Title: Eat your Cake and Have it too

Genre: Romance/Humour

Rating: T, for mild insinuations at mature content

Warnings: Food porn. Not in the way you'd expect. :|

Summary: Shinichi doesn't believe in Valentine's Day. Not that Kaito's going to let that stop him from enjoying it. KaiShin

The first was a beautifully decorated brownie sandwich. Dark cool chocolate, with condensation still lingering on the surface, graced the top of the heart-shaped confection. The aromatic scent of the chocolate and cream wafted from the pink ribboned casing with its soft black lining. Pale almond icing looped intricately around the top of the crispy little wafers at the side.

Kaito crowed in delight. "Yes! My first loot of the day! I am loved!" He did a little happy dance in front of his locker. "I'm going to see what else I can get!" He dashed off, leaving his open locker, Shinichi, Ran and Hattori who gaped speechlessly. His locker door swung forlornly in his absence.

Shinichi shook himself out of the daze promptly, took out Kaito's books for the day before closing it and returning to his own to prepare for his classes. He turned around to see Ran and Hattori staring at him anxiously. "What is it?" He demanded.

"Nothing," they said quickly and shiftily, Shinichi thought. "Erm, I mean if you don't mind, why should we?" Ran said with a tentative little side glance at him.

Shinichi only looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all," Hattori grabbed him and steered him down the hallway forcefully. "Hey, let's get to class, shall we?"

The second were a set of cream biscuit sandwiches, dipped in melted chocolate with large red and pink frosting hearts drawn on them. They lay on a bed of M&Ms and were served in a metal tin wrapped with a lovely lace embroidered cloth and finished with a deep red ribbon. The edges of the ribbon were artistically cut and rolled and fluttered in the chilly February weather.

"Look!" Kaito leapt on him excitedly, wrapping a grabby arm around Shinichi and pressed the tin into his hands. "It looks good, doesn't it?"

"Kuroba, no-" Kazuha exclaimed, eyes flicking to Shinichi in momentary panic.

Kaito glanced at Kazuha bewildered, frowned and pulled back slightly. "Don't like it? I thought it looked yummy."

Shinichi shrugged. He wasn't really a fan of sweets. "It's not bad. But if you keep swinging it around carelessly, it'll get mussed up." He warned. Kaito immediately stopped fussing and stood eerily still, peering into his box of candy. Shinichi snorted. Leaning back, he caught sight of Iwai dithering shyly a little distance away, shielding a gift bag behind her legs. He nudged Kaito and tipped his head. Kaito immediately got the message and bounced over.

Hattori took the chance to lean over from his seat. "So… what do you think?" He nodded at the growing pile of luxuriously wrapped boxes and gift bags by Kaito's table. "Pretty excessive, huh?" He sounded hesitant, as if he was treading over a minefield.

"They're going to melt if he doesn't store them properly." Shinichi observed blandly. "But that probably won't happen, since I'm sure half the pile will be gone down the abyss we call Kaito's stomach by lunch."

Hattori jerked back and stared at him alarmed. "I knew it! You're mad, aren't you?"

Shinichi stared at him incredulously. "No- what? Why would I be?" Suddenly, Ran's, Kazuha's and Hattori's behavior clicked and he couldn't help a humourous laugh. "Wait, don't answer that. You think I'm jealous?" He snorted and waved a hand dismissively. "No, no way. He's always like that anyway and he's enjoying himself. How can I be mad?"

Hattori eyed him suspiciously. "No?"

Shinichi shook his head emphatically. "Nope. Don't worry, Hattori." He said with a laugh. "It's just for fun."

Hattori stared at him dubiously. "If you say so. Anyway, haven't you got anything of your own yet?" He looked curious. After all, Shinichi was fairly popular in his own right, being a well-known detective and an excellent soccer player, when he deigned to play and wasn't bogged down by work.

Shinichi shook his head.

