A/N: I've got a bit of writers block right now, therefore I'm taking a break from my GrimmIchi story to write this. It's been lurking around in the back of my mind for quite a while, and now just seems like a good enough time to write it. Hopefully I can get back to writing my other story soon :p but for now, enjoy this ByaRen fic. I'm not all that good at writing this couple, since it's hard to keep Byakuya in character, but I'm determined to keep it as close as possible!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Byakuya glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, a device from the world of the living which Rukia insisted he have, and of course he couldn't say no to his sister. With a sigh, he returned to signing papers, trying to ignore the fact that his lieutenant was late again. Yesterday had been Friday, the day in which Renji usually went out and drank copious amounts of sake with his moronic friends, therefore waking up late. Byakuya's eyes narrowed at the thought. Why his fiery fuku-taichou would want to drink himself into a stupor was beyond him. Byakuya himself never really cared for drinking, but on occasion would have a cup or two, never getting incoherent though. Perhaps it was the fact that he is of noble blood and wasn't allowed to drink, and Renji grew up in Inuzuri where nobody cared what you did, so long as you didn't bother them. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter right now, because Renji was supposed to be at work nearly an hour ago and Byakuya was losing his patience.

Perhaps I should go wake him personally, Byakuya thought. He then shook his head in disapproval. He never went to Renji's house, no matter how late the redhead was. In fact, Byakuya was sure he didn't even know where Renji lived. It was somewhere on the division grounds, he knew that much, but he didn't know where exactly. Granted, he could easily track Abarai's spiritual pressure, but he preferred not to. He was a noble and a captain, and therefore shouldn't have to go find his lieutenant just to wake him up. No, Renji would suffer the consequences, and there was an extraordinarily large pile of paperwork to help prove that.

Byakuya stopped writing for a moment as voices passed by his office door. He recognized them as some of the other lieutenants, Matsumoto, Kira, and Hisagi. Normally he would pay no mind to such a thing, but his interest was caught when they mentioned his lieutenant.

"Jeez, he sure did drink himself into a hole again, ne? I'm starting to think we should've let him sleep, he looks awful." This was Matsumoto, Byakuya could clearly tell by the feminine voice.

"He's already late, letting him sleep in would just get him into more trouble. I bet Captain Kuchiki's pissed." This could only be Hisagi, what with his deep voice.

"I would love to see what Captain Kuchiki's got planned for him today. You'd think he would realize that drinking so much only gets him more paperwork. And on a few occasions, a good old sparring session. Man, that was funny." Kira said, and the groups laughter faded away. Byakuya resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the comment. Maybe Renji's friends weren't all that stupid after all. In fact, they all sounded sobered up, despite having gone out with the redhead last night.

I'm sure he consumed a larger amount of alcohol than the others, the fool. I was under the impression that Matsumoto drank the most, yet she seemed perfectly fine and was even awake before him. Why on Earth would he want to do something so meaningless?

Byakuya's thoughts were cut off abruptly as he felt Renji's spiritual pressure fly towards the office, feeling wild and panicked. If Byakuya weren't so angry, he would smile at how worried Renji probably was right now. However, he was very angry, and at this point was considering another sparring session, or even sending him over to the eleventh division to train. The office doors flew open, revealing a disheveled, breathless, hungover Renji Abarai. His ponytail was lopsided and random pieces were sticking up, his maroon headband was crooked, his shihakusho wasn't tied properly which made a little more of his chest visible, his cheeks were flushed from running, and the list goes on. Now normally, Byakuya would listen to Renji spout excuses and then wave him off without so much as a glance, but today he was feeling a little merciless and decided to fix Renji with the most angry look he could muster, which considering the noble usually looked calm, was quite scary. It was so scary, that Renji actually gasped and visibly flinched, and then proceeded to sputter apologies.

"S-sorry Captain! You see, m-my alarm didn't go off this morning, a-and I didn't wake up until Rangiku and the others woke me up, a-and please forgive me! I'll do anything, just don't give me that look! It's freaking me out!" He half yelled, but Byakuya paid no attention to it. In fact, he narrowed his eyes even more, making Renji drop to his knees and clasp his hands together.

