Author's Note: The two characters you probably don't recognize later on in this chapter are NOT OC's. They're real classmates seen in the picture of class 3-3. Specifically, they're in the middle row second and third from the left. The boy with the black hair was never named, so I made his up. The boy with the bandage on his ear and his ailment are listed in the wiki. Also, it looked like the game went kind of inconsistently with listing last names first and sometimes saying the first name first. I decided to go with last name first and then first name. It looked to me like Hisao called someone by their last name until they said otherwise or else he knew them better, so I went with that.

And yes, Lillian arrived before Hisao, so she stole his seat. I plan on taking this fic right through the whole school year so we'll see how things change with Hisao sitting somewhere else when he eventually shows up. I still haven't decided if Lillian will have a romantic interest or not, but I did think it would be interesting if she got to know her classmates a little more (unlike Hisao, who was only interested in pretty girls). I'm trying really hard not to make Lillian a Hanako clone but her social anxiety levels at the moment are through the roof, so she's very uncomfortable around large crowds.

As a reminder, I have no medical knowledge and everything I get is from google. I also don't own Katawa Shoujo or any of the characters. The only characters I own are Lillian and her parents.

Chapter 5: Groups

That false sense of optimism I had, had vanished by morning the next day. I had been right about the fact that I would have troubles falling asleep. Much like I had at the hospital, I found myself waking up at odd times during the night and having trouble falling back asleep again. Sometime in the wee early morning hours, I must have fallen asleep at some point, since after what only felt like seconds later my alarm was beeping loudly at me.

It wasn't my normal alarm from my old house. I hadn't wanted to take much with me from there, not that I had much, to begin with. I wanted a fresh start and I felt like it would bring back bad memories if I even kept something as simple as an alarm clock from there. So now I had a normal alarm, well.. a mostly normal alarm. It had a digital face and beeped at me but it was a fairly girly one of a bear holding onto a big heart. In the middle of the heart were the numbers and below that were small buttons for setting the time and things.

I blinked my eyes to see that the sun had somehow managed to rise already and I looked over at the alarm blearily, wondering what on earth had possessed me to think that getting up early every day would actually be a good thing. Especially today. If my battery had been less than empty yesterday, today it was even less than that.

Battery?

What battery?

Someone had apparently stolen my battery during the night and thrown it away, leaving me with nothing.

Finally, the incessant beeping got to me though and I managed to stagger out of bed long enough to silence the alarm. Even that took a massive effort and I shook my head, feeling a little dizzy. It didn't take me long to sink down onto my desk chair and I put my head in my hands, leaning my elbows on the desktop.

There was absolutely no way I could go to class today and I sighed, realizing that all the drama I had the other day had caused me to overdo things, majorly. I couldn't believe I had done so, especially after I had gotten that warning from the nurse and the teacher, but I suppose they had come too late. Thinking of Mr. Mutou reminded me of his suggestion that I shouldn't attend class if I felt too poorly to do so, and I realized that he figured I wouldn't be in class today.

With the way I was feeling right now, I knew even if I did force myself to go, I wouldn't be able to keep up with anything. It'd probably be more embarrassing for me if I tried. With that cheerful thought in mind, I lowered my hands and sorted my pills out as best I could, taking the few I had to in the morning, deciding to forego the usual water I would have with them. It seemed like too much work at the moment to get up and fetch myself a glass.

Once that was finished, I made my way back over to the bed and crawled back under the covers. I fingered the sleeve of my nightgown, one of the few things I'd kept from my old life and wondered if I would feel any better by tomorrow. Maybe if I took it really easy today I would.

I sure hoped so.

I sat up in confusion, as I blearily took in my surroundings. I had rested all morning since my lack of sleep during the night had caught up with me. I sleepily rubbed my eyes and the reason for my abrupt awakening became clear when I heard a gentle knock on my door, coming in even measured taps. I wondered who that could be?

I crawled out from bed and stood after I took a moment to make sure I wasn't going to fall over. I felt a little better than I had in the morning anyway, so maybe some of the no battery feeling had been from not sleeping very well. I smoothed out my long nightgown and wandered over to the door. If I had thought about what I was doing, I probably would have made sure that I was more presentable, but I was still groggy from just having woken up.

