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Story: [Negima Disgaea]

Summary: Demons come from the Netherworld, demons attacked Negi's village. Saved by his father or not, obviously Negi would look into it. Unfortunately, he was always a very reckless kid.

Crossover: (Mahou Sensei Negima) / (Disgaea)

Genre: Humor

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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Negi could trace back a lot of things in his life to a single childish leap of logic.

In the wake of the attack of the demons, and his father appearing out of nowhere to save the day, Negi came to a conclusion. The demons had come from nowhere, his father had appeared out of nowhere, it stood to reason that – even if it was a false lead – it would be worth investigating where exactly the demons had come from.

Now, obviously that meant that Negi – being the enterprising and hopelessly reckless child that he'd been at the time – needed to find more demons. Proving his future self wrong on some minor parts about how reckless he was in going about doing so, was easily compensated by not actually understanding the safety-measures he tried to implement.

Thus, about six months after his father had rescued his life, Negi summoned a demon.

It was a small demon, very weak. In fact, it was so weak that it might not even technically classify as a demon. It was so pathetically low on the totem-pole of demons that it might as well have been something else entirely, had it not been for the somewhat racist way of how demons were classified as demons. As in, if they naturally lived on the same plane as other demons naturally lived, then they were demons.

Negi summoned a Prinny.

The soul of a dead human, trapped in hell to perform the lowliest and most menial of tasks for the worst kind of monetary compensation that could be imagined, until they could repay their debt in karma.

Needless to say, the Prinny was about as stunned to be summoned as Negi was to find himself face-to-face with what looked like an undead peg-legged penguin.

In the end though, the encounter in itself didn't change Negi's life, so much as the fact that the Prinny was... knowledgeable enough about the Netherworld to intrigue a boy who could never quite help himself from devouring as much knowledge as possible, but ignorant enough to not actually be able to answer half the questions that Negi wanted answers to.

The obvious conclusion – to his childish past self, and dear lord but Negi prayed that if he ever had children, they'd at least have more self-preservation than he himself had had – was then to find a demon who knew more stuff. Thankfully for Negi's continued survival-rate, the Prinny was a decent enough person to point out that summoning a smart demon generally meant summoning a strong demon, and that strong demons were kind of super-violent.

Having watched his village be destroyed, Negi wasn't quite stupid enough to summon a strong demon. Who knew who'd get hurt if he did something like that? No, the obvious answer was then to go to the Netherworld himself, so he could find someone to explain stuff to him.

Negi had a feeling that he should apologize to his ancestors with his dying breath, just for the sheer level of stress he must've put them through after they all went rolling around in their graves at his recklessness.

Either way, it hadn't turned out too bad. Sure, a few demons had tried to eat him, one had even gotten so far as to tie him up and try to light a fire under him, but in the end it'd all worked out okay.

By pure luck and happenstance, Negi had been saved and ended up under the protective wing of a demon who thought that human children with magical potential shouldn't be eaten as snacks, but should instead be kicked into shape so that they could fight back and cause untold levels of chaos to whoever was in charge of that particular piece of the Netherworld.

Negi didn't exactly stay with that demon for very long, because some of their 'training-exercises' included picking fights with that demon's neighbors. And it turned out that those neighbors thought Negi was far too adorably stupid, in his childish genius, to kill him.

Which was how he ended up halfway adopted by nearly three dozen succubi. Which had some other consequences for their clientele and the local nobles, and that was how he'd met the Rainyday-family.

Of course, by then it'd been nearly three months since he'd arrived in the Netherworld and Negi's understanding of reality had been somewhat warped by having Prinnies around him at every turn. It was hard to see the world as black-and-white when 'evil' included 'greedily hogging all of the adult-magazines'. Not to mention the countless stories about 'super evil' people out in the world.

Not that Negi was particularly interested in who was evil or not, because he was looking for his father and didn't really have time for that kind of stuff. He did however end up paying a lot of attention to the stories when magic was involved in some way, so the stories of the Dark Evangel quickly became something of a favorite.

Sure, she was evil and all that, but everyone in the Netherworld were evil too, and some of them were pretty nice people. No, much more interesting was that she was an undead mage who'd developed lots and lots of battle-magics that caused things to go 'boom'. Negi liked both magic and things that went 'boom', so he was pretty much doomed to love those particular stories from the get-go.

