Rocket's Red Glare, a hetalia - axis powers fanfic

Rocket's Red Glare

By: TG

Summary: America is very proud of his space race win and wants to show off his…er…prize.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

Warnings: This is a crackfic. It involves tattoos and penises and you should probably turn back now while you have the chance.

AN: Yeah…this is the result of a discussion with one of my friends in a coffee shop.

The date was July 25th, 1969 and Alfred would not shut up.

Before the world meeting he talked about nothing but his recent victory in the space race. As he and Arthur brushed their teeth, Alfred garbled on about Neil Armstrong being his new hero, flecks of toothpaste hitting the mirror in front of him. As they got dressed in their hotel room together, Alfred informed Arthur that this had been the best week of his life –

("Alfred…"

"Ah, that's not to say… Uh… No, of course the day we first confessed our love is better! I didn't mean it, sweetheart!")

-And as they walked through the halls of the world meeting building, Alfred babbled on about the genius of his people, figuring out how to build the Saturn V rockets that launched his men to the moon.

Luckily at the world meeting he was forced to stop talking, but just because he wasn't talking with his voice didn't mean he wasn't getting the message out. His body language said it all –the smug smirk, the satisfied posture as he leaned back in his seat, the self-righteous, arrogant glint to his eyes as he patiently watched everyone present their topics.

The break for lunch provided a small respite from Alfred's enthusiasm. The git was too busy stuffing his face with grease and cheese to ramble about his space program and Arthur could feel the tension in the air relax slightly. Even so, as he was the only one sitting next to the idiot, he was obviously the only one who could literally feel Alfred vibrating from excitement.

Getting fed up, Arthur slammed his palm down onto Alfred's jiggling leg and hissed, "Would you just calm down already!"

"Wha -?" Alfred chewed and swallowed. "But I got somethin' to show you and I'm real excited! Can we do it now?"

"…If you're excited why didn't you ask to show me earlier?"

"It was a surprise! …And I was hungry…"

"Tch. Figures. Well it's too late now, meeting's going to start in a minute."

Arthur ignored Alfred's pout, but was infinitely thankful when Alfred remained calm and slightly more subdued (but still pretty smug, of course) once the meeting started up again. Arthur felt he could finally relax, now that the glares of his fellow nations were no longer boring into his skull; he was especially glad to be relieved of Russia's and China's hard gazes.

Peace at last. Even if it was only temporary.

But luckily it wasn't. Alfred remained calm(-ish) throughout the rest of the meeting and all the way to the hotel.

"I'm sorry," the American muttered as they were hanging up their suits. "I know I kinda embarrassed you today. I guess I'm just so excited, yanno? It's not often ya get someone on the freakin' moon."

Arthur sighed and paused in hanging up his shirt. As annoyed as he was at Alfred for his nonstop chatter and attitude, he knew he was just excited. "It's okay, Alfred."

Alfred grinned his megawatt smile and hugged him tight. "I love you, Artie."

"I love you too, twat. Oh, what did you want to show me?"

"Oh yeah, that's right! Look what I did yesterday!" Alfred exclaimed, eyes shining in excitement. To Arthur's horror, Alfred dropped his trousers and boxers to reveal…

"What the fuck is that."

"It's my penis! I tattooed it to look like a space shuttle taking off! See, my balls are the smoke!"

"…"

"…Don't you like it?"

"Dear sweet Jesus just put your pants back on."

Omake

Arthur moaned and wrapped his legs around Alfred's hips to encourage him to move faster. He was so close, so close –

"Aaaaaaand blast off!"

"Oh god I am so done with you."

AN: Apollo 11 launched from Kennedy Space Center in Florida (which I've visited) on July 16, 1969. The Saturn V rocket landed on the moon on the 20th, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon's surface on the 21st, and came back to Earth on the 24th.

I am so sorry. PS please follow me at trumpet-geek. tumblr. com!