Chapter 14; Shotgun Wedding

Elysium

Leaving the Eavestown Docks

It felt good to be out on the town, seeing the sights and breathing fresh air instead of air that had been recycled so much that it barely felt like air anymore. Wash and Zoe, despite the little practical joke that her husband had pulled on the Normandy's pilot, were happier than they could remember being in a very long time. Despite everything that they had gotten themselves into since signing on as members of the System Alliance's crew, Zoe only sighed in contentment as she leaned against Wash's side. The maglev train they were riding was bound to drop them off at an artificial zero g pool. The extranet article that Shepard had pointed them to said that clothing was purely optional. Needless to say, Zoe had jumped on the chance to pay the place a visit, and Wash wasn't about to argue.

"Mmmm...you think it's all the article said it was?" Zoe asked, her eyes closed as she snuggled a little closer to her husband.

"I reckon Shepard knows a thing or two about her corner of the galaxy, being a big damn hero like us simple folk." Wash replied, a small grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around Zoe's shoulders, mindful of the fact she had left the ship armed. The upgraded rifle that the Chief had put together was just visible under her jacket, and Wash had already seen it in action that morning when Zoe had taken it for a quick test spin in an empty field. The varren that she had hit had had a two inch hole in its right flank, all the proof that she needed to see that Ashley's work had been worth the wait. He had a strong desire to make sure he didn't end up with a similar hole in his body in the foreseeable future.

"She might disagree about being a hero darlin', 'specially after what happened on Mindoir." Wash had to sigh and nod at his wife's words. Artemis had a lot to answer for, and while it had also been the fault of the Operative as much as the crazy Alliance woman, it had been Zhu that had unleashed the Reavers on the people of this galaxy.

"Yeah, I hear ya Zoe. Still, if she's anything like you, just give her a nice target and plenty of ammo and be sure to get the gorram hell out of her way." Zoe couldn't suppress the chuckle that escaped her at what Wash had said. He had a valid point, and the goofy grin on her husband's face only helped to relieve the tension that had started to settle between them. "If it was just Mal on his own, I'd worry about our chances, but with Jessie giving us a place on her crew, I can't help but wonder if the Alliance's days are numbered if she's half as good as she's proven to be so far."

"It'd be nice, not having to worry about watching our every step when and if we go back, but we have other things to worry about dear." They couldn't talk about the Reapers in public, but Wash got the message all the same as Zoe met his gaze. There were far more important enemies to tackle first, and as long as Artemis was content to sit back and stay out of their way, Saren was what they'd focus on.

"It'd be nice to make an honest, clean livin' out here. Find a nice little colony resort to retire to and live out the rest of our lives in marital bliss." She didn't need River to tell her that Wash had it all planned out in his head already if the goofy grin on his face was anything to go by. "Sunning on a private beach, naked, me with the watching you sunbathe in the nude."

"Shut up and give me those lips." Zoe growled sensually as Wash surrendered his mouth to the 'work' at hand. He certainly wasn't complaining. When they came up for air a few seconds later, Zoe's cheeks were warm and she was grinning for a whole other reason. "I hope that's a sign of things to come."

"For you darlin', no question." Wash was more than interested in seeing where things went. While it was doubtful they could find a private corner of the pool for a little one on one time, there would always be plenty of chances later. Thanks to Chakwas and the elder Tam, they had all the time in two universes.

Meanwhile, on the Engineering Deck.

"You ain't never been outside that suit yer whole life Tali?" Jayne had trouble wrapping his head around living in a quarian's envirosuit until the day he died. He had been trying to learn more about the young woman in front of him as they made some final adjustments to the shuttle. While ship repair usually put him to sleep, Jayne had a reason to stay awake and aware, and with Archer gone he didn't have to watch his every step. Only problem now is that Fauxlliance girl running around. To him, it was unfortunate she had survived the surgery to remove the bug that had been implanted in her brain, and he wasn't the only one that wasn't too keen about her living to see another day.

If Tali noticed the scowl on the mercenary's face, she didn't comment on it as she rolled out from under the shuttle. Kaylee had done an outstanding job yesterday so there hadn't been a lot left for the quarian to do. "There are sterile areas on the Migrant Fleet that we can move around without the need for our suits, but most of the time we stay inside them to avoid tempting fate."

"I don't know how ya do it Tali. It'd drive me crazier than a Reaver, being stuck in one of those suits." After a moment's thought, Jayne shrugged and nodded to the suit in general. "Least it looks nice."

The compliment, as well intentioned as it was, did little to relieve the tension in the quarian's small figure as she looked up to the big man next to her. "This is all I know, Jayne. It's a way of life for all of my people, one that we've been forced into since the geth took our homeworld."

"Now see, that there is something I just don't get. These geth fellas ain't been seen for what, three hundred years, and then this Saren fella recruits 'em to his army? How he do that? Doesn't make a bit of gorram sense." It wasn't just the fact that Saren had somehow gotten the machine race to follow him, it was the whole thing that they hadn't been seen since pushing the quarians to the brink of extinction that bothered Jayne. Something about all that didn't add up, even to him, and he wasn't the only one that thought so. River had been giving Tali strange looks since the day she had gotten out of the infirmary the first time. "And don't give me that line of bull about them believin' he's some prophet neither. Never was big on religion and I doubt machines have much need for it."

