Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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Z is for zonked.

"Demo," Engineer began as he looked at Demoman. "You're zonked, aren't ya?"

"Bonked?" Demoman looked slightly more than tipsy. "'m not bonked! Never have been before! What 'cha say that fer, Engie? Wha' s'it mean anyw-"

"No, Demo," Engineer sighed. "Zonked, not bonked. It means you're drunk, which you are."

"Oh, zonked?" Demoman took a swig of Scrumpy before saying, "No, I'm not! 'm pretty sure I'ma Demoman, actually…"

Engineer nearly growled. Just what he needed, Demoman drunk before a fight again… "How many bottles of booze have ya had, Demo?"

"Tha's not important! All that matters is'at ye think I'm bonked-"

"Zonked."

"That, too!"

Engineer groaned and slapped a hand to his forehead.

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Z is for zero.

Zero was never a good number around the BLUs. It was kind of unlucky.

Soldier ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He had to make it there, he just had to! If he could make one final push, the BLU team just might make it. He stuffed a few rockets into his rocket launcher and rocket jumped off the ground. In seconds Soldier was halfway to the final point of Badwater Basin. One more jump would get him there. The cart was just about to be pushed into the final point, but the REDs were putting up quite the fight. It also didn't help that their resupply room was so close. But Soldier had a plan. He was going to rocket jump right next to the cart and give it that one final push. The push to victory! Soldier loaded his rocket launcher once more and jumped away. Oh, his aim was awesome. He would land right next to the cart for sure. All he had to do next was-

"YOU FAILED."

As soon as Soldier heard that disappointing declaration, he frowned, lost his concentration, and promptly landed face first onto the ground. He couldn't give the cart the final push. The clock had hit zero.

Zero was also kind of scary.

Lyra watched the red dot carefully. The end of her tail flicked back and forth as she crept closer to it. Hesitating for one last second, she then sprang into the air and leaped for the dot. She landed right of top of it, but when she checked beneath her paws it was gone! The sneaky red dot appeared again a few feet away and she ran for it again. Scout snorted in laughter as he watched Lyra run all over Engineer's workshop, trying to catch the dot. He was sitting at a table and Engineer was sitting next to him. Blueprints were scattered all over the table. Engineer's eyes were glued to them.

Scout briefly looked over at Engineer for a moment. As he watched the Texan read and hum to himself, Scout had a wicked idea. He grinned. He flicked the laser pointer off and turned around in his chair so he was facing Engineer.

Lyra, a few feet away and on the ground, snapped her head up. Where had that evil red dot gone now? She began to sniff about the workshop, looking for it.

Scout, however, was currently staring very pointedly at Engineer, who made no indication he noticed. Scout suddenly held the laser pointer out and pointed it at Engineer.

Engineer didn't move and continued his humming and reading of his blueprints.

Scout flicked the laser pointer on and rapidly turned it off again.

Still, Engineer didn't move.

Scout still grinned. He turned it on again and soon the red dot was flying all over Engineer's face. But Engineer wasn't moving! Scout now frowned. He rapidly turned the laser pointer on and off over Engineer's goggles. Maybe the goggles were too thick and the laser couldn't-

"Scout."

The laser pointer was flicked off. "Yeah?"

"I would appreciate it if ya didn't flicker the laser pointer right in mah eyes," Engineer said, not looking up from the blueprints.

"'Kay," Scout nodded. He turned the laser pointer on again and looked at it. Curious, he shined it into his own eye. Bad idea. He quickly moved it away and rubbed at his eyes. It must have been bright enough to penetrate Engineer's goggles, but it wasn't like Scout was going to try that again. He sighed in a clear, bored manner. "What 'cha readin', Engie?" He set the laser pointer down and picked up a blueprint.

"Blueprints," Engineer answered obviously.

"Ya don't say," Scout replied sarcastically as he picked up another.

"Scout, stop pickin' 'em up. I've got them organized in a certain way here 'n' you're messin' 'em up."

"I was just lookin'," Scout retorted glumly as he set the blueprints back down.

"Well, I'm almost done with 'em 'n' I can't get done with 'em when you're messin' 'em up. I'll be done in a few so jus' hold your horses," Engineer replied, eyes still on the blueprints.

