Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

A/N: I'm not happy with this chapter. I've been sitting on it for weeks in the vain hopes that I would be inspired to make it better, but alas, that has not happened. I hope at least some people will enjoy it.

Chapter 21

"Neji Hyuuga has been locked in the Hyuuga compound for two days. We haven't seen him at all, Lady Hokage," a girl with two buns of brown hair on either side of her head explained. "We're worried that he needs a doctor but is too proud to go to one."

Tsunade nodded. Ever since Hinata and Hiashi came in, the Hyuuga's have been acting strangely. Neji was not the only Hyuuga to give sick notice. 'Maybe Kushina will have answers for me,' the Hokage thought to herself.

"Lord Hyuuga accompanied his daughter, Hinata, on a pilgrimage several days ago. The very next day, several members of the Hyuuga clan fell ill," Tsunade replied. "The hospital and private doctors have not reported being summoned to the Hyuuga clan compound, so I'm almost certain that something fishy is going on."

The teen wearing green spandex with an absurd bowl-cut interrupted. "Lady Hokage! Please allow me to investigate the strange sickness surrounding the Hyuuga clan! My youth will destroy any un-youthful plague that is attacking my comrades!"

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Chunin Lee, but the matter is already being handled," Tsunade explained. "I dispatched a messenger and several medics to the Hyuuga compound this morning and expect them to return with a report soon. Rest assured that the situation is under control. You are dismissed."

—

"How DARE they question ME! I am the clan head! I will discipline any member of the clan as I see fit!" the temporary clan head raged. Neji was finally feeling better, but his balance was still shaky. Listening to the eleven-year-old girl rant about being in charge was making his head hurt. Not because she activated the seal again, but because her voice was whiney and squealed.

'I bet she could break glass if she shrieked loud enough…' he couldn't help thinking. "Lady Hyuuga," Neji attempted to interject.

"The sheer AUDACITY of those… those… those PEASANTS!" the girl with dark hair and pale eyes continued ranting.

The tantrum was taking place in an office with very little furniture styled in traditional Eastern motif. Neji sat respectfully on the floor, fully expecting the rant to continue if he didn't interrupt.

"Lady Hyuuga," Neji tried again, louder this time.

"Eh? What is it?" Hanabi impatiently looked at Neji, who was bowing.

"There are ANBU approaching the compound," Neji calmly explained. "One of them is Lady Fox."

"Just who is this Lady Fox that she's so important?" the soon-to-be teen demanded.

"Lady Fox is the head of ANBU, Lady Hyuuga," Neji informed. 'And you would do well to avoid her scrutiny, dumbass. But you'll find that out soon enough… Serves you right, too,' he thought.

"I am the clan head and I will NOT be interrupted. Make the old hag wait," Hanabi ordered as two female figures appeared in the dojo, wearing the signature black clothes, chest armor, and masks of ANBU.

The one with purple hair and a cat mask spoke first. "Lady Hyuuga, the Hokage requires your presence," she said, coldly.

"Tell the Hokage that I'll be with her shortly," Hanabi snapped.

The woman in the fox mask looked down at the clan head. "You have such pretty hair, Lady Hyuuga. Do you use any special products?"

'Damn… Lady Fox heard Lady Hyuuga,' Neji thought.

"I use only the finest hair-care products, as is befitting of a clan head, Fox," Hanabi responded, managing to look down her nose at the head of ANBU.

"I wonder why it's so dirty then," the redhead asked, tilting her head.

Hanabi spun to a mirror to verify that her hair was indeed covered in dirt. Neji's byakugan could see a clone tampering with the conditioner in Hanabi's bathroom, but he remained silent. He turned his eyes to meet Lady Fox's and winked at the woman.

"I will go to the Hokage as soon as I wash this filth from my hair," Hanabi responded, wondering how her hair was covered in dirt.

Once Hanabi left, Neji stumbled over to Fox and Cat. "Does the Hokage require my presence as well?" he asked as Cat steadied him.

