A/N - I decided I wanted to experiment (is that the right word? I'm not sure if that's the one I'm looking for) with Time Lord Victorious, just for fun. Well, not for fun. This is going to be quite dark and not very fun.

If you don't like Dark!Doctor, then please don't read this. I don't want to upset anyone, nor do I want to be flamed. I'll accept constructive criticism, but not anything like, "This is too dark and it's badly written. Please stop." That's just rude. So, if you plan on doing that, just stop reading. I didn't ask you to read this, so...

All the information on Time Lord Victorious is on a "fanon wiki", and most of that info is apparently from a series called Phoenix. I have no idea what that is because I'm an idiot, but I really liked the thought of Time Lord Victorious being the Doctor in a completely different reality blah blah blah I just want you to know that I read that and have left my imagination up to the rest. I'm not stealing anything, I don't think.

Disclaimer - I don't own Doctor Who. I only own my OC, Emma Walker.

"Go left! No, no, right! No, stay where you are! Jump! No, duck! Hit the deck!"

Emma threw herself down onto her stomach just as a glob of slime melted a hole into the wall behind her. The Doctor was a dead man. "You'll be fine," he said. "I won't let you die," he said. And then he shoved her out of the room and she found herself face to face with the green blob, while he hid behind a door. At some point the blob had shot some slime at the door, leaving a hole big enough for the Doctor to stick his face in and yell orders at her like he was a bloody ship captain. The blob, who she had recently found out was named Weebo, was eating everything in sight and steadily growing bigger. It filled up half the room and there was pretty much nowhere else for her to go. She had just accepted her death when she heard the Doctor yelling,

"Captain's quarters!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means to get over here!"

"We could have saved so much time if you had just said, 'come here'!" She scrambled to her feet and ran past Weebo, darting into the now open door. The Doctor slammed it shut behind her while she collapsed onto the floor. "Why? Why did you send me out there? It didn't even help anything!"

"You were a distraction so I could think up a plan! Then he tried to kill you, so I couldn't think of a plan because I was too busy saving you."

"Yes, locking yourself in another room and yelling at me counts as saving me. Is there a light switch in here?" She heard his hand slam on the wall and she rolled her eyes. Of course he was angry that she didn't consider what he was doing as saving her. The light flickered on and she huffed when she realized they were in a bathroom. "A toilet. We're hiding from a giant blob that shoots melting slime, in the toilet. I don't think it's possible for my life to get any weirder."

"Oh, shut up." The Doctor scowled. "Look out and see what he's doing."

"You shut up and you go see what he's doing!"

He glared at her, but turned to look through the gaping hole. "He's eating the bed. Wonderful." He moved back, running a hand over his face. "If I could just find some way to get him back to his original size...I would try my sonic, but he ate that!" As he began to pace back and forth, a sort of realization dawned on Emma's face.

"Can he throw up?"

"What?" He raised an eyebrow. "What does that matter?"

"Well, if he gets sick and everything he's eaten comes out of him, he'll get small again, won't he?"

"That's brilliant! Wait, no, it's not. How do you expect to get him to do that?"

She sighed and turned to the cupboard beneath the sink, rifling through it. "Please, please, please...ah!" She pulled out a brown bottle and spun back around to face him. "See?" He just blinked at her. "It's ipecac."

He suddenly clapped his hands together. "Right, ipecac!" He managed to keep that up for a few seconds before, "What's ipecac?"

"It makes you sick. My Mum used to give it to me when I ate something that I shouldn't. So, if we pour this onto something and throw it out for him to eat-"

"Everything else should come out of him!" The Doctor's grin practically split his face in two and he — rather rudely — grabbed the ipecac from her hands. "Emma, your brilliance almost outshines how stubborn and irritating you are!" She scowled and he placed a hasty kiss on her forehead before running around the room. "Don't just sit there! Look for something to put this on!"

