AN: Okay. So. Before we begin, I have never written anything romantic or sexual before. Ever. Not kissing, not even holding hands. However, I have decided to try my hand at a conspireshipping lemon. Yeah, I'm insane. I'm jumping from one end of the scale to the other in one fell swoop, but I feel that I've read enough fanfiction and watched enough Yu-Gi-Oh by now to take this step. Plus I feel that if I start with a graphic lemon, maybe the other stuff won't be so hard after this? (Pun entirely intended.)

All in all, this is going to be very, very difficult for me to write, but I am going to try anyway because I feel it will be good for me as a writer – and also because I'm an immature idiot who's probably going to spend the rest of the day giggling nervously thanks to this.

Just belatedly realized I'm meeting my friends for dinner tonight. ... Ah well.

This is a conspireshipping fanfiction, which is a pairing consisting of Yami BakuraxRyouxMarik IshtarxYami Marik. Yami Bakura will be referred to as Bakura, Ryou as Ryou, Marik as Malik and Yami Marik as Mariku.

This will be a fairly hardcore yaoi lemon, so if you don't like yaoi, lemons, yaoi lemons or are under 18, turn back now!

Dedicated to my friend Mar-mar. Dear gods.

Ryou and Malik sat quietly on the couch of the flat they shared, gaping openly at the sight before them. Their yami's – thought to have passed on to the afterlife after the ceremonial duel between Yugi and Yami six months ago – were standing before them in their own bodies.

Two hours ago Ryou had answered a knock on the door to find Bakura and Mariku standing there, in their own bodies no less, looking slightly bewildered but mostly like they were children who'd just discovered the hiding place for their Christmas presents.

Despite their best efforts, Malik and Ryou couldn't manage to get their yami's to tell them how they obtained their own bodies (though both had a fair idea that it had undoubtedly involved at least one person's death, if not several).

"... So..." Malik started awkwardly, avoiding the intent crimson gaze of his former partner-in-crime.

Bakura smirked in that way of his before coming to stand in front of Malik. Malik continued to stare into space, making a very feeble attempt to pretend that the white-haired 5,000 year old thief wasn't standing right in front of him. Of course, this only made Bakura smirk more, evidently amused by the Egyptian hikari.

"Malik..."

"... Yes?"

The blonde-haired teen looked up just in time for Bakura to press his lips against Malik's, wrapping a hand around his arm to pull him into a heated kiss. Ryou's eyebrows just about met with his hairline as shock set in, making him oblivious to the cunning grin that played across the features of Mariku.

"I believe we've never officially met before," Mariku stated, his voice a rumble that seemed to echo slightly, completely different to the deep growl of Bakura's voice or the high-pitched whine of Malik's. To Ryou's surprise, the yami extended a hand towards him, smirking slightly.

"I'm Mariku, Malik's yami."

Ryou smiled sweetly, the picture of innocence – as his fangirls were well aware. He extended his own hand, meeting Mariku's in a handshake.

"I'm Ry-!"

He was cut off as the psychotic yami used his hand to pull him into a bruising kiss, his free hand grasping the striped blue of his shirt to pull him even closer. A mewl escaped Ryou as Mariku ran his tongue across the younger one's lips, using his surprise to slip his tongue into the hikari's moist, dark cavern of a mouth.

Meanwhile, Bakura had pulled Malik up from the couch and backed him against the wall, pinning him against it with his body weight while tangling one hand in his sandy coloured hair. Their mouths moved against each others feverishly, their tongues battling for dominance in a way vaguely reminiscent of their arguments so long ago in the Battle City tournament. Malik groaned into Bakura's mouth, his hands gripping the other's back, his thoughts incoherent.

A second later his groan was answered by his yami, followed by a small mewl. Malik and Bakura broke apart, their faces flushed, breathing heavily as they looked over to see Mariku pinning Ryou to the couch. Bakura smirked back at Malik as he stepped over to the other yami, grabbing hold of his jacket collar and pulling him away.

Mariku growled in protest, gripping the front of Bakura's shirt to pull him into a kiss, something the thief seemed more than happy to return. Their mouths meshed against one another, their hands tugging on various parts of clothing as they made out loudly and heatedly. Ryou exchanged a glance with Malik, blushing heavily as the two yami's made out over him, Mariku still pinning Ryou to the couch with his hips.

Something clicked within Malik's mind and he laughed loudly, causing the other three occupants to stop and look at him. Malik, in between fits of laughter, managed to speak.

