Written for CreepingMuse. Happy birthday!

My endless gratitude to JWAB for beta reading this. More on that in A/N2. For now, enjoy. :)

Elena pulled up to the boarding house, sighing, almost afraid to show up there. Her winter break was over. She had been home for four weeks, but she had hardly seen Damon. He had warned her to stay away from the house, but she couldn't, wouldn't stand it any more. This was her last chance to spend some time alone with him.

"You're here." Damon stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. He tried to smile, but it looked almost painful, and Elena took a few steps toward him, desperately wishing she could comfort him.

"Stefan's waking up," he said. "If you want to talk to him − though I wouldn't advise you to − you should probably do it now. But first tell me why you have all those bags in the back seat."

"I'm going to the airport in a couple of hours. Figured I leave right from your house."

"And you're going to take all that? Are you going back to college or moving altogether?"

"Well, I-"

"I'll get those and help you pack properly," he said, rolling his eyes, but his lips were curved in an amused smirk.

"Thanks," said Elena, smiling at him before going into the house and heading downstairs, where she would have to face Stefan.

At first, when it was clear that the sire bond was no longer an issue, it had seemed like Stefan was coping quite well. He'd wished her and Damon happiness, continued to hang out with Caroline and even insisted on moving out of the boarding house so they could have some privacy. For a short, blissful while it had seemed like they wouldn't have to worry about him.

Then he vanished. Damon and Elena went looking for him, following the news reports on "animal attacks" in Virginia, then Tennessee and Kentucky. When they finally found Stefan, he was unrecognizable. With blood smeared on his face and human body parts around him, he was the most terrifying sight in her life − a beast, a monster unleashed. She backed away, disgusted and horrified. As much as she had believed she was prepared for that, Elena couldn't stand seeing Stefan like that and knowing that it was, in a way, her fault.

Damon reached out to his brother, encouraging Stefan to slip out of his bloodlust for a moment – enough time for Elena to inject him with a double dose of vervain.

Elena entertained the idea of staying in Mystic Falls, skipping college entirely, but Damon insisted that it wasn't necessary. So she went to college in Atlanta, close enough if someone needed her, and Damon promised to join her there as soon as Stefan was back to himself. Within a few weeks, Stefan was feeling himself again, enough to push Damon away, enough for Damon to entrust him to Caroline.

It didn't last. That same night, when Damon was in a rented apartment in Atlanta with his arms wrapped around Elena's sleeping form, he got the call he was dreading, Caroline desperate on the other end. Stefan was gone again. Damon refused to let Elena come along this time – not now that he knew for sure her presence triggered Stefan's rage. He kissed her goodbye and stormed out into the night. They hadn't seen each other until four weeks ago.

The few months she'd spent without him had been nearly unbearable. She'd filled her days with classes, friends, shopping. But in the end, she'd always had to return to an empty apartment and fight back tears.

They had called each other every day. She had told him about her day and listened to his stories about Mystic Falls, about Stefan's progress and Jeremy's life, and occasionally even some news about Matt or Caroline, who he stubbornly called Vampire Barbie. She was happy he had friends, even if he wouldn't admit he liked them. As Damon had always ended the conversation with "I love you" and she had said the same in return, she'd felt like she could survive another night alone.

When Elena first saw Damon after all that time, she felt better than she had in months. She ran toward him, colliding with his chest, and let her lips tell him how much she had missed him. When Damon finally pulled away, he told her to stay away from the house so as not to worry Stefan, and left her to check on him.

It had hurt her, but the knowledge that Damon was so dedicated to his little brother for some reason made her feel proud of the man she loved. If it hadn't been for Damon, Stefan would already have reduced the population of Virginia and North Carolina by half, instead of being locked in the cell in the basement. The cell that she currently approached as quietly as she could.

She came up to the door to find Stefan lying on the floor, staring at the wall. He didn't look sad, or hurt – just indifferent. It was torture to see him like this. Ignoring the acute pain in her chest, Elena did her best to smile. "Hey."

"What do you want?"

She refused to let him hurt her. "I came to see you. Talk to you."

Stefan laughed, but he didn't sound amused. "Shouldn't you be with Damon?"

Elena gritted her teeth against his disgust. "He wants to help you, we all do. Stefan, if you would only let him-"

"Shut up!" he suddenly yelled, throwing himself at the bars, and Elena recoiled, shuddering. "You have no idea what you're talking about. This is who I am. Don't pretend it's a surprise for you. You're stupid if you believe you can help me."

