A/N: So, okay. This is my very first 'Sherlock' fic. I've grown obsessed with the series lately and just couldn't resist. (smirks sheepishly)

WARNINGS: POTENTIAL SLASH. (Although I doubt there'll be any kissing and stuff involved. So nothing hard and heavy.) Language. Violence. Torture. Eh… Anybody out there anymore?

DISCLAIMER: Nope, I don't make a dime out of this. Or less. Just someone who borrows these characters to treat a nasty case of obsession.

Alright… (gulps) This is always a extremely nerve wrecking part, so I'll get to it before I chicken out. I really hope that you'll enjoy the ride!

The Five Steps

Denial

Sherlock Holmes opened his eyes. Quite easily too, he observed, especially for a dead man. He opened his eyes, and woke up to a headache. And although a year and two months had passed he glanced towards the other side of the tiny room, only to come to the disheartening conclusion that he was alone.

He really should've grown used to feeling lonely by now.

He took a deep breath, then pushed himself to a sitting position and out of the bed. Started the day just like he'd started every single one since his death. He rinsed the night's bitter taste from his mouth with a sickeningly strong drink, then sat down and took a piece of paper. Today starting his daily letter felt harder than usual.

'Dear John,

I had that same dream again last night. You're right there, only steps away from me, walking away. I try to call out your name but you can't hear me. I keep calling out to you, until a dark tunnel appears and you walk right in. I try to follow you but I can't. You're gone and I didn't even get to see your face.

If you were here I'm sure that you'd be able to explain that dream to me.

Just so you know, hurting you is the only thing I regret. But I'd die a thousand times more to make sure that you're still in this world. Because this world is a better place with you in it, John.'

Sherlock took a deep breath, fought for a moment the keep the emotions that wanted to burst under control. Too many feelings he wasn't used to. It appeared that he was running out of things to say – each letter was shorter than the last. He swallowed thickly, unable to erase the lump that'd taken a permanent residence in his throat, then finished the letter like all the previous ones.

'As soon as he's been taken care of I'll come home, I promise. I hope that you're waiting for me. I miss you.

S.H.'

Sherlock stared at the written words with a degree of bitter amusement. He really should've told John all those things from his letters when he still could, because even if he'd ever actually manage to go back he already knew that he'd never get them choked out. And John would never, ever find any of his letters. He'd make sure of that.

Sighing heavily he hauled himself up and walked to a tightly locked chest on the other side of the room. The small, gold colored key was hanging from his neck in a chain, so that it rested on top of his heart at all times. The lock opened with a moan of protest, revealing a rather impressive collection of more or less neatly folded letters. One for each day since he'd been torn away from the world he knew.

'To Dr. John Watson', had been written to the back of every single one of them.

His facial muscles and aching chest painfully tight, Sherlock dropped the newest scribble amongst them and locked them away. It took a couple of seconds before he managed to hide away the key and step away, turn his back. Before he managed to distance himself from the longing.

His lethal chess game with Moriarty was already almost over. He wished that he would've been able to tell John that. In his own, sneaky manner Sherlock had helped the police bring down most of the criminal mastermind's trusted men. It was only a matter of time before he'd get to pull down the man himself. Before he'd finally get to go back home.

Only that fool's hope kept Sherlock from screaming until there was no breath left in him.

"I'm coming back home", he swore to the chest and the key. Somehow that pledge eased the hurt, just a little bit, although his eyes didn't feel entirely dry. "You asked for a miracle, remember? I hope that you're prepared for one."

The next time Sherlock woke up it wasn't morning. This time the usual dream was cut short, so that his own, heart wrenching scream was left echoing into his buzzing skull. His eyes flew open to the sound of a brief yet firm knock.

Sherlock was not expecting company. That's why he was hasty to grab a gun before slipping soundlessly out of the bed and making his way to the apartment's door. He took a quick peek, only to meet nothing but a dark hallway. He frowned, not trusting the empty walls, and slid the door open. Still no one. But the hallway wasn't empty, either.

There, almost directly at his feet, was a smallish, neatly wrapped gift. There was no name, no explanations. Of course he knew that it was dangerous and insane to take the item inside. But Sherlock had never been one to back down in front of some danger.

As he retreated into the apartment and began to unwrap the mysterious item he soon wished that he'd backed out, though.

The first thing he saw made his blood run cold. It was a scarf, one he remembered extremely well. Completely stained in blood.

"John…!"

And there, resting right next to the scarf, was a sickeningly neatly cut off finger. Accompanied by a note that made everything spin in Sherlock's line of vision while his heart skipped a couple of valuable beats. Right there, in the pale, hollow light of a dawning day, the bottom dropped from his world.

'You really shouldn't have broken the rules. Did you honestly think that I wouldn't find out? That you wouldn't be punished?

One of you will die. It looks like you've made your decision.

Hurry up and you may get here before he's gone.

M'

TBC OR NOT?

A/N: So… Uh huh. It looks like things are going to be messy, now. (winces)

So… Was that any good, at all, to you? Or should I press 'delete' and pretend that this never existed? PLEASE, leave a review to let me know! It'd mean the world to me.

In any case, thank you so much for reading!

Take care!