Kushina thought for a moment, but quickly nodded. "Yes. You are a jonin-sensei and she needs to know what illness has kept you from your duties," she responded. "What illness could so egregiously affect your abilities?"

"I'm sure that some rest is all that I will need to recover," Neji responded. "Of course, if I wasn't weakened," Neji calmly explained, "I would know exactly what happened here. It's terrible that the acting clan head's bodyguard was unable to protect her from a prank."

—

The Hokage's office was mostly still. Tsunade clones were organizing the piles of paperwork into various categories, signing off on mission reports, and making mission assignments, while Tsunade and Kushina sat in chairs with a bottle of sake between them.

"Oh, Kushina… that's mean," Tsunade said through teary eyes. Her stomach still hurt from laughing so hard. "She's only twelve."

"She's eleven. And the little bitch needs to learn how to play with the Big Girls," Kushina said with a smile. "If she thinks she's special because she's acting clan head... Well, she isn't. And she needs to learn to respect other people."

"Still… Nair in her conditioner? With a genjutsu to make her believe that her hair was filthy?" Tsunade asked.

Kushina just smiled evilly. "It is a lesson that she won't soon forget. I could have just maimed her or killed her on the spot, you know."

"Stop acting crazy. You wouldn't hurt a child like that," Tsunade scolded.

Kushina's crazy-face faded to a light smile. "You're right, but don't tell her that. They'll be here shortly. I'll see you later, Lady Hokage," Kushina said, bowing and dispelling in a puff of smoke.

The knock at the door from Shizune alerted the Hokage to make a note of where each stack left off. Tsunade sighed, dispelling the clones. "Enter," she intoned.

Neji Hyuuga opened the door to the Hokage's office for a smaller Hyuuga wearing a bandana. "I wish to lodge a complaint against the ANBU known as Fox," the girl said as she entered.

"Oh?" Tsunade said, barely managing to contain a laughing fit. "What has the head of ANBU done?"

"She has assaulted my person," the indignant girl claimed.

"She assaulted you? Did anyone see this? Do you have any injuries?" Tsunade asked, feigning concern.

The girl stared at the Hokage and pulled off the bandana to reveal a completely bare skull. "She assaulted me and I wish to report her," Hanabi repeated.

"Lady Fox shaved your head?" Tsunade asked.

"She put Nair in my hair products!" Hanabi said with a huff. "I want her arrested and punished!"

"I'm sorry, but the village doesn't bend to your whim," Tsunade said in her Hokage voice. "If you wish to pursue this, then you should report the matter to ANBU or the Jonin Commander so that they can investigate. Otherwise, I have serious matters to discuss with you, Lady Hyuuga. I would like to know why most of your clan has been too ill to work."

Hanabi paled slightly. Neji stood quietly, like a good bodyguard, while his charge took the brunt of an angry Hokage yelling about manpower and fitness to lead. 'I miss Hinata and Lord Hyuuga,' he thought after only ten minutes.

—

The forest rocketed by the teenaged girl with short, dark hair, just long enough for a ponytail. The massive trees provided many launching points to keep the travel pace between a light jog and a ninja run. A man with similar features and longer hair labored to keep pace with the teen.

"How long has it been since you've been on a mission, Father?" Hinata asked as the pair travelled at a pace that would break a normal chunin.

Hiashi was huffing and puffing, but he refused to show any weakness. "A while," he responded tersely.

"Are you alright? It's almost dark and I'm going to have to take a bathroom break soon," Hinata asked, enjoying her father's anguish immensely. For years he had told her that she was weak, that she wasn't worthy of being the next clan head. She still loved her father, but after the years of being called weak, she couldn't help feeling a hint of joy as she outpaced him. The pair had been travelling for nearly eight hours without stopping.

Hiashi grunted, "Fine," before his breathing became heavy again.

'Her ANBU record was impressive,' the Hyuuga patriarch thought. 'Twenty-four assassinations, seven infiltrations, and even four seductions in just one year. My weak daughter; the disappointment; the failure in the Gentle Fist. Only a chunin they said. Neji is stronger they said. Even Hanabi is stronger they said. If only the elders knew… Maybe I should reinstate her as clan heir and retire.'

