Author's Note: I would like to apologise for the unnecessary lateness of this epilogue. There was summer, and then there was the beginning of school, and then there were sudden bursts of inspiration for other fanfics. Yeah, I don't really have an excuse, though. Anyway, I want to thank everyone for this wild ride! I love you all~!
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. Obviously. I doubt the creators of Supernatural would write terrible slash fics.
Warnings: Swearing? Implied make out sessions?
Edit: I'm so sorry, but considering the fact that this site doesn't exactly make it easy to edit past chapters, I sort of doubt the second chapter will get that nasty tense change fixed. Which sucks. Big time. *Twiddles thumbs and looks guilty* Heheheheheh...

Epilogue

"Wakey, wakey, sunshine!" sounded Becky's overly-cheery voice. "I've come to announce the growth of your dick!"

"W-what?"

"Hear that gravelly, sexy voice? Yes, that's right, you have officially become a man! Now you can have fun with your new genitalia for only two payments of $9.99!"

Dean nodded his thanks at Becky, shot up, rushed to the mirror, and was met with the (according to Cas) "pleasing" sight of his real face.

"You gonna go sex up your boyfriend now in celebration?" Becky offered, obnoxiously pointing to the papers she held in one hand. "I need some fanfiction inspiration!"

"I'm not really... up for threesomes, Becky," Dean grunted, all the while rubbing his hands lovingly over his five o'clock shadow.

"Stop looking at your wonderful examples of manliness and get to the wild, passionate love-making!"

"I have to go tell Cas!" Dean flew out the door and left Becky to stand awkwardly in his room.

"Don't ignore me!"

Cas stood calmly in the kitchen and tried to ignore the fact that his brother was passionately kissing Sam instead of cooking breakfast. Deanna would kill him if he let the bacon burn, especially considering she spent well over fifty dollars buying a "lifetime supply of the most glorious thing on Earth".

"Hey, Shortstack, stop making out with my brother! I didn't pay fifty bucks for ashes!"

Cas whipped around to see Dean standing in the doorway, wearing a nightgown.

Gabriel choked (hopefully not on Sam's tongue), coughed, and stood in silence for a moment before bursting into unnecessarily loud laughter, whipping a camera out of thin air, and taking what seemed to be a thousand pictures.

"Not funny, Gabriel," Dean spat.

"Dean, Dean! Oh, God, oh mother of God, Jesus Christ. Dean, you're-" more laughter "-you're wearing a dress. Dean Winchester is wearing a dress. Oh Lord in Heaven, holy shit."

Dean gave him a furious look and walked over to examine the sizzling bacon. "If this is burnt, so help me God!"

There was a loud bang, a puff of smoke (which, at least, was better than fairy dust), and Chuck was suddenly in the kitchen.

"You called?"

Dean dropped the pan. Good thing there were leftovers in the fridge.

"I what? Chuck, what the hell are you doing here?" Dean aimed a positively heart-broken look at the pan on the floor, sighing as Gabriel whisked it away with a snap of his fingers. "You ruined my breakfast."

Charlie twiddled her thumbs nervously, but Becky seemed to simply light up like a firefly. "Oh, Dean, allow me to introduce you to God!"

Dean gave her an emotionless stare. "Allow you to introduce me to whom?"

"God? The Lord? The Big Guy in the Sky? The Bearded Halo Man? Star of Christianity, with co-star and, frequently, copilot Jesus Christ?"

"That's Chuck," Dean said, his expression subtly taking on a more pained note. "Are you telling me that Chuck is God? That the guy who Cas spent a large chunk of time searching for - and didn't find, by the way - was right under our noses the whole time?"

"Yes?" Becky offered, looking uncharacteristically anxious.

Dean promptly turned on his heels and stomped out.

That wasn't very good.

Becky, however, was a master of consolation. You know, because half her friends were fangirls that spent most of their lives sobbing into the pages of their poorly-written slash fics.

Not that this bothered Becky any.

Standing outside the door to the basement, she warned, "Dean, baby, come on, you precious little sugarplum. Don't make me come in there and glomp you to death!"

There was no reply.

"Sweetheart, pumpkin, don't let it get to you, okay? Chuck had his admittedly very awful reasons, but at least he chose to show his face at some point!"

There was still no reply. Becky frowned.

"Hun, Charlie, Chuck, and I are going to be staying here for a while yet, so you better get over it soon! You don't want to be Mr. Grumpyface forever, you know!"

