*Hakumen is walking(like a boss) through the streets of Kagutsuchi, for no apparent reason. Well, other then the incoming flurry of attacks headed his way.*

"HM?"

*Hakumen spams his Drive. That's about it.*

"If you planned on ambushing me, intruder, then you will be disappointed."

*The one who attempted to attack Hakumen... was the Red Devil. He KNEW those Spark Bolts looked familiar! Something was off, however. How was he quickly recharging his Spark Bolt meter? Hakumen calls hax.*

"Did the Grimalkin give you another upgrade? It makes no difference."

*Hakumen readies his sword.*

"Hakumen, keep your cool. I'm not here to pick fights with you right now!" It was Kokonoe, Tager's 'radio buddy'. She claims to come here in peace, but you should never trust a mad scientist.

"I have no time for you!"

*Hakumen attempts to slash Tager with his really, really giant sword. Tager does his infamous backstep, which he would have followed up with an equally-as-infamous Distortion Drive. He really did want to fight, but he doesn't want to be in a maid outfit again.*

"Hakumen, calm down! At least hear what she has to say!"

"So be it. If it is a waste of my time, then mark my words, I will come for you, Grimalkin!"

*Kokonoe snorts. Very loudly. Disgusting!*

"HAH! I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"

"ERRRGHHH..."

"Kokonoe! Provoking him isn't going to help!"

"Alright, jeez Tager, ease up a little. I'm just having a little fun with this dumbass, can't you see?"

*Hakumen clenches his fists. The massive amount of disrespect coming from Kokonoe... It's really ANNOYING!*

"OUT WITH IT! Tell me what you have to say!"

"Alright, Hakumen. I don't know if you can tell, but your buddy Rachel is really absent nowadays."

"That's true. How do you know?"

"I ain't telling you jack shit just yet. Not until I tell you this first." Kokonoe readies her throat. "Rachel is busy giving Terumi the sex!"

"Wha-"

"The KINKY KINKY Sex!"

"How is th-"

"Did I mention it was kinky?"

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME." Hakumen's angry tone keeps her mouth shut for at least 5 seconds. "How did this happen? Is she now a traitor!?"

"Maybe. All I know is that she's got Terumi to do ANYTHING, and I really mean ANYTHING she wants! Hahaha!"

"...So how does this concern me?!"

"I want you to retrieve Terumi from Rachel for me! Pretty simple!"

"And what do you offer in return?"

"Pictures of Tsubaki with her pants off!"

"WHAT? YOU DARE TAKE PHOTOS OF HER IN A VULNERABLE STATE?"

"Soo... is that a yes?"

"YES."

"Wow. I know she's dead in some other dimension, but are you really desperate to get some of that red-headed booty, even in a picture?"

"Do you want Terumi, or not, Grimalkin?"

"I'll shut up now."

*Hakumen didn't think this through. How in the world is he going to access Castle Alucard without teleportation? Rachel herself needs to teleport him to her home, and who knows where SHE is right now.*

"I need to find Valkenhayn. Maybe he has the ability to call her here." Of course, Valkenhayn is also in Castle Alucard, and he can't get out without the help of his master. Why couldn't Valkenhayn learn teleportation? Sheesh.

"Then instead, I will seek after Terumi."

*Hakumen heads towards Kagutsuchi's NOL branch.*

"WHERE IS TERUMI WHEN YOU NEED HIM?" He's not at the cauldron, and he's not at... well, the cauldron. He's pretty sure the only place he SHOULD be is around the cauldron. But then again, the whole NOL is empty. So why is he hearing a cry for help...?

Can Terumi be attacking innocent citizens? He'd better go investigate!

*Hakumen sneaks up on the targeted door, that appears to lead to an office. There, he uses his SUPER AWESOME HEARING ATTACK on the door. This ability allows him to hear sound coming from wood! Good for wooden doors! Pretty neat!*

"Terumi, you naughty boy... oh, not there! Oh, as you wish..."

Hakumen doesn't widen his eye. He doesn't have eyes. Well, technically he does, they just aren't visible, but who cares. "Is that... the observer? Terumi must be in there!" A sudden halt. Rachel appears to be saying something.

"Do I hear Hakumen? Terumi, please go check!"

"No."

"This is for me! Please?"

"No!"

"If you persist on this meaningless argument, then I will have to give you a suitable punishment."

And ON, and ON, and ON. How long will this happen? It's annoying, really, and he plans on slicing the door into two, and making them explode for no reason.

And so he did.

*Hakumen slices the wooden door into two, and made it explode for no reason.*

"Wha?!"

"Why, if it isn't Haku! Long time no see!" Hakumen could see deep hatred in his soul. Rachel must have been busy... REALLY busy.

"Silence, Terumi. I have come to retrieve you, as a request from the Grimalkin."

*Rachel suddenly appears in front of Hakumen.*

"If Kokonoe wants to take turns with him, then tell her that I decline giving her the chance."

"She doesn't want to do crude things with him. She wants me to take him away from you, so she may avenge her mother, Nine."

"Likely story, Mr. Hero. I refuse handing my valuable asset to a... crazy whore like her!"

