STANDING
SETTINGS: Season Six, set after Tabula Rosa, (Giles is gone, and can we just pretend that Spike and Buffy NEVER kissed, not even after the musical) DISCLAIMER: Not mine, yadda yadda, don't sue. NOTES: Kind of a companion piece to 'Phone call' but some things don't exactly follow on. Same characters Daniel and Emma.
ONWARDS:
STANDING: CHAPTER ONE
Some nights were just unbearable for Buffy Summers. Tonight was no exception.
Giles had left, Willow and Tara were fighting and Spike was still being obnoxious about the issue of 'them'. Patrolling wasn't getting any easier either.
Giles had left so that Buffy would be more likely to find and stand on her own two feet rather than using him as a support post, but all she knew was that once again, someone she loved had left her.
She walked slowly, not really wanting to go home too early. Dawn, Willow and Tara had been suffocating her since they had discovered the truth about where she had been in death. Willow was feeling guilty, and rightly so. Dawn was just miserable about it, and Tara was being quietly pissed off at Willow.
She spun quickly as a crunch of leaves came from behind her, her stake at the ready. She groaned as she saw the blond vampire standing behind her, a smug grin on his face.
"Go away," she said testily, beginning to walk away from him. He caught up with her easily.
"Now, why would I wanna do that pet?" he asked cheekily, bringing a cigarette to his lips and taking a quick drag. "Figured you'd want some company an all, seeing as Watcher boy skipped town."
"Don't," she warned as she felt a flicker of pain travel through her at the mention of her Watcher.
Spike felt a pain of guilt rush through him as he saw the hurt hidden in her eyes.
"I'm sorry.I shouldn't have said that. Look, why don'tcha take the rest of the night off? I'll finish off here," he offered.
She sighed, tempted to take him up on the offer. "No, it's fine. I should be the one to do it. As much as I hate to admit it, Giles was right. I was getting to do what was meant to be my duty," she said, hating that Giles had been completely justified in leaving her.
Spike nodded, silently agreeing with Buffy's Watcher. "That doesn't mean that you can't have company though. That's always what was different about you luv, you had people there with you. No other Slayer had that."
"I bet no other Slayer had their Watchers up and leave on them either," Buffy said bitterly.
Spike hesitated before telling her what she least wanted to hear. "He did the right thing."
Buffy sighed and stopped walking, leaning casually against a headstone. "I know.I get that, really I do.it's just."
"You feel like another man's let you down," Spike finished.
She stared at him in shock, wondering when Spike had become so intuitive. Then again, he'd always been able to read her.
"How did-"
"Don't look so shocked pet. S'not that hard to work out. Between your dad and sodding Peaches plus your nancy boy solider, I'm not bloody surprised," he explained.
Buffy shifted over, making room for Spike to lean beside her. She rested her head against his shoulder, enjoying the comfort of the leather.
"You love him," he said, stating it, not questing.
She went to deny it, but stopped herself.
"It's complicated.I just.since I got back, there's been two people that I could really count on, that actually got that I wasn't dealing. You and Giles. You were both.you didn't want to push me or pressure me, and.you were there when I needed you," she said softly.
Spike smiled a little and touched her shoulder without the awkwardness that he had displayed the first time he had tried to sympathise with her.
"Did you tell him? About where you really were? I mean before belting out that tune?" he asked.
"No, and I feel completely stupid cos I know he would have helped me. So much. I just.he was so happy to have me back that I just couldn't tell him the truth. Then, when he was going off at Willow.he was angry that she had brought me back when he thought I'd been in hell. How much worse would it have been if he had known the truth? He would have burst a gasket. I just couldn't.I didn't want to hurt him, but.I think I hurt him more by not telling him."
Tears slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them away hastily, hating that she was showing Spike her weaknesses and vulnerability.
"I'm sure he understood," Spike said comfortingly.
She nodded and stood up abruptly. "He always did.even if I didn't understand. Plus, he hasn't been wrong before so.if I want him back here, I'm gonna have to get my act together."
"You do that pet. And if you want company, you know where I'm at."
She smiled gratefully and thanked him.
"If there's anything you need, or if you just wanna talk.well, I got willing ears and a pretty comfy shoulder," he said with a grin.
"Thank you.honestly, you've been incredibly these last few months. But.if I get too dependent and clingy, then you have to tell me, okay? I couldn't take it if you left as well," she admitted.
