The morning after

She started to wake up as the sun hit her face. At first she couldn't figure out how she could have forgotten to close the blinds. She always closed them. She swallowed to get some moist back into her dry mouth. It felt like she hadn't brushed her teeth last night. How could she have forgotten that? She didn't feel like opening her eyes yet. She felt at ease, warm and protected. She stirred a bit and then suddenly just knew she wasn't alone. Her eyes jolted open and she immediately saw the arm that was resting over her. The hand resting on her bare lower arm started moving slightly. She relaxed quickly. She knew this hand. This arm. She knew who was sleeping behind her. Who's breath she could feel on the back of her neck. Who's leg she felt resting in-between hers. And it was okay. She felt perfectly safe. She remembered last night. She remembered all of yesterday. The good, the bad, the ugly. But for right now it felt okay. The sun fell over the bed. The sunrays that fell over her arm and now reached her face felt warm against her skin. She felt his hand move again. She looked at it as his fingers caressed her skin gently. She knew he was starting to wake up and this moment would soon end. She took a deep breath and tried to savor this moment.

He had always been a slow starter in the morning. He loved sleeping in. His wife had always been an early riser but thankfully his daughter loved to cozy up in the morning and stay in bed for just a little bit longer. He thought of her now. He missed her. His daughter, not so much his wife these days. It felt strange, there was a time when he thought he would die without her but life really did go on. He took a deep breath and an unfamiliar scent filled his sinus. He stirred a bit and felt the presence of another person next to him. Slowly last night came back to him. He kept his eyes closed. Wanted to stay in this moment for a little bit longer. He moved his fingers carefully, stroking her skin gently. Her skin felt soft and warm under his fingers. He took another breath, tried to identify the scent. Lily of the valley he guessed. He wondered if it was her shampoo, her conditioner or perhaps her lotion. Slowly he opened his eyes. Sunrays over her neck was the first thing he saw. Then the sun over her hair. Over her ear. The sheer white fabric over her shoulder. What a delightful sight to see first thing in the morning he thought. He had his arm over her. Their bodies had a little room between them but he felt his leg pushed in between hers. For a moment he felt like sliding in closer. Hold her tight for just a second. Feel what it felt like. If their bodies fitted together. He had a feeling they would. But of course he knew he shouldn't. That he couldn't. He felt her stir a little under his arm and he knew it was time to let go.

She knew he was awake. Felt the deep inhale. How his arm tensed just a bit, and then his leg. She tried to lay absolutely still. Appreciate the moment. She felt the next deep inhale. Wondered what he was doing. What he was thinking. The sun captured her entire face by now. She felt warm and safe. But she knew the moment had to end. She stirred a bit. Letting him think she was waking up. She closed her eyes. Took a deep breath and then slowly turned over on her back.

He watched her as she rolled backwards. Her jawbone, her curved lip, her closed eye, her nose and then her other eye as they were slowly opening. His arm landed on her chest. He felt her petite lumps underneath his forearm and he felt unwilling to move it. He met her sleepy blue eyes and a small smile spread over her lips. She took a deep breath, his arm pressing against her chest even more. He smiled back at her with his head still on the pillow. As she had turned over her shoulder landed against his chest, her side by his stomach. His leg preventing her from fully rolling over and making her hip rest against his. He watched as she turned her eyes up on the ceiling. Then she turned her eyes back down to meet his. Her smile turned charmingly shy and she started to move away from him. He got his eyes completely open and jolted backwards. He immediately missed the warm feeling of her body next to him. He rose up quickly, tried to plant himself on the floor securely. She'd gotten up on the other side. Folded her arms in front of her and grabbed a hold of her own elbows as she brought her shoulders up to her ears only to let them fall down again.

"I'm sorry about that," he gestured to the bed in-between them. "During the night I must have forgotten where..."
"Don't worry about it," she interrupted him. She shook her head with a shy smile on her face. "I'm the one who asked you to sleep with me remember?" she said and looked down. He knew she was giving him a way out here and he appreciated it. He brought his hand up and rubbed his skull a bit. He spotted the box on the floor next to the bed. He remembered the photos of her. What she'd shared with him. Both the good and the bad.
"Well I better be going then," he said and put his hands to his sides. Patted his pant legs a bit. She nodded. He hesitated though.

"Are you okay Amanda?" he asked and got her to look at him. She looked puzzled for a second but then nodded.
"I mean not just with," he gestured to the bed and briefly his awkward smile came back but he focused and continued. "About what you told me last night and... Shane." She seemed uncomfortable with hearing Shane's name and Nick hoped he hadn't spoiled anything.
"No lasting harm no foul right?" she tried to compose herself. Act a little bit more secure than she felt.
"I don't know. You tell me?" he wasn't that satisfied with her answer. He watched her squirm a bit.
"I'm okay Nick. Really. Thank you but I'll be fine," it sounded honest enough she thought. He watched her closely.
"Well if you need anything. Ever. I hope you know you can call me?" She smiled and nodded.
"Thanks," she said quietly.

Nick started moving towards the door but turned around as he reached it.
"So I'll make sure he's not out there," he said. Amanda looked over at her alarm-clock. It was 8:30 am.
"I think his plane has left by now actually," she told him.
"Well I have a good look around anyway. And I'll pick you up before shift later today."
"You don't have to Nick, I'll..."
"Don't be silly Amanda. Your car is at the station. I'll text you when I'm getting closer," he waited for her to acknowledge and she gave him a nod.
"Thanks Nick," she said.

"No problem," he was about to leave but turned around quickly and added: "And get those frames up on a wall. Nothing that cute should be hidden in a box," he smiled at her as he finally left the room. She felt some heat flare up on her cheeks. She shook her head and tried to contain her smile as she heard him leave. She felt conflicted. Too much emotions in less than 24 hours. She'd been all over the place. But she'd gotten through it. With a little help of a... friend. Yeah she felt like she'd gained a new friend. She felt the suns heat on her back. She turned around and took the few steps up to the window. She had a peek outside and caught Nick just as he stepped to the end of the curb.

She thought about hiding but stayed put. And then he looked up. First at her living room windows but then his eyes traveled to her window. He got a smile on his face when he saw her. He made an okay sign with his thumb and index finger and she raised her hand so he'd know she got it. He let go of his fingers and just held up his hand in the air for her as a goodbye. She raised her hand again and waved shortly. His hand slowly fell down and landed on his hip. He looked down the street and then back up at her. He had somewhat of a sheepish smile on his face she thought. She found herself unable to stop smiling and she wondered if she looked just as sheepish to him. He nodded just slightly and then pulled himself away, started to walk down the street. She followed him with her eyes as far as she could. She found herself leaning in so much her cheek touched the glass. She quickly stood up and brought up her hand to her mouth. She felt her own smile underneath her fingertips. She shook her head again.

"Get a grip Amanda," she whispered. But a grip was what she always had. She always felt like she had to be in control. Maybe losing her grip wasn't such a bad thing. Not with a friend at least. She needed to think about that. And there was something else she needed. She headed for the bathroom and a cold shower.

The End! Well maybe not... ;)