The gentle knocking had started back up again and I hastily opened the door only to remember that I had absolutely no way to communicate with whoever was knocking. To my astonishment, however, I saw that Lilly was on the other side with Hanako hovering right behind her. Hanako's eyes widened and she gave a huge gasp that startled me.

I took a half-step back as my gaze was drawn to her and I realized belatedly that she was staring at me, right at my throat. Since I had been in bed all day, I hadn't bothered putting on my usual silk scarf. With the nightgown that I was wearing, my throat was exposed and anyone who looked at me could see the long, ugly scar that stretched across it. It was still a hideous, angry red and I hated seeing it.

Seeing the look of horror on Hanako's face was somehow even worse, and I automatically slapped a hand over my throat, trying in vain to cover the scar from her sight. At the sudden flurry of movement, Hanako's eyes moved quickly away from my throat and I looked down at Lilly's feet, unwilling to see any expression of pity on Hanako's face. I had seen enough of that at the hospital and I wasn't sure I could stand to see my classmates looking at me the same way.

There was another awkward silence.

"..Hanako? Lillian?" Lilly's confused voice broke the awkward silence.

"It's.. It's.. nothing," Hanako's soft voice came out as a whisper, not sounding at all convincing.

There was another pause, but Lilly must have decided not to ask about it because she continued talking.

"Hanako told me today that you hadn't come to class, and I wanted to make sure that you were alright," Lilly said kindly to me.

I was about ready to nod, but I realized it would be kind of stupid to do that since I'd obviously missed the morning classes for a reason. I glanced up to see Hanako was looking anywhere but at me and I waved my hand a little to get her attention. Her gaze snapped back to me but was careful to avoid looking at my throat. I still had one hand covering it, but I kind of appreciated the gesture anyway. Since I could now see her better with her being so close, I could see how she'd be so understanding about any scars I would have. It looked she had her own to deal with and the little I could see of them peeking out from underneath her hair looked pretty bad. Like she had done for me, I was careful to avoid staring at them.

When I was certain she had her attention on me, I made a so-so gesture.

Hanako looked confused, as though she didn't know how to relay the information to Lilly.

"She's.. okay, but.. not completely well?" Hanako tried and I nodded at her to confirm that she was mostly right.

Lilly's brow furrowed in concern at that and she clasped her hands in front of herself, holding onto her long cane.

"I hope you aren't coming down with something," she said, the worry evident in her tone.

I shook my head and Hanako gave the news to Lilly, who seemed a bit perplexed at it, but she smiled at me all the same.

"Hanako and I were about to have lunch and we were wondering if you would like to join us," she continued.

I looked down at my nightgown and then back up at Hanako helplessly as I feebly gestured at myself, uncertain of how I would even answer that if I were able.

"..We.. we could bring you back something," Hanako offered and I gave them a small smile in return as I nodded.

Hanako whispered to Lilly my agreement and Lilly nodded at me.

"I hope you won't mind something from the cafeteria," Lilly said almost apologetically to me. "I'm afraid that I don't have enough for three for lunch today."

I nodded again since any food at the moment sounded pretty good. I had skipped breakfast completely since I hadn't felt up to getting myself any.

"Do you have any special dietary needs?" Lilly's voice cut into my musings about the morning.

I thought about the question as I fought to recall what the nurse had said to me yesterday about what I should eat. He had told me so many things that I really couldn't remember if I did or not. With a silent huff of annoyance, I held my finger up in the universal sign for "just a minute" as I stepped back and closed the door on them. I stalked over to my desk and rifled through the papers that were scattered on it. I quickly set the homework aside that I'd left out from the other day and found some of the papers I'd received from the doctor.

Most of it was just information on CFS in general and any symptoms I could expect to have. I skimmed them, but couldn't seem to find anything at all on any special dietary needs I would have. I saw my planner was sitting nearby, so I opened that up only to see the glaringly bright "MEDICATION" staring at me from the first page after the maps.

Oh, right.