Now, befriending the Rainyday daughters lead to some secrets slipping out at inconvenient times, and that was how Negi ended up learning about Magicus Mundus and the crisis it had with its magic slowly wasting away.

Since it was clearly a magical problem, Negi wholeheartedly threw himself into solving it, as a side-project whilst the Rainyday-family tried to figure out how to get him back to his home in Wales. His main project was instead to absorb as much knowledge about the Netherworld and demons and Magicus Mundus and all the stuff the succubi who visited him kept giggling about.

He was a bit over six years old when Poyo's father finally had enough of him trying to study it himself, and sat Negi down to explain 'the birds and the bees' to him. And that made a lot of stuff the succubi giggled about make a lot more sense, so Negi really appreciated it, but he didn't really see why he'd looked so uncomfortable to be talking about it.

At least now he'd figured out that the naked wrestling the succubi kept doing in public was called an 'orgy' and it wasn't a super-good idea for humans to involve themselves in that, because there were some risks for sexually transmitted diseases. It was all very informative, and helped explain why succubi and humans didn't really have sex the same amount, despite it feeling equally nice for both of them.

When he asked Poyo about her dad being uncomfortable about talking about it, she just patted him on the head and said that some people were really big on 'mysteries' for that kind of stuff, and that they felt bad about spoiling that mystery to other people, even if it was generally better to be well-informed on things like that.

Negi thereby concluded that adults were surprisingly stupid, and that Poyo was a sensible person.

A couple of years later and elbow-deep in some literature surrounding the various legal issues with prostitution, Negi came to realize that Poyo was in fact a sadistic kind of person who enjoyed watching other people squirm in discomfort whenever Negi talked about embarrassing things with a childishly inquisitive need to know.

He didn't exactly blame her for that, but he made sure to ask her some very innocent questions about her sex-life and to what extent bondage could be applied to demons, which had at least gotten her to twitch awkwardly. Even if it'd nearly made her father drown himself by choking on his drink.

Poyo was definitely a sadistic kind of person who enjoyed to watch people squirm, but Negi truly did believe that it was better to know than to not-know these things, though Negi really wouldn't be needing the knowledge for probably a lot of years still. So even if she'd deceived him for her own entertainment, it'd given him a chance to learn important things, and he certainly didn't hold a grudge over it.

Regardless, during his first stay in the Netherworld – which lasted for a total of nearly six months, and resulted in Nekane grounding him on sight upon his return – Negi learned a lot of things, and he started to piece together a puzzle he'd never considered before.

So, after two months of Nekane hovering over his shoulder with the threat of death in her eyes, Negi finally solved the problem of the magic of Mundus Magicus degrading over time. It wasn't entirely perfected, and it probably needed a bit of tweaking to properly function over an entire planet, but it was theoretically sound.

Unfortunately, Nekane didn't very much care about 'the fate of the world' because Negi was still grounded – she'd told him she'd un-ground him next year, maybe – so Negi had to sneak out back to the Netherworld to talk to Poyo and get her to take him with her to Mundus Magicus, so that he could present the solution to the people in charge who were supposedly bemoaning themselves over it.

Poyo kind of stared at him for a long moment, asked to see his theories in full, and then hummed thoughtfully to herself before agreeing to take him with her. This resulted in Nekane greeting Poyo with a spatula aimed at her face and a lot more death in her eyes, because Poyo was supposed to be a responsible person and immediately take Negi back to her if she found him.

Apparently, this was supposed to be understood even when it went unspoken, and Poyo not following Nekane's demands on the subject meant that Poyo was forcefully excluded from dessert for forever. Which had sounded pretty harsh at the time, but which Negi in hindsight could only view as a vaguely petty and very desperate grab for some kind of control when Negi kept going missing for seemingly no logical reason – because of course Negi hadn't actually told Nekane anything at all, since she wasn't all that interested in magical theory and had already said that he was grounded and therefore not allowed to do the thing that he felt like he needed to do.

All in all, if Negi ever found himself time-traveling to meet his younger self, he was going to have to smack him for being both reckless and stupidly oblivious to the worries of his surroundings.

Nekane really didn't deserve half of the things that Negi had inadvertently put her through.