It was times like this that surprised people that hung around the mercenary, especially those that had known him long enough like Mal and his friends. Appearances suggested he was a big brute that didn't know his left hand from his right, but behind that gruff appearance lied some level of cunning that was rare to see in people like Jayne Cobb. Tali was far more surprised however that he had thought on the subject in a far deeper way than she ever had. She had no ready answer for him, no idea how to counter his argument since he was right. It didn't make sense, not in the slightest, as to how Saren had done it.

Then Jayne had to go and drop the ball as his gruff nature took hold again. "Didn't think of that did ya buckethead? Way I figure, Saren is just the middleman, like Badger if he grew a pair large 'nough to take on the verse. It's that Reaper fella that is pulling the strings, like moonbrain suggested."

"Right...you know...you're actually pretty smart Jayne. Here I've been taught about the geth my whole life, and in five minutes you- Oh you stupid bosh'tet!" The quarian had been so distracted by the man's shocking epiphany that she hadn't noticed the tiny puncture on her thigh until now. "Damn it! I must have caught it on something under the-" A small yelp escaped from Tali as two massive arms picked her up a split second later. "What are you doing? Jayne I'm fine. Jayne?"

He wasn't listening as he made the run to the elevator in record time. Before Tali knew what was going on, they were heading up to the med bay. It didn't take the quarian long to figure out that he was honestly worried about her as a few seconds later, she was being carried off the lift, past an oblivious Mal, Jessie, Inara and River, and through the med bay door where Karin was in the middle of showing Simon some of the equipment stored within. "What happened Mr. Cobb?" Karin asked, having a good guess already as Jayne gently placed the girl on one of the nearby beds.

"Suit puncture. Get movin' doc! She needs those special anti-whatevers and a clean place to gorram fix this!" Jayne yelled as he frantically waved his arms at the older physician.

Simon was utterly dumbstruck by what he was seeing, but Karin had the situation well in hand as she tended to Tali, although the quarian had the damage well taken care of by then. "Relax Mr. Cobb. If a single suit tear could kill a quarian so easily, their race would not be here now I assure you."

"Oh...right. Well good then." Jayne's cheeks flushed red as he started to head towards the door.

Tali wasn't going to let him get away that easily though, as she grabbed his arm. "Thank you anyway Jayne. That was...exciting." The slightest hint of a smirk pulled at the merc's lips as he nodded and exited the med bay.

It was only when he had left that Simon recovered from his shock at what had just happened. "This must be what going insane feels like." The statue of Jayne in the middle of mudder central came to mind, but this situation blew that out of the water in its own way.

"No Mr. Tam, it just reveals how deep Jayne's morality truly goes." Karin replied even as she injected a sizable dose of antibiotics into a port on Tali's suit, just to be safe. The tear had already been sealed by the quarian herself by that point. "I take it he surprised you as well Ms. Zorah." It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact.

"Yes, he honestly did." In more ways than one. "He's actually very complicated, but he hides it extremely well. Most of the time." She hadn't been around humans for long, but Tali had thought she was getting good at reading their facial expressions and body language. With their suits, quarians relied on body language far more to tell what the other person was thinking, but it seemed she still had a lot to learn after the 'heroic rescue' by Jayne. He did give me a lot to think about.

"Did I just see Jayne...blushing? Something right awful musta happened." Mal had come into the med bay to see what could have possibly caused something so odd and was left scratching his head, since it seemed everything was in order. He had seen Tali in the med bay a few times since she had joined the crew, and so he couldn't figure out what had happened to cause Jayne to look honest-to-gorram-god embarrassed. "Was there space monkeys again?"

Karin had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from chuckling at the expression on Mal's face. "Only if you brought them with you Mr. Reynolds."

"Jayne did something selfless and heroic, again... and I need to sit down." Simon quietly uttered, which only confused Malcolm all the more as the elder Tam slumped into Karin's usual chair.

"He rushed me here in his arms when I discovered a puncture in my suit Mr. Reynolds. He thought it was a full blown emergency, but I tried to tell him otherwise. He isn't one to listen once he's on the move though." Tali explained as she hopped off of the table, honestly glad that he had acted as he had even if it wasn't necessary. I can see why his crew put up with him, even got close to him.

"He did what now?" Everything after 'in his arms' was a blur as Mal tried to wrap his head around Jayne acting downright caring for any length of time. "Did you say he ran you here there Tali? Huh, never thought I'd hear that about Jayne." The captain shook his head in amazement as he walked back to his cooling meal. Learn somethin' new everyday. I wonder how best to use this for a bit of fun... Mal's thoughts were interrupted as Tali breezed right past him, and ran after a particular gun hand who was headed for the mess. Whoa! That girl can certainly move when she wants to.

Jayne had all but ran into Alex on his way to the galley, the former Alliance tech having been released by Dr. Chakwas less than an hour earlier. When the purple belly didn't move out of the way fast enough, the mercenary started to raise his hand to strike her. Mal didn't like the girl much either, but he was never one to hit a woman. Most of the time anyways, there had been a few rare exceptions. The captain would have intervened if not for the determined looking quarian.

Tali grabbed Jayne's wrist before he managed to get close to the woman. "I don't like the bosh'tet Alliance pretender anymore than you do, but that doesn't mean you get to hurt her just because you hate her."