I couldn't forget to take my afternoon medication this time. I stared mournfully for a moment at the schedule I had drawn up for today and sighed. Now wasn't the time to dwell on what could have been. Seeing the reminder for my medication jogged my memory, however, and I finally remembered that the nurse had told me to eat nutritious meals, but he hadn't said that I needed to do anything else.

I scrounged up a pen and my little notebook from under a pile of papers and turned to a blank page, dashing off a quick note to them. I hurried back over to the door, using up energy I didn't really have to do so and opened it quickly, but not before I remembered to cover up my scar with my hand. I held the notebook out to Hanako, who awkwardly reached around Lilly to take it.

She studied the note for a moment before she read it aloud to Lilly.

I don't have any special needs, it said, but it should be something healthy.

Lilly nodded in reply.

"Of course," she said smoothly in return to me. "If you like, Hanako and I could bring you something for dinner as well, if you're.. not feeling up to that either."

I nodded gratefully at Lilly as Hanako passed the notebook to Lilly who held the notebook out to me, much as they did yesterday. I didn't really understand why Hanako did that, considering she just took the notebook from me herself, but I remembered my own quirks and decided it was better not to ask.

Hanako relayed the message back to Lilly who smiled at me.

"I hope you feel better Lillian," she said to me.

I nodded in reply and quietly closed the door. While they were gone, I tidied up my desk a little and ran a brush through my hair, remembering that I hadn't brushed it at all that day and felt embarrassed to have Hanako see me so disheveled. While I did that, I went over to my suitcase and rooted around in it as I pulled out my small collection of scarves. They were some of the first things I'd purchased when I was able, and my fingers clenched the material for a moment, as I remembered wearing a bandage in the store. I suppose I could have used makeup to cover up my scar, but the wound had healed not that long ago and I didn't feel comfortable doing so.

Now I'm so used to wearing scarves that it feels weird not to have one on. I patted the silky material and chose a plain white one to wear. I suppose it wouldn't really matter what one I do wear since I'm only wearing it for a few moments when Hanako and Lilly return and again later on for dinner.

The rest of the day was incredibly boring, but at least I remembered to take my medication at the right time. The next morning I didn't feel quite as terrible as the day before and decided that I could take a stab at going to the morning classes at least. I had gotten dressed in my uniform again, smoothing out the skirt and making sure that I had everything I'd need in my pockets. I packed my school bag and I'm pretty sure that I had everything that I'd need for the day. It would be too tiring to run back and forth from the dormitories, so it's worth having a heavier bag.

My eyes fell on the planner/journal from the nurse and I opened it up to see the reminder about the medications. I smiled since I had already taken them that morning. I turned past the maps and settled down for a minute to write out my schedule for the day, making sure to note my classes down this time instead of the "school" that I had written down a few days ago. After I finished that, I wrote "library" down after my final class. Reading might be difficult for me now, but I was determined not to give up so easily on my old pastime. Maybe I could start with shorter books and work my way up.

I turned back to the maps to make sure I remembered the way to class when I heard a quiet tapping on my door. The knocks were slow and measured and from the precise intervals in the knocks, I thought I knew who would be on the other side. That, and I had only 'spoken' to a few people so it wouldn't be too hard to guess.

I stood up from my desk and answered the door, not surprised to see Lilly and Hanako on the other side. I smiled a little hesitantly at the two of them since I had no idea why they were there. Hanako looked surprised to see me already dressed in my usual uniform, and I wondered if she only agreed to come with Lilly because she thought I wouldn't be up for going to class again.

"Hello, Lillian," Lilly said pleasantly to me. "Hanako and I wanted to make sure you were doing better today, and see if you were feeling up to walking with us to class."

My eyes darted from Lilly to Hanako, who silently nodded in confirmation, although she looked pretty terrified at the thought of me actually joining them. I looked from Hanako to Lilly, wondering exactly how to respond and decided to stall a little by taking out my small notebook and pen out of my pocket. As I did so, my anti-anxiety medication rattled in my pocket and I noticed Lilly tilted her head curiously at the sound, but she didn't comment on it.