Hattori shrugged nonchalantly. "Ran'll probably give you one later. And the day is still early." He grinned mischievously and reached into his bag, pulling out a heart-shaped pink chocolate with elaborate velvet roses over the seam of the wrapping instead of a traditional ribbon. He waved it tauntingly at Shinichi. "Look~ I got one earlier than you. Don't you wish you were me?"

"That's not from Kazuha, is it?" Shinichi asked idly.

"Nope, how'd you know?"

"Then, no, I wouldn't want to be you. Because she's coming towards us now with a very scary look on her face." Shinichi replied drily. "I'd suggest running. Or if you think that's no good, you could always beg for mercy."

"Ack! Ah- Kazuha, it's not what it looks like-" Shinichi tuned out the squabbling with a practiced ear.

Kaito bounded back into his seat with an array of white and milk chocolate muffins with nuts sprinkled liberally on top, wrapped with pink paper with sparkles. Shinichi thought he looked rather like a proud dragon preening in his lair, counting his pink, glittery, chocolate hoard.

It wasn't the third gift that Kaito received, but it was the third one Kaito shoved at him to examine and laugh over.

"I can't believe the nerve of some of them," Kaito laughed as he turned over the colourful handmade gift coupons, declaring that the owner was entitled to a free massage. "They actually have coupons for different body parts! Oooh, look, there's one for a foot massage." He grinned as he slung an arm over Shinichi's shoulder. "I bet you'll really want something like this after a long police chase, huh?"

Shinichi rolled his eyes expressively. "I'm not so desperate as to let strange people climb all over me," He said waspishly. "And you better not take them up on it. You'll give them ideas and that'll lead them on."

"I'd never," Kaito protested. He leered. "Because I have you to play naughty touches with~ we don't need anyone else." He abruptly grabbed Shinichi and twirled him around playfully, but his eyes were deadly serious and his fingers were pressing hard little indents into his arm. "You know that, don't you?"

Shinichi looked startled. "Of course." He answered. He was profoundly grateful his voice didn't tremble. It would be mortifying if it did and might give Kaito all sorts of ideas that he wasn't sure he wanted Kaito to get when he was looking intense and as ready to leap up and do dramatic and passionate things as he was now.

The fourth was a cluster of maraschino cherries with a flush coating of sweet milk chocolate and cake. The light dust of confectionary sugar highlighted the sleek shine of the chocolate. While it seemed to be the fashion to line the insides of the tins with a kind of cloth as many of Kaito's gifts so far have proven, this one was placed in a classy wooden box, the pale natural brown of the wood contrasting well with the darkness of the chocolate.

Shinichi blinked at the girl curiously. She flushed deeply. "Hello. It was really hard to find you today, but I just had to. You probably don't remember me, but you helped my sister that time when she was a suspect in a case," Shinichi blankly deciphered the chatter that flowed from the girl at bullet train speed. "I've always looked up to you, but that was really really nice of you and-"

Shinichi started to turn red too as his brain caught up with his ears. However, before he could formulate a response, she had already thrust the box at Shinichi, yelled out a garbled variation of "Please accept this!" and ran away. He stared after her disappearing back for a while before heading back to class. He had been caught by her on his way back from the washroom, which made him wonder vaguely. After all, the only way she would realize he wasn't in class at the moment was if she had followed him around and stood outside his classroom until she espied the opportunity. He shivered slightly and resolved to put vaguely threatening stalker-ish behavior out of his mind.

Why'd she say he was hard to find? He wondered idly. He'd just been going about his day as usual. Nothing much had differed except for Kaito's random appearances and disappearances as he gathered his treasure trove of chocolate.

Hattori leaned over, easily spotting the box. "Oooh, Kudou. Not bad for your first." He winked lecherously. "I saw a girl running by the classroom. Pretty cute too, you got a nice catch there!"

"I'm going to tell Kazuha that you said those kinds of pervy things." Shinichi retorted. "Besides, I'm not that kind of person. And she was just thanking me."

