Author's Note: I want to send a huge shout-out to my awesome Beta Reader, LionshadeSC, who was a massive helper and personal cheerleader during the long hard process of ironing out these first two chapters. You're awesome!

(Also, to those following my 50-theme challenge, I haven't given up on it by any means, so no worries.)

I hope you enjoy reading! If so, reviews do a world of good for my self-esteem. :)

EDIT: The gorgeous cover picture was made for me by the incredibly talented Eleathyra, and she gave me her express permission to use it as the cover. Thank you so, so much, Eleathyra! (You can see it in it's full awesomeness on her deviantArt page, just search her name.)

Virtually Unpredictable

Chapter One: Vengeance and Video Games

Roxanne woke up in the usual chair, in a typical evil lair, but without the usual bag over her head. She still had the smell of old potatoes in her nose, though, which meant it had only been removed a few moments ago. She often wished they would just use a plain, non-smelly blindfold.

"Ah, Miss Ritchi…" Megamind spun his chair to face her, smiling evilly. "Once again you find yourself at my mercy!"

She gave him a slightly amused smirk. "Hello Megamind. This isn't the usual kidnapping day. You know Mondays are busy at the office, right?"

He paused. "Well, yes, but unfortunately for you, this particular genius plot is time-sensitive."

She gave a resigned little eye roll. "I see. So, what is the 'horrible death trap' this time?"

"Funny you should ask, Miss Ritchi. Because…"

Minion interrupted him. "Uh, Sir? I'm getting that error code again."

Megamind got up with an annoyed frown. "I thought for certain that would fix it. Did you try- Excuse me, Miss Ritchi." He shot her an apologetic look. "Did you try transferring that set of files to the fifth server?

"Yes, about ten minutes ago," Minion said while typing quickly. "I don't think memory is the issue here. Maybe the program itself has a glitch."

"Hmm… Let me try something." Megamind sat at another keyboard and started typing at a pace that would have made a human secretary envious.

Roxanne was left sitting there, becoming more and more irritated. "Couldn't you have done this stuff before you kidnapped me?"

Megamind didn't take his eyes off the screen. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Miss Ritchi. But frankly, evil does not adjust its shedual to fit the whims of the captive."

"You mean 'schedule.'" she corrected.

"That's what I said." There were a few more seconds of frantic typing. "There. Try it now, Minion."

Minion hit a few buttons. "I think you did it, Sir! It's booting up perfectly."

"You're sure, now?" Megamind asked as he stood up.

"It's working great as far as I can tell." Minion lowered his voice. "Of course, there's always that risk we discussed…"

Megamind waved his protests away. "Yes yes, I'm aware of that, Minion. The odds of something like that happening are insignificant. This plan is foolproof!"

"You say that about every plan..." Minion muttered, although Megamind either didn't hear him or just ignored him.

Megamind turned his attention back to Roxanne. "As I was saying… What was I saying?"

"You were still on the empty threat, and I was about to remark on the cheesiness of said threat." Roxanne said matter-of-factly.

Megamind got a smug look that made her feel a bit uneasy. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong, Miss Ritchi. You see, my head is big for a reason. I've noticed that you don't seem to be frightened for your life. I can't imagine why not, but I digress."

He sat in his chair and spun away from her, still talking. "So I thought to myself, if she doesn't fear death, how could I get her to take me seriously? There must be something she values greatly, that I can threaten to take away."

"That," he said, spinning quickly towards her, "is when I had an epiphany!"

Roxanne gave him an irritated look. "You're making me dizzy with that chair."

His smirk grew as he turned away again. "You put a lot of time and effort into your reports for work, don't you?"

She raised an eyebrow, wondering where he was going with this. "So?"

He turned back to her. "And you keep those reports on your laptop, don't you. Don't look so surprised; you honestly think your computer's flimsy firewall could keep out someone like me, with unlimited time and intelligence?"

She frowned. "If you have a point, Megamind, I suggest you make it."

"Now, wouldn't it just be too tragic if someone were to press THIS," he gestured grandly to a large red button, "and delete all your precious files?!"

Her jaw dropped. "You're bluffing."

He grinned, pleased to have the upper hand for once. "Oh, am I? Do you really want to test that theory?"

Roxanne looked at the button, then at Megamind, taking note of the incredibly mischievous look in his eyes.

She'd known for a long time he would never actually hurt her, but something like this… It was sneaky, it was underhanded, but it was ultimately harmless. It was psychological warfare at it's most annoying.

She rolled her eyes, frustrated. "Call Metro Man."

Megamind couldn't help snickering as he turned to his control panel. "I had a feeling you'd say that."

"Shut up," she growled.

About two minutes later, Metro Man appeared on the screen as Megamind laughed evilly to announce his presence.

Metro Man turned to look at the projection. "Megamind."

"Greetings, Metro Man!" Megamind's voice boomed across the city. "Are you wearing your 'quaking in terror' boots today? Because you're going to need them!"

Metro Man noticed his adversary didn't seem able to wipe that ecstatic grin off his face. How odd. Maybe today was going to be a nice break from routine.