"We love you. Damon, Caroline, me. We won't give up on you even if you've given up on yourself. We've been there with you before."

"Not like this."

"Of course like this. It's the blood, what it does to you."

"No, Elena, it's you. You and Damon. Am I supposed to just happy that my brother fucks you because you two are so kind as to care about me? Well, you know what?" he grabbed her shirt though the bars, yanking her toward himself until her body hit the rough metal. "Fuck you. Leave me alone."

She was prepared for that. Reaching into her pocket, Elena grabbed a syringe and slammed it into his hand, injecting Stefan with vervain. As he fell, unconscious, Elena smiled, even though he couldn't see it. "You'll be fine. One day, you'll be fine."

Elena went upstairs to Damon's room. He was repacking her things, like he'd promised, neatly folding her clothes and sorting them into piles next to his bed, surely according to some higher logic. The scene was so strikingly normal that Elena suddenly found it hard to breathe. It was the first time they were alone in months, and it hit her again, hard, how much she had missed him.

Damon looked at her and tried to smile, but it turned out more like a grimace. He was hurting, Elena knew it − she felt it. Just like Damon, she wanted to have at least one real shot at happiness, but they both couldn't do it at the expense of Stefan's well-being.

"Well, that went better than I'd expected." Elena sighed and shook her head. Damon sat down on the bed, patting the sheet beside him, inviting her to join him.

"I know you're worried about him. So am I," he confessed, as Elena settled on the bed and leaned into his chest. "I wish I could go with you, but right now, I have to stay here and help him."

Elena nodded, sighing again. "How long is it going to take?"

"I don't know," he answered, playing with her hair. She closed her eyes in pleasure, caressing his hand. "Hopefully only a few years. Possibly decades. But you know giving up is not an option. Whenever I tried to help him and stopped halfway, he fell off the wagon again, worse than before."

Elena nodded quietly, stifling her tears so Damon wouldn't hear she was on the verge of crying. She had to be brave for him.

Going back to Atlanta now meant more than leaving Damon. Elena was aware of that. But she had been ready to leave everyone else. She had always known that at some point, she would have to move on with her own life. That she would hardly have a chance to see her friends, that she would have to trust Jeremy to take care of himself. With Damon, however, she had believed he would always be in her life.

She hadn't thought out the technicalities.

Damon's voice brought her out of her brooding.

"It doesn't mean we won't see each other." He caressed her cheek. "Right? Elena?"

When she came to think of it – that was probably exactly what it meant. Elena pressed her lips together as first painful tears rolled down her cheeks. Damon pulled back a little to look at her and winced at the sight of her crying.

"Right," she whispered. "Whenever we can. Once a month, maybe, if we're lucky. Or-" she pressed her cheek to his chest again. "I'm going to miss you." She choked on the last word, clutching handfuls of his shirt, desperately wishing she could get closer. Damon grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eye, willing her to hold his gaze.

"No," he said. "Not yet. Right now, it's you and me and nothing else in the goddamn world."

She tried to take a few deep breaths to calm down. Damon looked at her with a playful smile, and nothing but his eyes gave away that he was in pain, too. He kissed away the tears, threading his fingers through her hair. Elena shifted to kiss him lightly on the lips, sighing, as her whole body responded to his touch, pushing the worry away for a moment. She smiled against his lips, and Damon pulled back, gazing at her face.

"Now that's better," he said, tracing her jawline with his fingers. She caught his hand in hers to kiss it.

"I just don't want you to remember me like that. Sad and crying and-" Damon narrowed his eyes, and Elena laughed. "I'm being an idiot, aren't I?"

"We're both being idiots," Damon said, deceptively casual, but Elena recognized the playful gleam in his eyes right away.

"Why?" she asked coyly, knowingly, as Damon's hands slipped to her hips and he pulled her in his lap, pressing a kiss to her neck. Elena hummed contentedly, tears almost forgotten.

"Because we are wasting precious time." His fingers played with the hem of her shirt as she brushed her lips against his.

