This something that just randomly sprung to mind x I was thinking about Tony's PTSD and then I started thinking how people have used water and caves and Yinsen x But when I watched the movie again I couldn't help but think of the kid Jimmy and what with Tony's past as a playboy, I thought it was a story in the making x Please read and review xx

The Avengers had become accustomed to holding press conferences. Usually these were after battles, trying to raise money for rebuilding and reassure the public that both the threat was gone and the Avengers were not another potential threat. Some of the time the conferences were based on particular Avengers - mainly Steve and Tony, as the most public figures.

This time it's specifically for Tony, even though all the other Avengers are there, and they've moved onto Tony's personal relationships, after a good hour on Tony's childhood (which had been extremely uncomfortable for the good Captain) and his work as Iron Man; skilfully avoiding the weapons manufacturing.

Tony is extremely used to this kind of thing, and is even better at pretending. He knows exactly what these people want from him and how to give it to them.
In this case they want details. Half the public can't believe he's in a stable relationship with anyone, never mind Pepper Potts - not even Tony himself. Bruce hears "How long have you and Pepper Potts been in a relationship?" and "How does Miss Potts take your position as Iron Man? Is she supportive?"

They're asking about his love life and then about his past as a playboy ("Is it true you...") and it's all sly winks and flirtatious smiles and the rest of the Avengers think they'll be at home in time for lunch. Maybe they could stop off for shawarma - or at least that's what Tony is tapping out in Morse code on his trouser leg in his boredom. Steve wonders where Tony learnt Morse code, and why.

And then a pretty young blond reporter asks, "Was it true that a few years ago you went twelve for twelve with the Maxim cover models?"

Tony, who had been reaching for a glass of water, stills for a moment before continuing fluidly with the motion, his hand trembling. The other hand freezes half way through good and doesn't finish the sentence.

"Of sorts."

You can tell she wants to ask another question but the Avengers have never seen Tony look like that before and quickly intercede to deflect. It works and Tony is wrapping up the very last few questions within another ten minutes.

The interview finally concludes and Tony marches straight out of the room without looking back, merely a blur in the sky by the time the rest of the team reach the roof.

Tony locks himself in his workshop. That question has brought back a torrent of memories he'd strived to forget - ones better left forgotten. He tries to bury them back under the surface, but it's like an itch, getting more and more persistent.

Jimmy had asked him that. Or at least he thought it was Jimmy and he hates himself for only thinking it, and hates himself again, only a little less for not having the courage to find out for definite.

That was the day he'd found out what he was capable of. The destruction that had already been caused at his hands.

Iron Man had been born that day, whether the suit had been built or not.

The reporter asks the question again inside his head, only it's louder, so this time he reaches for the whiskey to drown it out. He won't get drunk - that's disrespectful - but he needs to take the edge off reality because it's crushing him.

He also knows that the Avengers will have questions and he isn't sure how to answer them yet.

But he doesn't want to think about that now, he doesn't want to think of Jimmy's smile and the two cameras, one from a young soldier, the other from a terrorist group. He can't think about their bodies, the blood.

Instead he opens the whiskey.

When the Avengers get back to Stark Tower it seems empty. At first they think that Tony has gone elsewhere to deal with whatever it is that's been troubling him since the blonde reporter but Bruce asks JARVIS who tells them Tony has put the lab on lockdown. Bruce bites his lip, knowing what it means but unsure in this context.

Steve glances at the scientist worriedly. "Do you think he'll be alright."

Bruce doesn't know. "JARVIS?"

"Sir should be fine. I will alert you of there is any danger of this changing."

"Thanks JARVIS," Clint says. JARVIS doesn't reply.

They don't know what to do. They can't get Tony out of his lab - not yet - but they don't know what's bothering him either. It's lucky though - the team barely have time to sit down before Tony walks up the stairs, glass in his hand, bottle in the other. The look of surprise on his face tells them that JARVIS hadn't warned him they were back yet.

"Back already?" Tony asks, hoisting a convincing smirk on his face were it not for the dark edge in his eyes. "I thought you'd at least stop off for shawarma."

"That's more your thing," Clint tells him.

"Shame, it's nice as well." Tony's smirk is just a tad too feral.

Bruce peers at the other scientist in concern, tracking the shaking hands and dark eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Never better," he replies as he takes a gulp out of the glass in his hand. Bruce thinks it looks like whiskey.

"You look unwell, my friend," Thor booms.

Tony waves a hand. "I'm fine."

They all sense that he won't speak about it and so decide to drop the subject. Clint bounces onto the sofa and flicks on the TV - with the remote, for once, rather than asking JARVIS - asking if any of them would like to watch anything in particular.

None of them know. All of them wonder - what affects Tony, who can shrug off three broken ribs and a fractured hip like they're nothing, so badly? They all want to ask.

But Tony already knows that some questions are never meant to be answered.