"Ugh," Scout groaned and slumped down his chair. He felt Lyra brush against his leg and he reached down to pet her briefly before picking the laser pointer back up. Bored, Scout flicked it back on. He began to trace the lines of the blueprints in front of him with the red dot. It looked like it was some sort of advanced sentry. Scout wasn't really focused on it as he twirled the red dot around the pictures of it. Maybe it was-

Suddenly, Lyra jumped up onto the table, tearing after the red dot. Scout jumped a little and, in his surprise, turned the laser pointer off.

That didn't stop Lyra, though. Thinking the red dot had just hidden itself beneath the blueprints, she scrambled across the entire table. That sent blueprints flying and caused a nearly full soda can to tip over and onto some blueprints.

Engineer had jumped as well and was leaning back in his chair, watching openmouthed.

After a few minutes of batting at blueprints with her paws, Lyra decided the red dot wasn't there. She sat down right in the middle of the table and meowed in despair.

Engineer and Scout just stared at the cat for a moment. Then Engineer whipped his head around to glare at Scout.

Scout dared to tear his gaze away from Lyra to look back at Engineer. Oh, the Texan did not look happy… He briefly glanced down at the laser pointer in his hand and then back up to Engineer, who still didn't look any happier. Scout laughed nervously and hid the laser pointer behind his back. "She did it," he then said as he pointed at Lyra.

"Uh-huh," Engineer crossed his arms and raised an unhappy eyebrow. "Scout, ya have 'till zero to get outta mah workshop before I do something I won't regret."

"Uhh-"

"Zero."

"Oh, jeez!"

Sometimes, zero was just something one should avoid at all costs.

Medic walked into kitchen, intend on getting a late night snack. As he walked into said room, he glanced to his left to see a few of the other BLUs playing cards at the kitchen table. Spy and Scout were, unsurprisingly, playing. Demoman and Pyro were also playing. They each a number of cards in their hands. As Medic walked past the table and towards the fridge, he asked, "Vhat are you all playing?"

"Poker," Demoman replied.

"Ah," Medic said as he pulled some leftover cheesy potatoes ("Cheesy potaters," Sniper would insist) out of the fridge. After he heated them up on a plate, Medic walked back over to the table to briefly watch. "Zhe round almost done?"

"Yep," Scout nodded.

"And how is it going?"

"Not good!" Demoman declared unhappily, before slapping his cards on the table. "I fold."

"Mrph hurr…" Pyro huffed and rested his head on his hand, staring at his cards.

"This does not look good," Scout said, keeping his eyes on his cards.

Medic looked over to Spy. "And how are you doing, Spy?" he asked before walking back over to the microwave to pull out his snack.

Spy was grinning rather widely and making no move to hide it. "Oh, I don't want to say," he dodged the question, but it was clear from his smug voice he was doing more than fine. "Care to join us, Medic?"

"How many rounds haf you all played?" He took a bite of his cheesy potatoes.

"Oh, only a few."

Medic quickly swallowed before asking, "And how many rounds haf you lost, Spy?"

Spy's grin grew. "Zero.

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Z is for zoo.

This wasn't good. That was a major understatement, Spy realized as soon as he thought about it. This was very, very bad. He should have realized how bad it was when the robots attacked their base. He should have realized how bad it was when the Administrator told them respawn was down. Spy should have realized it. It was too late now, of course. The damage had been done. The robots had gotten into their actual base, where they lived. And now the base looked just awful. Holes in the walls, some smoke still filled the air, doors ripped off hinges, broken windows, and probably even more damage about than Spy had yet to see. Unfortunately, the damage to the base wasn't the worst part.

The BLUs were hit hard, but no one had died. Yet. Medic was in the infirmary, working like a madman. The three beds of the infirmary were taken up by Demoman, Heavy, and Soldier. Spy wasn't aware of their current conditions, though. Perhaps they were okay, and perhaps not. Medic was doing the best he could, Spy was sure. He could hear the man's frantic footfalls. It was a good thing Engineer had rigged up a dispenser for the German in the infirmary. While Medic healed his patients' wounds, it healed his. Engineer was no where to be found, though. Spy realized he wasn't aware of Sniper's location either. Perhaps they were okay, and perhaps not. Spy was a bit too busy to worry about their locations at the moment. Busy trying not to pass out.