"You- You planned this!"

Seeing the confused looks on the others faces, he stopped laughing and elaborated.

"You planned all this. You two came over here just to have sex with Ryou and I, didn't you?"

Ryou flushed a deep red at Malik's blunt statement, while the two psychotic killers in the room grinned in a way that made Malik sure of two things. They had definitely planned this. And he didn't care.

Bakura responded by flipping Mariku off of Ryou, and leaning over Ryou pulled his hikari into a kiss just as heatedly as he'd kissed Malik and Mariku mere moments ago. Malik looked across to his yami and, shrugging, strode over to throw himself at Mariku.

Somehow, the four of them managed to end up in a heap on the floor, blankets underneath them, Ryou and Malik having been too... Occupied to notice how or when the other two had managed to get them there. Malik continued his previous make-out session with Bakura, pausing only long enough to peel the dark coat and shirt off of his frame, exposing the pale skin underneath. Mariku was similarly exposed, again thanks to Malik, who it seemed was just as lust-driven as the other two. Though Ryou didn't really seem to mind whose clothes were where or which of the three were kissing him, making incoherent noises as he was taken completely out of his comfort zone and into the realm created by his three... Whatever they were, though he had a fair idea of what they'd be by the end of the night.

Over the top of their flushed, moaning hikari's, Mariku and Bakura's mouths and tongues were waging war on each other, their hair mingling in a mess of spiky, gravity-defying blonde and white. Ryou and Malik looked over at each other and, after a moment of hesitation, slowly began to kiss each other, taking it more slowly and gently than they'd been kissing the others. But the kiss began to build momentum, Malik's tongue forcing its way past Ryou's pale pink lips before he could think to stop it. To his surprise the English teen welcomed the intrusion, mewling in pleasure as Malik explored the insides of his mouth.

Vaguely they both registered Mariku and Bakura stopping to watch them but they didn't care, lost in their own world, Ryou's hand gently clasping the back of Malik's neck to pull him in closer. Bakura raised an eyebrow at this, smirking over at Mariku as if to say 'It's always the quiet ones.' Mariku smirked in answer, reaching down to stroke Ryou's thigh, teasing the hemline of his pants further and further down the pale hips they sat upon. Bakura did the same with the other thigh, and working in unison they managed to completely strip the white-haired hikari without him registering it. Malik, fully aware of their plan, smirked into Ryou's mouth, his hand reaching out to grip Bakura's forearm, pulling him down to take his place.

Bakura took over, soliciting a sound of protest from Ryou as there was a brief moment where his lips were sadly unattended. A moment later a mewl followed as Bakura continued what Malik started, his tongue utterly dominating the other's mouth. Mariku climbed over the two to crawl on top of Malik, mouths meeting as his hands found the hikari's hips.

The two yami's had, indeed, planned this several days ago after a couple of weeks of running around causing mayhem back in Egypt. In their plans they had agreed that Mariku would be the one to attempt to remove Malik's clothing, as considering that they had shared the same body, Bakura reluctantly admitted that the other yami would be more likely to succeed in taking off Malik's shirt.

It seemed that Bakura was right.

When Malik felt hands slowly removing his lavender belly shirt, he tensed, eyes flying open to meet Mariku's, fear and protest evident in their depths. Mariku continued to try to distract him, pausing in his quest as he made Malik focus on something else – namely the tongue exploring the vast caverns of his mouth. He had half a mind to just take it off and have done with it, impatient as he was, but Bakura had made him promise to take it slowly and not make Malik panic.

In all honesty Mariku had very little to do with the plan at all. He had reluctantly admitted that, in all honesty, out of the four Bakura was technically the only one not a virgin (something Mariku adamantly blamed his ra-damned hikari for), and thus he likely knew what he was talking about.

Mariku hadn't exactly done a good job of getting to know his hikari either, having been too focused on causing chaos at the time. Bakura, however, seemed to know Malik fairly well.

Mariku didn't particularly care who made the plans or who was a virgin or not, because by the end of the night no one in this little group would be, and one way or another, he was going to fuck the brains out of all three.

Finally, he managed to remove Malik's belly shirt, and his pants quickly followed.

By this point, everyone in the room was now naked, something that Malik and Ryou realized at almost the same time. Grinning, Bakura and Mariku switched places once again, exchanging a look that made it perfectly clear what their next idea was. Well, perfectly clear to Malik, as Ryou was both too innocent and too far gone to understand.