"I don't have time to waste. If I don't get Terumi, then I will perish you." Hakumen notices that Rachel is in no shape to fight. "And you appear to be unprepared for it. So I advise that you should HAND OVER TERUMI."

*Hazama laughs maniacally.*

"KEKEKEKEKEKE! Thanks buddy, I knew I could count on you!"

*Hakumen ponders on why Hazama is even laughing. Until then, he sees that Hazama is now dressed in his usual attire and is standing next to the doorway. Hazama is going to escape!*

"If I need some doors that need to explode, I'll be sure to call you! KEKEKEKEKEKEKEkekeke..." Hazama flies away. Drats!

"Now look what you've done, Mr. Hero. Do you know the amount of force it took to make him sit down with me to do the kinky, kin-"

"Save it for the Grimalkin. I'm going to track down Terumi." Hakumen starts walking out. "And if you plan on interfering, then feel free to get yourself killed."

*Hazama travels across Kagutsuchi with tremendously high speeds. He really doesn't know where he's headed, but he feels like he needs some wind through his face, instead of a flat chest.*

"Ooo boy, IT FEELS GREAT! Glad that's over with. Now, what am I going to do about those two...?"

"Meow! It's scary guy! I'm going pounce on him naow!" A WILD CATGIRL APPEARED.

"Is... that a fucking cat? Get away from ME!" HAZAMA USED JAYOKU HOTENJIN. IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE. No, srsly.

*COUNTER*

"MEOW! That hurts, green guy!"

"Oh sorry, I guess I should see where my feet go next time!" Hazama walks casually away. "Adios!"

"Hey! Wait! No one gets away with kicking Tao in the face! Not without buying Tao some foooooood! Meow!"

"Hah! If you think that's going to get you food, then guess again. miss. If you didn't notice, I intentionally kicked you in the face so that mysterious little face of yours can SHUT UP about all that 'MEOW I NEED FOOD' crap. Now go away!"

"That's sooo mean!... Are you sure you don't want to buy Tao some food?"

"I'M PRETTY DAMN SURE. TAKE A HINT ALREADY, DAMNIT!"

"You suuuuuuuuuuure?"

"Oh no, I'm not JUUUST sure. I'm VEEERRRYYY SUUURE."

"Reeeeeeeeeaaallllly?"

"ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG "

*Hazama really did not succumb to Tao's technique. He could reject her FOREVER(despite it being the most annoying experience of his life). It's just that... she's currently hugging his left leg so hard that it's starting to go numb. Of course, he's ignoring this, but he's going too slow.*

"Erg! This is why I HATE CATS!"

*Then the evil Ragna the Bloodedge appears!*

"You piece of shit! GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE POLICE STATION OR I'LL KILL YOU."

"Why, whaddaya know? It's you, Rags!"

"You degenerate son of a bitch. I'll never forgive you after what you did to-"

"Yeah, yeah. Could you do a little favor for me? I have this really annoying cat on my leg, and I'm also probably being chased."

"I'M NEVER GOING TO DO ANY STUPID FAVORS FOR YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"Hey! Good Guy! Want to buy some food for me? :3" Taokaka decides to speak up on the little exchange between Ragna and Hazama. It was a really bad time to do so. "I'm REALLLY hungry, and green guy won't buy food for me, meow!"

*Tao's stomach grumbles.*

"So about that annoying cat I mentioned... I'll pay you to take care of her!"

"NEVER. NOW DIE!"

*Ragna throws a Dead Spike at Hazama. It misses.*

"I'll pay you ten dollars if you can get her off of me!"

"CARNAGE SCISSORS!"

*Ragna attempts to attack Hazama. It misses.*

"How about 20?"

"INFERNO DIVIDER!"

*Ragna tries to slice Hazama. Yeah, it totally hit him.*

"At this rate, it would be cheaper for me to buy food for her then to bribe you. Alright, game's over pal."

*Hazama prepares for his grand finale, his Astral Heat. As stupid as Ragna is, he lunges straight at him during the attack animation.*

ASTRAL FINISH!

PERFECT!

*Taokaka is eating in large amounts while Hazama is just taking sips on his drink. Currently, they are in the Orient Town restaurant.*

"Meow! Thanks, creepy guy! You really saved my life! Tao was about to starve to death!"

"Don't mention it, you fucking cat! It was my pleasure!"

*While that whole exchange is going on, Hakumen sits on a table, distant from the duo's. He's got the menu over his face(or mask), which is surprisingly helping him blend in.*

"Terumi! I've got you in my grasp. Now, time to end this foolish chase..."

*Unknown to Hakumen, however, Rachel takes the seat next to Hakumen, a menu ALSO over her face.*

"Not without me in the way, Mr. Hero!"

"YOU. Stay out of this, observer. Your attempts to stop me will only be suicide."

"If you plan on taking him away from me, then the risk is well worth it!"

"You are begging for death, observer! If it is what you wish for, I will gladly serve it to you!"

*Hazama notices the two arguing. It's weird how he can hear them when Tao is OM NOM NOMing on her foods loudly.*

"Hey, can you wrap this up? I gotta boogie!"