Still, with everything that'd happened, Negi's normal studies were somewhat postponed as he kept having to talk to people in Mundus Magicus and explain why the spell-ward-transmutation-array was shaped the way it was, and that resulted in him not graduating with Anya, which was a bit of a shame.

Instead, it took him a whole extra year to properly graduate. And the teachers were really worried because apparently a Magister was only supposed to save the world after they graduated, meaning that Negi didn't really fit with the traditional 'go out and make the world a better place'-motivation for his assignment.

In fact, a few of the professors argued, Negi should've already been judged as having 'finished' that assignment and be classified as a Magister in full. However, in the end they decided to continue the tradition as usual, and pretend as if Negi hadn't saved the world by theoretically disassembling and reassembling the spells keeping the entirety of Mundus Magicus running. As such, Negi's new assignment was to become an English teacher at Mahora Academy, in Japan.

Which was fair enough, it wasn't like Negi had anything else to do. Outside of trying to reconnect to his recently-freed father, anyway, and his father was pretty busy with recovering from his time as a... the best word for it was probably 'hostage'. Also, Negi had never been to Japan before, even if Takamichi apparently worked over there, so there'd probably be lots of new things for him to learn.

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Ah, he'd ended up in charge of Zazie's class. That was a bit of a surprise.

Nodding absently to himself, Negi took a deep breath and entered the classroom to introduce himself to his new students.

A blackboard-eraser started falling towards his head, but it was painfully slow, so Negi just caught it instead. There was a trip-wire that was pretty easy to step over. An empty bucket was falling for his head, so he grabbed that too and used it to catch the darts that'd also been triggered.

Negi put the bucket down by the desk, and placed the eraser where it belonged by the blackboard, turning to face the actual class. They looked a bit stunned, and that was the moment that Negi realized that maybe he'd been doing a bit too much combat-training, because he hadn't even really bothered to glance at half of the traps he'd disabled.

Still, drawing attention to that kind of stuff just meant that he'd have to explain why, and that way lead to accidentally revealing magic because Negi had very little frame of reference for what life was like for non-magical people who didn't spend half of their childhood in the Netherworld running from overenthusiastic battle-maniacs. So, instead of scolding them for their traps, Negi introduced himself with a polite smile, and got started on the lesson.

Or tried to anyway. They were a rowdy bunch, Zazie's class.

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"I'm sure I've heard that name before somewhere." Negi frowned, clearly trying to remember it.

"Hooh?" Evangeline raised an eyebrow. "I also go by 'the Dark Evangel', if that rings any bells?"

Negi blinked. Negi turned to stare at the blonde girl who'd threatened to kill him and drain him dry of all of his blood in order to escape from her prison and wreak havoc upon the world. Negi's eyes started to sparkle in awe.

"Can I have your autograph?!" He held out a notebook and pen that he hadn't been holding moments before – magical storage was very useful for taking notes. "Your work on absorption-type magic was fascinating!" He tried to pretend like he wasn't vibrating with excitement. "And did you really create that glacier over in-...!"

Evangeline stared at him as he continued gushing, her expression slowly morphing from sadistic anticipation to confused shock and then over into something like overwhelmed surprise and embarrassment.

Negi didn't notice. And he most certainly didn't stop, because Evangeline was so cool.

Takamichi – who'd solemnly decided to keep an eye on the meeting from around a corner – desperately fought to contain his snickering. He was only mostly successful.

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It took a bit of time to pause enough in his rambling to get back to the actual problem at hand. Namely that one of his students was in fact an ancient vampire cursed into endlessly repeating middle-school until the curse was lifted. That this particular curse had in fact been received at the hands of Negi's father, and that Negi's father had gone missing long before she was actually supposed to be freed.

Negi had been halfway into university by the time he'd turned eight, he really didn't want to imagine what it must've been like, being trapped in middle school for fifteen years. And of course his father had been distracted by his own hostage-situation, and then by trying to recover and get his feet back under him, so it'd obviously not crossed his mind that he should go and reverse Evangeline's curse immediately before she went berserk and murdered everyone out of sheer bored frustration.

Needless to say, Negi called his father and told him to get to Japan and undo Eva's curse before he was forced to use up all of his sick-days to go back to Magicus Mundus and physically drag him back to do it.