"Thanks...I think." Kerter was surprised that the strange alien girl had stood up for her. Tali wouldn't have if she knew about what Artemis' crew were doing to the various aliens of the galaxy. Provided the rumors she had heard were true before she had been left for dead anyway.

"Shut up bosh'tet." It almost relieved Kerter to know that Ms. Zorah still hated her guts on principle at least.

"Yes ma'am..." Alex quickly looked at her food and continued eating. And this was only day three. At least Captain Zhu's little 'pep talk' hadn't proved true, but it was still early. She seriously doubted that they'd lull her into a false sense of security before trying anything unpleasant. Or maybe that was exactly what they were doing. The young technician couldn't help shuddering slightly at the thought. No, that can't be true because they removed the implant Captain Zhu 'gave' me before I left.

Jayne wasn't quite done as he rounded on Tali next. "Listen here buckethead, she wouldn't hesitate to sell ya out for a pat on the head from her fuh long captain. It's happened before, guy shot Kaylee 'fore Mal did us a favor and put a bullet to the man. You just wait and see...pretty little blondie here is gonna stab us all in the back first chance she gets."

Kerter did the only thing she could do and left the mess hall while Jayne and Tali were distracted, her meal only half eaten. Unfortunately, she didn't get far as she tried to go to the cargo bay before Wrex and Garrus stopped her. "Be nice Wrex, she's only part of the Fauxilliance, and not much of a part at that." Wrex only glared at the young woman as he pushed his way by, and if not for Garrus catching her, she knew she might have fallen against the stairs. "You know Kerter, if you were turian and you were in any way proven to have been a part of the Miranda Incident, or the program that created River, you would be publicly executed...and that would be the kindest punishment my people could come up with."

"I...I wasn't part of either of those things...I swear." Garrus decided to back off when he saw the terrified look in her eyes. He didn't care how well you were trained, no one he had ever met could fake real and honest-to-Spirits terror. Besides, he had promised Shepard he would set a good example around her for the rest of the crew.

"Good to know. Excuse me, I have better things to be doing right now. And Alex...I might not trust you, but if anyone else gives you any trouble, you come to me or the Commander. Understood?" She didn't know what surprised her more; the fact he had used her first name or the fact that he had almost sounded kind when most everyone else had wanted her head mounted in the CIC.

"This turian bothering you? Hey Garrus, let me guess...calibrations right?" It wasn't a suggestion as a smirking Jessie looked at the former officer who only nodded and walked away, understanding the Commander's need for privacy with the Fauxilliance woman. "Tech Kerter, will you follow me please?"

Alex nodded her head, and almost gave Shepard a standard salute before catching herself. "Yes ma'am." At Shepard's curious look, Alex felt compelled to explain why she had changed her mind on the salute. "Sorry ma'am. In the Alli- in the Fauxilliance as you call them, we were told from day one to always salute a superior officer There are strict penalties and even punishments in place if you failed to show the proper respect."

"Just another reason why I wouldn't fit in your universe Kerter. We're more relaxed about regulations. Oh, and we don't turn people into Reavers or assassins." Jessie sighed and took a breath, trying to calm down before she started speaking again. "Sorry, you'd normally catch me in a better mood. You know what, I'm going to prove a point...call me Shepard or Jessie, your choice, right now."

The nervousness radiating off the younger woman intensified as she began to stutter. "I um...C-Commander, it wouldn't... b-be proper for me to-"

I'm feeling a headache coming on. At least this one can be worked out without being blasted apart. "That bad huh? What in the sphincter of...shit, damn Mal and his sayings. What did they do to you if you failed to salute on time? Hang a damn puppy? You know what, I probably don't want to know."

Kerter had started to explain before Shepard had finished. "Usually the offender would be flogg...yes ma'am sorry ma'am." A deep frown formed on Jessie's face, which only made Alex feel even more nervous in front of her. "May I be dismissed Commander? Chief Adams will be expecting me shortly."

"Of course, and Alex?" Before she got too far, Shepard hoped to set her mind at ease a little bit if she could. "Whatever the others might think of you, I'm willing to give you a chance, that's why I haven't had you restrained like Archer. Don't make me regret it, alright?" The 'bug' in the woman's brain had made Shepard's decision as to whether or not she could trust the former 'Alliance' woman. Jessie wasn't planning on telling her anytime soon though, Alex seemed flustered enough by her odd new surroundings as it was.

Alex was still scared of Jessie Shepard because of her uncanny appearance to Artemis Zhu, but she was starting to adjust to the fact Jessie was nothing like her former captain. Because of that, she was, briefly at least, able to look the Commander in the eyes. "I have you and Doctor Chakwas to thank for saving my life...Shepard. The last thing on my mind is betrayal."

"I believe you Kerter, carry on." Shepard managed not to smirk as she gave Alex a casual salute, which was quickly returned. Going their separate ways, it didn't take Shepard long to find River and Inara in the mess.

It wasn't long after that that Jessie, River, and Inara were situated at a table not too far off from Mal, and it seemed they were in a deep conversation about something or another if he were to guess. "I am surprised you hadn't thought of this before mei mei." Inara said, her cup of tea halfway to her lips as she mulled over what River had just brought up.

"I hadn't considered it until the thought crossed Jessie's mind." River replied, shrugging since she wasn't sure if it would work out or not either way.