I was glad about that since I had absolutely no desire to talk to either of them about any of my medications or anything. It's not like they talked to me about any of that stuff either, so I wondered if that was just the norm. It would be pretty tactless to go around asking people what's wrong with them anyway. Besides, my case was fairly obvious. The entire class already knew that I was mute, so there was really no reason to dig any deeper than that.

I paused as I stared down at the blank page in my notebook and decided to take a more diplomatic approach. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by outright refusing and I wouldn't want to freak out Hanako by just inserting myself into their little group. Not to mention the fact that I was more than used to being by myself, anyway. Turns out if you don't talk to anyone at school, they get curious about you for like, five seconds and then ignore you. I was used to being the girl that nobody paid any attention to. It was a little unnerving to have Lilly and Hanako be so concerned over me.

After I wrote my note, I handed the notebook over to Hanako, who softly read out my reply, before handing the notebook to Lilly to hand back to me.

I feel a little better than yesterday, so I wanted to try going to class today. Thank you for your offer, but I wouldn't want to intrude.

Lilly's smile widened a little and she reached out and patted me on the shoulder, her hand only faltering for a moment to actually find my shoulder. The action was slow and measured, but I still drew back from it anyway. I didn't like people touching me.

Lilly's smile faded a bit at my actions, but she hitched it back up quickly.

"Nonsense, you wouldn't be intruding. Shall we go?"

I nodded and then gestured back into my room to indicate I had to get my things and Hanako nodded a little to indicate she understood. I could hear her whispering to Lilly as I stuffed my notebook and pen back into my pocket and went back to my desk to grab my book bag. I looked down at the planner and stared down at the map for a moment before closing it with a soft snap and stuffing that into my full book bag too. Hefting it up, I glanced back at my room to make sure that I had everything and then wandered back over to the door.

"Ready?" Lilly asked me.

It must have been a rhetorical question since she and Hanako made their way down the hall. Once we got outside, I was able to walk more easily next to them. Hanako wound up practically hugging Lilly, but Lilly didn't seem to mind. I decided to walk on Lilly's other side, being careful to keep out of the way of her cane. The pace was much slower than I thought it would be, and it reminded me of the way Mr. Mutou walked me to the nurse. But a quick glance at Lilly told me that she wasn't babying me. Maybe she just liked taking things more slowly than others.

When we got halfway to the main building, Lilly seemed to remember something and stopped walking.

"Oh, I almost forgot," she said as she folded up her cane for a moment to pull out something wrapped from her bag before handing it to me.

I grabbed it without thinking about it and looked down to see a small riceball wrapped up to protect it from her bag. I stared down at it curiously before looking over at Lilly and Hanako. Hanako was looking anywhere but at me, so I didn't have any help there.

"I wasn't sure if you had breakfast yet, but I thought you might like this anyway," Lilly said as though she could just tell that I was staring at the riceball in confusion.

To my embarrassment, the riceball got a little wobbly as tears filled my eyes. I sniffled as quietly as I could and discreetly wiped my eyes before smiling over at her and Hanako. I nodded and unwrapped the riceball, munching on it while we continued our way to the main building. If Lilly could hear my sniffling, she didn't say anything.

I had finished off my riceball and taken care of the wrapper by the time we made it to the classroom. Lilly smiled at the two of us and then gave a small wave as she wandered off to her own classroom. I glanced at Hanako since it would probably be easiest if we walked Lilly to her classroom, but Hanako either was oblivious to my look or else ignored me, since she slipped inside the classroom without saying anything.

I sighed and wandered over to my seat to see the unwelcome sight of Misha and Shizune, the latter who was glaring at me with an intensity that made me want to leave the classroom already. Shizune spotted me looking in her direction and she immediately began signing very quickly. Misha had opened her mouth to translate, but then seemed to remember that I didn't need it and busied herself with getting her things out instead.

[Nice to see you've recovered from your 'illness'.] Shizune signed and I could almost hear the sarcasm dripping from her words.

I glanced down at my desk and fidgeted uncomfortably before I signed back in reply, barely looking at her.

[I'm not completely better, but I feel better than yesterday.]

I glanced up to see Shizune's response and saw her looking at me suspiciously, as though she doubted whether or not I had been ill.