Shinichi suddenly felt an odd prickle at the back of his neck, as if someone was watching him. He turned around. The rest of the students were busy minding their own business. Ran and Kazuha were chatting happily three seats away from them. Kaito was glaring intently at the window pane. Odd, but it was Kaito after all.

Shinichi turned back to his work. The itch at the back of his neck had gone away anyway, so it was probably no big deal, right?

The fifth was thrust under his nose while he was in a corner of the library. He was working on exercises he had just received a mere half an hour before. Ran often marveled at him for always doing his work so early and diligently without fail, but the truth was that Shinichi was so often busy with detective work that it was just common sense to finish up his school work as quickly as possible before any murder cases could crop up and interrupt him. He didn't think that would be a nice reason to tell Ran though, so he just kept quiet and let her attribute it to his work ethic.

He grimaced and pushed it away with a flail. The artificial scent of perfume wafted into his nose. Kaito obligingly shifted it away so it wasn't so close to his face Shinichi was practically cross-eyed by the item.

It was a clear glass-like rose with a bright fuchsia perfume swirling in the depths of the delicate hollow petals. A pink ribbon with heart-shaped candy in the centre was wrapped lovingly around the stem, which was decorated fetchingly by two fake leaves.

Shinichi felt a surge of irritation. Why did Kaito have to bother him with these things? It was the countless number of the numerous hoards of gifts, why did he think that Shinichi cared about them?

"What do you think?" Kaito had the gall to ask laughingly, unheeding of Hurricane Shinichi brewing. "Normally I'm the one to give out roses, but this is a rather novel concept. And pretty."

"It looks cheap," Shinichi snapped. "I can see the uneven seams of the rose from here. And the smudges- Is that plastic or is that badly blown glass? The pink of the perfume clashes with the ribbon. And real roses are way bushier than this- It's so artificial I have no words for it. Also, I'm not sure how hygienic that candy-"

"Whoa there," Kaito interrupted, eyes wide. "That's really harsh. Are you sure you're feeling well?" He reached a hand upwards as if to feel for Shinichi's temperature. Shinichi smacked it away moodily.

So what if he was feeling uncharitable? Valentine's Day was never a good day for him. He'd always felt awkward, seeing all the affectionate displays and the general giggling, blushing, love-is-in-the-air atmosphere that usually clung to school during that day. Knowing that he would have to accept the gifts of multiple girls and even reciprocate in a holiday that he didn't even fully like just tested his nerves. And he personally felt that leading girls on when he was in no position to return their feelings was just morally indecent.

Still, he supposed it was rather out of hand to be so crude about the gift. No doubt, the sender had put in a lot of effort in selecting it and had done their best to convey their feelings through the item. The cold hand of guilt clenched around his heart and he bit his lip and sighed.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me," he inclined his head slightly and apologised. "I suppose I'm just tired. And stressed out."

Kaito looked as though he accepted the excuse easily. He frowned. "Are they still sending you things? I thought they left you alone. Most of them. I could… take care of the rest if you're uncomfortable." A steely note tinged his voice.

Shinichi shrugged. "Oh yes, they did. That's a big change from last year, thankfully." He huffed in relief. "The only one I got was a thank you for helping her sister in a case. I think. Harmless enough."

Kaito brightened and nodded understandingly. "Ah, I see."

Shinichi frowned as the later part of Kaito's utterance suddenly struck him. "Take care of the rest? Have you been doing something?"

"Ah! Shinichi, tsk tsk, you shouldn't be talking so loudly in the library, you know. Get back to your work!"

Sonoko eyed him suspiciously. "Are you jealous that Kaito got more gifts than you did?"

Kaito's gifts had piled his whole locker and were scheming to overtake half of Shinichi's locker at last count. In contrast, the wooden box of cherries stood rather lonely on Shinichi's desk, clasp shining dully.

