Infinite

Chapter 1 – Dreams and Realities

Someone was touching him; how did this happen? He was alone in his chair sobbing into his hands. Now he was standing in a hallway, being hugged. Who would be foolish enough to show comfort or concern for him?

Small arms wrapped around him tightly. "I know you didn't mean it. " The voice was a muffled sob pushing his face into Rumplestliltskin's jacket. "You're scared. Scared for Belle. But you'll get her back. I know you will." The boy continued, "You're just scared right now, but you're Rumplestiltskin - so you'll find a way. What you said, I know you didn't mean it."

He couldn't answer the boy, only stared at him in shock; his body shaking with grief.

How did Henry get to him so fast?

Looking up at Rumplestiltskin, Henry continued, "I read your story. It's sad. But she loves you, and you love her. In the story, Belle knows you are worth it. So she trusts that you will bring her back. You don't have to be scared, she loves you. You didn't mean what you said to me."

Witnessing the tears flowing from Henry's eyes, Rumple found his barriers crumbling.

Slowly, trying to keep his composure he knelt, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. "No Henry, I didn't mean it. I promise." Staring into Henry's teary eyes , Rumple gave a small smile to reassure him.

Releasing Henry and standing once again. Rumple placed a hand on the boys chin to have him look up. Instead he saw Baelfire, staring at him; his eyes glaring and furious at him. "Bae?" confusion and sorrow poured out of Rumple as he looked at his lost son; reaching again to grab him, Bae vanished. "Bae!-Don't leave!" Rumple shouted trying to reach for him.

Rumplestiltskin woke again with a start, his bedroom still dark and cold. He lost track of how many times these dreams entered his mind. He hadn't had a restful night's sleep since that fateful evening he lost Belle. Was it guilt, or did Henry really seek him out? Everything had been a blur. Between his threat to the Charming Clan, and his failed visits with Belle, he felt like he was on the brink of madness. It had been a week since Rumple returned from his unsuccessful trip to find Baelfire. This was his life the past few weeks, one failure after another. He would not give up hope though. He would find his son, and repair the damage he caused to him, to them. But now his thoughts turned to Belle. His perfect Belle, who he struggled and failed those few weeks ago with their cup, now shattered and beyond repair, much like he felt lately.

Belle, his beautiful Belle. He didn't deserve her love, her faith in him. But he had it, and in return she was used as an object of revenge.

She didn't deserve this fate: not having memories, living as a blank slate of life from her time in the asylum. Regina had not even bothered to give her fake memories - just nothingness.

Rumplestiltskin felt his rage grow. He had to fight the urge for revenge; well aware that every time he goes down this path it ends the same.

The dream, Henry was telling him what he needed to do. What he knew he needed to do – he just wasn't sure how to go about it.

His last visit with Belle was slightly better than the previous one; he didn't leave distraught and almost shattered on the ground along with the cup. And thankfully she wasn't pleading for him to leave. He had returned from his trip to find Bae, and found that Belle had moved into Granny's Bed and Breakfast.

Apparently Snow had been the doting friend and gently helped Belle around town; explained to her this world, their old one, and even who Mr. Gold was. During his time away Belle had been helped in so many ways by her friends. She no longer feared her surroundings, and more importantly, had regained some hold onto her old self. For this, Rumplestiltskin was grateful, but he was still unsure how to approach her. But, to his surprise and infinite relief, it seems she decided to come to him.

Standing at the diner counter he waited for his daily coffee order. Cardboard cups and coffee that tasted the same, but he hoped he would catch a glance of her. He thought of how to approach Belle if he did see her, when he heard her voice next to him.

"Excuse me," Belle was nervous. She touched him briefly to get his attention, and then took a step back.

"Belle…" he breathed forcing himself to hold back his urge to embrace his love. Her touch made his soul feel elated, but at the same time he ached at the distance still in her eyes. "Belle, how are you?"

Glancing downward, she couldn't meet his eyes. The look he gave was so intense; she wasn't sure what to make of it. "I, um...have this phone. Apparently you gave it to me."

"Yes, I did," Rumple nodded, whispering.

Belle back up another step, this man made her nervous.

"Ruby helped me get into the text messages." She said halting, pausing for a moment to shake her nervousness. Suddenly she flinched when she felt Rumplestiltskin press his hand on hers where it was resting on the counter. "We talked to each other. A lot it seems. I wasn't afraid of you." Hesitating again, Belle looked up into his eyes. "I don't remember this. But I would like to see if we could be friends."