A fraction of a second – and Elena's back was pressed to the mattress, with Damon hovering over her. She crushed her mouth against his in response. A wave of desire washed over her body, and she bit Damon's bottom lip, forcing him to open his mouth, his tongue meeting hers halfway. He moaned low, and Elena fought the urge to flip him over. Her hands tangled in his hair and then slid slowly down his back, slipping under his shirt to feel the strong muscles and sensitive skin, making him shiver. He ran his hands over her torso, lingering on her breasts for a moment, and Elena arched her back toward him, pressing the hard planes of his body against hers.

He tugged on her lower lip with his teeth, making her gasp, and then pulled back to look at her like a predator. His eyes, the same ones she fell in love with but always somehow new, held longing and promise and something else that she couldn't quite define, leaving her breathless and quivering with need. Damon slid lower to kiss a spot below her navel, lifting her shirt inch by inch and running his fingers over newly exposed skin, followed seconds later by his lips and tongue. Elena threw her head back, panting. Wherever he touched her, she was on fire, and her slow vampire heart still wanted to beat out of her chest.

Finally, her shirt off, Damon traced the contours of her breasts under black lace, grazing the sides lightly with his fingertips, missing her aching nipples by an inch. Elena bit her lip and held onto the pillows as her whole body tensed in anticipation under his sweet, cruel torture. She arched her back again when he planted a kiss dangerously close to where she wanted, needed his lips. Damon smiled against her skin and slipped his hands behind her back to unclasp her bra, immediately sliding the straps down her arms and pulling one hardened peak into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. Elena cried out his name, trembling, as his hand covered the other breast, kneading the soft flesh, then stroking it with his flat palm. She pulled his hair, trying to press him closer even if it was impossible, and his chuckle against her chest sent another wave of pleasure through her body.

Even after all this time they'd had to explore each other's bodies, his every kiss and touch were still exciting and made her nearly delirious with need for him.

Damon moved up to kiss her lips again, possessive, reckless, rolling her nipples in his fingers, then one of his hands slid lower, inside the waistband of her jeans. His mouth swallowed her gasp as Elena's hands slipped to his collarbone, and she started slowly, carefully unbuttoning his shirt. Damon pulled back slightly, breathless, to give her better access to his chest.

"Really? This is when you start caring about my clothes? You know I buy this shit in bulk, right?" He snapped the button of her jeans, and she raised her hips to help him pull them down. She toed them off, and his fingers danced along her inner thighs, caressed her, made her hips buck and her knees tremble. "And by the way, it was much more convenient when you wore dresses."

This time Elena did flip them over and bit Damon's lower lip hard enough to hurt. "Stop talking," she threatened, then soothed the sting with her tongue, her hands still busy with the last button. Finally undone, she kissed her way down his chest, tracing the contours of his muscles, teasing his nipples with her nails. Damon groaned and clutched the pillow under his head, and the sound alone was almost enough for her to come undone. Elena went further, wanting to elicit more sounds like that, until she reached his jeans. Damon raised his head to look at her, but when she licked along the waistband, his head fell back onto the pillow. She let her hand skim the front of his jeans, expecting the strain at the zipper, squeezing gently until he cursed and shuddered. Elena smiled to herself, unbuckling his belt and popping the button of his jeans. Damon let out a guttural moan when she hooked his belt loops with her thumbs and pulled his jeans down, looking up at him in mock frustration.

"By the way, it was much more convenient when you went commando."

A moment later his boxers were in two pieces on the floor, and Damon had her pinned to the mattress, holding both of her wrists above her head. "Minx," he whispered, taking her earlobe into his mouth. Elena half laughed, half moaned and uttered his name breathlessly, and suddenly Damon pulled back and stared at her purposefully, intensely, like she was the most precious thing in the entire universe. Watching him watch her, Elena suddenly realized that he wasn't just admiring her.

He was committing her to memory.

This was how Damon wanted to remember her – happy, laughing, loving. With her hair a mess, reduced to gasps because of him. She was never going to get used to being loved like that.

Elena reached out to graze his cheekbones with her fingers and pulled him closer, kissing him deeply, languidly, keenly aware of single sensation – the movement of his lips, the taste of his mouth, the weight of his body, the tenderness of his hands, the delicious friction lower, where her hips were pressing hers to the bed. In the next moment she heard tearing lace and felt a slight sting as it dug into her skin before it was gone, replaced by Damon's hand.

She clung to him with all she had while his fingers traced patterns that he knew drove her insane. He kissed her lips, jaw, neck, and now his lips were just a little too hard on her skin, and his hand grasped her hip a little too tightly.