"Um," she eyed the blue fabric hanging over the bathtub. "shower curtain?"

"Hmm, no, it's not enough."

"Toilet paper."

"Don't be stupid."

"You."

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped to narrow his eyes at her. "No. There must be something..." His eyes flashed and he ran back to the door, looking out. "I've got it!"

"What?"

"He's still trying to eat the bed, so one of us needs to go out there and pour the ipecac on the bed!" He turned to her with a smile on his face. "I'm a genius. Who's going? Oh, wait, not it!" He touched a finger to his nose.

"Not...Goddamn it, no." Emma hissed, glaring at him as he stepped away from the door, holding the bottle out to her. "I'm serious, I'm not doing it. I refuse. I'm not consenting to this. I will definitely not do it." He just stared at her. "I'm not doing it!"

She did it. And then proceeded to run back in the bathroom as fast as she could. Weebo thankfully didn't even notice her. "I hate you."

It took a few minutes, but they soon heard a rumble. The Doctor looked out to see that half of the bed was missing and the blob was definitely looking sick. Well, as sick as something with no features can look, anyway. "Hmm, he's eaten a lot. Perhaps we should lure him outside before he-" It was too late. At a rapid speed, items started flowing from Weebo's gaping hole that would be considered a mouth. "Alright, away from the door!" He stepped back, pushing Emma behind him until they were at the other end of the room. A piano crashed through the door, followed by two chairs, and the sonic screwdriver. "My sonic!" He ran for it, ducking as a cat flew through the air. He grabbed the screwdriver and darted back to Emma. "Now, we wait." And they did for about two more minutes before they were sure the blob was done. "Emma, go check."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." She huffed, but stomped over the random items and into the bedroom. She didn't see Weebo, so she assumed he was smaller, but he could just be hiding behind everything he'd eaten. "Weebo? If you're still big, please don't shoot me until I see you." That's when she saw a tiny, green blob, about the size of a chipmunk, gnawing on the leg of a dresser that was previously in its stomach. "Oh, you're actually cute." After making sure it wasn't going to shoot slime at her, she scooped it up in her hands. "He's tiny again!" There was crashing and mumbling, then the sound of a crack and someone saying they broke a chair. "Doctor, I want to keep him."

"No." He plucked Weebo from her hands.

"Well, why not? He's so harmless at this size!"

"Yes, until he eats everything inside the TARDIS and then us." There was a soft squeak and he looked back to the alien. "Sorry, Weebo, but you know it's true. You're a terror when you eat too much. I think it's time you go home, eh?"

Emma frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Don't make him go! I'll feed him vegetables every once in a while. He'll barely grow!"

"What is it with women and cute things?" He scowled. "It's time for you to go back to your planet." An indignant squeak came from Weebo and Emma 'aw'ed. "Don't argue with me! You can marry a nice girl, have a couple children, and feed them only the best garbage on your planet. Come on..." Weebo seemed to nod before he blinked out of sight. "Love that race. Always so easy to get rid of when they're not the size of a boat." He turned back to his companion with a grin. "So, back to the TARDIS?"

"What about a puppy?"

"No."

"A baby?"

"No."

"A seahorse? You can't deny me a sea-" Emma stumbled back as someone's shoulder slammed painfully into hers. "Ow!" She spun around. "You know, excuse me would be nice, arse-" The words died on her lips. The man was dress in all black, his hair looked like it hadn't seen a hair brush after he got out of bed this morning, and when he glanced over his shoulder with a smirk on his face, he seemed so familiar. There were shadows over half his face, but she could have sworn he looked just like-

"Emma." She felt the Doctor's hands on her shoulders. "What's the matter?"

She looked back at him. "Hmm?" She turned back to the man, only to find that he'd disappeared. "Nothing!" She shrugged his hands off and gave him a smile, making her way to the TARDIS. "Nothing at all."

A/N - Well, I hope it's pulled you in. Review if you'd like!