"Abarai, it is time for another sparring session. After that, you will prepare tea and begin working on that pile of paperwork. You are not allowed to go home until it is all finished. Do I make myself clear?" Said Byakuya, his voice dripping with authority. Renji's eyes widened, giving Byakuya a good view of how blood shot they were.

"S-sparring session? B-but Captain! I-I—"

"I said," Byakuya's eyes narrowed, and Renji swore his eyebrow twitched, "Do I make myself clear, Lieutenant Abarai. Or perhaps you would rather me send you to Captain Zaraki again."

"N-no! Not that again!" Renji cried, giving Byakuya his best pleading look. Renji may be a proud man, but when it came to his Captain's wrath, he would resort to begging if necessary.

"Very well. Let us go, then." And with that, Renji followed his Captain to the training grounds.

"Hey, did you hear? Lieutenant Abarai and Captain Kuchiki are sparring again! Man, the Captain looks pissed, Abarai's dead meat!"

"What?! We have to go watch! Come on!"

Rangiku sighed, having predicted this outcome. She told Renji to take it easy, but did he listen? Nooo, he just kept knocking them back, shot after shot, cup after cup. Granted, she drank a lot too, but she had a higher tolerance for alcohol and also knew her limits. Usually Renji didn't drink that much, but on occasion he would show up to the bar looking upset about something, and then start chugging the drinks. Whenever they asked what his deal was, he wouldn't tell them. Yesterday had obviously been one of those nights, and it was irritating Rangiku to no end. But, she couldn't give up the opportunity to watch Renji get his ass kicked, so she quickly made her way over to the sixth division.

"Matsumoto, did you finish those papers? They need to go to the seventh division and I—" Toshiro paused, taking in the emptiness of the office where his lieutenant had just been, and then snapped, "MATSUMOTOOOOO!"

Rangiku broke out into flash step, laughing nervously.

"Draw your sword, Abarai, and I suggest using shikai." Byakuya said, and before Renji could react, he used Senbonzakura's shikai. Renji managed to shunpo away before the tiny blades could touch him, and managed to call out Zabimaru. Byakuya flicked his wrist, sending the petals flying after the redhead, and Renji quickly swung his sword. The whip-like blade blocked some of the petals, but the others simply moved around it and continued on their path towards Renji. He pulled his arm back, making Zabimaru curl and snap at the sakura petals, but there were simply too many to dodge. He bit back a shout as they sliced his skin, tearing his shihakusho in random places. He then flashed away, reappearing directly above Byakuya, and prepared to swing Zabimaru down at him. A hand in the face caught him off guard.

"Hado number 33, sokatsui."

"Agh!" Renji wheezed as he collided with the wall. Byakuya didn't give him enough time to recover as he sent another flurry of petals flying, ripping harshly into the tattooed man. Byakuya flashed away when he heard the familiar hiss of Renji's bankai, and dodged the red blast that shot out of Zabimaru's mouth.

"Using bankai already? I've told you before, that isn't smart during a battle." Byakuya said, his petals clashing with the snake beast.

"Well, good thing this isn't a battle then." Renji replied, looking at Byakuya somewhat smugly. That look vanished when Byakuya's sword fell to the ground, creating a rippling effect and then disappearing.

"You're right. I think I'll follow your example, then. Bankai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi." Byakuya said, and the area around them turned dark, followed by two rows of swords rising from the ground. All at once, the swords broke into thousands of petals which all went flying at Renji, who was trying to figure out what to do. Byakuya watched as Renji became engulfed in his blades, and prepared to turn away and call his sword back. However, he didn't hear any yell from Renji, which is odd since he should be in a lot of pain right now. He called the blades back, his sword returning to normal, and turned back around. His eyes widened at the sight of Zabimaru curled over its master, forming a sphere of protection. The bone segments broke apart, and the usual red spirit energy in between them disappeared. Zabimaru returned to its normal form, revealing an unconscious Renji. The raven haired captain walked over to his lieutenant, and used his foot to roll Renji onto his back. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly at seeing the large gashes that covered Renji's chest and stomach, and he belatedly realized he may have gone a little too far.