Shinichi looked so taken aback that the others had no choice but to believe him. "What- Why would I? I don't care about something stupid like that at all!" He scowled. "Besides, Valentine's Day and White Day are just commercialised days where candy and gift companies are out to suck your money in the lie that you're 'proving your love' to your crush. Silly."

The girls immediately looked so incensed that Hattori felt obliged to jump in, if only to save Shinichi's skin.

"If you don't want Kuroba to accept any chocolates other than yours, why don't you just tell him?" Hattori said reasonably.

Shinichi felt himself flush to the roots of his hair. "No! I-Uh-" He purposely did not look at Hattori's face, with that traitorous glimmer of humour in his eyes. "I didn't even make chocolate for him!" He shouted and turned away sulking, ignoring the others. It was a sunny day outside after all and he was definitely not going to give up his good spot against the tree because his friends sucked.

"Definitely mad." Hattori mumbled.

That unsupportive jerk. Who needed enemies when you had friends like that?

"Poor Shinichi. Should we tell Kaito?" Ran whispered.

"Tell him what? Kudou doesn't even want to admit something is wrong." Hattori snorted. "That pig-headed brat."

Shinichi balled up his fist and promised himself to raid Hattori's room and throw all his beloved baseball caps out of the window at next opportunity.

Besides, who was Hattori to give love advice? Look at how he handled his relationship with Kazuha. Shinichi refused to believe that he stooped that low.

"But Shinichi looks so sad," Ran sounded equally miserable.

"Forget about that detective geek, he's completely stupid at love matters," Sonoko hissed. "Leave him alone; you can't teach the blind to see."

Shinichi turned around and roared at them to clear up their lunches and hurry back to class. If he was a bit more snippy in his barbs today, it was just because he was in a bad mood, okay?

And it wasn't because of chocolates or Valentine's Day or Kaito or anything like that. Where did you hear that?

The last one Shinichi saw was while he was passing by a bakery on his way home from work. He stuttered to a stop and stared as the human traffic flowed around him. Then he went in.

It was perfect for Kaito, he told himself as he waited in the queue. It wasn't because of Valentine's Day or anything foolish like that.

He loved the chocolate, Shinichi reasoned while he placed his order with the smiling counter staff. He'll probably have finished his lot of it by the time he reached home and he'll have no dessert for dinner. And having no dessert for dinner was simply atrocious, wasn't it?

Just indulge in him, he commanded himself, picking up his cake box to go. Nothing wrong with a special treat once in a while.

Shinichi sighed as he headed home, a slew of slow romantic songs caroling out in the streets from the shop radios. He was completely whipped, he mused.

He entered the house, not even stopping to yell the traditional house greeting to Kaito. Shinichi just charged right into the kitchen where indeed, Kaito was washing down a chocolate muffin with apple juice. He peered at Shinichi and his package questioningly.

Shinichi didn't even let Kaito open his mouth. He launched the box at Kaito, ordered him to "Shut up and don't say a word!" and fled into the depths of the hallway. Distantly, Kaito heard the faint rattle of the house structure as Shinichi banged his door shut to mope around in his room and convince himself that his gift had been a mere act of charity and was for the needy and not a bow to the commercial gods of the holiday.

He raised an eyebrow. The plastic bag was stamped with the brand of the bakery and the plain white box still cold- Clearly, Shinichi had not even bothered to take the cake out of the box or personalise and beautify the wrapping and container. Though, knowing Shinichi, it might have been an affront to his beliefs. Kaito stifled a grin. He gently removed the plastic bag and lifted the lid.

Lovely dark chocolate ganache glistened on the top of the opera cake. Layers of light almond sponge cake and coffee buttercream interweaved mesmerisingly below the chocolate topping with the occasional chocolate tier interrupting the light coats of flavour with intense bursts of bitter-sweetness. The vivid red of plump strawberries, cut into heart and star shapes, provided a stark contrast against the deep colour of the chocolate and the clean white of the box. Fancy loops of chocolate shaving finished off the picture daintily.

