Author's Note: I've gotten weirdly attached to this pairing and I don't know why. somebody help me before i hurt someone with nonsensical ships.

Disclaimer: The Long Walk belongs to Stephen King.

Hank Olson didn't know much at the moment, he just knew that he was raring to rip, in the brilliant words of The Major.

Honestly, he'd never felt better. He could just keep on walking like this forever-he knew he'd outlast people like Rank, and Garraty and McVries, who he was beginning to think were queer for each other-but he honestly felt at this moment like he would win. This would be easy, most of the the others would drop out early, and he'd be the only one left.

One might have considered him cocky, but in all honesty, he didn't give a fuck. This was his year, he'd been doing well in school, had almost gotten a girlfriend, and his parents were finally proud of him. His life was all together, and this would be the one puzzle piece in the equation that just made it all complete.

He just had to win.

A sweaty, blonde boy was yelling about the sun, and Stebbins, the weird one, was eating his sandwich. Olson was pretty sure he could tell who'd be rooted out first. there were the total burnouts like Zuck, and then there were the ones who'd take a bit longer and slowly fizzle out like a deranged child's firecracker.

"Hey. You seem thoughtful." A deep voice came from behind Olson.

Who the hell describes people as thoughtful? "Um. Yeah, sure, I'm real thoughtful."

The voice belonged to a large boy with sandy blonde hair who seemed to be sweating way more than everyone else. He'd probably go out pretty quickly, Olson thought. "Who're you anyways?"

"Scramm." He said it like his name was the most powerful, important thing one could ever hear.

"I'm Hank Olson," Olson said, making sure to grin as he said it.

Scramm looked fairly dumb, but probably strong. Although he really was sweating a lot. "How are you?"

"Raring to rip, according to The Major."

"Oh, yeah, you were the one he talked to, right?" Scramm, weirdly enough, didn't seem jealous. This frustrated Olson a bit, he wanted them to be jealous. Jealous people burn out quicker. Everyone knew it.

"Yeah. He told me to give 'em hell. And I'm going to do what he said, because you know you've got to be pretty damn special if The Major talks to you."

Scramm seemed to look a great deal more thoughtful than Olson supposedly had. "What if he was just messing with you, you know?"

Olson glared at the taller boy. "He wouldn't."

Scramm smiled an overconfident smile. "Well, I don't need The Major to win."

"Oh, sure you don't."

"No, I don't. Because I've got a wife."

Olson raised his eyebrows. "What kind of a fucker would marry someone with a face likes yours?"

Scramm folded his arms and appeared to pout. "Cathy says I've got a lovely face."

Olson laughed. Scramm's face was nice enough, for a seventeen year old boy's. He had a nice complexion and his eyes were a nice color. But then again, Olson had never been a great judge of what was attractive and what wasn't. "S'that your wife? Cathy?"

"Yeah. Cathy's a real peach."

"What does that even mean?"

"She's totally gorgeous." Scramm got a dumb look in his eyes that Olson had seen in one of his friends after he'd gotten a girlfriend. "She's great. I bet you'd all like her. She's a peach."

Olson rolled his eyes. "You said. But why's she the reason you think you'll win?"

"I want to see her again after this. Wouldn't you, if you had a wife?"

Olson considered it. "But I don't have a wife."

Scramm grinned. "No wonder."

He was about to say something about how he didn't want one either, but then he realized that Scramm had just insulted him. "Hey! I'm not that fucking unattractive."

"Never said you were."

"I haven't got a wife, but I have The Major."

"You married to The Major?"

Olson glared at the boy walking next to him. "You're an asshole." Scramm looked slightly hurt, and looked away. "Hey, I didn't mean that."

"I didn't think you did." Scramm flushed slightly. "You're an asshole, too."

"Thanks." Olson wasn't sure what to say to that, so 'thanks' was the closest thing to a snarky reply that he could come up with. "But I'm a winning asshole."

"I don't think so," Scramm said it almost teasingly, and somehow that really got under Olson's skin.

Olson snorted. "Oh, yeah, I'll surely win against you. I bet you don't even have the guts to kiss a girl." The other Walkers were beginning to look at them strangely.

"I do too! I've got a wife!" Scramm continued to sound like a pouty kid.

"Yeah? I bet you're lying! How about you prove it?" He wasn't sure what that implied, but it sounded manly and badass enough.

Scramm blushed a dark red and said loudly, "Okay, if you say so…" And with that, he grabbed Olson by the shoulders and kissed him.

Olson made a loud 'mmph!' and squirmed in Scramm's grip, but eventually relaxed. Scramm actually could kiss a girl pretty well. Or a boy, for that matter. Huh. He was kissing a boy. Maybe it wasn't Garraty and McVries who were queer for each other after all.

Meanwhile, on the edge of the road, a group of soldiers stared somewhat dumbfoundedly. After a few minutes of silence, one of them asked, "Should we give a warning?" He was a short, blonde soldier who had very little experience in this field.

"Of course we..." One of his companions trailed off. "Did it say something about this in the handbook?"

"Probably not."

The blonde soldier chimed in, "Well, they're walking again, so no worries."

His peers glared at him. "You really do have a lot to learn."

Scramm waved cheerily at the soldiers from the road. The blonde soldier waved back and a group of glares immediately fell on him.

One of the other soldiers yelled out, "Warning! Warning 70!" Just for good measure.

"What the fuck did you just do?" Olson looked at Scramm, trying to be angry but failing miserably.

"I don't know." Scramm's cheeks were scarlet. "I have a wife." He seemed to be failing just as miserably as Olson was failing at being angry to look ashamed.

Olson laughed nervously and looked around at the other Walkers. Surprisingly, none of them had commented on what had just happened, though Stebbins appeared to be giggling quietly. "I have no idea what the fuck just happened." He then said in a slightly lower voice, "But I liked it, if you really want to know."

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me too, olson. me too.