This fic was written as a mini bang entry for The Mentalist Big Bang at Livejournal. Just a oneshot I thought up because I've read several Jane/Lisbon fics where they have to share a hotel room and they end up kissing, sleeping together, cuddling, or something like that. Nothing wrong with those fics; I just wanted to write something different.
I don't own anything. I just borrow the characters to play with. I always give them back.
She pushed open the door and dropped her suitcase down by the television. "One bed. Of course."
"Relax, Lisbon," Jane said. "We're going to be in this room less than eight hours."
"It's so ridiculous," Lisbon ranted. "We should be on the plane back to Sacramento right now, but no. We're in this crummy hotel room because you decided that catching the killer wasn't enough, you had to bust the brother for two timing the ex – wife and the neighbor."
"You're placing all the blame on me," Jane said, "when the reality is, if that man hadn't been driving drunk on the highway, we wouldn't have been stuck in traffic and missed the flight."
"If we'd left forty minutes earlier, we would have been ahead of the accident, and we wouldn't have missed the flight," Lisbon retorted. "So basically…" she trailed off, folded her arms, and tapped her foot. "Basically this is your fault. You never listen to me, and now look where we are."
"Oh, come on, Lisbon," Jane said. "Were you really this excited about sharing a room with Van Pelt?"
"I'm considering sharing with her anyway," Lisbon said.
"You'd take a hacking cough and projectile vomiting over me?" Jane said. "That hurts, Lisbon." He walked back toward the door and opened the one to the bathroom.
She rolled her eyes, picking up her suitcase again and setting it on the ottoman. "We're getting up in six hours to get back to the damn airport," she called. "Try and get some sleep."
"I'm not going to sleep in the bathroom!" he called.
"I don't care where you sleep," she grumbled.
"What?" he yelled from the bathroom.
"Nothing!" She snapped.
Jane, upon exiting the bathroom, took off his jacket and looked curiously at her as she lowered herself onto the small couch by the window. "What are you doing?"
She cocked her head and furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm trying to get some sleep." She rolled over so her back was to him, facing the back of the couch. "I'm not a hypocrite," she mumbled, closing her eyes in the hope that her headache would go away.
Jane cocked his own head. "You're not going to sleep in the bed?"
"It's a tiny bed, Jane," she said.
"You're a tiny person," he said. "I'm certainly not going to sleep in it. You may as well use it; you'll be more comfortable."
Lisbon didn't roll over, but she craned her neck around to look at him. "The couch is even tinier. You take it. I sleep better than you, anyway. That bed might help."
"A strange bed won't do anything for my insomnia," Jane said. "Seriously. What kind of man would I be if I slept in the bed?"
"One that feels like a woman can make her own decisions and is respectful enough of a tired co – worker to not argue with her over something like this?"
"Ah," Jane said. "She's tired, frustrated, and stressed, and she's taking it out on chivalry. And people wonder why it's almost nonexistent these days." He turned off the light, folded his coat, put it on the floor, and then lay down, resting his head on the clothing.
Lisbon rolled over. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to get some sleep," Jane responded. "See, I do listen to you sometimes."
"Ugh," Lisbon said. "Jane, would you just take the damn bed?"
"Nah," Jane said. "The mattresses are just too soft for my back. This floor, now, the floor is quite lovely."
"Mmm," Lisbon said, rolling back over and dropping her head.
Silence. Then Jane spoke. "Don't you want to move to the bed?"
"God, Jane," she said. "I told you. I'm fine right here."
"You just don't want it because I told you that you could have it."
"Maybe that's why you don't want it," she said.
"I already told you why I don't want it," Jane said. "It won't help me sleep. You're just being difficult."
"Jane," Lisbon said, "if you want the bed, take it. If you don't want it, fine, but don't get on my case about it, okay? It's been a long day, and I'm tired. Please. You've given me enough crap today."
Silence. And then, "all right," Jane conceded. "Good night, Lisbon."
"Night."
There was another silence, and then it was Lisbon's turn to break it. "Don't think conceding this issue means I've forgiven you for making us miss the plane."
Agent Cho knocked on the door. It wasn't daylight yet, but he knew that his boss would have preferred that they get to the airport with plenty of time to spare so they weren't delayed back to Sacramento again.
There was no answer. "Boss," he said, knocking again. Still nothing. "Come on, we gotta go!" he called.
The door next to him opened and a middle aged man, looking disheveled, stuck his head out. "Hey," he said to Cho, "keep it down, would you? It's six in the morning."
Cho apologized, looking at the door and deciding that going into the room wouldn't be inappropriate. His boss wanted to be on this plane, and she was already sharing a room with Jane, it's not like he'd catch her in her pajamas. Using the copy of the room key that he'd gotten from Van Pelt, Cho activated the door and opened it.
He was met with two very sleepy co – workers. Jane, on the floor, lifted his head and rolled over onto his stomach to see Cho better. Lisbon, curled up on the couch, sat up and looked sleepily over her shoulder at him. Next to his boss, and adjacent to Jane, was the single bed, completely made up, the pillows not even taken from under the covers.
Cho took this all in in an instant, and he almost smirked. "Of course."