He gave an almost imperceptible nod and tried to ignore the tight nervousness in his chest.
"I'm just glad you're working all this out. And.who knows.maybe Watcher boy'll come back when he sees that you just needed a good kick up the bum."
She hit his softly, trying to hide her grin. "Jerk," she said, grateful that he had broken up the seriousness at the exact moment she needed it most.
He grabbed his arm in mock pain, growling softly. "Hey! Unarmed vampire here."
"Sorry oh impotent one," she said, laughing easily.
He grabbed her before she had a chance to run, pulling her roughly to face him.
"You are one step away," he threatened, remembering their conversation from over two years ago when he had first had the chip implanted.
Buffy grinned and started laughing. "Oh, that brings back some memories."
Spike laughed and began to sing softly.
"Did you ever know that you're my hero.you're everything I would like to-"
"Shut up!" she cried, trying to stop herself from bursting into a fit of giggles.
He stopped and stare at her as she regained her composure, her cheeks bright red from her laughter, her eyes dancing wildly. A gentle smile crept onto Spike's face. She looked at him inquisitively.
"What?"
He shook his head. "Nothing."
"No, what is it? You've got this tiny smile on your face."
He hesitated and slowly brought a hand up to her face, tracing the outline of her lips with gentle fingertips.
"It's nice to hear you laughing," he said.
She smiled up at him, grateful that he had made her feel carefree, even if it was only for a moment.
"It's nice to be able to laugh again," she admitted. She smiled sheepishly and kissed his cheek. "Maybe you were right about that kick up the bum."
~*~
Giles stepped off the plane, tired and desperately wishing for a hot shower. He sighed heavily, hating the way he had left things between himself and Buffy. Everything seemed so up in the air. She had been hurt and incredibly mad at him, but.he had felt he needed to leave. For her.
It had been hard to leave when Buffy hadn't even been there, but.taking off now when she needed him the most had been excruciating. Plus, causing her extra pain by leaving because of her hadn't been easy. He knew how fragile she was, especially when it came to her relationship with men.
But, he thought with a sigh, it was for her own good. He just hoped that she would eventually she that.
He scanned the airport terminal and smiled softly when he saw a familiar face waving him over. He walked quickly, unable to stop a tired smile spreading over his face.
"What on earth are you doing here Daniel?" he asked.
Daniel Taylor smiled and gave Giles a quick but manly hug.
"Thought you could use a friendly face when you got back," Daniel explained. "Plus I figured you'd need a hand with your luggage."
Giles nodded gratefully and pointed towards the baggage claim area.
"How did you know what time I was getting in?" Giles asked.
"Well, I actually called to speak to you, just to see how you were going. But, the young woman you were staying with said you'd already left. I asked her what time you got in and.eventually, she told me," Daniel said.
Giles looked at him inquisitively. "Eventually?"
Daniel smiled and put a hand on Giles' shoulder, steering him through the crowds towards the revolving baggage pick-up area.
"She was incredibly protective of you Rupert. It wouldn't surprise me if she had run a police check on me," he said laughing.
Giles smiled at the thought of Buffy checking up on Daniel so thoroughly. But, he also knew that he shouldn't be surprised if Buffy went through with it either.
"She was taught never to be too careful," Giles said, thinking back to when he had first begun to train her.
"She sounded upset," he said cautiously.
Daniel had only known Giles for a little over a week when he had first returned to England, so their friendship was still tentative at best. Daniel hadn't been told all of the details about why Giles had left so quickly to go back to California. All he had known was that it was to do with a young woman named Buffy Summers, someone that Giles fervently denied that he was in love with. Of course, Daniel knew far better.
Giles hesitated before answering, trying to pre-think exactly how to best express his relationship with Buffy. He hadn't explained why he was back in England, or why he had gone to Sunnydale in such a hurry, and he knew how it must have looked. Particularly with him staying with a woman who was less than half his age.
"We didn't leave on very good terms," Giles said, keeping it purposely vague.
"Who is she to you?" Daniel asked, almost immediately regretting the question.
"She's.it's.it's difficult to explain," Giles said, as he finally spotted his luggage on the carousel. He began walking away, hoping Daniel would leave the question alone.
"I mean.are you two related or what?" Daniel asked. He figured that the question was already said, so he may as well get an answer for it.
Giles stopped and gave him one of his famous frustrated glares which would usually stop any of the Scoobies from questioning further. Daniel, however, had other plans.