That move, Byakuya thought, remembering how Zabimaru was used as a barrier to protect Renji, have I seen that move before? Or..did he recently learn it? I wonder...just how strong he has gotten since the war...

"C-captain Kuchiki sir? If you don't mind, I need to heal him now." A shy voice asked, making Byakuya re-focus on his surroundings.

"Very well. Do not heal them completely, Hanataro. Just enough so they won't bleed. He needs the pain to remind him of his actions last night."

"Y-yes sir!" Hanataro replied, making quick work of healing the redhead. Byakuya watched as Renji's eyes opened, looking around slowly before landing on him. He saw a flash of anger, and then some other emotion which Byakuya couldn't describe. Hanataro finished putting bandages on the wounds and then bowed to Byakuya before scurrying away. The crowd dispersed, and Byakuya saw Matsumoto leave with Kira and Hisagi. She glanced back, looking at Renji with concern, and then continued walking.

"Are you going to lay there all day, Abarai? You still have work to do." Byakuya said, looking back down at Renji.

"Right." Renji sighed, getting to his feet and following Byakuya back to the office. Once there, Renji grabbed a spare uniform from a closet and went into the bathroom to change.

He's being very quiet now. Perhaps I did take it too far, but he should know by now to not be late. He needed some sort of punishment, but that probably was the wrong thing to do. Byakuya thought, and had a flashback from his younger days, when he couldn't control his temper. Even after all these years, I cannot control it.

Renji emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a new shihakusho. His ponytail was fixed, his bandana back in place, but he still looked exhausted, more so than he did before sparring. Byakuya watched as he scuffed past his desk, pausing for a moment to remember what he was going to do, and then glance at Byakuya tiredly.

"I'm gonna...hmm...tea." He mumbled, pointing lazily to the small kitchen. He then continued his slow walk, making his way into the room. A moment later, he returned with a tray and carefully set the cup on Byakuya's desk, before setting his own cup on his desk. After returning the tray to the kitchen, he sat down and picked up his cup. While Byakuya gently blew on his drink before taking a small sip, which is the smart thing to do, Renji simply took a large mouthful of the piping hot liquid and proceeded to spit it out, waving a hand over his mouth rapidly as if it would cool off.

"Hot hot hot! Shit, that fucking burns! Oww!" He panted, sticking out his tongue and touching it with his fingertips. While Byakuya found it highly amusing, he kept the laughter inside as always.

"Abarai, I suggest you watch your language. Also, try thinking before you drink something hot. You may find it useful." Byakuya said, noticing how Renji gave him a flustered and slightly irritated look.

"Right. Sorry, Captain. I'll keep that in mind." He said, and then reluctantly started signing papers. Byakuya did as well, but couldn't help glancing at his lieutenant every now and again. Every time Renji shifted a certain way, he would wince and make a pained face. While he tried not to, Byakuya felt a small pang of guilt. Finally, after only a half hour of glancing, he stood and approached Renji, who was giving him a curious look.

"Open your shihakusho, Abarai." Byakuya said, and quirked an eyebrow when Renji's eyes widened comically.

"W-what?!" He asked, an almost unnoticeable blush spreading across his cheeks.

"So I can heal your wounds, Abarai." He said with a slightly irritated voice.

"R-right! Of course! But..erm..you don't have to do that, Captain. I'll probably just go to the fourth after work." Renji said, his blush dissipating.

"It is no trouble. I may have taken things too far, and this is my way of apologizing. Now, do not make me repeat myself." Byakuya said, kneeling down beside Renji. The tattooed man reluctantly shed the top half of his uniform, wincing slightly as Byakuya removed the bandages and the air hit his wounds. He took in a breath as a soft green light spread over his stomach, and the cuts slowly sealed shut.

"I didn't know you knew healing kido, Captain." Renji said, visibly relaxing as the light moved up to his chest.

