title: i didn't know i could see the light

summery: "Huh...maybe death wasn't so bad. At least I was able to see her eyes one last time."

pairing: kol/bonnie

rating: T

disclaimer: i do not own vampire diaries. god, if I did...
is it wrong that i am currently sobbing while writing this? God, my life is pathetic.

For years, it had been darkness.

Absolute darkness.

No light, no light at all in this wretched world of pain, haze, blood, and lust.

And when that dagger had been plunged into his chest, he had found words forming on his lips.

"Thank...you..."

Nik never told anyone.

To be brought back a hundred years later, back to the world where he would crave death and crave the blood, he hated it. He hated every single moment of it.

So why not lash out? Why not wreck the havoc and the pain that his parents had created for him?

But it wasn't until much later when he laid eyes on that little witch that he realized that there wasn't just pain. There wasn't just the lust for blood.

There was light.

There was happiness.

And there was strength.

He felt a real smile break his lips when their eyes met. Her silvery green eyes crinkled right around the corners and that little bashful smile pulled her lips up. He had never had anyone look at him like that before. Most women he had compelled to his will or they would just immediately throw themselves at him but this girl...she looked him right in the eye and smiled before continuing on down the hallway.

Those eyes.

Those damn eyes.

Is it true what Shakespeare once wrote? That love entered through the eye?

Because if it was...

He was sure she would figure out who he was within minutes. He could feel the power radiating off of her...she was the Bennett witch. Of course she would know.

/

He couldn't get her off of his mind. Everything about her was just so damn...perfect.

With a beauty like that strolling around Mystic Falls, why weren't the guys lined up at her doorstep?

Oh, right. Because she was strong. Too strong for a lot of the these little weaklings. He wouldn't have put it past old Damon Salvatore to make a try for her but she probably would have shot him right down into the dust.

He caught himself thinking about her a lot over the next couple of days. About her smile, her dark curtain of hair, her eyes...her beautiful eyes.

He hoped he would see those beautiful eyes again.

/

He enjoyed bringing misery to the elder Salvatore. Making him feel what he was supposed to feel. He was a vampire, he wasn't supposed to be happy. He was supposed to be a killer like the rest of them, not a lowly little human-like amoeba.

Because he hated it. Because he wanted to feel it. He wanted to feel what it was like to be in love and to be happy.

He couldn't picture that would actually be brave enough to give him a chance.

Except her.

/

Those wide silvery emerald eyes glared back at him as he pins her to the wall. "How can they find the cure if you're dead?!"

She arched an eyebrow, like she wasn't afraid. How stupid was she-?

And then the strangest feeling took him over. Almost like he was being lifted off of his feet and brought into the air with the grace of an angel.

Ow! Well, that kind of hurt. He jumps to his feet and runs a hand through his hair, feeling the dull ache of the aneurism thudding away in his head. Damn, she was good.

Was it wrong that he was kind of turned on right now?

/

"Open the door and invite me in."

Oh, dear. He sounds like the big bad wolf in that idiotic fairy tale. And inside are his little pigs that he is going to chew to bits.

But as he walks in after the wench invites him in, he spots a comforter laying on the sofa. It is a deep emerald green with slashes of silvery grey through it, almost like the color of her eyes.

/

Saying goodbye to the world that had treated him like hell wasn't so hard. It was much easier than he thought it would be, as a matter of fact.

It was a world that he had explored every nook and cranny of for the past thousand years. A world that he loved and didn't love him back.

He wanted that once again. He wanted for it to be perfect and joyful and full of passion. Was it hard to believe that he wanted it all?

He saw those eyes once again. Those emerald eyes streaked with silver and bits of gold...

Huh. Maybe dying wasn't so bad.

He could see his brother's stricken face, like he actually cared.

But all he could really see was her.

Take care of her, Nik.

His eyes slipped closed as he let the darkness take him over for the last time.

/

And then he was so alive...

"Are you all right?"

He looks around wildly, finding himself looking into those silvery eyes. He takes in a few deep breaths, trying to get control of his speeding heart.

Wait a minute...his speeding heart?

"Kol?"

Did she just say his name?

Or was he already in the hellish afterlife where he would be tortured by her breathtaking eyes and her gentle voice?

"Kol, look at me!" she commanded him once again. There was a slap, sharp and stinging across his cheek before he could finally meet her eyes again. "You're all right," she whispers, her touch now delicate and tender. "This isn't going to last long."

He lifted his head, glancing down at a body that was not his own. A heart that was beating it's tattoo out of his chest...a voice that did not belong to him...

He was in the body of the professor. He was alive.

"I don't understand," he whispered, looking into her eyes once again. "I'm supposed to be dead."

"That you are," Bonnie confirms lightly. "But I needed to keep you undead so Damon and the rest of those idiots don't raise Silas."

.

.

.

Teehee! Shall I continue?

Kol's body didn't totally burn, right? So, is there still a chance? We didn't see it turn to ash so...

I need to rant for a minute here. I'm sorry but I just have too.

CAN JULIE PLEC BE ANY MORE CRUEL?!"

What's the point of having Kennett scenes if the possibility of them was going to be ripped away from us? What's the point of even bringing Kol back to kill him in the end? What's the flipping point of destroying a character that had so much opportunity? Why couldn't they just cast a crappy actor in the role so it'd be easier to say goodbye to them when they are killed off? This is how I felt when they killed Sage and Finn in Season 3. The casting of Cassidy and Casper was just brilliant and the loss of them after just a few episodes...damn.

Nate B. and Kat G. have been pushing for Kennett from day one and Kat has also been pushing for Bamon along with Ian Somerhalder, only for all of them to be ignored. Nina Dobrev has been asking for the triangle to be put on hold so she could work with Daniel Gillies some more, Paul Wesley has said countless times that he ships Steroline and would love to explore that more.

I thought writers allowed for actors to put their own ideas into the mix? Kind of like Supernatural, right?! They change producers and head writers every two seasons so they can keep their ideas fresh and clean cut, that's why that show has already been picked up for a ninth season! And...THEY LET THEIR ACTORS PUT THEIR IDEAS INTO THE MIX. I say, it's time for a new head producer on Vampire Diaries, maybe someone off of Supernatural or even Lost! I am just so sick and tired of loving a show from the beginning and then to have all of my hopes for it go down the drain. It's the same damn plot over and over again and that's why the ratings are plummeting. Promises of Klaroline/Steroline went right out the window when Klaus killed Carol Lockwood, hopes of Elejah were botched when Elijah kidnapped Elena, Mabekah's gone when April was introduced (even though I do ship April with Damon).

I am going to hope that there is some hope of bringing Kol back. Maybe when Idiots and Co. awake Silas, he will resurrect those who tried to bring him down, including Kol. Because I have a feeling that tvd has lost a lot of viewers after this episode.