Nagi was a bit stunned at his vehemence, but then – for all of his talent at magic – Negi was pretty sure that Nagi would've enjoyed being surrounded by cute girls for fifteen years and still be breezing through all of the exams. He would've probably gotten bored with it and tried to wander off after six months, especially if he started to realize how disturbingly present his age-difference to those cute girls were, but Nagi wasn't the kind of guy to really think that far ahead.

As such, Negi suspected that his father had considered the curse as a 'pleasant vacation' for Evangeline, even if it'd ended up spanning well over a decade instead of the originally planned few years, whereas Negi saw it as a cruel and unusual form of intellectual torture.

Still, Nagi had shown up, spent a few days scratching his head and laughing awkwardly about how he absolutely knew what he was doing and totally knew how to reverse the curse. Then Nagi had kind of shrugged, the dean and Takamichi had both gotten pale and took off running, and Negi was given front-row seats to the most intense magical display this side of Magicus Mundus.

After which Albireo had come stumbling out from underneath the World Tree with a broom to whack Nagi over the head with, because he'd caused a minor earthquake and it'd been very distressing to anyone as highly attuned to magic as him.

Evangeline had mostly just bounced on her toes, giddy with magic, for the better part of an hour. And then she'd suddenly blasted Nagi over the horizon in a gleeful declaration of rage and frustration that made Negi think of Nekane trying to clean out his mouth with soap. Then Evangeline had taken flight herself, and blasted off after him. After that, there'd been some rather spectacularly stormy weather off the coast of Japan for the rest of the week.

Negi later heard from Takamichi that Eva had cleared out her cottage and was dragging Nagi off on a trip around the world, where he had to pay her bar-tab. But that was neither here nor there.

Negi had classes to plan, that was much more important.

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Considering how some of his students weren't the most prominent in academics, and that Negi lived in an apartment near to their dorms – and the only reason he'd managed to get that much distance was because he'd been willing to blackmail the dean with Nekane's inevitable reaction to him sharing a room with his own students – he'd decided on something of an open-door policy to their studies.

If they needed help with their homework, or if they just needed a quiet spot to read the assigned material, his apartment was available. Negi was pretty sure that it was the kind of decision that could leave him burning out if his students tried to continuously crash on his couch, but it would stop his ridiculously rowdy class from being held back a year because they'd misunderstood the material, and it wasn't like Negi wasn't already spending all of his free time studying anyway.

Also, it was a good opportunity to review his own ability to teach. If he couldn't actually explain enough in class that his students had to search him out afterwards, then he was doing something wrong. Certainly, it could come down to the flagging attention of his students, but then that still reflected on his ability to keep them entertained and focused through his lectures.

In theory, it was a reasonable idea, and Negi didn't exactly regret it.

He did however notice that a disappointingly large proportion of his students arrived on his doorstep to get him to 'teach' them things that they already knew.

Apparently, a lot of them were more interested in his attention – or his state of dress – than they were in academics. And yes, Negi was definitely reminded of all the time he'd spent living with the succubi in the Netherworld, though his students were noticeably a lot less cheerful about playing up the 'mother'-angle of their relationship, and were instead trying to shoehorn themselves into a 'big sister who teaches lewd things'-position.

Negi had been dressed up as a girl enough times to know that he was very pretty for a boy – the succubi only had so much clothing, it'd been inevitable. He also knew that people were attracted to things that were either pretty or forbidden. As a younger male who was also their teacher, he very much fell in the 'forbidden' category, and with his pretty face and general dedication to his fitness-level on top of that, it shouldn't have come as such a surprise.

It didn't really change anything about it, because he was still their teacher, and so his main goal was basically to guide them through three years of education and into learning as many things that'd be helpful for the future as possible, and then to never see them again. If they wanted to have flings with pretty things that they should probably avoid, Negi had the phone-numbers of several succubi who'd be more than happy to help them out with any pent-up 'frustrations'.

Not that he was legally allowed to give them out to his students, because that'd be a breach of the secrecy of magic, which was illegal. Also, demon-summoning was technically illegal too, in a lot of Magicus Mundus. Mainly because it was really dangerous if someone was brilliant and stupid enough to summon anything more intelligent than a Prinny, and that Negi had been ridiculously lucky to have things resolve themselves as well as they had.