"It makes sense to me. You said that when your brother cut back on the crap he's been injecting you with, that your little episodes had been becoming less and less. Maybe it had something to do with going to Miranda as well, I can't be sure, but it seems to me that maybe it's time to stop the 'treatments' altogether." Jessie had never been a fan of drugs, regardless for what they were used for. Simon's idea to keep his sister drugged up to the gills didn't sit well with the Commander at all.

"We all knew Simon meant well, and, at the time, he was the only medical professional we had. But now...I think you're right Jessie. River, you have improved greatly since we talked Simon into cutting back." And she had gotten better, Inara could see it. It wasn't just the new ship and crew they had become a part of either. She wasn't a doctor, but the Companion had seen River at her worst and this was far from it.

"Part of the reason was Miranda, of getting that memory out of me that wasn't mine anyway, so trying this before might not have worked. Now, chances are excellent that going 'cold turkey' will be met with success." Her powers and the Alliance programming would still be present, and her amygdala would still be gone, but River had a very good feeling that the psychotic episodes she had endured for far too long would no longer plague her. If this worked, the chaos would be quiet and she'd be as normal as she could possibly be despite everything that had happened.

"It's good enough for me." Jessie smiled as she finished her meal, finding that she was looking forward to what she was planning to do to Simon. "Excuse me ladies, I need to rip Doctor Tam a new asshole." River giggled while Inara did her best to keep the subtle smile off of her face as Jessie rose from the table. Well no one ever accused me of being too subtle.

Shepard gave Karin a quick nod before turning to Simon, her faint grin having turned to a dangerous glare. "I've made a decision Doctor. If you try to force anymore injections on your sister, I'll personally be injecting them into you." When Simon looked up from his monitor and started to protest, Shepard cut him off immediately. "And if that doesn't get my point across, be aware that I can kill you with my brain as well, and that it's not a bluff."

Simon just closed his eyes and held his head in his heads. "No...this has got to be what going insane feels like."

"What was that Doctor?" Jessie snapped after hearing his confusing statement. "I could always start now if you'd like."

"I think it would be wise to listen to them, Doctor Tam." Liara said from the door behind Simon and Karin. "I believe your sister is alright, and that this will help her to heal. I know you mean well, but perhaps it's time to give up your obsession with 'fixing her'?"

"I'm a doctor...I heal people. If I can't even help my own sister..." Simon stared at the cluttered desk, his eyes full of guilt. Deep down, he had always felt what had happened to River to be the greatest single failure of his entire life. At least I never gave up on her like our parents.

"You're also her sibling. Maybe you should act more like her brother and less like her personal doctor?" Liara asked, a hint of irritation in her voice as she turned back around, the door shutting behind her with a hiss.

Shepard's eyebrows shot up at hearing Liara say something even vaguely rude. I'm going to have give her a gold star or something for that. "Couldn't have said it better myself, I'll have to thank Liara later. Come on doc, you're looking a little pale. Let's get you something to eat, and you can tell your little sister how you aren't going to jab her with needles anymore. Sound good?"

Shepard had to lean over to hear Simon's muffled voice a moment later. "Do I have a choice?"

Jessie had to smirk, even if she wasn't bluffing in the least as she replied. "Not if you don't want to end up as a smear on the deck, no."

Simon knew it was a lost cause and simply accepted the fact he wasn't going to win against Jessie Shepard, definitely not in this lifetime anyway. "In that case, I could go for some eggs." He replied glumly, being led out of the med bay by a rather 'persuasive' Shepard, leaving a confused Chakwas behind to figure out what had just happened.

When they had gone, Liara exited the small storage room and met Karin's gaze. "Was I perhaps too forward Doctor Chakwas? I had not meant to snap like that." She couldn't quite understand why she had said that, or where the anger necessary had come from, only that she knew she had knee jerked.

Karin chuckled at the guilty looking asari. "Better your temper than one of Simon's bones."

The kind doctor had to bite her lip as Liara did her best impression of a confused puppy dog look. "I do not understand what-"

Karin interrupted the almost painfully naive asari, a sad look on the doctor's face since what she said next was pretty accurate in regards to Commander Shepard's character. "It means that Jessie might have very well hurt Simon, if he didn't listen to her. Even if he means well, I believe that Commander Shepard is right. You said exactly what needed to be said, Liara. No more, no less."

Elysium Town Center.

Twenty minutes later.

"Take care ya little pyjaks." Wrex tried to sound gruff, but Kaidan didn't need River to tell him that he had grown attached to Narina, Tommy, and Jessica. Arrangements had been made once things had settled on the ship and now they were saying goodbye. "If the folks here give ya any trouble, feel free to send us a message. Just be sure to go for the eyes first kid." Tommy grinned and nodded as the boy hugged the old krogan around the middle, earning a deep laugh from the battlemaster as he did his best to return the favor, without crushing the little boy in the process.

"Tell Jessie thank you for everything." Jessica said as she looked up to Inara, wiping at her eyes as the Companion ran a hand through the girl's hair.

"I will, I promise. Good luck, and be safe." Inara knew that Jessie would have been there if not for the fact she had been worried she'd take all three of the children right back to the ship. Everyone had grown attached to the kids that had been saved from Mindoir and the Reaver cruiser. Jessica nodded and hugged the Companion the moment the beautiful woman knelt in front of her.

Kaidan was doing his best to not make a scene as he kneeled in front of Narnia. "I'm sorry honey, but this is goodbye...for a little while at least. I promise I'll comm you and Tommy when I can, how does that sound?"