He knew this was the end − at least for now − and neither of them had any idea when they'd be together again. As much as he tried to hide it with playful remarks and optimistic predictions, he was afraid and hurting. They had only this left – possessive touches, desperate kisses and each other's name on their lips.

Elena cried out at the sensation of his fingers sliding inside her, her nails digging into his shoulders. Damon teased her neck with his tongue, the rhythm slow and maddening, and bit it with blunt teeth. He curled his fingers, and Elena bucked her hips almost hard enough to push him off. When he smiled, she pulled his hand away, wrapping her legs around him. She had to stop him. Elena knew Damon could torture her like this for hours, but right now, she just needed to feel him. To be one with him.

Damon understood right away and pulled back from her neck to look her in the eye, leaning on his elbows. He shifted a little and slowly lowered himself, joining their bodies. Elena mouthed his name, unable to utter a single sound, but held his gaze, refusing to close her eyes. The pleasure was almost too much, but she wanted to see Damon, to feel connected to him, mind, body, and soul.

This time, she didn't push him to end up on top, like she often had, didn't urge him on or attack his neck with love bites. She just enjoyed the sensation − the way he moved inside her, the heat of his skin under her palms and the look in his eyes, full of love and reverence. When it got to be too much, she pulled him closer to kiss him, and the feeling of rightness and contentment grew stronger with every kiss.

Inevitably, their rhythm grew faster, relentless – too much for her already overloaded senses. Elena couldn't hold on any more. Her eyes locked on his, she screamed his name as they came together. Damon collapsed on top of her, burying his face in her neck, and she kissed his shoulder, finally closing her eyes.

She wished they could stay like this forever.

Elena took a shower alone. She didn't have much time left, and she knew that if they were to do it together, she wouldn't have it in her to leave. She had barely managed to disentangle herself from Damon in the first place. In the shower, she cried again, letting tears flow freely and mix with icy cold water. She endured the stream until she felt numb enough to face reality.

Damon waited outside the bathroom with a fluffy towel. Elena smiled, hoping he would think that her face was only wet with shower water.

He laid her clothes for the flight on the bed and went to the kitchen to give her some privacy while she got dressed. Elena smiled wistfully. It was unnecessary; he knew every inch of her body. But it was kind, respectful, and she was thankful. She blow-dried her hair and was almost done brushing it when Damon reappeared in the doorway.

"You ready?"

She took a deep breath and braced herself. She had to stay strong. She had to make them both believe that everything would be okay, even if her stomach felt hollow and her eyes burned. Elena turned around and smiled at Damon. He pointed at the bags – half the number she originally had. "That's how you pack right."

"Thanks." She kissed him lightly. Damon pulled back first.

"I'm sorry. You have no idea how much." His voice almost broke.

"Don't apologize for loving your brother, Damon," she said, shaking her head. He squeezed her hand, rubbing circles into the back of her palm with his thumb, and then stepped away.

It was time for them to leave.

Damon grabbed her bags, even if now she was perfectly capable of carrying them on her own, put them on the back seat of the Camaro, and they left Mystic Falls behind.

In two hours they got to Richmond International Airport. Damon pulled her bags out of the car and was about to go inside, but Elena stopped him.

"No. Please, don't go in there with me. I'm already crying. I won't be able to stand it. I won't be able to get on the plane."

He nodded, leaving the bags on the ground. Elena threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Her tears made their way into her kiss, and he kissed her back fiercely, pressing her to him.

She pulled back and managed to smile, tracing the contours of his cheeks with her fingertips.

"I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

She grabbed her bags. Until the door of the airport closed behind her, she felt his gaze on her back, but she refused to turn around. If she turned around, she would run back to him and drag him onto the plane.

But no, she got through the door and she would get through this, too. She would go back to college, fill her time with important and meaningless things and every day she would be one step closer of going back to Mystic Falls. Going back to Damon. Inside the terminal, she stopped beside a vending machine for a long, long while, until she heard the unmistakable sound of the Camaro driving away. Then she picked up her bags again and forced a smile onto her face.

They'd survive this. They always survived.

A/N: Thanks to all those wonderful people who helped me with this. Apart from JWAB, who's an absolutely awesome beta, thanks Jenn for trying to help me, Tara and Anya for pre-reading this and even Niki for listening to me whine - and trust me, this involved a lot of whining.