"How did you … so much stamina?" Hiashi huffed more than asked.

Hinata smiled kindly. "Kushina-sensei trains ANBU with great intensity. There are no exceptions."

"Are you … able to fight?" he asked, genuinely curious about his daughter's capabilities.

"I could, if necessary," she responded. "The minimum rank for joining ANBU is chunin, but most are about Jonin level by the time they finish the training program. Some opt to continue until they are S-ranked," she hinted.

Hiashi thought for a moment before responding. His aching lungs had nothing to do with it. Really. "How?" he finally asked.

"The same way that all training has been modified: judicious use of medical intervention," Hinata answered. "It's far easier to advance when no one worries about injuries. The program would not have worked even a few years ago, but Tsunade and Shizune have trained and implemented an unparalleled medical program. There are enough medics to heal the worst injuries and accelerate recovery times from training strain."

Hinata stopped and retrieved the map that the Hokage had given her. The Toads and the Slugs were on good terms and if the Slug Princess sent someone, then the Toads would at least be hospitable. Even at the inhuman pace Hinata was setting, it would still be almost two weeks before they would arrive at Mount Myoboku.

"I think I'll take that break now, Father. Feel free to rest and drink some water," Hinata said, looking at the nearby foliage.

—

Naruto sat in a pool of oil meditating. His eyes were shadowed with orange and oil fell on him without disturbing his apparent trance. The natural energy surrounding him was easy to feel after years of a similar meditation that Jiraiya had insisted he learn.

'Maybe this is why the old goat had me practice those stillness exercises,' he thought before the old toad with a goatee called out.

"Naruto! It's time to try without the training wheels. Get out of the oil pond," Fukasaku instructed.

Naruto stood, jumping to the edge of the pond. He felt stronger, somehow. Reinforced by the mixture of yin, yang, and natural energies he'd gathered within his body.

"You've done well, young Naruto. Now, you must learn to gather the sage chakra without the toad oil. And then I will teach you Toad Sage taijutsu," Fukasaku explained.

Naruto let the sage chakra dissipate before following the old toad through the strange forest to their next training spot. He knew that Jiraiya was a force to be reckoned with and that the sage arts were a major part in that. If he had any hope of defeating Akatsuki, he knew that what he learned with the Toads would be crucial.

—

Sasuke still had bandages around his head from his eye-replacement surgery. His bag was already packed and his mind was clear. He knew that his next mission might be his last with how ROOT had insisted he hurry.

"Sasuke, you are being unnecessarily cold to the howler-monkey," Itachi commented.

"You call her a howler-monkey, brother. Why do you care how I treat her?" Sasuke responded.

"Fine. You are being unnecessarily cold to Sakura," Itachi retorted. "What happened to make you treat her like that?"

Sasuke sat at the table, trying not to scratch his itching eyes, but lifting the bandage that covered his eyes. "She's like tsukuyomi," he simply said, staring directly into Itachi's eyes with his own sharingan spinning.

Itachi sighed, removing the glasses he now wore, and activated the prized genjutsu. The two were in a world that Itachi hadn't used to just talk since before he killed Shisui. "What was so important that we had to discuss it in the most powerful genjutsu I can use?"

Sasuke responded by opening his mouth and lifting his tongue to expose a seal similar to the one Itachi bore. "Oh," Itachi said, ending the genjutsu prematurely.

"Just because I think she's like a torture genjutsu, doesn't mean that she's a bad person," Itachi replied, covering for his brother. 'When I break this seal, I'm going to unmake Danzo,' he calmly thought.

"I have to go on a mission. Perhaps we could train later?" Sasuke said as he picked up his bag and went to the door.

"Of course," Itachi answered, adding, "Go easy on those eyes. The sharingan does not come naturally to them and I don't want them to fail you in the middle of a mission."

—

Shikamaru fidgeted under the glare of the Hokage and the head of ANBU.