The young asari just continued to stare at him with crossed arms and a pout that was ripping his guts out right then. "Don't believe her Kaidan. She will miss you, but she is trying her best not to cry." River

said as she appeared out of thin air behind the biotic. Narina shot a glare at the Reader but she couldn't maintain the facade any longer as she burst into tears. "It's ok Narina, we'll miss you too." The younger Tam said as she knelt next to the young asari even as Narina almost bowled Kaidan over.

"I don't want you to leave!" Tiny hands almost crushed the air out of Kaidan's lungs as he wrapped his arms around the sobbing child.

"Narina...it's alright." Tommy said, surprising everyone but River since he hadn't said a word until now. While it took a little effort on his part, the young boy's words were still loud and clear. "We will see them again." He couldn't be sure on that, but the fact they were alive at all was good enough for him.

"Tommy...thanks you big dork." Narina managed to say between the diminishing sobs that still escaped her as she rubbed at her eyes with her arm. Tommy only giggled and shrugged off the insult since that was her usual pet name for him. When her tears had dried up, Narina looked up to Kaidan and managed to smile a little. "When I grow up, I want to be just like you Kaidan. I'll miss you. Take care of your clueless Commander."

"I'm sure you'll be the best there is, no matter what you decide to do." Kaidan replied, smiling even as he rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. "If you three ever need anything...you know who to call right?"

"Wrex. He can hit people for us." The young asari rolled her eyes at the mild frown on Kaidan's face. "Thank you...ya happy now you pi gu?"

"Very." Kaidan quickly got back to his feet and muttered something about shopping to the others before saying goodbye to the kids one last time. At least he made it around a corner before a few tears started to fall from his eyes. He didn't pay attention to where he was going as he continued walking forward, needing to put some distance between the orphanage and himself as possible. No one had ever told him he'd be dropping kids off when he had signed on to be an Alliance marine.

So lost in his own little rain cloud, Kaidan didn't know he had someone walking beside him until she started to speak. "No one as handsome as you should ever look so terribly depressed." Looking up to see a petite red head standing next to him, Kaidan almost continued walking until she put a hand on his shoulder. Something about the action struck of tenderness and warmth, two things he hadn't felt in a long time. "I'm sorry, I was..." She started to pull away as if realizing what she had done.

"It's alright." Kaidan said as he noticed she stopped walking. 'Today's been a rough day." A rough day? It's been a rough month.

"I can tell. You're worried about people close to you, aren't you? I've seen it before, sometimes I find myself almost caring too much as well." Kaidan nodded as the girl's soft words reached his ears like a balm. She had hit the nail on the head without even trying. "Can I ask what your name is?"

"Kaidan Alenko, and you are?" Kaidan asked as he held out his hand. He noted that she seemed to hesitate for a moment before she took it in her own. It was warm and she had a firm grip.

"Sharice Templeton. I never usually do this...but there's just something about you...would you like to get coffee maybe, or a meal?" Her big blue eyes were hard to ignore even if he had wanted to look anywhere else, and resisting was the last thing on his mind.

If she had asked that right away or even before dropping the kids off, Kaidan might have turned her down in a heartbeat. Emotionally drained, from the last week especially, he decided to throw caution to the wind to live a little, for once. "Sure, know any good places around here?"

"I believe I do, but my experience here is...limited. I haven't been on Elysium long." Sharice looked ready to burst with excitement as she grabbed Kaidan by the hand and led him down the street. "I've only recently gotten off my homeworld and there's been so much to see."

They had quickly found a quaint little bistro, and managed to have a fantastic dinner. Kaidan had even politely offered to pay, which only made Sharice all the more enamoured with him. "A kind, sensitive man and an actual gentleman to boot? You don't see many of those nowadays."

"It's a dying art I'm afraid." Kaidan responded, having all but forgotten what had happened only an hour ago as he smiled at his table guest. It felt good to have a normal conversation again, even if he might not ever see this girl again. To be normal even for an hour was worth it. "Wait, how can I be so boring, here we've talked about me all this time and I never even asked what you do."

Sharice only put a hand on his own and offered her most warming smile. "I find your life so fascinating, far more so to my own, that I could listen to you all day without complaint. To see the stars on such a ship as the Normandy, and to serve under such a powerful woman as Commander Shepard. Isn't she the first human Spectre?"

"Indeed she is Sharice, and a well deserved honor as far as I'm concerned. Still, I'd like to learn more about you. Where do you come from and what do you do?" Kaidan asked, hoping to learn more about his enthralling table guest. She had listened to him talk without complaint, it was only fair he returned the favor.

Sharice shrugged and took a sip of her tea before she started to speak again. "There's not a lot to say. I came from Tiptree, studied to be a vet. Lots of farm stock on that world, and they always need proper care and attention. I fancy myself an amature artist though, but my stuff isn't that great if you ask me." There was a sudden twinkle in her eye as she smiled. "But you...you get to go on adventures everyday, helping people and exploring the galaxy."

"It's not all it's cracked up to be sometimes Sharice. We've come close to total disaster a few times already, and when we aren't trying to help people or getting shot at, we have the constant threat of impending death to worry about. Still, that's what brings us together I suppose." Kaidan shrugged, and then an idea came to mind. Commander Shepard would probably shoot him for this, but how much harm could one girl pose? Besides, he didn't plan to keep her around. A quick tour and they'd leave her behind when they set out again. "Would you like to see the Normandy? Jess...I mean Commander Shepard might not approve, but I'm pretty sure I can talk her into at least letting you see the hanger bay if nothing else."