Friends, Rumplestiltskin thought. I can start at friends. It was more than what we started with at the Dark Castle. Smiling at Belle, "I would like that very much Belle." Taking a breath to steady his nerves, not sure if he should continue, he spoke cautiously, "I could show you items that I kept in my castle. I am still working on a potion that may help restore your… "

Before he could finish, Belle jumped, panic written on her face. "No, no, no. Please... Don't talk about castles, magic or us... "Rumple reached for her trying to calm her, but Belle pushed his hands away. "I don't remember..." her voice rising with frustration "I don't know if it's real or not. What you are telling me. .. Please, I want to know you, not the past that makes no sense to me." Her eyes filled with tears. "I can't have this pushed on me."

With that she turned and walked away from him.

"Belle!" Rumple's voice broke the thickening silence that stood between them. "I am sorry. I won't push you into remembering. Please Belle, I am your friend, let me be this for you."

Keeping her back to him, Belle turned her head slightly and nodded.

Rumplestiltskin watched as she walked out of sight. Inside his heart was breaking at the sight of her.

He gave it a few days; he told himself that what was needed. Sighing deeply, he made a decision - today he would start; ask her to lunch so they could talk. Hopefully without interruptions. Rumplestiltskin promised himself that he would guide Belle -she needed to gain what she lost of herself: what made her so uniquely Belle. His heart clenched at the thought he may never have his true love again, but he would do this for Belle no matter what.

Deciding that sleep at this point would never happen, he rose from his bed to prepare for the day ahead.

After opening his shop, Rumple anxiously rubbed his thumb against his forefinger. Nervousness, fear of rejection, not being worthy- all those fears swelled inside him. He dislodged the dark thoughts; no, he would not let those doubts cloud him. Picking up his phone, he shut his eyes and willed all his strength to call her.

"Hello?" Belle's sweet voice enveloped him through the phone.

"Hello Belle, I hope I am not disturbing you. I was hoping,.. I was going to ask, if you'd like to have lunch today. "Rumple hated how his voice cracked, he felt like nervous school boy.

There was a pause and he started to panic - why is she pausing? Rumple's mind raced; did he already say something wrong? "Belle? I'm sorry did I..?"

Belle cut him off, "No, sorry. I just…" Another pause, this was killing him, making his confidence wane. "I have plans today. . . I am spending the day with Greg. I am sorry, maybe another time."

Insecurity, rage, jealousy - Rumpelstiltskin felt them all blazing through him in raw agony. Desperately, he smothered his ire and promised himself not to slam the phone down.

"With Greg? No, Belle it's alright. Another time perhaps..." Holding his emotions in check his voice was barely audible,"Have a good day Belle." He hung up and pressed his hands against the counter. Rumple dropped his head trying to shake the hopelessness and anger that was engulfing him.

"Not very good at this are you?"

Rumple looked up, startled and unaware that anyone had entered during his conversation.

"No, apparently not,." He snarled. "And to what do I owe the pleasure ...Charming?" Taking care to say his name in a mocking tone.

"I came to tell you that some of us are meeting. Tonight, at the diner, regarding Cora and Regina." Charming waited impatiently for a response. Receiving none, he sighed and continued, "And we felt that it would be in ours, and your best interest to be present."

Rumple walked around the counter towards the Prince. "I have never been on your short list for invitations before. Why would you want me there? I am not exactly the type to help the common good am I?"

Charming smiled "Cora has Hook and Regina doing her dirty work. You know and understand how truly dangerous she is, and what she might be up too. You of all people will have an idea on how to fight her. Plus you now have someone to protect - something worthwhile. I figured even you couldn't argue, knowing that it's best if we work together. We need to save this town."

Rumple nodded, is face darkening at the implicit mention of Belle. "I will be there, as I do have someone to protect. I wasn't able to... I'm not sure that it matters..." Rumple paused and swallowed hard, he would not expose his emotions and vulnerabilities to this man or anyone else.

Charming saw the conflict in Rumplestiltskin's face. The mask he wore hasn't been as thick since Belle came back into his life. He wanted to hate this man, hate him for all the things he had done before. But he needed Rumplestiltskin to stay strong, to not fall into darkness and grief.

"Good, 9pm at Granny's." As the prince headed towards the door, he paused. "They're just friends- Greg and Belle- that is all they are. You understand that? "

Rumple stared, trying to figure out why Charming would bother. "Why are you telling me this?"

"You should know. They are two people who are struggling with this world, our Storybrook. But deep inside she's waiting for you - anyone can see it. You just have to get over all of your hang ups and see it too."

"You have no idea what you are talking about your highness."

"Gold, you are too stubborn to see it. She's in there waiting for you to unlock her memory. So stop thinking everything is an obstacle in your way; because from what I can see, you are the only obstacle."

Charming left before Rumple could reply. The snark died on the tip on his tongue, unsatisfied at not being able to reach its target.

Sighing, Rumple moved towards the back room. Sitting at his spinning wheel, he lost himself in thought. As the wheel gently creaked, he pondered to himself: after the meeting, I will talk to her. I will arrange that date. Then in a moment of levity, he laughed at the notion of the Dark One on the dating scene.