Beck: you and cat having fun?

Jade: no. she's made me watch Spice World with her

Beck: oh. you wanna… idk mess around a bit

Jade: … you're asking for sex

over TEXT

Beck: it's 2013, text is an acceptable platform to ask for sex

thats practically what it was made for

Jade: call me old fashioned but I just dont see the romance in "idk wanna mess around a bit"

Beck: will you see the romance in a photo of my penis

Jade: is that how sexting works?

Beck: god I hope not

I kinda hoped that you'd know

Jade: you cant ask me for sex acts you havent properly researched, Beckett

i thought it was kinda just like word porn

Beck: im down for either one ;)

Jade: that looks so creepy with that fucking smiley face

Beck: ;)

Jade: stop that

Beck: ;)

Jade: alright that's it mister

you're not getting a present from me anbymore

you would have liked it too

Beck: wait what

Jade: i suppose ill just keep it now then

Beck: im all anxious now aHH what is it

wait first off what am I getting a present for

Jade: calm down spaz I was just gonna go take a pic of my boobs

for our… "sexting"

Beck: can I have it anyway

Jade: no you need to be punished

nO not like that

Beck: that sounds interesting ;)

what do yuo mean not like that thats the closest weve got to sexting this whole conversation

Jade: goddammit let's try some word porn this movie is so terrible

you start

Beck: wait how do I start

Jade: its basically like writing a sex scene except imagine yourself doing it with me right now

Beck: ok um

we're in my RV… just come home from a um school… dance

Jade: hop to it, Beck. no need for background info, just put it in me already

Beck: ok I slowly slip your bra straps down, lightly biting your collarbone

as my hand slips underneath your dress and between your legs

Jade: SLOWLY? christ Beck i'm losin wood over here speed it up

Beck: I DIDNT KNOW YOUD BE CRITICIZING MY WRITING.

YOU COULD TRY PARTICIPATING YOU KNOW.

Jade: STOP YELLING.

I AM NOT DOING YOU NOW OR EVER.

Beck: please

Jade: no magic words, either

Beck: that wasnt a magic word please that was like a "pffft please" please

Jade: oh well then fuck off then

Beck: i might have to if a certain beautiful girlfriend of mine doesnt write our virtual sex

Jade: fine ugh

you feel urgency running through your veins as I beg you to take me. there's a mutual recklessness as our bodies meet at just the right angle, and a hitch of breaths and a sigh of pleasure in unison.
my teeth graze behind your ear and I smile against your skin where your neck meets your shoulder, and i can feel that youre smiling too.

Beck: o wow MELODRAMATIC MUCH

Jade: I. HATE. YOU.

Beck: t hat was beautiful though, i really miss you a lot

Jade: the bald man is in the toilet now

Beck: …what the ufck

fuck

is what that should say

and what we should be doing

Jade: in the mo vie

the spice girls, their creepy bald photo stalker was in the toilet

Beck: no you know what i dont even care i said soething sweet to you and you said THE BALD MAN IS IN THE TOILET NOW

i regret even saying my sweet thing because now that's next to that

Jade: i miss you too, you FEMALE

Beck: :(

Jade: STOP WITH THE SMILEYS!

Beck: that one is a frowney cant you tell :( :(

Jade: Beck stop

i really do miss you though

i need you here for things

Beck: sex things?

Jade: no just your… company idk

its like little things that i only start to notice when youre not around

Beck: you miss my ESSENCE?

no i get it though

all the pain and suffering brought on by my absence ya know

Jade: god shut UP

Beck: haahahaha

Jade: you are actually the worst person in the world

Beck: im smiling like an idiot right now i didnt know you were going to be all SWEEET

….are you there

Jade: yeah sorry there was a bomb on the bus i got kinda into it

the suspense was killing me

so was the bad acting

Beck: …what

Jade: do you think your RV could jump the london bridge?

can we try that

Beck: here is an alternative to trying that

1. not trying that

thats it those are the only options

Jade: worst person

Beck: love you

Jade: ugh I love Cat ya know

but

Beck: I just said I love you and you said 'I love Cat"

…but

Jade: but but but idk

Beck: but butts?

tell ya what I bet Cat doesn't have the same apple bottom as you ;)

Jade: did you

did you just say I have an 'apple botttom'

Beck: i was gonna see if we could resume our sexting

Jade: Beck if there is ever one fundamental rule about women

DONT COMPARE THEIR BODY PARTS TO FRUITS!

Beck: no omg babe it's not like that

Jade: apples are FAT. and ROUND

Beck: NOT LIKE THAT NO no your butt is like really nice and plump and

Jade: PLUMP!?

Beck: NOT LIKE

NO

NOT LIKE THAT

LIKE… THE WAY IT CURVES

WHY AM I TALKING

Jade: SO YOURE SAYING MY ASS IS PLUMP LIKE YOUR SMELLY GREAT AUNT AND SIMILAR TO A FRUIT THAT GETS MUSHIER BY THE DAY

AND YOU WANTED TO TURN ME ON WITH THAT LINE

QUITE THE CHARMER BECK WOW PLEASE CONTINUE MY RIPE APPLE SKIN IS SIMPLY DECOMPOSING WITH FLATTERY

Beck: my god I can FEEL THE SARCASM

… THROUGH TEXT

Jade: FEEL YOUR BLUE BALLS BECAUSE I WONT BE TOUCHING THEM

Beck: Jade please omg youre so gorgeous and sexy and your ass is firm and juicy and grabbable like an apple

Jade: grabbable?