"Really?! You'd do that for me...how could I ever repay you." Kaidan felt an honest-to-God blush forming on his cheeks as she dramatically batted her eyes at him and then giggled at his reaction. "Come on, it's not everyday I get to see a starship." Kaidan found himself grinning at her enthusiasm as the petite girl grabbed his hand, and he threw an incredibly generous credit chit on the table before she gently pulled him away.

Twenty minutes later.

Back at the Eavestown Docks.

"She's amazing Kaidan. I've never seen such a beautiful ship..." Sharice said in awe at the impressive vessel that was looking down from her berth at the street below. "So...can I get that tour?" Kaidan half expected the girl to start jumping up and down in excitement as he gestured towards the open hangar bay.

Malcolm was the first to set eyes on Sharice and the moment the couple ascended the ramp, he knew she recognized him too when the 'girl' showed her true colors by grabbing Kaidan's pistol from its holster before he could draw breath again. "You have got to be gorram kidding me! Of all the worlds, of all the ports on this one...you had to be on this ship." 'Sharice' couldn't have been more surprised than if she had heard she was to rule the Alliance as its new queen, or something equally preposterous.

"Let me guess...this must be Mrs. Alenko? How many poor saps does that make now?" Malcolm said as a smirk crossed his face, and his hand tightened around his sidearm.

"I take it this is Saffron?" Kaidan growled as he felt his own gun against the back of his neck, Saffron having drawn a knife which was pressed against his side for good measure. The gun he wasn't so worried about since he had kept his shield belt on, but the knife was a problem. Even using his biotics to create a Barrier would be useless against a slow moving blade. He was far more pissed off by the fact he had been played like a complete fool.

"I see someone has been telling stories. Yes, I'm Saffron, you gorram hwoon dahn!" The insult had been pointed towards Malcolm, but Kaidan still winced as Saffron dug in her blade, piercing his civilian clothes and drawing blood in the process. "Your hand touches that gun and this man dies before he hits the deck."

"Best get to stabbin' then." Malcolm grinned since as far as he could see, she had no way out. "Far as I can figure, you can let him go and we let you walk to con some other poor sap, or you can be riddled full of holes where you stand the moment you take the boy scout's life. No offense." Kaidan merely grunted in response as Mal saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye. Well, this changes things nicely. "Time's up." Malcolm's hand was a blur as he drew his gun and fired, the knife in the little minx's hand exploding in a shower of sparks and metal shards when the mass accelerated round hit the blade.

Alex Kerter made her move as Saffron gasped in pain, tackling her away from the now injured Alenko. Unfortunately for her, the con woman had managed to keep a hold of her stolen pistol and pulled the trigger the moment she had the barrel lined up with Alex's face. Kaidan was a split second faster as a Barrier surrounded the gun itself, blocking the bullet before it had a chance to leave. His gun was a total loss as the round went back the way it had just came, and destroyed his pistol in the surprised woman's hand. Her hand was still wrapped around the grip, and Saffron nearly lost every finger on her right hand from the resulting explosion while her left was cut up pretty badly by the shattered knife.

"If I didn't know Chakwas would lecture me for a month, I'd let you bleed out in my hangar bay." Jessie growled, having heard the commotion from the crew deck and had come running down to see what was going on, flanked by Garrus and Ashley. The moment she saw the 'girl' on the floor, nursing two badly injured hands, she figured out what had happened. It helped that Mal looked ready to put a round through the woman's head if she so much as twitched wrong. "So you're the infamous Saffron. You don't look like much, but I know appearances can be deceiving, so this is how this is going to work. You are going to go with Chief Williams and Officer Vakarian to the med bay, and Doctor Chakwas is going to take a look at you. If you so much as breathe wrong though, I will happily slit your throat for attempting to fuck with my crew. Do we understand each other?"

Saffron was barely able to nod her head as she grimaced in pain. "Yes, yes! Please just help me!"

"Now there's something I never thought I'd hear from the likes of you." Mal said as he stood aside for Ashley and Garrus, his gun never wavering as they half dragged, half carried the con woman to the elevator. When she was gone, only then did Malcolm look towards Alex who was still on the floor. "Hey, you alright there Kerter?"

"Yes sir, I'm fine. I am just a little dizzy is all-" Kaidan quickly limped over to the girl, who clearly had to be in shock. While he had gotten a cut and a few shrapnel wounds from Malcolm's 'bright' idea to shoot a knife pressed against him, the tech's head and shoulders had numerous cuts from his own 'bright' idea. Putting a Barrier around his own pistol had been the only thing Kaidan could think of at the time, if what he had pulled off could be considered a conscious decision anyway. "No please, I swear I didn't do anything wrong sir, please not again." Alex slumped over and literally started cowering at the biotic's approach.

"It's ok, it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you Alex. I'm nothing like that bastard who hurt you. Let's get you on your feet." Kaidan groaned in some effort as he knelt and gently pulled the frightened technician to her feet before putting an arm around her waist. "We're going to see the docs and then we'll figure out how in the hell that bitch found her way here." Mal didn't miss the pointed glare that Kaidan threw his way as they passed. Alex seemed to calm, if only slightly, as they walked to the elevator which Jessie had summoned for them by that point.