[Missing school on your second day is very irresponsible. Don't make a habit out of it.] Shizune finally replied, as she saw that I didn't have anything else to say.

I couldn't think of anything to say to that, so I got my books out. It wasn't long before Mr. Mutou announced that we would be doing group work today as well, which explained why he hadn't said anything to me about anyone to help me take notes. He probably figured I'd get all the help I would need in whatever group I was in. I looked over at Misha and Shizune, but they had already pushed their desks together and weren't even looking in my direction. I watched them for a moment, but they seemed to be concentrating on their work already.

The rejection hurt me more than I ever thought it would. I had been so used to being all alone, so it had been nice on that first day when they included me in their group, even if they made me uncomfortable. Were they mad because I ran off on them at lunch and then missed school the next day? I wasn't sure and I sighed silently as I looked around. It looked like most of the class already had groups except for Hanako, who seemed to be intent on doing her work all by herself.

"You can come over here if you want," a voice called out from across the room.

I looked up in surprise to see a boy in the same row as me but at the opposite end of the classroom. It looked like he was already busy doing group work with the boy next to him, that had a bandage on his ear. I glanced around to see that nobody else was offering, so I picked up my worksheet and pen and made my way over to them. The girl with long hair that had been sitting next to them had left her seat, so I sat down gingerly in her place as I set my worksheet down. It was filled with the usual problems, but I was still feeling pretty tired, despite all my rest the other day.

As I tried to read the first problem, I realized my attention kept wandering and I had a hard time concentrating on it. Before I knew it, I had gripped the paper tightly and was just staring down at it wondering how I was supposed to manage life if I couldn't even manage a stupid worksheet. I felt like a complete failure.

"Hey," a voice next to me cut into my thoughts.

I jumped a little and looked over at the boy who had invited me over with slightly wide eyes. He paused and looked at me a little sheepishly before he continued.

"I didn't mean to startle you," he said a little contritely. "But I noticed you seemed to be having a hard time."

I glanced down at my paper that noticeably didn't have anything written on it and blushed in embarrassment. I pulled my small notebook out and wrote the boy a note, telling him that I sometimes had trouble concentrating on things. I also pointed out that I wasn't very good at science either.

The boy took the notebook when I held it out to him and he looked over at our other group member, the one with the bandage on his ear.

"Maeda," he said, catching the boy's attention.

"What," the boy spat back rather grumpily.

I noticed his hair was lighter than his friend's and his eyes flashed in our direction for a moment before they returned back to his paper. They were a pretty light color and I couldn't help but wonder if he was foreign. His friend obviously wasn't, since he had black hair and normal dark eyes.

"Chill," the black-haired boy said, "You're better at explaining this than I am. Can you help.. Nara.. Was it?"

The last part was directed at me and I nodded at the two of them and gave Maeda a hopeful look. It must have worked because he very reluctantly switched seats with the black-haired boy and scooted his desk closer to mine so he wouldn't have to speak up.

Before I knew it, he had launched into an explanation of the problems. I stared at him as he spoke and after a minute he trailed off as he saw me staring at him with what must have been a dazed look.

He sighed loudly and it snapped me back to attention as he started over, this time going more slowly. He helped walk me through the problems on the worksheet, making impatient noises when he had to explain something more than once. By the time we had finished, I was staring down at my worksheet dejectedly and felt like a moron for taking so long to finish it. I didn't have to look up to figure out that we were probably the last ones to finish.

The black-haired boy must have said something to his friend because Maeda cleared his throat.

"..You did alright, I guess," Maeda said grudgingly to me. "For someone who sucks at science."

I blinked and looked up at him at that and he shrugged as if to say he didn't really care that much. A small smile appeared on my face.

"By the way, the grouch there is Maeda Takashi and I'm Fujii Sota," the black-haired boy said kindly to me. "You're Nara..uh.. Nara.."

Maeda rolled his eyes at Fujii's fumbling.

"Nara Lillian," he corrected his friend and my smile grew wider at that as the bell rang for lunch.

Fujii had opened his mouth to comment on it, but the chime of the bell cut him off. Maeda moved his desk back to its normal place and I picked up my things as I stood up. I smiled at the both of them in thanks and gave them a nod as I carried my things back to my own desk. I made sure to turn in my worksheet for the day with everyone else and Mutou gave me an encouraging smile as I did so.

