, knowing that it wouldn't take much to push have Santana seeing stars. She rubbed the woman's clit expertly sending her over the edge. The feeling of Santana's walls spasming around Rachel's cock as she came undone was all it took for Rachel's body to stiffen and toes to curl before she released her load inside her wife.

"Fuck, that was incredible," Santana panted as Rachel pulled out of her. She expected the woman to lay beside her but was pleasantly surprised when she felt her body being flipped over and her hips being pulled back until she was on all fours. "Oh, ready to go again already?"

"For you?" Rachel asked with a slap to the woman's ass, "always," and entered her swiftly, setting a hard and animalistic pace for her lover.

A/N: Feel free to drop a review.