"You're right...the Major would have never done this." Alex still shied away from Jessie, but the Commander didn't mind since she was just thankful that Kaidan had been able to get close enough to help her along as the elevator started its ascent again. The minute tremors that passed through the 'purple belly' could have been attributed to her injuries, but Jessie wasn't so sure on that.

Karin did not look pleased to see a patient she had just released hours earlier being assisted back into her med bay. "Commander...Lieutenant...dare I ask how Ms. Kerter and the woman Garrus and Ashley just dragged in were injured so badly?"

Despite the fact he was limping with every step, Kaidan managed a weak smile. "That depends, how are you about polygamy crazed women?" When the Doctor glared at him, Kaidan just sighed and helped Alex to a bed. "It's a long story Doc. Just patch everybody up, I promise I'll fill you in later."

Wash and Zoe, on their way back to the Eavestown Docks.

If her husband's grin got any bigger, Zoe was sure his head would split in half as they boarded the train back to the docks. Although the former soldier was having a hard time keeping straight face as they took their seats before the train started its homeward journey. "Well that was fun...shameless and highly unsanitary...but fun."

Zoe finally let a smile burst through her stern veneer as her husband leered at her. How he had the energy to do even that, she had no idea. Considering the fact that they had found a dark corner and had thrown their own little 'party', Zoe was surprised she had any energy of her own. "Shepard didn't steer us wrong, gonna have to thank the woman when I get the chance."

Wash carried on as if he hadn't heard his wife. "Highly enlightening too...to think we've spent all this time on a spaceship and never took advantage of zero g... Gotta hand it to these folk, they know their debaucherous ways down to a tee. No one so much as raised an eyebrow at us the whole time. Even with all that very impressive screaming." The way Wash wiggled his eyebrows at her made Zoe completely lose any control she had as she laughed at her man.

"You were a little louder than normal dear. I was worried for a sec that someone might call a medic by mistake." Zoe couldn't stop a few chuckles from escaping her at her husband's goofy grin. "This was exactly what we needed."

"The wild sex or the bonding?" He knew the answer to that but his wife's laughter was all that mattered to him as he pulled her into a hug. "I know it couldn't have been easy, this past year honey, but you stuck around. A lot of people would have left me behind."

Zoe leaned into kiss her man as she whacked the back of his head in annoyance. "I ain't most people dearest, and don't you forget it."

Only when a gunshot rang out through the passenger section of the train pulled Wash and Zoe back to the present. "Every single gorram time...can't a guy just please his wife in peace?" Wash sighed as he raised his hands in annoyance before dropping them to his sides. "Didn't you and the captain pull a train job?" He knew the answer to that even as Zoe glared at him.

"Stay close." Zoe whispered as she felt Wash's hand go for the rifle at her hip. She didn't react save to step in front of him to block the approaching thieves' line of sight so they didn't see what they were up to. One krogan, two turians, four humans, and an asari. They ain't screwing around. The krogan and the asari would be the ones to watch, but Zoe was already calculating the odds as she watched the krogan demand any valuables the passengers possessed be handed over.

"Get to the vault in the back Tarkesh! Forget the petty thieving idiot!" The krogan glared at the asari, the leader by appearances, but the hulking lizard stomped past without a word. The asari meanwhile turned her gaze to Wash and Zoe, her eyes narrowing for a moment before looking elsewhere. "We're here for the contents of the vault that is Systems Alliance 'property.' The humans of that corrupt government have stolen from us for too long, so we're taking some of it back."

"Terminus System crooks, should have known." A rival turian officer grumbled even as he was dragged between two of his fellows. "Honorless thieves like you have no place in our galaxy. Why don't you go back to that black hole you crawled out of?!"

The asari merely pulled her pistol, turned, and fired before the officer hit the deck moments later with a smoking hole between his eyes. "Heroics like the one this 'officer' tried a car ahead will get you killed."

"The vault's needin' a passcode Aya. Where's that tech head you brought with us?" Tarkesh grumbled as the krogan stomped back into the passenger car. Aya jerked her head towards one of the turians. "You, scaleface, get in here!"

Their safe cracker bristled at the krogan's insult. "I have a name you simpleton lizard."

Aya grabbed the man by his armored collar. "It's going to be on a grave marker if you don't open that vault in two minutes. We need to be gone in ten before we hit the checkpoint." The other turian grabbed the man by the shoulder as they quickly followed Tarkesh into the next car. "Now...ladies, gentlemen, and monogendered species, if you'll cooperate with us and be good little hostages, no one else needs to die today."

Over my dead body. Zoe thought as she waited for the train robbers to make the mistake that would cost them. It came when one of the four humans got too close. The knife she kept in her boot had long ago found its way into her hand and she put it to use. Before the man knew what was happening, his throat had already been slit and Wash was in the process of firing her rifle into the nearest enemies. Even as bodies hit the floor either from being killed or in an attempt to find cover, Zoe had taken the assault rifle the man had been carrying and went for Aya next, but one of the humans got in the way by accident. She ended up taking an entire 'clip' to the chest which drained her shields, shredded the armor, and the woman underneath in that order. It gave the asari time to make a break for the next car and Tarkesh.