"Come on Rupert, it'll be therapeutic for you to get this out," he said as they walked through a set of automatic doors and out into an open car park.
Giles sighed, realising that Daniel wasn't going to drop the matter.
"She was.I thought she was dead. We all did. But.something happened and.and she came back to me. I mean.she came back to us. But.she wasn't the same and I.I couldn't bear it," he said sadly.
"So you just left?" Daniel asked, trying to keep his voice sounding non judgemental. He obviously didn't know the entire story, and so had no right to be overly incredulous at the thought of Giles leaving a young woman who had sounded on the brink of a nervous breakdown when he had spoken to her on the phone.
"I had to," Giles defended himself. "She.if I had stayed there, she would have given up. I was standing in her way and.and truthfully it hurt me to see her like that."
Daniel looked towards his new friend, trying to understand what the man in front of him was going through, but he could find no comparison to this man's pain.
"How do you know she's going to do better without you?" he asked gently. "Why are you so sure that by leaving you're going to help her?"
"She was too dependant on me. Before.before she came back she was the strongest woman I've ever known. If she wanted to be strong again, I couldn't be there," he explained sadly.
Daniel nodded, still having no comprehension whatsoever of Giles' decision. He couldn't the logic behind it, and he wondered if Giles understood it either.
"Could you have at least warned her?" he asked. "Maybe just told her that she needed to try a little harder?"
"You don't know her like I do," Giles said, almost angrily.
Daniel stopped walked and stared at Giles firmly.
"Are you sure you really know her? I don't doubt that you knew her before whatever happened to her, but.now. She's a completely different person by the sounds of it. Maybe she needed someone guiding her. Someone watching her and giving her a nudge in the right direction."
Giles head snapped towards Daniel at the mention of watching. By the look in Daniel's eyes, Giles could tell it had been purely coincidental, but it had definitely struck a chord with him.
"You think I did the wrong thing?" Giles asked softly.
"I think maybe you should have thought more carefully about it. Moving to a different country is.maybe to her it seems like you're running away from her. As though you can't stand to be near her," Daniel said.
"That's not it at all," Giles protested loudly.
"Are you certain about that?"
SETTINGS: Season Six, set after Tabula Rosa, (Giles is gone, and can we just pretend that Spike and Buffy NEVER kissed, not even after the musical) DISCLAIMER: Not mine, yadda yadda, don't sue. NOTES: Kind of a companion piece to 'Phone call' but some things don't exactly follow on. Same characters Daniel and Emma.
ONWARDS:
STANDING: CHAPTER ONE
Some nights were just unbearable for Buffy Summers. Tonight was no exception.
Giles had left, Willow and Tara were fighting and Spike was still being obnoxious about the issue of 'them'. Patrolling wasn't getting any easier either.
Giles had left so that Buffy would be more likely to find and stand on her own two feet rather than using him as a support post, but all she knew was that once again, someone she loved had left her.
She walked slowly, not really wanting to go home too early. Dawn, Willow and Tara had been suffocating her since they had discovered the truth about where she had been in death. Willow was feeling guilty, and rightly so. Dawn was just miserable about it, and Tara was being quietly pissed off at Willow.
She spun quickly as a crunch of leaves came from behind her, her stake at the ready. She groaned as she saw the blond vampire standing behind her, a smug grin on his face.
"Go away," she said testily, beginning to walk away from him. He caught up with her easily.
"Now, why would I wanna do that pet?" he asked cheekily, bringing a cigarette to his lips and taking a quick drag. "Figured you'd want some company an all, seeing as Watcher boy skipped town."
"Don't," she warned as she felt a flicker of pain travel through her at the mention of her Watcher.
Spike felt a pain of guilt rush through him as he saw the hurt hidden in her eyes.
"I'm sorry.I shouldn't have said that. Look, why don'tcha take the rest of the night off? I'll finish off here," he offered.
She sighed, tempted to take him up on the offer. "No, it's fine. I should be the one to do it. As much as I hate to admit it, Giles was right. I was getting to do what was meant to be my duty," she said, hating that Giles had been completely justified in leaving her.
Spike nodded, silently agreeing with Buffy's Watcher. "That doesn't mean that you can't have company though. That's always what was different about you luv, you had people there with you. No other Slayer had that."
"I bet no other Slayer had their Watchers up and leave on them either," Buffy said bitterly.
