Time to Move On

This is a different take on An Affair to Dismember. No Fran didn't get on a boat with Nigel, but she did leave to take a new lease on life. How will everyone, especially Maxwell handle it?

I do not own anything of The Nanny. Please enjoy any feedback would be appreciated

Fran walks in to Maxwell's office and puts the note on his desk. She looks down upon it and sighs. She walks over to the corner of the desk dragging along her fingertips along the edge and hops up for the last time. She ponders for a moment and wipes a stray tear that had just begun to fall. Fran hops off grabs her suitcases and gets into a taxi without looking back.

To meet Nigel? No. She dismissed that idea knowing well that she is not in love with him, but instead liked the mere thought of getting married and becoming a Sheffield. Where will the night take her? She doesn't know yet. Fran knows she is not ready for her mothers bombardment of questions and she knows that Val cannot keep a secret. So she goes to a place that no one will find her.

It's late and Maxwell finally arrives home after a difficult day at work. His work is never done and so he goes into his office to finish up some paperwork for some backers. Maxwell sits in his chair and leans back exhausted. He sits up to see some familiar handwriting. "What can Miss Fine need that it has to be in a letter?" he ponders. His gut tells him something is not right.

My Dearest Maxwell,

This will be the last you hear from me. I left and I am not coming back. Something has happened tonight that made me put a lot of things into perspective. Nigel proposed to me and asked me to go to London with him. I was overjoyed by the idea and considered it for a brief moment, but every time I tried to picture what my life would be like, your face kept coming up. So do not fret I am not marrying Nigel. This situation really made me think and I really began to evaluate my life and what road I am on.

From day 1, I have loved your kids as though they were my own. In my mind I know I didn't give birth to them, but those are my children. I hurt for the kids because I wanted nothing more than to be their mother. I selfishly have been playing the mother card for years and rarely ever the part as a nanny. I know I disappointed them by leaving, but it's time I take on my duty as a nanny since I will never be their mother. No matter how bad I want to, you and I both know that I couldn't be a nanny forever. The kids are grown and I know they will miss me just as much as I will miss them. Grace is 12 and has been able to handle life on her own for quite some time. They do not need me anymore, not as a nanny at least. I will always be there for them as a friend and someone to trust. You have some amazing children Maxwell never forget that and I am sure they are making Sarah very proud. Do not shut them out after my departure. Please.

As for you and I, I thought that with time, we would get our fairy tale. I can see now that it is not going to happen. I have waited 5 LONG years Maxwell and a girl can only wait for so long. I feel like I have given you your space and time so you can grieve, but Sarah has been gone a long time now, and I know you are aware of it. This leads me to believe that you are just afraid and running from commitment and the idea of falling in love again. I know you are sick of me bringing up "the thing," but you need to see it from my side. Maxwell you are so stubborn and you have yet to even listen to me about it. You have hurt me multiple times over the years, never intentionally, but this time it was different. Taking back that you love me took all the hope I had for us away. I became a shell and the joy for life I saw is gone. I was on cloud nine when you said you loved me. Even though I thought we were going to die, I was at peace with it because I was going through it with the man I love and that I had confirmation that you loved me. Yes I saw the signs, but I am not a mind reader. You keep your feelings very guarded Maxwell Sheffield so I never knew for sure. That night I fell more in love with you than I thought possible. From that moment, I thought it's Maxwell Sheffield or I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I could not fathom the thought of being with another man. I tried to force the idea of a life with Nigel in my head but it always fell apart. Your eyes, your children were the only things on my mind.

I cannot do it anymore Maxwell. I cannot interact with you and repress my feelings for you. That is not how I live life. I am done holding myself back and putting on a fake act for the children. Things have not been fine since "the thing" and you know it. I really do not think that it can or will ever be fixed. Maxwell Sheffield I gave you my heart and you only did damage to it. You can keep the broken pieces, my heart was only meant for you. Harsh? Yes, but it's the truth and the truth hurts. I am so angry with you. I am angry at you for ruining what could have been. Sure I know you'll blame me because I walked out, but you walked out the second you took back I love you. I am angry for the hurt you caused you, me, the kids, and everyone else involved in our lives. I really wished we could make it work, but you are not ready and honestly I don't think you will ever be.

I mean it when I say I love you. I will never take it back and I will love you until the day I die. One regret I do have is that I am not strong enough to say goodbye to you in person. I took the cowards way out by writing this, but I do not think I could have faced you. Multiple scenarios ran through my head about what would happen. I know you would have said that you would change, but Maxwell that line has worked for 5 years and the change hasn't been enough. I wanted the last memory of me seeing you was smiling at me and looking at me with those gorgeous green eyes and telling me to go.

Well Maxwell that is what I did, I left and there is no more cat and mouse game. I am tired of running and frankly I just give up. I guess we both are going to die alone and I will learn to accept that one day. You win. No commitment. Tell the kids I love them and will call soon.

I love you, forever and always

Fran

(to be continued...)

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