"NOT IN A MILLION YEARS! THIS IS HEAVEN! Meeeooooow~"

"Alright seriously... Let's go!"

"Why didn't you tell Tao that you have UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF MONEY! Tao would have dined with you more!"

"You call this a 'dine?' I beg to differ, you lil' brat!"

*The debate between Hakumen and Rachel seemed to have calmed down a bit. Both have a temporary truce, as they don't want Terumi to notice both of them.*

"Don't kill him! He's got good intentions, he didn't mean to ki-"

"Good intentions? Both of us know that you are on the losing side of this meaningless argument."

"Maybe so, Mr. Hero. But you shouldn't turn him in to Kokonoe..." Rachel schemes a little. Maybe a little bribery is in play...? "...Because I will pay more to keep him intact!"

"How so? I doubt that you have something better than pictures of Tsu-"

"I'll pay you with sex."

"NO."

"Then WHAT in the world will make you accept to keep him alive?"

Hakumen ponders a little. A light bulb pops up on his head! "REMOVE ME FROM YOUR CHAINS."

"Do you mean in the sexual way? If so, I will not allow you to perform a 'threeway' with my captive."

"NO. I will not be your servant anymore. I will do no requests, nor favors. Swear to me that you will NEVER appear before me again after this."

*Unknown to both Hakumen and Rachel, Tager also sits in the same table. How in the hell did he blend in?"

"Don't listen to Rachel! I'm giving you these incredibly rare photos, and not accepting them would be equal to screwing yourself over!" This was Kokonoe talking. Tager doesn't want to be involved in this, so he just puts his head down into shame.

"Shut up, Kokonoe! I accept your offer, Hakumen. Now begone!"

"This will be the last time I do anything you say, observer. Farewell."

*Before Hakumen could get up off the chair, however, Tager signals for him to stop, and begins to speak.*

"Wait! You do realize I payed for both of your meals? Your not going to go without actually eating some of the food I payed with my own money!"

"..." Both Rachel and Hakumen actually start to notice the food on the table that somehow appeared. Is that why they were looking at the menu?

*Rachel, Hakumen, Tager and Kokonoe sit in awkward silence as both Hakumen and Rachel eat the food. Kokonoe gives Rachel some menacing glares, and Rachel tries her best to ignore everyone else. Tager, of course, shuts down his surroundings completely while eating, and Hakumen refuses to eat his food(cause of his mask).*

"SCREW THIS. TAGER, LAUNCH YOURSELF AT THAT GREEN BASTARD AND TAKE HIM WITH YOUR OWN GODDAMN HANDS!"

"...Urgh. Roger that, Kokonoe."

*Hazama puts his head down on the table. It's meaningless! This cat really can't listen to any word he says! He has no choice but to 'slap' some sense into her.*

"Well, if your not going to even consider what I have to say, then maybe you'll change your mind after I'm done with you, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Hazama stands up and walks to the other side of the table, while preparing his knife. Hazama also dodged a flying Tager, who goes through the wall and goes God-knows-where.

"CURSE YOU TEERRRRUUUMMMIIIIIIII..."

"Was that Kokonoe? Haha! Now where was I?... Oh, right! I was going to kill this annoying pest!"

"Terumi!"

"Look! It's the sex-hungry vampire! No way in hell I'm going to let you sit on my lap again!"

"Meddling with this... CAT? 'Slapping' some sense into her? How dare you! If you were into Kaka's, then I would have gladly cosplayed as one!"

"Stop reading the words between the asterisks, shithead. I'm not into this idiot!" Hazama turns really pissed. "In fact, I've had enough of both of you! RESTRICTION 666 RELEASED. DIMENSI-"

"If you want green guy, you can't have him, meow! Go find someone else to feed you! Tao claimed dibs on him first!"

"WHAT? 'DIBS?' I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I CLAIMED DIBS ON HIM BEFORE YOUR PARENTS PROCREATED, YOU AMATEUR!"

"Woah, ladies, ladies! Let me finish my sentence first, damnit!"

"Meow."

"FOOLING AROUND WITH THIS SCANDALOUS WHORE, TERUMI? YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU!"

"Of course I do know! That's why I'm giving this lady a taste of my snake~!"

"THE NERVE! AM I NOT PLEASING YOU ENOUGH? I WILL OUTPERFORM THIS MORTAL IN BED!"

"Hey! That's my whore you're talking about! I doubt you can do better then her, she's really wild in bed!"

*Rachel summons lightning upon Hazama. SHOCKING!"

"Did I mention she's got a nice set of meat buns, too? It's something you'll never have~! KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE-"

*Rachel summons more lightning.*

"KEKEKEKEKEKekekeke! I'm going to have to say goodbye to you, shitty vampire! Say hi to Valkenhayn for me!"

*Hazama grabs Taokaka and uses Ouroboros to fly out of harms way. Rachel is currently 500 Degrees... Celsius.*

"You said something about meat buns, right? Did you have any that Tao can eat?!"

"No, and try not to talk so much, damnit! I'm feeling my allergies kick in!"