"It is something I picked up when I was younger. I don't use it often, only when I see necessary." Byakuya replied, staring intently at Renji's wounds. He healed the few scratches that were on his arms, and even one on his neck, before moving to his back. There weren't as many here, just a few minor cuts. He healed them none the less and then examined his handiwork. Renji's body looked as if nothing had happened.

"Are there any others?" He asked, watching as Renji averted his eyes.

"No, that's all." Renji answered, and then cried out in pain when Byakuya's finger pressed down on his lower leg.

"What about this one?" He asked, almost smiling at the meek look Renji gave him.

"Heh..forgot about that one." He said, grin faltering as Byakuya pulled his hakama up, using his free hand to heal the deep wound. Byakuya's eyes widened when he saw the black, tribal markings run down underneath Renji's sock.

Have those always been there? No..I remember seeing his leg once, when a hollow shredded part of his hakama. These were not there before. So my earlier suspicions were right, he did indeed get stronger. I wonder when, though..

"Erm..Captain? You alright?" Renji asked, and Byakuya realized he was staring for too long.

"Will that be all, Abarai?" Byakuya asked, letting Renji's hakama go. He happened to glance at the cloth wrapped around his lieutenants wrists, and furrowed his brows when he saw a spot of blood seeping through, yet the cloth itself wasn't cut.

"No, that should do it, thanks Captain. I'll try to not be late anymore.." Renji trailed off when he followed his captains gaze, his face going white when he saw the small spot of blood. He tried to pull his hand back, but Byakuya caught it, making Renji yelp in both surprise and pain. When Byakuya started pulling off the wrappings, he kept trying to pull his hand away, but Byakuya's grip was too tight. Renji looked away as the cloth came off, not wanting to see his captains reaction. There was a tense moment of silence, and then finally his captain asked one single question.

"What is this?"

"What's what, Captain?" Renji asked, still avoiding eye contact. It was the wrong thing to say, Renji knew that, but he wasn't ready to talk about this yet. This wasn't something anyone was supposed to find out about.

"Continue with your work, Abarai," Byakuya said, standing and walking back to his desk. For a moment, Renji felt relieved. Of course his Captain wouldn't care about such things, and to Renji, it was a blessing and a curse, though he didn't want to think about why it was a curse. "But stay after you have completed it. We will talk then."

And just like that, Renji's brief moment of relief shattered.

The rest of the day passed by much more quickly than Renji would have liked, and he actually found himself signing papers at an incredibly slow pace. But, eventually he finished, and found that Byakuya was waiting for him, calmly sipping tea on the couch. He gave Renji a look that clearly said 'come over here or I'll force you' so Renji didn't have much of a choice.

"Remove the bandages on your wrists." He said, giving Renji a stern look. The office was dark, save a few lit candles, giving off an eery spark in Byakuya's eyes. Renji couldn't help but feel intimidated, and reluctantly slipped off the wrappings, revealing numerous cuts, some deeper than others. One cut in particular was fresh, having been made today. Once again, Renji couldn't meet his Captains eyes.

"I'll ask you again, Abarai. What is this?" Byakuya asked, his voice sounding oddly neutral despite the angry flare in his usually cold eyes.

"I think it's pretty obvious what they are, Captain." Renji replied bitterly, flinching as the nobles spiritual pressure rose.

"You know that is not what I am asking, Abarai. Why are they there?" Byakuya asked again, his voice less patient.

"Look, I don't really want to talk about this right now. It's not a big deal or anything, nobody knows about it, so can we just forget about this?"

"This is not something I can forget about. If you refuse to tell me, I will have to notify Captain Unohana. I don't want to do that, Abarai. I would like to keep this between you and I." Byakuya said, trying to keep his temper and patience in check. Renji sighed irritably, and Byakuya suppressed the urge to do the same.

"Why do you care? I've been doing it for a while, I don't see why it's such a problem." Renji said, and then mentally smacked himself for saying that. He dared to look at Byakuya, who's eyes were narrowed dangerously.

"How long." It wasn't a question, not even close to one.

"Captain—"

"How long, Abarai." Byakuya said again, letting some of his anger slip out.