That got a response. "You're staying?" Dean's voice was muffled from behind the door, and Becky pressed her ear against the cold wood.

"Yes, darlingcakes, we're staying."

There was a sigh, and the door slowly opened, luckily giving Becky enough time to jump back before she fell face-first against the flooring. Which, embarrassing, jeeze.

"I guess I can learn to get over it," he grumbled, inching his way out of the dark, damp cave of a room.

Seriously, not even Becky, fearless warrior woman, would venture in there. That was probably why Dean chose it to sulk away in, now that she thought about it.

He slithered guiltily back into the kitchen, Becky close on his heels, painfully managed an apology, and slithered away again.

There was a long, painfully awkward silence.

"Ehh, close enough," Gabriel said in response to Sam's obvious discomfort. "It's not like you can just get over that. Dad was MIA for at least a couple of thousand years."

Sam cringed. "That was probably the most awkward apology I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing."

"Tell me about it."

Dean shot up from where he was lying comfortably on his bed. Holy shit, he forgot all about "the talk." You know, where overprotective older brothers grab their shotgun and threaten their sibling's significant other with genital mutilation if they don't treat said sibling like some kind of princess?

Yeah, that talk.

He'd failed as a brother. What would Dad think of him now?

Rushing (and practically falling) down the stairs, Dean slammed open the door to the living room where Gabriel was casually kicking Sam's ass at Mortal Kombat.

"Gabriel, I have to talk to you!"

Gabriel slowly, cautiously turned his head in Dean's direction. "What is it, Dean-o?"

"Get your ass to my room and I'll tell you."

Two minutes and a flight of stairs later, Gabriel was standing awkwardly at the foot of Dean's bed, unaware of Sam eavesdropping outside the door.

"What are your intentions towards my brother?" Dean said, one eyebrow raised.

Gabriel made a face. "Oh God, we're having this conversation? Really, Dean?"

Dean practically growled. "Damn right we're having this conversation!"

"Fine, fine." Gabriel sighed and rubbed a hand across his face, suddenly looking more serious. "I'll treat him right, okay? But he's a big boy, Dean, he doesn't need his brother's protection... or, over-protection, in this case."

"I know, but it's my duty as a brother to tell you this. No harsh feelings."

Gabriel must have been taking lesson's from his moose of a boyfriend, because his puppy eyes were legitimately convincing. "I promise I won't screw this up."

Dean stared down at him, immune. "Mhmm? With your track record?"

Gabriel took a deep breath. "Dean, I love him, okay? We done?"

Silence.

Super-duper, ridiculously awkward silence.

"Yeah, we're done." Dean flinched, looking contrite. "I'm sorry. Uh, good, uhm, job and everything. With that. You know, the whole... yeah."

Gabriel huffed and opened the door... to Sam's shocked face.

Dean shoved him out and slammed it. No way he was dealing with THAT awkward love confession.

Which reminded him, he kind of had some of his own to be making.

Great. Just great.

Cas absently sat down next to Dean on his bed.

"So, uh, I'm a guy now," Dean started.

"Yes."

This was literally the weirdest moment of Dean's life. "You okay with that?"

"Obviously."

"So, we're good?"

"Yes, Dean, we're good."

Relief. Tangible relief. Dean could practically taste it. "Okay, good, awesome."

Cas leant in and kissed him.

Becky dropped her box of cereal and stared as Dean walked into the kitchen, covered in hickeys.

"Get me the laptop, Dee, and let me record you telling me all about your sexual conquests. Uhm, for science, of course. Strictly educational purposes."

Dean gave her a disturbed look. "Yeah, no." She paused for a moment, looking puzzled, before resuming, "And Dee is a girl's nickname. Are you guys really going to keep calling me that?"

Sam interrupted before Becky could reply, "Says the person who still has their nails painted."

Dean shrugged, grinning. "What? Green is a good colour on me!"

"Can I paint your nails more often?" Becky asked, all innocence and smiles.

Dean gave her a skeptical look before nodding. "As long as they're not orange. Orange doesn't complement my style."

Sam snorted and went back to reading his newspaper.

It was going to be a good year.

FIN.

Ending Author's Note: WOW. OKAY. I FINISHED MY FIRST MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. I'M JUST GOING TO GO EAT SOME NUTELLA AND CRY TEARS OF JOY FOR A WHILE. ...See you next fic? *Virtual hugs!*