"I'm not letting Naruto marry your girlfriend just so that she can stay here," Kushina said sternly. "So you'd better hope that the Sand elders bite off on this little exchange program you've cooked up."

Shikamaru nodded silently.

"Did Naruto tell you about the Akatsuki problem?" Tsunade asked, angry at having to deal with a potential international incident.

"I should have been told sooner," Shikamaru answered.

"You shouldn't have been told at all," Tsunade replied angrily.

Shikamaru looked at Kushina who stared at him with intensity that he'd only seen in Naruto's eyes. "It would have changed my answer to joining ANBU last year," Shikamaru retorted, slightly irritated.

"But you turned me down last year and now we need to train your body to the point where you can keep up without raising suspicion," Kushina said aloud, while secretly signing, 'I told you so,' to Tsunade.

"I can get you Sakura for four hours every night, but you can't tell her what any of this is about," the Hokage compromised. "She is not to know that you are training to fight S-ranked opponents. Is that clear?"

Shikamaru nodded. "I was talking to Uzumaki," Tsunade said as she continued staring at Kushina.

"Yes, Lady Hokage. Sakura is not to know about Akatsuki," Kushina replied, turning to Shikamaru. "I am preparing you for the jonin test, as far as anyone else is concerned. And you will get your father to teach you clan techniques. If he gives you any trouble, blackmail him. If you don't have anything, I've got a few things that could convince him, but Shikaku will probably figure out what we're up to."

Shikamaru sighed, muttering, "Troublesome."

"Don't worry about that," Tsunade interrupted. "I told Shikaku about Akatsuki when the mission to save Gaara failed."

Kushina smiled evilly at Shikamaru. "In that case, just tell him that I'm asking him to train you and that if I'm happy with how you progress, we're even for Minato's bachelor party," she said with crazy eyes. "Tell him that if I'm not happy, I'm telling your mother about it."

Shikamaru sighed again, muttering, "Really troublesome," before he turned and left the office. He was smart enough to know when he'd been dismissed without anyone actually saying the word.

—

Naruto stood in front of a table opposite the massive bars that locked the nine-tailed fox away. Two clawed fingers protruded from the cage holding what appeared to be a miniscule, wooden brick. The tower of wooden bricks began to wobble and then fell with a clatter.

"Ha! I win, Kurama!" Naruto exclaimed.

The nine-tailed fox roared, shaking the bars and rattling the table, including the collapsed pile of Jenga bricks. Red water bubbled through the bars, lifting Naruto up and knocking over the table and game.

"Oi! Stop that!" Naruto shouted. "Don't be a sore loser!"

The kyuubi roared again, but the red water receded. "That game isn't fair! You have tiny little hands and I have giant claws!" the great beast raged.

"You said you wanted to play something new and this is the only game I could think of," Naruto said as the last of the red water receded back behind the bars.

The massive fox growled. "Whatever. That game is stupid," Kurama muttered before curling up. "You're not even here to see me, so just do it already."

Naruto sighed. 'I've been putting this off for far too long,' he thought. 'And now that I'm practiced at changing chakra modulation, I really have no excuse.'

He floated up to the center of the cage, where a paper with the word "seal" was stuck over what must have been a lock. He lifted his hand to the edge of the paper before yelling, "I know you're in here, Fourth Hokage! I know you set this failsafe, Minato Namikaze! If I have to break the seal to get you to show yourself, I will! Now… SHOW YOURSELF!"

A blonde man in his twenties appeared next to Naruto next to the seal with a stern yet confused look on his face, quickly grabbing the teen's hand and moving it away from the seal. "I thought you'd grown out of temper-tantrums," the man said kindly.

"I needed to get you out of the seal in order to talk and I had no intention of waiting until a problem with the seal came up," Naruto replied with a smile. "Besides," Naruto said as a tendril of energy leapt from Naruto to the older man, changing from blue to blue-green as it travelled from Naruto to Minato, "you won't run out of chakra, so we can have a long conversation and you can teach me everything you know."