Beck: grabbable.

Jade: ….i cant believe you called me plump

Beck: apples are sweet just like your butt

Jade: ugh

Beck: youre not mad are you

Jade: whatever no i guess not

Beck: I really thought apple bottom meant like "perfectly shaped bottom"

Jade: just DROP IT

Beck: speaking of dropping things

my wrist hurts a lot

do you want to know why

Jade: oh my god have you been masturbating during this whole conversation

how many times have I told you the length of your masturbation period will never be impressive to me

Beck: maturbation "period"?

how many times have i told YOU that i am NOT A FEMALE

Jade: i was doing to say masturbation duration but I knew youd make a dr. suess joke

Beck: you would be correct

but no earlier today I was like doing manly masculine things

Jade: so you were masturbating?

Beck: NO

i was under the hood of my car

Jade: is that a euphemism for masturbating

Beck: its a euphamisn for IM TELLING A STORY

i was under the hood of my car

and the little propper upper thing snapped

and the hood of my car

FELL

ON

MY

HAND

Jade: is it like…. all bruised and stuff

that might be kinda sexy

Beck: no it just feels like… dainty

Jade: …did you just

did you just describe your manly masculine injury as "dainty"

Beck: IT FEELS DAINTY

Jade: are you like walking around with your hand all flappy because that is just ridiculous

Beck: NO

wait

wait was I supposed to be masturbating during our word porn? is that how that works?

Jade: christ Beck i dont KNOW do whatever you want

Beck: yeaaah that's what I like to hear

were you, though?

Jade: cat is literally three feet away from me

even i know thats bad manners

Beck: my wrist hurts too mch to masturbate

hey babe

brainstorm

do you wanna know how you can help me recover from my terrible injury ;)

Jade: im not getting you off because your wrist is dainty

Beck: but… :(

Jade: you're an idiot

Beck: i wish you were here

next time I see you i'm kissing every inch of you

Jade: kqu972rgqia;'tkje$hsgc…n

Beck: omg

did I get you all flustered

did my sweet love talkin break the Jade brain

Jade: i am NOT flusterd

Beck: FLUSTERY JADE IS TOO CUTE

Jade: GODDAMMITBECKIAMNOTFLUSTERED !

i just

ugh

i wish i were waking up to you tomorrow morning

Beck: damnit Jade I fucking ADORE you

& just for that text next time youre here I'm jumping your freaking bones

Jade: yeah?

tell me what you're gonna do to me

please

Beck: and i'll throw you on the bed and you'll wrap your legs around me

ad run my hands to the back of your thighs

and i'll yank your underwear down and toss them away

Jade: god hyes good riddance to those

Beck: and i'll kiss you

i'll kiss your open mouth so hard your lips bruise

so hard that you'll forget about everything except how much i love you

Jade: i cannot get enough of this right now

i'm on fire I swear

Beck: and your body burns

but the real fire is in the feeling of my mouth on the soft skin between your thighs

and you respond immediately and let me in

and i glance up and you're smiling wider than the sky

speechless because no combination of words could ever accuratley capture how i make you feel my love

Jade: i want you so bad right now please just let me have you

Beck you know i love this but omg cat's starting to notice my flusteration

and she wants to go to sleep

Beck: "flusteration" oh my god

did i like

did I do it right? did we just sext properly?

Jade: i need to go take a cold shower so what does that tell you

Beck: VICTORY

IS

MINE

Jade: i'm yours, too

Beck: and for that i'm one lucky guy

Jade: and I have to say i'm one lucky girl

no one really knows how to…. handle me like you do

Beck: handle? what about FONDLE

Jade: well yeah that too

but i never ever respond to anyone like I respond to you

you know how you put your hands on me and i just… sink into the way you touch me

lets not start that again i'm getting turned on againb

Beck: hahhaa

i love you Jade

Jade: i love you too

and i hope your dainty wrist feels better

Beck: oh be quiet

Jade: you be quiet you douche i'm saying nice stuff

Beck: will you kiss my manly masculine boo-boo to make it all better

Jade: that doesn't even dignify a response

Beck: you gave one anyway SO THERE

Jade: go to bed

Beck: yOU go to bed

Jade: IM TRYING TO CATS GOT HER NIGHTLIGHT ON AND EVEYRTHNIG

Beck: ok fine i'll let you go then

sweet dreams, Jade. i love you

Jade: night babe. love you.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Beck: it's been 18 hours since i last saw you and i miss your apple bottom the most.

Ok this is for some friends on Twitter because for some reason I roped myself into writing a "FLUFFY SEXTING" fic WHICH I STILL DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND BUT I CANT SAY NO TO CAPS LOCK

It's really dumb but I hope I did the prompt at least a little justice hahaa

Review please! :D