Spike hesitated before telling her what she least wanted to hear. "He did the right thing."
Buffy sighed and stopped walking, leaning casually against a headstone. "I know.I get that, really I do.it's just."
"You feel like another man's let you down," Spike finished.
She stared at him in shock, wondering when Spike had become so intuitive. Then again, he'd always been able to read her.
"How did-"
"Don't look so shocked pet. S'not that hard to work out. Between your dad and sodding Peaches plus your nancy boy solider, I'm not bloody surprised," he explained.
Buffy shifted over, making room for Spike to lean beside her. She rested her head against his shoulder, enjoying the comfort of the leather.
"You love him," he said, stating it, not questing.
She went to deny it, but stopped herself.
"It's complicated.I just.since I got back, there's been two people that I could really count on, that actually got that I wasn't dealing. You and Giles. You were both.you didn't want to push me or pressure me, and.you were there when I needed you," she said softly.
Spike smiled a little and touched her shoulder without the awkwardness that he had displayed the first time he had tried to sympathise with her.
"Did you tell him? About where you really were? I mean before belting out that tune?" he asked.
"No, and I feel completely stupid cos I know he would have helped me. So much. I just.he was so happy to have me back that I just couldn't tell him the truth. Then, when he was going off at Willow.he was angry that she had brought me back when he thought I'd been in hell. How much worse would it have been if he had known the truth? He would have burst a gasket. I just couldn't.I didn't want to hurt him, but.I think I hurt him more by not telling him."
Tears slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them away hastily, hating that she was showing Spike her weaknesses and vulnerability.
"I'm sure he understood," Spike said comfortingly.
She nodded and stood up abruptly. "He always did.even if I didn't understand. Plus, he hasn't been wrong before so.if I want him back here, I'm gonna have to get my act together."
"You do that pet. And if you want company, you know where I'm at."
She smiled gratefully and thanked him.
"If there's anything you need, or if you just wanna talk.well, I got willing ears and a pretty comfy shoulder," he said with a grin.
"Thank you.honestly, you've been incredibly these last few months. But.if I get too dependent and clingy, then you have to tell me, okay? I couldn't take it if you left as well," she admitted.
He gave an almost imperceptible nod and tried to ignore the tight nervousness in his chest.
"I'm just glad you're working all this out. And.who knows.maybe Watcher boy'll come back when he sees that you just needed a good kick up the bum."
She hit his softly, trying to hide her grin. "Jerk," she said, grateful that he had broken up the seriousness at the exact moment she needed it most.
He grabbed his arm in mock pain, growling softly. "Hey! Unarmed vampire here."
"Sorry oh impotent one," she said, laughing easily.
He grabbed her before she had a chance to run, pulling her roughly to face him.
"You are one step away," he threatened, remembering their conversation from over two years ago when he had first had the chip implanted.
Buffy grinned and started laughing. "Oh, that brings back some memories."
Spike laughed and began to sing softly.
"Did you ever know that you're my hero.you're everything I would like to-"
"Shut up!" she cried, trying to stop herself from bursting into a fit of giggles.
He stopped and stare at her as she regained her composure, her cheeks bright red from her laughter, her eyes dancing wildly. A gentle smile crept onto Spike's face. She looked at him inquisitively.
"What?"
He shook his head. "Nothing."
"No, what is it? You've got this tiny smile on your face."
He hesitated and slowly brought a hand up to her face, tracing the outline of her lips with gentle fingertips.
"It's nice to hear you laughing," he said.
She smiled up at him, grateful that he had made her feel carefree, even if it was only for a moment.
"It's nice to be able to laugh again," she admitted. She smiled sheepishly and kissed his cheek. "Maybe you were right about that kick up the bum."
~*~
Giles stepped off the plane, tired and desperately wishing for a hot shower. He sighed heavily, hating the way he had left things between himself and Buffy. Everything seemed so up in the air. She had been hurt and incredibly mad at him, but.he had felt he needed to leave. For her.
It had been hard to leave when Buffy hadn't even been there, but.taking off now when she needed him the most had been excruciating. Plus, causing her extra pain by leaving because of her hadn't been easy. He knew how fragile she was, especially when it came to her relationship with men.
But, he thought with a sigh, it was for her own good. He just hoped that she would eventually she that.
He scanned the airport terminal and smiled softly when he saw a familiar face waving him over. He walked quickly, unable to stop a tired smile spreading over his face.