After that, I returned back to my desk and made sure it was packed up. I glanced over toward Misha and Shizune, but it looked like they had already left without me. My smile from Maeda's compliment and my feeling of accomplishment faded and I remembered how much it hurt to be left out by them. As gloomy thoughts returned, so did my weariness as I realized I still felt pretty drained, despite all my rest yesterday.

I sighed sadly to myself and carried my bag out of the room, not realizing that I hadn't seen Hanako leave for lunch yet either. There was still a big crowd in the hall and I immediately froze as I stared at all the people. My heart started to race and I involuntarily took a step backward.

"Hey, what's the holdup?" Maeda's grumpy voice came from behind me and it felt like I jumped a foot in the air as I practically tripped over my feet to get out of his way.

Fujii and Maeda left the classroom together and they both immediately noticed me standing like an idiot by the classroom doorway. I must have looked as freaked out as I felt since they both exchanged a look before Fujii gave me a hesitant look.

"You okay?" he asked me, his tone suggesting that he didn't think I was.

My head automatically nodded frantically as I backed away from them, the only thought that was in my head was to retreat. I might have had a repeat of my first day, except I backed right into someone.

"Oh!" a voice said in surprise as my foot hit something hard and I literally stumbled into them.

A pair of hands flew up to my shoulders and I squeezed my eyes shut as I held my book bag in a death grip. I hadn't even realized that I'd flinched hard from the contact or that I was holding my breath until I noticed that there were voices all around me.

" - teacher?!"

" - Nurse!"

" - alright - "

A few phrases trickled in and I opened my eyes to see the worried faces of Maeda and Fujii staring at me while calling out suggestions to whoever happened to be behind me.

Whoever was behind me must have decided not to and before the two boys could say anything else, the person that was behind me suddenly stepped in front of me and I saw Lilly was there. I stepped back at the sudden intrusion of her being right there in front of me and I could see she had a worried look on her face.

"Take slow breaths," she said gently to me as she took a deep breath and then another.

I tried to copy her before I even really thought about what I was doing and as I did so, I realized that I felt a little better. When I was able to, I fished out my anti-anxiety medication and popped a pill just like I had on that first day. If this kept up, I was going to have to skip lunch altogether. I remembered seeing Hanako slip out of class my first day and wondered if it had anything to do with the lunch crowd.

After a few more minutes passed, my breathing finally calmed down and Lillian smiled at me.

"There, much better," she said with a smile. "Now.. let me guess. Lillian?"

I blinked at her and then blinked again.

How could she tell the difference between my being quiet and Hanako's?!

The lack of an answer seemed to confirm her suspicion and she nodded.

"I was going to ask you if you'd like to join Hanako and me for lunch today," she continued as I just stared at her in surprise.

I belatedly remembered that Maeda and Fujii were behind Lilly and I peeked around her a little to see that they'd left to give us some privacy. Well, as much privacy as one could have in a crowded hallway, I guess.

There was an awkward pause as I wondered how I could possibly answer her. To be honest, I still felt pretty terrible and after all that, I didn't feel up to doing much of anything. I took a deep breath and as I started to stare down at her shoes, my eyes noticed her hands, which were clutching her cane. I reached out hesitantly and gently pulled one of her hands away from her cane. If she found it strange, she didn't say so.

I turned her hand so it was palm up and used my index finger to slowly trace out the word "no" on it. There was a long pause and then Lilly nodded.

"..I see," she finally said, her tone polite. "Perhaps another day then."

Even though I could tell that she was trying to be nice to me, I still felt like a terrible person, as if I were letting her down somehow. And of course, Hanako chose that moment to come out of the classroom, right when I was looking my most pathetic.

I gave her a sad wave and then gestured vaguely off down the hall before I hurried away from them. I was so busy trying to hurry and was lost in my own thoughts, I hardly paid any attention to where I was going.

All I could think about was how I couldn't even handle the crowd out in the hallway and how Maeda and Fujii both saw me freak out.

I was so pathetic.