"The only thing that'll be quaking anytime soon is the foundation of your evil plan!" he said confidently.

"Ah, but I hired an architect! Isn't that right, Miss Ritchi?"

Roxanne's image appeared next to Megamind's.

Metro Man gasped melodramatically. "Roxie!"

Roxanne inwardly cringed at the nickname. She hated when people called her that.

"Didn't you have something you wanted to tell Metro Man, Miss Ritchi?" Megamind could hardly contain himself. This was going perfectly.

Roxanne gave an elaborate sigh. "Help, Metro Man," She deadpanned. "The evil, brilliant, and," she made a face, "devilishly handsome Megamind is holding me captive." She looked disgusted. "Ugh, I can't believe what I'm saying…"

"Now now, Miss Ritchi." Megamind smirked. "Wouldn't want me to press that red button, now would you?"

Roxanne shot him a glare that would have sent chills up the spine of a lesser villain. As far as Megamind was concerned, it was a warped kind of compliment that he was all-too-happy to accept.

"Release that defenseless girl at once, you evildoer!" Metro Man cried.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, old friend." Megamind laughed. "But in the spirit of good sportsmanship, I'll give you a warning. Make sure you come in through the ceiling!"

The projection vanished and Metro Man took off. Using his super-hearing, he quickly located the warehouse. Of course, if Megamind wanted him to come through the ceiling, then it had to be a trap. So Metro Man crashed in through the front door instead. An instant later, he found himself trapped in a cage.

Megamind walked out of the shadows. "Didn't I tell you to come in through the ceiling?" He smirked.

Actually, the ceiling had been booby-trapped as well, on the off-chance that Metro Man had actually seen through his reverse psychology. The fact that he didn't was incredibly satisfying. Megamind had to take whatever small victories he could get; so just being smarter than Wayne was gratifying in and of itself.

"You actually expect this cage to hold me for long, Megamind?" Metro Man scoffed.

"Well, it is made of my own patented super-strong titanium alloy," Megamind mused, "which we both know is the only metal on Earth that can stand up to your strength for any length of time."

"We've seen him break out of that stuff in less than a minute," Roxanne said in exasperation. "This is the big plan you had to hold my job hostage for?"

"Oh ye of little faith," Megamind gave her that ominously smug look, "it only needs to hold Metro Man a few seconds. Just long enough for him to be hit by this!"

He hit a button, which caused two large Tesla coil-looking things to rise out of the floor.

"Megamind, what are you up to?" Metro Man refused to become worried. He'd escaped from much tougher traps than this.

"First, my dear nemesis, a question," Megamind struggled to keep from snickering. "Do you play video games?"

"Video Games?" Metro Man was stunned. "Of course not! I'm too busy saving the world from villains like you to waste time on video games!"

"No? Well, that is too bad, isn't it?" Megamind said casually. "It might have saved your life. Oh well, it's too late for that, I suppose." He shot his rival an oddly spiteful glare. "You've always been rather inept at the video game that is life, haven't you?"

"Not really, I've never once been sent back to level one." Metro Man said grandly. "You, on the other hand…"

"Ah, but you forget, Metro Man," Megamind pointed at him dramatically, "even if I do get sent back to the prison level, I get to keep all the experience points I earned!"

"Those experience points are useless against the Level Boss of Justice!"

"But your Level Boss of Justice can be defeated by the power-up of Ultimate Evil!" Megamind cried.

"Yeah, but that power-up takes way more experience points than you've earned." Metro Man said dryly.

Megamind growled. "And I suppose you have enough, noob? You said it yourself, you're no gamer."

"That's because I have a life."

"Why you insolent…"

Roxanne looked over at Minion. "They're really going at it today, aren't they?"

"Well, Sir is very confident about today's plan." Minion shrugged.

"...The Overfilled Gelatin Mold of Wickedness!" Megamind was exclaiming.

"The Rain of Righteousness will melt your Gelatin of Wickedness!" Metro Man countered.

"…How do you feel about it, Minion?" Roxanne asked.

Minion hesitated. "I'm not really at liberty to talk about it."

He didn't look very confident. Roxanne wondered if she should be nervous. After all, she was within the blast radius should something blow up.

Meanwhile, Megamind was seething with rage. "I've had just about enough of you and your arrogance, Metro Man!"

"Look who's talking," his adversary smirked.

"You- That's IT!" He shouted. "Prepare yourself, Metro Man, for your defeat at my villainous hands!"

Megamind pressed a button, causing sparks to fly from the Tesla coils. Metro Man cursed himself for being so distracted by Megamind that he'd made no attempt to escape. The bars bent under his superhuman strength, but not quickly enough.

The sparks started to grow bigger and brighter. The coils suddenly flashed brightly, sending out a laser that scanned the room and its occupants. Then a series of blue beams shot out and hit the three humanoids present, ignoring Minion altogether.

Megamind's eyes shot wide open in panic as he realized something was going very, very wrong.

"No! Nonononono!" He cried, pressing the button several times desperately.

The light grew blinding, forcing them to shut their eyes against it. Hero, villain and captive alike felt a painful tingling sensation, and then nothing.