If not for Wash keeping the two humans that were left at bay, they would have been in trouble as they tried to rush their position at the same time. They were smarter than Zoe would have given them credit for, but when they went to hop over the seats again, she and her husband were ready for them. "Who in the goddess's name are you two?!" Aya shouted from the vault car as Tarkesh brought a hostage out with him.

"It doesn't matter! Either you drop those weapons humans or I'm gonna-" Zoe unloaded her assault rifle into the alien's forehead after his shields gave out a split second later. At least the hostage was smart enough to shove himself away from the wobbling krogan before his dead body crushed him.

"I'm sorry, were you going to say you were going to kill him? Would you like to finish?" Zoe didn't give Aya or her surviving crew time to regroup as she leveled her gun at them next. "Come out slowly and no one else needs to die."

"Damn you! Damn you both!" Aya shouted even as she reluctantly started forward, the two turians flanking her. "Three months of planning, and you two had to fuck it all up! I'll enjoy spending my larger share after I kill you!"

Wash barely contained his laughter at how ridiculously long planned their little train robbery attempt had been. "Three months? I'm sorry but we've done better than that with far less time to prepare." Thankfully, Zoe had the presence of mind to pull her hubby out of the asari's line of fire before the man could get himself shredded. The smile was gone when he came up firing, clipping Aya in the shoulder before putting another round in the right turian's neck. He quickly slumped to the floor of the car as blue blood gushed out of his wound.

"Aya...this is crazy! Let's get out of-" The other turian slumped over, a massive hole in his skull. The asari's last remaining ally was put down by the pistol she had drawn on him before aiming it at the two infuriating humans in front of her. Zoe's 'borrowed' assault rifle took the shot that was meant for her before she was able to get to cover. Wash returned the favor however and blasted the asari's gun hand, forcing her to drop her pistol.

Zoe glared at the woman in her sights, having picked up another rifle on her way to the downed asari. "Any smart leader would have quit while they were ahead. Or were you planning on killing them anyway and were happy to let us do your dirty work for you?"

"Too bad you were just a little too effective in helping me get rid of that trash." The asari sneered at her as she clutched at her wounded stomach. Zoe's rifle had proven a little too effective as well, and had punched right through the pistol into the asari herself. "Why are you upset over it anyway? Your kind are always stabbing each other in the back. Just look at what's happening on Mindoir."

"Only a fool doesn't know that their family is their crew. Too bad you'll never get the chance to figure that out." A single shot rang out, but Aya was surprised to see that she was still alive even as a smoking hole appeared right next to her head. Zoe was many things but a cold blooded murderer wasn't one of them. "Course, there are other schools of thought."

"Too bad, you should have put that round through my head. I'm going to make you regret that bitch, enjoy your last seconds with-" Wash and Zoe had already rushed the injured woman the moment they saw the grenade in her hand. By the time she had armed it, they were already throwing her into the next car. And by the time she had stopped speaking, she only had a split second to glare at Wash's grinning face as he helped Zoe slam the door shut. The explosion had nowhere else to go but the armored train car where the vault was located. Strangely enough, the vault's door was open when the smoke cleared, but other than a smoking blast crater, there was no sign of the asari.

"Still glad we came out here dear?" Zoe asked, but if she had expected Wash to be upset over how their day had ended, she was pleasantly surprised by the grin that was on the man's face.

"Wouldn't have traded it for the verse. Ah, so much lost youth and so many bad decisions. I almost want to shed a tear for these poor idiots. And if we weren't tryin' to be honest folk in this verse, I'd be tempted to make off with the contents of the vault ourselves."

Zoe just smirked as, with a mildly surprised yelp, she pulled Wash towards her and gave him a bruising kiss before letting him go. "But you're horribly honest dear, that's why I married you, remember?"

Wash gave her a slightly hurt look before waggling his eyebrows. "I thought you said it was because I had a nice ass?"

"That too dear." She was about to kiss him again when a drell bumped into her on his way by. Turning to glare at the alien, Zoe was surprised to see there was no trace of the man save a flash of a black leather coat as he exited the passenger car. Having felt his hand enter her jacket pocket, Zoe had expected to find something missing, but instead found a sizable credit chit had been left along with a data file.

Curiosity got the better of Zoe as she uploaded the file onto her omni-tool and found the following message along with a contract hit that had been placed on the asari she and Wash had accidentally blown up. "Greetings. You do not know me, but I congratulate you on your brave act. Since you have, however inadvertently, completed my assigned contract, I felt it was only fair that you should receive the payment that would have otherwise been meant for me. May Arashu watch over you and protect you."

"Huh, nice fellow." Wash didn't know what else to say as the train came to a stop a few moments later, at a station not too far from the docks.

Back at the Orphanage

Three hours later

Looking up from the stack of data pads in front of her, the asari was happy to see she had a guest. "I'm not surprised you decided to change your mind Lt. Alenko." The orphanage administrator smiled at the grinning officer. "I knew you'd be back for them."

"What can I say, they need me." The officer smiled as the two running children grabbed onto him. Jessica and Tommy were all smiles as the Alliance soldier knelt and pulled them close.

Narina held back, sensing something amiss about 'Kaidan'. He looked exactly the same, and while his clothes from before were different, that was easily explained. It was the cold smile on the man's face that gave him away to the highly observant asari. "You aren't him...YOU AREN'T HIM! Tommy, get away from him!"