prompt: 52_flavours no.29 — But first, I'd like to know who did it.
thoughts: I don't—I don't even know.

scream my name

Lucy strolled into the guild that morning and sat down on a bar stool, glowing with radiance and beauty, looking like the epitome of absolute bliss—

"Damn, you look like shit," Gray commented, sipping his drink without batting an eyelash. Her head whipped around, and he flinched at her possessed stare.

"Who did it," she mumbled darkly.

"Huh," he raised an eyebrow. "Who did what?"

"Who took it," Lucy's hands shot out to grab his (nonexistent) shirt, and so she ended up tugging at his chain and scratching his neck.

"Took what!"

"WAS IT YOU!?"

"Stop—this is sexual harassment!" Gray desperately slapped her hands in a sad attempt to free himself from her clutches.

Her groping hands finally took a hold around his neck. "Sexual harassment? Sexual harassment, you say!? Your entire existence is sexual harassment! So where is it?" She ground out, shaking him violently.

Gray gurgled and choked out, "Where's what!?"

Lucy blushed furiously and screeched, loud enough for the everyone to hear, "Who took my underwear!?"

The entire guild paused what they were doing and stared. And stared and stared. Even Gray momentarily stopped his struggling to gaze blankly at her.

And then it hit her. She instantly dropped Gray, who landed on his head, and whispered with seething rage, "Natsu."

Just at that moment, as if perfectly on cue, the doors swung open, and the pink haired fire mage casually sauntered into the guild, grinning as widely as ever. Everyone turned to watch silently as the oblivious dragon slayer waved cheerfully.

"'Sup, everyone? ("NAAATSUUU—!") Oh, hey, Luc—"

He was immediately greeted by Lucy's flying kick to the stomach, and she caught him by the scarf before he could fall.

"Natsu, did you take my underwear?" She interrogated, a demonic look in her eyes as she stared him down.

He offered a shaky smile and put his hands up in defense. "I can explain—"

"Did you or did you not steal my undergarments!?"

"Yes—"

There was a cracking sound, and Lucy exploded; the rest of the guild took cover and prepared for the worst.

"But—there's a good reason for that!" She paused in her rampage and blinked at him.

"Tell me, Natsu, what can be a good reason for you to steal my lingerie!"

"I wanted to add it to my collection of memories!"

She frowned, "What."

"To remember the first time we ever did it," he further explained.

Everyone was silent. (Except for Cana, who coughed loudly)

Lucy shook, "The first time we did what?"

And suddenly the guild erupted with loud and obnoxious whispers, and she swore she heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like Levy's say something about 'virgin' and 'kinky'; Mira clapped in excitement, eyes glimmering; Erza flushed a color that matched her hair; Gray was imagining what Lucy's underwear must have looked like; and Happy looked absolutely mortified.

"Y'know, the first time we ever did your laundry together." Natsu elaborated for the celestial spirit mage who stood frozen in the midst of all the madness.

The guild fell silent again. (This time, Laxus cleared his throat)

Lucy slapped her forehead and groaned. "Why do you do this to me, Natsu?"

He glanced nervously at Makarov, who gave him a subtle thumbs up. What was it that he told him to say in a situation like this? Oh, that's right.

Natsu grinned her, "Because I like the way you scream my name!"