Spy's left arm was the main problem. Most of it was burned, but he grit his teeth to bear it. It was beginning to go numb now anyways. One of his ankles was incredibly sore and he hoped it wasn't sprained. Other than his arm and ankle and a few cuts and bruises, that was about it. He was better than most. Pyro was probably worse. It was hard to tell. Spy sat outside of the infirmary, not in a chair, but on the ground. Pyro was sitting, slumped against the wall, across from him. Spy couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. He wasn't moving. That gaping hole in his suit around his stomach area might have something to do with that. Scout wasn't too good either. The Bostonian was sitting next to him, eyes closed. His legs were unfortunately the worst. Multiple tears in Scout's pants led to bloodied skin and bruises beneath. Spy wondered how many more bruises lay beneath Scout's clothes. The Bostonian hadn't been able to walk after the battle. Spy forgot who had (or better yet, was able) to carry him in.

Thinking about his teammates made Spy remember something. "You're not asleep, are you, Scout?" he suddenly asked, surprised at how tired his voice sounded.

After a second, Scout shifted a bit. "Almost was," he grumbled, cracking open his eyes. Blinking, he looked to his right and at Spy. "I wanna go to sleep, though."

Spy leaned his head back against the wall. "Medic said not to."

"But my legs're sore 'n' m'tired," Scout whined.

"Doctor's orders."

Scout suppressed another whine and leaned his head back against the wall. A silence fell between the two.

After a few moments, Spy soon noticed Scout's eyes fluttering and having trouble staying open. "Scout," he warned.

Scout just grunted.

"Eyes open," Spy commanded.

Scout's eyes opened once more. They glared at Spy.

"ow are your legs?"

Scout sighed. Knowing Spy was just trying to help keep him awake, he replied, "Not any better. Still throbbin' in pain 'n' all. Feet hurt, too." He suddenly shifted again, trying to lift one of his legs up. It shook as he tried to lift it a foot or so off the ground. "And it still hurts to move 'em."

"Zen don't," Spy snapped and Scout relaxed again.

"How's your arm?" Scout asked, turning slightly to face Spy.

Spy tried to wiggle the fingers on his left hand, but it hurt too much. He stopped trying. "Same as you: not any better."

"It looks awful," Scout commented. "Does it still hurt?"

"Not as much as before."

"Liar."

"And you would know?" Spy grinned questioningly at Scout, who just stuck his tongue out in reply. Spy resisted the urge to roll his eyes and looked down at his injured arm. His grin melted away. It actually really hurt to move his fingers and it hurt even more to move his wrist. The skin on his arm was a horrid mess and Spy couldn't bear to stare at it for too long. When he looked back up, he found Scout's eyes closed again. "Scout," Spy snapped again. "Eyes."

Scout gave a wordless whine, but didn't open his eyes.

"Talk, Scout," Spy said. "Ramble. Eet will keep us both awake."

Scout opened an eye. "You're tired, too?"

"Oui, very."

"Oh," Scout said simply and opened his other eye to look at the ground.

He must have been quiet for too long because Spy started to say, "Scout-"

"I wanna go to a zoo."

"Quoi?"

"Y'know, a zoo," Scout said. He moved to sit a little straighter. "I haven't been to one since I was, like, a kid."

"Hm," Spy hummed in thought, relieved Scout was distracting them.

"You been to a zoo before, Spy?"

Spy frowned. He honestly couldn't recall. "I don't know," he replied. "If I 'ave, eet was a long time ago. Long before I could remember."

"When we're done with this fightin' 'n' shit, you wanna go to a zoo with me?"

Suddenly, Pyro shifted, causing both Scout and Spy to look across at him. Had he been awake this whole time? "Cnahf cnff?" he asked weakly. It came out raspy (much more so than usual) and almost not understandable.

"Yeah, Py," Scout answered, grinning. "You can come, too."

Pyro's response was undistinguishable, but it sounded somewhat happy sounding. He then slumped against the wall once more.

"You're comin', right, Spy?" Scout asked again, looking back to Spy.

"Oui," Spy said after a moment, allowing his lips to turn upwards. "After zhe fighting is done, we will go to a zoo."

"Cool," Scout's grin grew and he closed his eyes once more.

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A/N: Ha ha. See what I did there? References. I just love 'em.

But I'm afraid that will be the last reference. For this story is over. Done. Complete. Finished.

I must thank you all for the support! Thank you for the reviews and words of kindness! As always, I'm glad so many people enjoyed this. It's been fun!