"Why does it matter?! Who cares how long or why I've been doing it, it's not your business anyways!" He yelled, and before he could blink he was being held up against the wall by a strong bakudo spell, with Byakuya standing directly in front of him, looking more angry than Renji had seen him in a while.

"It matters, because you are a lieutenant of the 13 Court Guard Squads, and more importantly my lieutenant. I will not let this continue. If you do not tell me everything right now, I will call Captain Unohana and you will be placed under her care. This is not acceptable, Abarai." Byakuya said, his voice calm yet angry at the same time. Renji clenched his jaw, giving Byakuya a defiant look, and his fists tightened when the noble pulled out his soul pager, a device he only used for emergencies. He dialed numbers, and put the phone up to his ear, someone answering almost immediately.

"Hello, Captain Unohana? I am sorry for the late call, but I'm afraid I have an emergency with my lieutenant. You see—"

"Alright, I'll tell you!" Renji yelled, relaxing as Byakuya flipped the phone shut. He briefly wondered if Byakuya even called anyone, or if he really just hung up on Unohana. Somehow, the latter didn't seem very likely.

"May I release you, or are the bindings necessary to make you talk?" Byakuya asked, seeming less angry now.

"I'll talk. Just let me go." Renji said, landing on his feet as Byakuya snapped his fingers. They sat down again, each on the opposite couch, and Renji reluctantly explained himself.

"I've been doing this..since Rukia was adopted into your family. I didn't do it out of depression or anything, I did it to remind myself that I failed. It wasn't serious at first, in fact I rarely did it, but then...when Ichigo first came to soul society, I started doing it again. I failed when I lost to him, and again when I lost to you. I was so angry at myself, I couldn't help but keep doing it. Each cut represents all of my failures. I don't let the scars heal, because I always want to be reminded of how much stronger I need to become. After a while, I figured it might be smart to cover them with something, since the amount of scars was starting to get out of control. I never meant for it to be this way...I just felt the need to do it after I failed." Renji explained, all the while staring at the floor. Byakuya was quiet, thinking things over, and not quite knowing how he should feel.

There are so many though...has he truly failed that much? He lost to Ichigo, myself, the espada, Äs Nödt...no, there are far too many. Granted, I am not aware of every single battle he has fought, but regardless it doesn't add up. He's not telling me something...

"You said each one represented a failure. What is your definition of a failure, Abarai, because I know you have not failed that much."

"Nothing gets by you, huh Captain? You're too observant. A failure to me isn't just losing a battle, it's not living up to your expectations, it's when you don't accomplish something that you've had your heart set on for years. It's when your given a chance to do something that you've always wanted to do, and then you don't do it. It's when you let something slip away..when you had it right in the palm of your hand. Those are what I consider failures." Renji said, running a finger along each scar, as if remembering their reason for existing.

Letting something slip away? Byakuya thought, instantly thinking of Hisana. I wonder...who has slipped away from him? Rukia perhaps? There is truly a lot he is not telling me. But I won't force it all out tonight, he needs time. I will not let this go, though. I don't know why, but I cannot make myself forget about this and leave it alone. It bothers me much more than it should.

"Very well. I will not tell Unohana, on one condition." Byakuya said.

"Which is?" Renji asked, quirking an eyebrow when Byakuya held out his hand, glancing at his wrists. Renji reluctantly reached over and let the noble grab them, and then tried to retract as Byakuya began healing each scar.

"I will be checking every day, and if I see one, I will call her. And don't think you can try to get someone else to heal them, I will check for reiatsu." He said, healing the last cut, which was the freshest.

He did this one in the morning...Byakuya realized, watching as Renji pulled his wrists back and rubbed them.

I wonder...how many of those scars..were because of me?

A/N: Okay, this turned out waaayyy different than I originally planned. I wanted it to be short, sweet, and to the point. It just went into it's own, darker, more depressing path. I hate when that happens -.- Hopefully this won't be too long, since I'm behind on my other fic. Anyways, the next chapter may be..well..I have no idea. It'll be a surprise, I guess! If you enjoyed, review, and if you didn't enjoy, still review! I'm not too satisfied with the direction this thing took, so I understand if you're not either. But I'll take any advice! :D