Summoning a succubi was a bit different, largely due to the implications of the contract used to summon them with. Trying to create a contract to press demons for information that weren't lies? That was difficult. Trying to create a contract to aim the demon at your enemies without it turning against your allies as well? That was equally difficult. Trying to create a contract where the demon's only interaction with the world was to give you lots of orgasms and then go back to the Netherworld? That was child's play.

Negi ought to know, the succubi had given him a few summoning-clues to play around with, and it'd barely kept him entertained for an hour.

So, if his students continued to consider him a good romantic or sexual endeavor, instead of losing interest and wandering off towards other things within the next few months, Negi was going to start 'accidentally' misplacing succubi-contracts for his students to find.

It wasn't 'revealing magic' if they only discovered that magic was real by trying it out themselves. And that was very much a perfectly sound legal argument. Negi could still end up in trouble for leaving things like that out in the open, but in a place as populated with mages as Mahora? Where demon-summoning wasn't technically illegal – because of some arguments about shikigami, way back in the day? And if Negi just left them in a reasonably safe area, like on his bedroom-table, where a middle-school girl who'd be looking for a diary could be expected to snoop? Why, he'd be perfectly in the clear.

He'd still give them a month or so to get used to the novelty of having a boy as a teacher, before he tempted them away from his own forbidden availability and into the arms of demons. It'd be a bit reckless to just spread that kind of stuff around without some kind of buffer.

Also, he'd probably need to create some kind of paper-touched contract to keep the girls from spreading the succubi-summoning ritual around like the flue, once they'd figured out that it actually worked. It wouldn't do to get them in trouble for revealing magic to their friends, even if Negi wouldn't technically be responsible for it. Not to mention that it wasn't the best idea to encourage demon-summoning in general, without some kind of supervision.

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Unfortunately for Negi's open-door policy, some of his students were more prone to using it than others, and some of their reasons were different enough from others that they took notice of it.

Ayaka would basically vibrate in her seat at the opportunity to be left unsupervised in Negi's bedroom, to the point of pretending at complete ineptitude despite having studied the material thoroughly. Yue was honestly interested in his collection of books, even if she wasn't very enthusiastic about learning about the actual school-mandated things. Asuna was frustrated to the point of absolute outrage at her own inability with academics, and didn't at all appreciate the rest of the class making a scene whilst she was working. And most of the rest of the class fit into some mix of those extremes.

Then of course there was Zazie.

Zazie who didn't bother trying to pretend that her academical knowledge wasn't perfectly adequate as it was, and who still showed up to his apartment without any kind of shame.

Negi knew why she was doing it, and wasn't sure if he was more amused or exasperated by it.

A long time ago, Zazie had decided that, since Negi was Poyo's only friend – not true, but not an entirely faulty assumption – that meant that Negi was going to become Zazie's brother-in-law sooner or later. As such, if Negi invited lots of pretty girls into his apartment after school-hours, then obviously Zazie needed to be there in order to make sure he wasn't cheating on her sister.

Poyo had been confused by the assumption to start off, and when she'd finally figured it out she'd taken steps to assure that their father didn't make the same leap of logic. Apparently, as a princess of the Netherworld, whilst she very much had the ability to choose who to date on her own terms, her father still had the ability to make dating very complicated. And if he decided that Negi and Poyo were courting each other, he would naturally take steps to make sure that the world knew she was already spoken for.

Considering that Poyo's father had first encountered Negi in an enclave of succubi – and that Negi very much hadn't been what the man had been looking for at the time – Negi really didn't think he had a lot of ground to stand on when dictating the boundaries of courtship. Regardless, an explanation had kept any needless complications out of the question, even if Zazie was far too stubborn to be reasonable about it.

Still, with his new open-doors policy, and the fact that the students who trickled in were only rarely focused enough on their studies to think too much about it, they all very quickly began to notice that Zazie was pretty much always there.

If Negi had had the space for two beds – or if he'd had a bunk-bed – he was pretty sure that Zazie would've already moved in. Just to make doubly sure that he didn't get up to any 'funny business'.

She was very protective of her older sister.

"What's your relationship to Negi-sensei?!" Ayaka finally demanded, pointing dramatically at Zazie.

Zazie blinked, tilted her head, and remained silent except for how she didn't. It was pretty easy to interpret the silence when you already knew what she was going to say, though Negi guessed that Ayaka had asked specifically because she didn't already know.