Kaito caught his breath. A warm sweet taste like honey filled his jaw, and he swallowed. He closed his eyes and shut the box.

"You defeat me as always, Shinichi," he murmured and laid a delicate, trembling kiss on the lid.

Hattori slumped over and gave Kaito the evil eye. Kaito only stuck another forkful of opera cake into his mouth gleefully. Mmm. Yummy.

"Seriously, you got to stop doing that." Hattori groaned. "Every time this happens and Kudou gets mad, he takes it out on us. Have some mercy on the poor people here."

"You'd think he'd pick up on it since he's supposed to be the Heisei Holmes," Ran sighed from her flopped over position on the couch. "But for all he's so sharp at deducing murders, he's just horrible at knowing his heart."

Sonoko just laughed semi-hysterically, curled up over a plush arm of the couch. Ran attributed it to the verbal sparring she and Shinichi had engaged in, which consisted mostly of Sonoko trying to jab Shinichi into admitting his harmless jealousy and Shinichi denying fervently. For 3 whole hours. She wondered why Shinichi hadn't just given in, even if it was just to get Sonoko off his back. It just made it all the more obvious that he had something to hide and Ran didn't think that Shinichi was emotionally stunted enough to not recognise jealousy in his psyche when it happened.

"One day he's going to catch on, and then you'll be sorry. Kudou can hold quite a grudge, you know." Kazuha muttered darkly. She drained a mug of coffee with a glare. (She cited that she had seen enough chocolate that day to last her a lifetime. Hattori had contradicted her unthinkingly and he was still nursing a goose egg at the back of his head for the unwelcome commentary.)

Kaito laughed wickedly. "It's quite alright. I'll enjoy it while it lasts." He scooped another heavenly slice of cake into his mouth and savoured it with an expression highly unsuited for eating cake. Watching him, Ran felt as if she had walked in on… intimate affairs. She shuddered.

"It's been years. This is what? The fourth valentine?" Sonoko finally deigned to move from where she'd collapsed, tucking her head under a sheltering arm. "If he hasn't realised it by the second one, he'll never figure it out. The idiot."

"I want at least twenty percent of your chocolate collection," Hattori grumbled. "For tolerating Kudou during Valentine's Day."

"Hear, hear," Ran and Sonoko chorused. Kazuha looked torn between growling at Hattori for wanting other girls' chocolates and agreeing.

"I can't give you twenty percent, twenty percent already goes to my mother," Kaito complained. "If I gave all of you twenty, I'd be giving away my whole load."

"I don't care," Sonoko snapped.

A calculating glint entered Kaito's eyes. "200 g of chocolate goods each."

"Way too stingy," Hattori responded sharply. "You get at least 5 kg. That's just 4 percent. 1 kg."

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing! One kilogram out of five is still twenty percent! 300g."

"800g."

"400g. Take it or leave it."

"You're making a grave mistake here," Hattori informed Kaito with a smirk. "With just a well-placed comment from me, you'll be sleeping on the couch for weeks. 600g."

Ran watched in amazement as the two men haggled, wrangled out the details of the deal and finally decided on 500 grams of chocolate per person. Kaito looked rather satisfied, while Hattori grumbled that he should have tried harder to con him out of more chocolate.

"This only starts next Valentine." Kaito cut off Hattori's query with a smug look. "So you can only get the 500g next year and not this year. I've already eaten up most of my chocolate with Shinichi already anyway."

Ran felt mildly horrified. At least 5 kg (or less, since he had to give some to his mother) of chocolate in a day? Why, hello there, diabetes.

Sonoko looked horrorstruck for a different reason. "You mean we have to go through this again?"

Ran sighed again and thumped her head against the couch seat.

AN: This was really fun to do, although it was… horribly out of season xD;;; I might post more of these pointless light and fluffy things if people like them.. Eh. (Why are plots so hard to do.)

I'm sorry for being so cliché guys, please forgive me OTL Ahahaha…