If nothing else, I know what my audience likes. Le sigh. They're depraved, even if they do get shit done.

SPECIAL BONUS FEATURE:

DELETED SCENE FROM END OF EPILOGUE!

Bobby (looking around): Are we on a pirate ship? And what the hell are you two idjits covered in?

Sam and Dean: Aaaaaaaargh!

Bobby: It looks like strawberry jello.

Sam and Dean: Aaaaaaaaaargh!

Bobby: Is there a reason you're playing pirate dress-ups? Never thought of you as a ruffles guy, Sam...

Sam (pouting): Stupid shirt - somebody's pulled the top buttons off it so I can't do it up properly. AND the ruffles are gunked up with jello.

Dean: Don't you complain to me about missing buttons - what sort of a dick wears a vest without a shirt? I look like an extra from a Village People tribute band! The hat is cool, though.

Bobby: Real helpful. If I didn't know better, I'd think there was a fickriter hereabouts. He looks around, then approaches a woman dressed as a pirate who is nibbling on the anchor, and taps her on the shoulder. Er, excuse me, who are you?

Denizens swarm down from the rigging, emerge from below decks, swing down on ropes, etc. They assemble and sing their jingle.

Denizen Pirates: We call ourselves the Denizens, we'd like to say hello,
We'll help you if your Winchesters have been dropped in jello,
We're DDD&SSS, the Jimiverse's crew,
We're right here and we're ready and we'll clean them up for you!

Bobby: Wonderful! I can't let 'em back indoors like that, so have at 'em, ladies.

Sam and Dean: Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

The Denizens grab the Winchesters, and haul them to stand before the quarterdeck, where another woman is on hands and knees and licking the deck.

Sam: This is terrible! We're in the hands of ruthless Denizen pirates, who are torturing that poor woman by making her swab the deck with her tongue!

Bosun Blue Orleans: In fact, that's the Captain of the Jimiverse, and the quarterdeck is timbered with TimTam cookies. She does that a lot.

Darla M: Cap'n, look what we found!

Lampito: Not interested, licking deck.

Darla M: We caught them in the net trap.

Lampito: Doesn't matter, licking deck.

Darla M: You know, the one set to catch anybody who tried to take your Bundaberg rum?

Lampito: Waaaaaaah! She bursts into tears, stomps down to the deck, and snatches the bottle back from Dean. Give it meeeeee!

LeighAnnWallace: So, what should we do with them?

Georgia: Maybe we should consult... the Suggestion Box!

Denizens (waving Nerf swords, pistols, and a couple of rubber chickens): The Suggestion Box! The Suggestion Box! Let's consult the Suggestion Box!

LeighAnnWallace: Ladies, to the Suggestion Box!

They swarm to the main mast, where a small red wooden box marked SUGGESTION BOX in gold lettering is secured.

Architaannie: Call the Officer of the Suggestion Box!

Denizens: Call the Officer of the Suggestion Box! Call the Officer of the Suggestion Box! Call the Officer etc. etc. etc.

The Officer of the Suggestion Box comes hurrying up, putting on her hat of office. It has plastic fruit on it.

Leahelisabeth: Aye Cap'n?

Lampito: These appalling Winchester persons have been found attempting to steal my rum, yessssss they were, nasty little thiefssssss... my Precioussssss...

BranchSuper: We need to consult the Suggestion Box as to what we should do with them.

Leahelisabeth: Well, all right. She unlocks suggestion box, and pulls out a piece of paper. Ahem. 'Throw Dean overboard for being naughty, and leave Leahelisabeth to deal with Sam for being naughty.'

Denizens: Boooooriiiing! Try another one!

O.o.t.S.B. takes out another suggestion.

Leahelisabeth: 'Throw Dean in the brig for being naughty, and leave Leahelisabeth to deal with Sam for being naughty.'

Sam: I'm noticing a disturbing pattern here.

O.o.t.S.B. takes out another suggestion.

Leahelisabeth: 'Make Dean sit in the corner for being naughty, and leave Leahelisabeth to deal with Sam for being naughty.'

Another Denizen snatches the piece of paper from the O.o.t.S.B.

Suze1383: Hey! It's blank! You've been making these up as you go! She waves her Nerf pistol menacingly

Dean: Leave Sam to deal with Leahelisabeth for being naughty!

Sam: WHAT?

Dean: You need to get naughty, Sam.

Lampito: Call the Second In Command of the Suggestion Box!

Denizens: Call the Second In Command of the Suggestion Box! Call the Second In Command of the Suggestion Box! Call blah blah blah..

S.I.C.o.t.S.B. rushes up.

Suze1383: We need to know what to do with the Winchesters. And the Officer In Charge of the Suggestion Box.