A bit exasperated at once again being blatantly referred to as her 'future brother-in-law', Negi glanced her way from where he'd been reading. "I've said it before, but Poyo and I aren't actually dating, Zazie."

Zazie turned to stare at him, a skeptical tint in her eyes, backed by a certainty of the inevitable.

Negi opened his mouth to continue the far-too-old argument, but was interrupted by a rather hysterical-sounding Ayaka. "Who's Poyo, and what is her relationship with Negi-sensei?!"

Zazie changed the target of her stare, but Negi interrupted her before her silence could start any weird rumors.

"Poyo is Zazie's older sister, and an old friend of mine." Negi explained. "She helped me out with a few things, and we've been working on a few joint projects in the past." He paused, before shrugging towards Ayaka. "Poyo isn't the most sociable of people, and since I'm the only one who consistently talks with her, Zazie believes that we'll get married."

"Married?!" Ayaka's hysteria had reached a new level it seemed, because she definitely hadn't been at all calmed down by Negi's explanation.

Perhaps he needed more practice with public speaking and deescalation of situations? It was something worth keeping an eye on at least.

He definitely needed to work on it in some manner, because he didn't succeed in stopping Ayaka's hysteria before she rushed out of his apartment, likely towards the rest of her classmates where she'd be raising a great fuss about his future marital status. That was going to be fun.

"Zazie?" The girl glanced his way, though he only noticed through the corner of his eyes, since he was staring at a wall, a little bit stunned by how quickly that had escalated. "Humans are weird."

Zazie's stare turned vaguely judgmental.

Negi made a vaguely offended noise, but was a bit too exhausted to turn away from the comforting blankness of the wall. "Teenage girls are probably the most honestly human-acting humans you'll ever find. So no. I'm not generalizing."

Zazie turned back to toying with her shadow-demons, either agreeing or not bothering to argue about it.

Which was fine. Negi would take his victories where he could find them.

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"Of course you'd get in on it too." Negi sighed into the phone.

He admired his father a lot, but sometimes he very much wondered if the man hadn't taken a few too many hits to the noggin over the years.

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean?" Nagi sounded like he was smiling, the kind of anticipatory smile of a shark smelling blood. "Were you trying to keep it secret from your old man?"

Negi took a deep breath. "Which answer will get you to drop it?"

"Ohoho! Harsh words from a brat!" Nagi sounded positively gleeful.

Honestly, Negi sometimes wondered about what kind of woman his mother had been, to have considered his father's gleeful ridiculousness to be charming. He couldn't imagine it.

"Just because two people share somewhat overlapping interests in academics, and generally get along well as a result, doesn't mean that they're dating." Negi paused. "That Zazie refuses to believe it is one thing, but you're twice her age."

"A woman's intuition isn't something you should underestimate, Negi!" Nagi sounded like he was trying to keep from snickering.

"She's fourteen. A woman she's not." Negi shook his head. "Was that all?"

"I stumble across my son's engagement from a third party, and that's all you have to say?" Nagi was whining now, playing up the role of a wounded parent.

Negi paused, taking another deep breath, and then decided to retaliate. "Yes, actually. Bye dad. Say hi to Eva-mama."

The sound of choking and an incredulous voice blurting out words that didn't quite sound like words. Negi hung up.

It wasn't like he really believed that Evangeline would become his new step-mother or anything. He was pretty sure that his father was still madly in love with his mother, for one. But if Nagi could tease Negi about gossip, then Negi could tease Nagi right back.

And it wasn't like he was really opposed to the idea of having the Dark Evangel as his step-mother, unlikely as it might be. She was amazing.

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A/n: I've honestly no clue where this would've gone long-term. Magicus Mundus has been saved, Nagi and Eva are both free, and Negi has already had a very strange kind of trial-by-fire from his time in the Netherworld so he isn't all that vulnerable to 2-A's antics.

The idea of Negi somehow bullying his father into marrying Eva (because she's the coolest) is kind of hilarious to me, but it's pretty far-fetched, and I don't actually care that much.

(Seriously though, the original idea for this crossover was something along the lines of "replace Chamo with a Prinny". Which would've been funny, but also very much-... Like, it'd give the story more reason for things randomly exploding, and everyone would be weirded out by the talking undead penguin hiding in Negi's room, but I couldn't figure out what the point would be at all.)