"What on earth are you doing here Daniel?" he asked.
Daniel Taylor smiled and gave Giles a quick but manly hug.
"Thought you could use a friendly face when you got back," Daniel explained. "Plus I figured you'd need a hand with your luggage."
Giles nodded gratefully and pointed towards the baggage claim area.
"How did you know what time I was getting in?" Giles asked.
"Well, I actually called to speak to you, just to see how you were going. But, the young woman you were staying with said you'd already left. I asked her what time you got in and.eventually, she told me," Daniel said.
Giles looked at him inquisitively. "Eventually?"
Daniel smiled and put a hand on Giles' shoulder, steering him through the crowds towards the revolving baggage pick-up area.
"She was incredibly protective of you Rupert. It wouldn't surprise me if she had run a police check on me," he said laughing.
Giles smiled at the thought of Buffy checking up on Daniel so thoroughly. But, he also knew that he shouldn't be surprised if Buffy went through with it either.
"She was taught never to be too careful," Giles said, thinking back to when he had first begun to train her.
"She sounded upset," he said cautiously.
Daniel had only known Giles for a little over a week when he had first returned to England, so their friendship was still tentative at best. Daniel hadn't been told all of the details about why Giles had left so quickly to go back to California. All he had known was that it was to do with a young woman named Buffy Summers, someone that Giles fervently denied that he was in love with. Of course, Daniel knew far better.
Giles hesitated before answering, trying to pre-think exactly how to best express his relationship with Buffy. He hadn't explained why he was back in England, or why he had gone to Sunnydale in such a hurry, and he knew how it must have looked. Particularly with him staying with a woman who was less than half his age.
"We didn't leave on very good terms," Giles said, keeping it purposely vague.
"Who is she to you?" Daniel asked, almost immediately regretting the question.
"She's.it's.it's difficult to explain," Giles said, as he finally spotted his luggage on the carousel. He began walking away, hoping Daniel would leave the question alone.
"I mean.are you two related or what?" Daniel asked. He figured that the question was already said, so he may as well get an answer for it.
Giles stopped and gave him one of his famous frustrated glares which would usually stop any of the Scoobies from questioning further. Daniel, however, had other plans.
"Come on Rupert, it'll be therapeutic for you to get this out," he said as they walked through a set of automatic doors and out into an open car park.
Giles sighed, realising that Daniel wasn't going to drop the matter.
"She was.I thought she was dead. We all did. But.something happened and.and she came back to me. I mean.she came back to us. But.she wasn't the same and I.I couldn't bear it," he said sadly.
"So you just left?" Daniel asked, trying to keep his voice sounding non judgemental. He obviously didn't know the entire story, and so had no right to be overly incredulous at the thought of Giles leaving a young woman who had sounded on the brink of a nervous breakdown when he had spoken to her on the phone.
"I had to," Giles defended himself. "She.if I had stayed there, she would have given up. I was standing in her way and.and truthfully it hurt me to see her like that."
Daniel looked towards his new friend, trying to understand what the man in front of him was going through, but he could find no comparison to this man's pain.
"How do you know she's going to do better without you?" he asked gently. "Why are you so sure that by leaving you're going to help her?"
"She was too dependant on me. Before.before she came back she was the strongest woman I've ever known. If she wanted to be strong again, I couldn't be there," he explained sadly.
Daniel nodded, still having no comprehension whatsoever of Giles' decision. He couldn't the logic behind it, and he wondered if Giles understood it either.
"Could you have at least warned her?" he asked. "Maybe just told her that she needed to try a little harder?"
"You don't know her like I do," Giles said, almost angrily.
Daniel stopped walked and stared at Giles firmly.
"Are you sure you really know her? I don't doubt that you knew her before whatever happened to her, but.now. She's a completely different person by the sounds of it. Maybe she needed someone guiding her. Someone watching her and giving her a nudge in the right direction."
Giles head snapped towards Daniel at the mention of watching. By the look in Daniel's eyes, Giles could tell it had been purely coincidental, but it had definitely struck a chord with him.
"You think I did the wrong thing?" Giles asked softly.
"I think maybe you should have thought more carefully about it. Moving to a different country is.maybe to her it seems like you're running away from her. As though you can't stand to be near her," Daniel said.
"That's not it at all," Giles protested loudly.
"Are you certain about that?"