Captainbartholomew: Right, then. Takes out a suggestion. 'Throw the Officer In Charge of the Suggestion Box overboard, but first give her hat to the Second In Command of the Suggestion Box and make her Permanent Life Member Total Boss of the Suggestion Box.'

Sam: Oh, that's ridiculous! He snatches the paper from her. Aha! This is blank too! You shameless corporate climber! None of you can be trusted! You are remorselessly depraved Denizen pirates. He takes out a suggestion. 'Let the Winchesters go, take the actual dog collar off Sam, and give Dean the bottle of rum to keep him quiet until we get back to Bobby's'.

Denizens: Boo! Hiss! Rigged! Shame shame shame, etc.

Crowley (pushing through the crowd): Oh, really, children, how difficult can this be? Takes out a piece of paper. 'Tie them to the mast for a tongue lashing'.

Dean: That doesn't sound so bad – we've been yelled at by Bobby, so that's not very scary.

Crowley: They have no intention of shouting at you, dear boy...

Dean and Sam: Aaaaaaaaaargh!

Crowley: Something else, then... here we are, 'Make them fight each other: two go into the jello pool, and one comes out...'

Dean and Sam: Aaaaaaaaaargh!

Crowley: '...Then we drag the other one out too, and get the whipped cream, and...' I feel I should just check at this point, is there any member of the crew who suffers from any form of dairy intolerance?

Dean and Sam: Aaaaaaaaaargh!

Crowley: Let me see... 'Hang them in chains...'

Dean and Sam: Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Crowley: '... from the nearest four poster bed..."

Dean and Sam: AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Crowley: '...And...' He blinks in bewilderment. Goodness me, I will require written confirmation that EVERY SINGLE MEMBER of this crew is over 18 before I go any further with this one...

Maybe-moey edges surreptitiously behind a pile of barrels

Dean and Sam: AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Crowley: Very well. Oh, here's a good one: 'Stab them until they die, then confess to Bobby and make sure he understands that Crowley had nothing to do with it'...

Anj Emm (elbowing him aside): Well, that's not going to happen. Takes out a suggestion. Ahem. 'Drag Crowley back to our cabin, and draw him like one of our French girls.'

Darla M, Hesta-Cheryl: Yaaaaaaaay!

They hustle a protesting Crowley away below deck.

Crowley: Aaaaaaaaaaaargh this suit cashmere you rampaging viragos!

Dean: Quick! Now's our chance!

Dean and Sam leap overboard.

*splash* *splash*

They reappear, treading...

Sam: Cider? Are we swimming in apple cider?

Dean (paddling in a small circle and spitting out a mouthful): Sonofabitch! It's not even alcoholic!

KnightJelly: What are you doing?-! These are nun-infested ciders we are navigating!

Dean and Sam: Aaaaaaaaaargh!

A cargo net is thrown over the side. The Denizen pirates swarm down it, pull the Winchesters out of the cider, and pull them back up onto the deck.

KnightJelly: Oh, now look, they're all wet.

Elfinblue: I'm looking, I'm looking.

Maybe-moey: Me too.

Ccase: Me three.

Missingmikey: Oh no! Was that a shiver?

Sam: Well, only at the thought of man-eating nuns.

Dean: And the thought of a complete lack of alcohol content in the cider.

Elfinblue: The poor boys clearly have hypothermia!

Dean and Sam: No we don't!

Elfinblue: Yes, you do. And the best treatment for hypothermia is...

Avalonemyst: Body heat!

Ccase: The custard tub!

Denizens: Body heat in the custard tub!

Dean and Sam: No it isn't!

Captainbartholomew: Yes, it is. And you should get out of those wet clothes.

Dean and Sam: No we shouldn't!

Denizens: Yes, you should! They brandish Nerf weapons, and a couple of bottles of DairyWhip

Dean and Sam: Aaaaaaaargh!

The Denizen pirates swarm around the Winchesters, and hustle them off in the direction of the custard tub.

Lampito: Well, I have my rum back, at least. Boatswain, have Mister Singer washed and brought to my cabin... Bosun? Mr Singer?

In the Petty Officers' Mess

Bosun TBO: I brought cards. You want coffee?

Bobby: Yeah thanks. Are you sure she won't come down here?

Bosun TBO: No, we brew coffee here, and she can't stand the smell. Give it five minutes, and if she can't find you, she'll go back to licking the deck.

From overhead, cheerful slurping as might be associated with licking and happy little noises of female contentment are just audible.

Bobby (looking up): She's a woman who enjoys her chocolate cookies.

Bosun TBO: Er, actually, we're right under the custard tub here. Try not to think about it.

Muffled thumping from other side of the bulkhead

Crowley (muffled): Bobby! Bobby! Is that you, love? Bobby, in the name of mercy, summon me...haaaaaalp! OoooooOOOOOoooooh, madam, your hands are cold...

Muffled giggling is heard

FIN

That's it until next the plot bunnies bite, so tata until then...