Day One:

Dear Diary,

You know what can really tick a monster off? Being mistaken for a GIRL. Ok, its not Dah-lor-ee-ah, it's Day-lee-or-ah. Seriously.

So I was just walking down the street, and this guy starts trying to hit on me! So I glare at him, and I said, "Dude! Like, find someone else to pick up! Preferably a girl next time!"

At Least that's what I thought I said. I think I accidently said, "ROOOOAR!"

And I may have accidently also caused a very small tornado. Oops. There goes his wig. He should really consider trying Bosely.

I eventually arrive at the E.V.I.L (Essential Vital Ingredients for Life) Supermarket and begin looking for what I came for. What did I come for? Well I was watching T.V. yesterday, and a commercial for a new brand of cereal came on.

"Are you tired of people laughing when they see you? Or do you feel like you're not scary enough? Well then here's your solution! Monster Munchies! The nutritious breakfast for any demon! Try them now! Side effects may include nausea, new limbs, 99 polka dots, and some other things that would probably scare you off if we warned you about them!"

Well that was enough to convince me. After all, if I get more terrifying, no one will mistake me for a girl!

So I walk/stomp through the aisles, and spot it on a shelf next to the Earth Quaker Oats, Fearios, and my personal favorite, Brute Loops.

"$7.99?!" I shake my head at the prices, accidently taking out some of the overhead lamps. Stupid inflation these days...

I grab the box and head over to the checkout counter to pay. The lady there smiles nervously and asks for my MonsterCard. I hand it over grudgingly. Don't you think that the I.D. photography people should at least count to three before taking your picture? I feel like they caught my bad side.

The woman rings me up, and asks,"S-so how are you doing today, ma'am?"

I just sigh. Do I really look that much like a girl?

The woman, or as her "Hi! My name is_!" employee tag says, Deborah, asks, " Paper or plastic?"

You see, I'm real big on recycling, you know? Giving back to the community and all that. And so I open my mouth to ask for paper when I accidently Godzilla-sneeze in her face. "RAAAACHOOO!"

The woman runs out the door screaming. Huh. Maybe I got some snot on her or something. Oh well. I leave some money on the counter and stomp out the door. Er... what's left of the door. I kinda smashed that when I was coming in.

When I get home, I tear open the box eagerly, and gulp it all down. Hmmm.. not bad. Pretty satisfying. But then I suddenly gasp, and stare at the empty carton.

" ROOOAR?!" ( Translates: "WHERE"S MY PRIZE?!" )

-Deliora

Well thats all for now! Hope you enjoyed!

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