Kissing and biting their way down the bodies beneath them, they slowly and teasingly made their way down to the straining erections of their partners. Bakura paused for a moment, grinning at Malik as the blonde panted breathlessly, his eyes clouded with lust. He then ran his tongue along the length of Malik's cock, eliciting a loud groan from the blonde-haired Egyptian. His mouth then fully closed over Malik, the moistness nearly driving Malik insane. The teen grabbed hold of Bakura's hair, fists clenching handfuls of it as Bakura began to suck, with Malik moaning loudly at the sensation of it.

Mariku was similarly treating Ryou, the ordinarily quiet and modest teen breathlessly crying out, begging Mariku to go faster. His pale skin was painted a bright pink, no longer in embarrassment but in sheer pleasure, his eyes almost rolling back into his head.

Then they both stopped, Mariku and Bakura silently passing a bottle of something between them that Ryou belatedly realized was lube. A silent argument seemed to take place between them before Mariku let Bakura take the bottle, watching as the ancient spirit covered his erection in the liquid. Malik watched on breathlessly as he then slipped a wet finger into Ryou, loosening his asshole. A second one was added, rubbing against a spot that made Ryou mewl yet again, throwing his head backwards as a wave of warmth passed through him.

Then Bakura removed the two fingers, and before Ryou could protest at the loss he felt something else pressing at the entrance. Slowly, Bakura pushed himself into Ryou, his expression giving away how difficult it was for him to keep it slow. After giving him a moment to adjust, Bakura began to pull back out, stopping halfway to throw himself back in. The rhythm started out fairly slow, but then Ryou shouted out for him to go faster and Bakura lost it, pounding into Ryou with reckless abandon. Malik and Mariku watched on silently, mouths half-open as they watched on in a daze.

Ryou's erection, still hard and wet from Bakura's previous attention, was rubbing against Bakura's stomach, and combined with the way Bakura kept hitting that spot that made him cry out, it wasn't long before he lost it, releasing himself all over the two of them. Bakura followed not long after with a groan.

Then Mariku was suddenly there, mouth dominating Ryou all over again, his hands teasing the teen back into a frenzy. Malik pulled Bakura into a kiss, his tongue now finally dominating Bakura's as the other was still lost in the daze of his orgasm. Slowly, he began to respond, his hands travelling from the top of Malik's shoulders down his back, stroking and tracing the lines of the scars that marred the Egyptian's back.

Mariku wasn't quite as gentle nor as slow as Bakura (and considering that this is Bakura, it wasn't exactly gentle or slow to begin with), though Ryou didn't seem to be in pain, more than likely thanks to Bakura's previous attention. Malik and Bakura were at about the same pace, and if either of them were thinking straight they'd probably realize that this had been waiting to happen since Battle City. For a moment, it almost seemed as if Malik was going to end up on top due to Bakura still being out of it from having sex with Ryou, but that came to a grinding halt when Bakura realized exactly what his partner-in-crime was up to.

Ryou, meanwhile, was completely past the point of no return. Mariku groaned as he reached his climax, almost simultaneously with Ryou, the two of them falling back onto the blankets. As Malik fell back shortly afterward, Ryou sleepily rolled over and curled into his side, dozing off with a sigh. Malik, blinking as he realized that his roommate had fallen asleep cuddled up next to him – naked – shrugged slightly before putting an arm around Ryou and following him into sleep.

Mariku and Bakura sat uncharacteristically quietly for a couple of moments, looking down at their hikari's before exchanging a grin. Then Mariku realized something and turned to the other yami with a growl. "Malik is asleep."

"And?"

"Malik is asleep. What happened to fucking him?"

Bakura's response was to roll his eyes at Mariku, already imagining Ryou's expression if he'd heard that. But he didn't get much further than that as Mariku tackled him to the ground, sitting on top of him with a grin.

"So, Bakura..." He growled with a smirk, holding up the bottle of lube suggestively.

'Oh, bugger.'

AN: ... Well, that was... Totally and completely out of my comfort zone, and probably a piece of shit. But hey, at least normal T-rated romance will be a piece of cake for me now! I had such a difficult time writing this, I spent about a third of the time writing, a third of the time pissing myself laughing, and a third of the time sitting with in my head in my hands thinking 'WHY?!'

Reviews are appreciated! ... –sigh-

Bright blessings,

SilentGreenThief.